No One Wants to Be Miss Havisham

by Brigid Coady

  "Too right," she heard Barry say. He was listening. This was good. "But last night, everything she believed was shaken. How couldn’t it be? Her mum and dad are on the verge of divorce. Maybe everything and everyone are different? Maybe love isn't everything. And what if after all the time she’s believed in a happily ever after, she gets left and ends up all alone?"

  “Last night, she was going to call you back but when she heard what had happened with her parents she lashed out at the one person who can hurt her the most. You, Barry. If she didn't love you she wouldn't have attacked you. It was her way of defending herself. She wanted to protect herself. Hell, I've been swiping out at people and things that scare me for years."

  She screeched to a stop at a junction. The traffic lights were blurry but when she tried to clean the windscreen she realised that she was crying.

  "Barry, she loves you. You need to make her feel secure again. You need to rebuild her foundation. If you don't…"

  She choked. She remembered Mel's face from last night’s haunting. Heard the scraping clank of the chain, which even now was beginning to forge links and wrap itself around Mel.

  And she knew then when her own foundation had been shaken, when her own chain had begun to be forged. Her dad leaving. And that was when her mum's foundation had gone too. And the pair of them had crumbled into the sea of despair. There had been no one to save her. So they’d built the chains that anchored them there.

  And Hilary Satis had helped them.

  She gulped in air and carried on.

  "If you don't help her, you'll regret it till the end of your life and beyond. True love, Barry, it is unconditional. It's in the Ts and Cs."

  There was silence at the other end of the phone.

  Edie pulled away from the lights and took the dual carriageway.

  "Edie?" It wasn't Tom now, it was Barry and he'd taken her off speaker phone.

  "Yes?" Her hand shook as she changed gear.

  "I'll be at the church." And he hung up.

  Edie thumped the steering wheel. Now she needed Maggie to make sure Mel got there. She dialled the number and when it was answered, without waiting for Maggie to speak, she shouted.

  "He'll be at the church. Make sure Mel is getting ready. I'll be back in time to talk her through it."

  She cut the call. It wasn't ideal but Mel's wedding wasn't the only thing she had to fix that day.

  Twenty minutes later, Edie pulled up in front of a familiar townhouse. It still looked as if it were built of Lego and she breathed a sigh of relief that it was still neatly kept.

  The windowsills were whole and smartly painted, and the grass a regulation few millimetres long. She stared at it, the cold empty feeling from last night, which still clung to her like the trailing ends of the veil started to melt away.

  She checked the time.

  Eight am.

  Early for a Saturday but she didn't have much time. It wasn't as if she was going to get a warm welcome, whatever time of the day she showed up. She could do this.

  She opened the car door and got out, a lot more reluctantly than when she'd got in. Edie walked up the path and as she came to the door, she briefly touched the wall she had melted through the night before.

  It was solid.

  Shaking out her arms, which were stiff from holding onto the steering wheel for dear life, she raised a finger and rang the doorbell.

  She could do this. She waited for someone to answer the door.

  "You!"

  Edie supposed it was too much to ask for Rachel's partner to open the door. Quickly she stuck her foot in the door before Rachel could slam it shut in her face.

  Ouch.

  Edie smothered the involuntary scream as Rachel slammed the door on her foot. If the wedding did go ahead she would be limping down the aisle. And dancing would be somewhat difficult.

  "Please, let me talk," she said.

  "Talk? Why should I talk to you? You've ruined everything." Rachel leant on the door. Edie's shoe creaked in protest.

  Why couldn’t it be winter so she could've been wearing boots?

  "Please, I want to explain." She wasn't sure how she could explain but she was going to give it a damn good try.

  Lives depended on it.

  "What’s wrong?" Rob Cratchit appeared behind Rachel.

  "The Queen Bitch here is trying to explain how she's ruined our lives."

  Edie had never guessed that under Rachel's meek exterior lay this lioness. Maybe there was hope for Rachel as a lawyer yet. But maybe more general family law, not divorce.

  "Let her in, love." Rob reached out and stroked Rachel’s arm.

  Edie could see Rachel relax and lean into him at his touch.

  She felt a stab at her heart.

  Damn, she was jealous of Rachel. She would've laughed from the sheer obviousness of it if she didn't think it wouldn't have set Rachel into a rage.

  Of course she was jealous. Rachel had people and connections. Edie had none. Edie owed it to her to fix what she'd tried to sabotage.

  Rachel held on to the door a moment longer while Rob held her arm. She glared at Edie whilst putting a bit more pressure on her squashed foot. Edie's eyes started to water.

  Then the pressure eased and Edie fell in through the door.

  The room was exactly how she remembered it from her first visit; light and messy, clean and full of toys. It wasn't too late.

  Babbling came from the kitchen and Edie found her attention drawn there.

  Timmy.

  She needed to see him, to make sure he was OK. She started towards the kitchen.

  "No. You can't." Rachel said.

  She darted in front of Edie to try and cut her off but Edie faked a pass and slipped past her.

  Timmy was sat at the kitchen table smiling at her as if asking 'What took you so long?’ With everything else that had been going on, Edie wouldn't have been surprised if he tapped a clock and told her off.

  "Hi Timmy," she said.

  He made a gesture and smiled at her.

  It soothed all the jagged edges that were still inside her, including the shame of having been jealous of Rachel.

  "That means hello." Rob said from behind her.

  "He's amazing," Edie said in wonder as she smiled back at him.

  "Stop it." Rachel grabbed her arm and started trying to pull at her away. She was trying to drag her out of the kitchen.

  She had to make this right for all of them. Edie shook off Rachel's arm and turned to face them both.

  "Rachel, I'm sorry. More than you can ever know. For everything. I'm sorry for being a bitch to you. I’m sorry for sending those emails to HR, all of which I will be taking back on Monday morning. I'll also be looking to ensure that you are rewarded for the work you do and see how we can work around your family here." Edie gestured to Rob and Timmy.

  Rachel still looked sceptical and had an eyebrow raised but at least she'd stopped trying to drag Edie out of the kitchen. Her mouth was mulish.

  "Most of all I'm sorry for invading your privacy and causing the issue with Timmy. I truly wanted to help. But I'm not good with people."

  "Too right," said Rachel.

  "It was supposed to be my way of making amends but I was too self-involved to actually talk to you. To work out what would actually help. And with the custody case…I'm going to make sure that you get the best representation and anything you need in terms of references or personal statements."

  There was silence.

  Rachel was still tense, watching her like a cat at a mouse hole. She looked as if she was waiting for the punch line. Or for Edie to kick her. Rob was watching her intently.

  Edie waited. She didn't know what else she could do. There was no punch line. She didn't know how to be more sincere. All those years of being a bitch to people meant it was hard for them to overcome their doubts and for people to take her seriously. The silence stretched uncomfortably.

  Then, just before Edie was about to fall on her knees, wrap her
arms round Rachel's legs and howl to be saved, help came from an unexpected source.

  There was a stream of sound from Timmy with more hand gestures.

  "No." Rachel said sharply.

  "What did he say?" Edie wanted to know; she looked at him. His eyes were gleaming and his smile was wide.

  "He said ‘she’s sorry, be nice.’” Rob said.

  She had Timmy on her side. How, she didn't know, but she did.

  She could still feel the letters of his name carved into marble on her fingertips. They were carved in her heart. It gave her goose bumps.

  Not on her watch. No.

  They all looked to Rachel for an answer. She was biting her lip.

  Listen to Timmy, Edie tried to will her to hear. For some reason he could see past her masks and walls and see the real Edie. The one she was just rediscovering.

  "Do you mean it?" Rachel asked at long last.

  Edie almost collapsed sobbing on the floor. Maybe she could do this after all.

  She left half an hour later having signed a statement swearing that she would do what she'd promised under pain of some really uncomfortable professional embarrassments. She'd also drafted the email to send to HR and sent it while Rachel watched over her shoulder.

  Yes, Rachel had a good future as a lawyer.

  Edie jumped back into the car. Time check; eight forty five am. Plenty of time to make it back to Mel’s for hair and make-up and to persuade Mel that she needed to show up for her own wedding. She turned on the engine, put the car in gear and raced back the way she’d come.

  Chapter 24

  "Where the hell have you been?” Mel was wide-eyed and pale, wringing her hands as she sat on a straight-backed chair in the front room.

  The mountain bike seemed to have been moved elsewhere and all the available space was taken up with people.

  Mel was surrounded.

  The make-up artist, the hairdresser, the bridesmaids and Maggie standing in the hallway, hair wild.

  And Sophie was smugly holding Mel's hand.

  "Really, how can you be so selfish running off like that, Edie? Poor Mel has been sitting here, panicking. Personally, I think we should be cancelling everything. I couldn't even get Barry to listen to reason last night, and I'm his sister." Sophie said.

  Edie saw Mel quiver as if she’d been shot. She wondered whether slapping Sophie would undo all the good she'd just done?

  "I had to sort a few things out but I'm here now." Edie said as she rushed to Mel's side.

  She bumped Sophie out of the way with a careful elbow and hip. She didn't think she left bruises but wished she had.

  "Mum says that Barry will be there." Mel had a death grip on Edie's hand. "But he isn't taking Sophie's calls, so we can’t check."

  Sophie had even managed to annoy her brother.

  "Yes, he'll be there. He promised." Edie patted Mel's hand, which was now crushing hers.

  She needed a glass of champagne, stat. She looked round; there was none.

  "Maggie, can you get the bottles I put in the fridge? We need them."

  "I don't think we should be celebrating." Sophie said.

  She was really getting on Edie’s wick.

  "Shut up, Sophie." Edie said.

  "No, I won't. It isn't like you 'do weddings' is it? How can we be sure you aren't setting Mel up just to prove your point?"

  The room went silent and everyone paused. Edie could feel herself blush, her cheeks hot.

  “Yes, Edie. What do you care? You hate weddings. You don’t believe in true love. How can you be sure?” Mel said, her grip loosening on Edie's hand.

  Edie’s raw, exposed heart flinched. Here was the proof of how far she'd fallen. Even Mel didn't believe her.

  But she had to make her believe.

  “I do care. I care a lot. I’ve spent years pushing people away to protect myself. Years telling myself that it didn’t matter. That true love was just a ruse. That none of it mattered. But I was wrong. Mel, I was wrong.” Edie said trying to sound convincing, putting her all into it.

  She could hear Sophie tutting.

  Edie needed more. She was feeling desperate. She could tell that the successful feeling was slipping away from her. She could feel the chain around her waist getting heavier.

  Looking round she saw it; Mel’s wedding dress, hanging swathed in plastic in the doorway. Edie couldn’t help but smile. Mel had looked amazing in it at the last fitting. She'd glowed with happiness. She had been a vision.

  She had been the embodiment of true love.

  Edie gestured to it.

  “See, Mel. Your dress. Remember how you looked in it? You glowed in that dress because you were wearing the gown that you will be marrying your true love in. It is more than today, the wedding. It is about a marriage. It is about forever.

  Edie paused, then said “You love him. You really love him. What does it matter if your parents have lost their way? That is their life, not yours. You and Barry can handle anything and everything. You always could.” Edie's voice broke and she realised she was clutching Mel's hand just as tightly as she was clutching hers.

  Sophie sighed and tutted some more.

  "Shut up, Sophie." Jo, Maggie plus the hairdresser and make-up artist all said at the same time.

  Edie looked up. Everyone but Sophie was in tears.

  “Oh no! But it’s too late, Edie. I told him I wasn’t marrying him.” Mel slumped back in her chair, her shoulders shaking. “He isn’t going to come is he? I've blown it."

  “Of course he's coming.” Edie said. “I spoke to him this morning. He’ll be there. He promised. I promise." Edie finished, realising that saying Barry had promised might remind Mel that he'd promised to sort out the DJ but hadn't.

  "You do? You promise?" Mel sat up a little straighter. Hope on her face.

  "I promise and I'll be there every step of the way." Edie reiterated. This was part of her present to Mel. She couldn't let her be damned like Edie had been.

  There was a snort from Sophie.

  Jo elbowed her.

  Edie smiled. The day was getting better.

  "Now let's get that champagne out. We've got a wedding to get to.”

  She let go of Mel’s hand and went to help Maggie pour out the bubbles.

  "Sophie! You're stepping all over my dress," Jo complained as they loaded up the cars, which were clogging up the small street in front of Mel's house.

  Edie watched from the corner. She, luckily, was in a car with the flower girl and Maggie.

  She helped Mel get into the white Bentley, smoothing out the long skirt of the dress to minimise creases. Doug got in the car next to Mel.

  "Dad!" Mel wailed as Doug sat on the dress.

  "Sorry!" he shifted off it.

  "It will be fine, see? All gone," said Edie as she patted it flat.

  "See you at the church." Edie said as the chauffeur shut the door, got behind the wheel and drove off.

  Behind her small posy of flowers that echoed Mel’s larger bouquet, Edie had her fingers crossed, while she waved with the other hand.

  This was going to work out. It had to.

  "Edie!" Maggie called her over.

  Edie stopped waving and picked up the handbag with her essentials in it. She got into the waiting black car and put the bag in the footwell.

  Mel was off to the church safely. Jo and Sophie were in the car in front. Edie could see Sophie waving her hands around.

  Poor Jo, she thought. But they had their posies and they were on their way. She could relax now until they got to the church.

  They headed slowly down the residential streets of south London. The church was only a few miles away but Edie knew with Saturday traffic it would take them about half an hour.

  She relaxed into the seat; there was nothing more she could do until they got there.

  Please, Barry, she thought. Please be there. But what if he wasn't? Well then, she'd make sure that Mel didn't turn into a bitter person like she'd been. They'd work it o
ut together. They’d move on together.

  Edie smiled at Maggie who was looking regal as only the mother of the bride could.

  Everything was going to go right, Edie decided. Positive thinking.

  Edie felt the vibration of her phone against her foot from where her handbag sat. She leant down, her heart thumping.

  Please don't be Barry backing out, she prayed.

  It was an unknown number.

  She pressed the button to answer.

  If this is a sales call, she thought, she wouldn’t be responsible for her actions. No one would blame her, least of all the Ghosts.

  She braced herself to hear about how she could claim for a car accident she'd never had.

  "Edie Dickens" she answered.

  "Edie?" it was a vaguely familiar male voice.

  "Yes?" Please don't let it be the vicar, she thought. She chewed the skin at the corner of her thumbnail, there wasn't enough nail left to chew on.

  She was going to have to hide her hands for the photos, she thought, while she tried to place the voice.

  "Edie, this is your dad." The voice was husky and hesitant.

  Her dad? Her father was talking to her.

  Chapter 25

  All the blood rushed out of her head, she felt dizzy. Her heart halted, then started hammering hard in her chest. It felt like it wanted to jump out of her.

  She couldn't breathe. Her lungs felt paralysed.

  She gulped down some air but she couldn't say anything.

  She was mute.

  Say something, Edie, she shouted in her mind.

  "I hope you don't mind. Mum gave me your phone number," the voice, her dad carried on.

  All Edie could do was press the phone closer to her ear to be as near to him as she could.

  The voice was warm; it felt like a hug.

  "Edie?" he asked.

  She realised she still hadn't said anything.

  "I don't mind," she croaked.

  "Look, I know it's short notice but I'm in London today. I fly out again later tonight and won't be back for a fortnight so I was hoping we could meet?"