Walking Among the Shadows: Awakening: Revised Edition

by Navi' Robins

  “But yeah, that fool, he tried to pull a Cosby Show at our house. Man, I had to get him straight. He didn’t like that and tried to be on some ‘I’m going to discipline you’ shit and actually went and got a belt to hit me with it.”

  “Oh no!”

  “Hell yeah… So after he woke up in the hospital to the beeping of the life-support machine…”

  We both burst out in a laughter that lasted well over a minute.

  “Oh man dude, you are crazy,” I said, wiping the tears from my eyes. “So I take it it didn’t work out between your mom and Reggie.”

  “Punk!” Tony protested.

  “Sorry, I meant Greg. But he did look like a Reginald.”

  We both fell over laughing again. It was moments like these that made it clear to me why Tony was my best friend and how valuable our relationship was to me. To be able to share a horrifying revelation one moment and then laugh uncontrollably the next was priceless. Our friendship was a rare one and we both knew it. Nothing was worth gambling this for; we both belonged to incomplete families with a far more colorful history than the average but we were able to share our experiences of pain, happiness, and insecurities.

  We gathered strength from each other to gain a more positive outlook on our future. Because we came from broken families, according to statistics we were destined for failure. Back then we didn’t understand how our friendship could mold our future. All it took was one misstep; one wrong decision. But we didn’t see things that way; back then we were the best of friends just having a good laugh….

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Friday and my birthday rolled around before I knew it. I was finally seventeen! My mom told me that after the age of fifteen, each year starts to feel very different and she was right. I felt that things were going to change drastically from now on. I couldn’t figure out if it would be for better or worse, but what I did realize was that change wasn’t coming; it was here. Today was also the day that I would find out if I made the team. I wasn’t getting my hopes up after my performance in the final phase of tryouts. I still wasn’t completely convinced that everything that happened that day was strictly in my mind, but I wasn’t going to let Tony in on it. I’d involved him enough and I didn’t want to destroy our friendship so I kept my doubts to myself. I didn’t like keeping it from him but I felt it was necessary at this point. So I would just smile and behave as if everything was fine. But I was going to get the truth about Jasmine and her family because something just wasn’t right about her.

  The time had come and more than half the school was standing outside the coach’s office waiting for him to post this year’s roster for the football team. I didn’t plan on showing my face over there. No one said anything to me about my performance in the last phase of the tryouts, but I could only imagine what they were thinking and what would be said once the list surfaced with my name absent from it. I decided while everyone was occupied at the coach’s office door, to head over to the library and pretend to be in deep study. Truth is I was researching psychological profiles of serial killers. There were some very disturbing yet similar things in these books and I discovered my condition wasn’t rare or unheard of. Some of the most notorious serial killers believed their victims were a threat to them. They believed they were demons, witches, or possessed by some evil force and by killing them in a ritualistic fashion they were releasing the tormented souls of the possessed.

  Experts really had no solid clues as to what triggered these dark fantasies. Some theories were troubled childhoods riddled with mental and physical abuse, but that didn’t apply to all serial killers. The more I read the more terrified I became. It was like I was reading how my life would turn out if I continued down the path I was headed. I became paranoid and started feeling like everyone in the library was watching me and they were aware what I was reading and more disturbing, why. I became anxious and unsettled as it became harder to focus on what I was reading. It got so bad I decided to put the books back and Google whatever else I needed in the privacy of my room. As I began to pack up the books, I noticed the area where I needed to put them back had suddenly gotten crowded with students looking for books.

  It seemed like they were all just innocently looking for books, but I felt like they were waiting to see what I’d been reading. Once my secret was discovered they would put the word out that Aiden was transforming into a serial killer and was trying to hide it. It seemed the longer I waited for the area to clear out, the more the traffic grew. I had to put the books back because leaving them was even worse. So I began to think up all kinds of excuses to explain why I was reading these kinds of books if anyone inquired or gave me any strange looks. The best one I came up with was research on Ted Bundy because of a special project I was given for the National Honor Society of which I’d been a member for as long as I can remember. Everyone knew the N.H.S. always gave its members special projects and assignments so it wouldn’t be so far-fetched. Yeah, I think that would work. After sitting there convincing myself that the Ted Bundy story would fly, I mustered up enough nerve to make my move but they were still watching me.

  Nosey bastards! I should carve out their eyes and wear them as a necklace to warn others to stay out of my damned business.

  Wait! What is wrong with me? That thought just popped into my head along with an image of myself wearing an eyeball chain marching through the school’s hallways. I was shocked that I felt no remorse or any hesitation that what I was thinking was wrong. Tony may be right; I may need to see a professional. They may be able to stop me and correct my mental breakdown before I become an active serial killer.

  Being that in a few minutes I would be the laughing stock of the school due to my major failure at getting on the football team, I thought a few months away from here would be fine by me. I’d rather sit on a shrink’s couch than listen to the students here talk about my choke session on the field. I knew if I told my mom everything she would take me out of school and as far away from Jasmine as possible. Hey she may even send me to live with my grandparents in Spain. Suddenly, coming clean didn’t seem all that bad. At least with a head start the doctors could help me. As I stood up with the books in my hands, I looked up to see Sarah and Tony standing in the library’s doorway. Seeing both of them there startled me and the books slipped from my grasp and fell to the floor. The sound they made seemed louder than gunfire, which was very strange because the library’s floor was covered with carpet.

  Then I swear to God, the books started yelling.

  “He’s a serial killer, look at what he’s reading! Don’t believe the Ted Bundy story! Look at us! Look at his books!” Louder and louder they screamed as they taunted me.

  “Shut up!”

  Before I knew it I was stomping on the books as they began to laugh saying, “Told you he’s crazy, look at him assaulting and yelling at books!”

  “Shut up!” I yelled at the top of my lungs.

  “No, you shut up and fess up!” they continued to taunt.

  At this point I was in a rage and someone had to pay. I reached down with plans to throw each book through the library’s windows. Suddenly I felt Tony firmly grab my arm.

  “Dude, what the hell?! Snap out of it, let’s go!”

  “Where?”

  “To see if you made the team.”

  “No, I don’t want to.”

  “So, you wanna stay here?” Tony asked while drawing my attention towards everyone looking at me with fear and disgust.

  “Oh. Point well made, let’s go.”

  “Put those books back first.”

  I could see Tony glance at the titles of each book and then look at me with that worried look he gave me when I told him I felt Jasmine was a threat. I wanted to explain but he stopped me and rushed me out of the library.

  It took a lot of pushing and shoving to get near the board outside the coach’s office. The energy in the hallway was explosive. I began to feel elevated and in good spirits. The excitement in the air was electric
and powerful. I felt like I could touch the excitement, even taste it. I felt like I just drank a gallon of sunshine and Red Bull. A smile formed across my face as I started to feel at peace and in control. After experiencing so much disappointment and fear over the last week I didn’t want this feeling to end. It was euphoric, and personal. I felt directly connected to everyone in the hallway, like we all were one organism with one goal. Tony looked at me and started laughing.

  “Dude, you look like you just got some.”

  “Some what?”

  And then Tony gave me “the look”; it was the look he used every time he was referring to sex. It was the head tilting to the right and a look of mischief and confidence.

  “Oh, whatever, I just feel great!”

  “I’m glad you are better because that scene in the library has landed on my ‘weirdest shit list.’”

  “I know, but I’m good now.”

  And it was true. I was good, actually better than good. I felt like a brand-new car rolling off the assembly line and not just any car, a Ferrari. I felt beyond any harm or fear, like a newborn in the arms of its mother after being pulled out of the darkness of the womb and into this world.

  As the excitement continued to build, so did my reaction. Again I found myself bombarded with feelings of invincibility and endless possibilities at my fingertips. I felt like the world was my oyster and I was ready to crack it open. I surprisingly found myself feeling more optimistic about making the football team. This godlike feeling that was moving through me was a welcome change from the shame and inadequacy I was used to feeling. Then the door to the coach’s office opened and Mr. Towers slowly walked out with the list in hand. The loud hall immediately fell silent, but the energy was still there. Everyone seemed to be holding their breath in anticipation of the contents on that list in Coach’s hand. As he does every year, he stands there saying nothing, looking over the restless crowd, then he smiles and turns to pin up the list on the board. Then without saying a word, walks back in his office.

  As soon as his door closed, the crowd rushed towards the board. The students, out of respect for Mr. Towers, always waited until he was clear of the board and back in his office before they charged the board. Like I mentioned before, he was an advocate for the students and he deserved our respect. Most of the other faculty talked at us and not to us, so in our eyes, respect wasn’t deserved or a priority. As the crowd glanced over the list, you could hear above all the noise and chatter yells of triumph followed by congratulations, and grunts of defeat followed by taunting and the occasional “better luck next year.” When I looked I noticed Sarah was already at the board looking for my name. Tony was standing next to me, waiting for the bad news. Sarah quickly turned to face with gleaming eyes and the widest smile I’d ever seen on her face.

  “No? No!” I yelled.

  She shook her head yes. “Aiden, you made it!”

  “Oh my God, no way!” I screamed and ran towards the board.

  “You’re not a starter, but you’re second string, which is a miracle all in itself seeing how you performed the other day,” Sarah teased.

  I didn’t care, I made it; I was a Deerfield High Warrior! My excitement was on full tilt and I just stood there smiling. The Warriors were in their best shape in years and a lot of sports analysts labeled the Warriors the team to watch this year.

  Happy birthday to me!

  Nothing mattered but this moment. Before I knew it, the three of us were pumping our fists in the air yelling “what!” until everyone in the hallway started to yell along. It was one of those moments you carry with you throughout your life. When you feel like a failure and nothing seems to go your way, you will remember moments like these. These moments inspire miracles in all of us. They make the impossible seem possible. Remembering moments of success and victory when failure seemed the only option makes that loser reach for his place among the winners. This was our moment and we celebrated with all our hearts.

  The day went by fast after the roster reveal and soon we were walking home talking about all the “what ifs” and what I should expect this coming season with the Warriors.

  “So how does it feel to be a Warrior?”

  “It feels great, man, it really does. Hopefully I can get some playing time and show the coach my worth.”

  “Tony?”

  “Yes, Sarah,” Tony sighed, answering with stress in his voice for fear of the question he would have to answer.

  “Why don’t you play sports?”

  “I do, it’s called pimping and only champions need apply.”

  “Uhh! Tony, sometimes you can be such an infant,” she complained.

  “Hey, you asked.”

  “I’m sorry I did now!”

  “Good! Next time you’ll stay out my business!”

  “Good luck with that,” I laughed.

  Sarah rolled her eyes and walked ahead of us.

  “Now Aiden, what was that in the library?”

  “Dude, don’t ask, let’s just leave that alone for now. I don’t want to be brought down right now.”

  “You’re right bro, my bad. Let’s bask in your victory and look forward to tonight’s festivities.”

  “Is everything in order?”

  “Dude, my cousin’s gonna have the whole club clicking. VIP treatment all the way. But the big thing is will your mom come through with the ride?”

  “She’ll come through.”

  “You sure? It’s a recession you know.”

  “Tony, you of all people should know my family isn’t hurting for money.”

  “True, true. Dude, it’s gonna be off the hook tonight!”

  “Yes sir.” I agreed.

  “Happy Birthday again, brother.”

  “Thanks, man!”

  As we approached our house I saw another vehicle in the driveway, which I figured was Jason’s. I inhaled deeply, preparing myself for this meet and greet. I could tell Sarah wasn’t all that enthused about meeting him either. Jason’s car was a beautiful black-on-black 2009 Bentley coupe convertible. The license plate read “SHADOW 6.” Even though I didn’t want to give props where they were due, the license plate name was dead-on for the kind of vehicle it was attached to. From his car I could tell Jason had taste and money and had no reservations in showing them both off. So at least my mom didn’t land a leech.

  “OOOO WEE!” Tony yelled, admiring Jason’s Bentley while doing a silly dance next to the driver’s side door.

  “Aiden, you have to admit the dude has got great taste in cars; those black 22s are banging hard!”

  I quickly glanced over the car. It was badass, I nodded in agreement.

  “Wait! You know most of the time dudes with cars like this are butt-ugly. I mean can you imagine your mom dating a white Flavor Flav?”

  Sarah was standing next to Tony admiring Jason’s car. When she heard the Flavor Flav comment she immediately punched him in his shoulder.

  “Ouch!”

  “Hurt didn’t it? So did that comment,” she complained.

  “My bad! I’m just saying let’s hope he looks as good as his car.”

  “Dude, stop!” I warned.

  “Stop? Remember Reginald? Yeah playa, payback’s a bitch in a badass car.”

  Sometimes Tony could be such a boob and using this situation as payback for the jokes I made the other day in my room was ultimate boobish behavior.

  “Well, I’m heading home. See you in a minute.”

  “Aw, hell naw! You are coming in too, Tony,” I demanded. “Clearly Jason is rich and rich people aren’t always the most tolerable people, so walking a black dude in might throw him off his game.”

  “Oh, so I’m the bait?”

  “Yep, that’s you. If he doesn’t like black people he’s gotta go,” Sarah advised.

  “I agree…hmm. You know what, you’re right. Let’s see what’s up with Mr. Bentley,” agreed Tony.

  When we walked through the door we were greeted by possibly the most handsome older ma
n I have seen outside of a movie. He possessed a regal yet inviting aura. My defenses immediately lowered and I found myself pleasantly surprised to be smiling at him. Sarah’s eyes were sparkling with admiration and Tony was equally impressed. He greeted us all warmly and by name. His voice was deep and penetrating yet possessed a gentleness in it that seemed to massage all the apprehension from inside of us. I felt like I could immediately trust him with my life. Was I under a spell? Sarah and I agreed to give this guy a hard time for at least ninety days. It was rare that we agreed on anything and this was one of those occasions. But here we both were totally forgetting our pact. He seemed perfect, not too perfect, but everything I would want in a father figure physically. No one wants a beautiful mother and an ugly father or father figure in their lives. Again, impressions are important to most but to a teenager it’s everything.

  So for your single mother to find a very attractive man to date is a win on many levels. He was about six foot two, tanned, with a well-groomed haircut. He had some gray sprinkled here and there, but it added to his appeal. Blue eyes, and from his accent he sounded like he was Greek or maybe from somewhere else around the Mediterranean. I could see my mom looking on with a huge smile on her face, watching our warm exchange with Jason.

  “I’ve been anxiously waiting to meet you,” Jason revealed. “All of you. I’m so happy to finally get this chance. Thank you Aiden, for allowing me to share this special day with your family.”

  “You are welcome,” I answered.

  “So Aiden, did you make the team?” Jason asked.

  “Yes I did,” I answered with complete surprise.

  “Your mom told me about you trying out for the team. I’ve never played any sports when I was your age. Always wanted to but never got the opportunity. In my village in Greece we didn’t have much time to play sports…”