Walking Among the Shadows: Awakening: Revised Edition

by Navi' Robins

  The score at halftime was 36 to 7 in favor of the away team. Highland Park High had a great team this year so our chances of a comeback were slim to none. A lot of the people in the stands started leaving during the half-time show and dedication to Steve.

  Coach called me in his office after going over our strategy for the next two quarters. In his office the coach had a look of amusement and frustration on his face. I could tell he was amazed at how horrible I performed today and how frustrating it was that he didn’t have a backup for me.

  “Coach, look, take me out. I’m costing us the game.”

  “No, we need to show some dignity and poise. You wanted the starting position, so you got it! And don’t even think about leaving the game early. You are going to see this game through to the end. I don’t coach quitters and I’m not going to let you get off that easy. Hopefully you can redeem yourself in the final two quarters of the game. If not, then maybe next time.”

  “But, coach, I’m not cut out for this. It’s not working out!”

  “Son, I don’t want to hear that sob story. You were amazing during most of your tryouts, and during practices you dominated the field. You have great skill and potential and we are going to see both realized no matter what. So suck it up, focus, and get out there and show me what we both know you’re capable of.”

  I couldn’t believe the coach; his refusal to let me sit the rest of the game out was frustrating. But I knew arguing with him further would be a waste of time. We both exited the office together and Coach announced that I would finish the game out at running back. Everyone in the locker room protested and then Brian stormed out in anger kicking over one of the water coolers. This was going to be a very long day. Minutes later I was back out on the field welcomed by the boos of the crowd. A few people began to throw cups and garbage on the field, and security was forced to escort them out. On the sidelines stood Jasmine, taunting me, and I began to feel even worse than in the first half. Whatever she was doing she was intensifying it now. There she stood, smiling at me. I could sense she was filled with joy at the prospect of my choking another two quarters and getting creamed by the defense. I just couldn’t understand why she chose me. What did I do to her for her to torture me like this?

  Tony thought my feelings were coming from within and that she had nothing to do with it. But I was positive now my feelings were coming from her. But how could that be? Who, or better yet, what was she? I began to second-guess myself again, thinking maybe it was me, and that I was turning into this murderous monster and she was my next victim. Next victim? The thought sent waves of guilt through me. Did I just admit to myself that I killed Steve? I was so confused and afraid. My life was turning into a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from. I looked out on the field from the bench watching our defense work extra hard to get the ball back. After the next play they forced a turnover and it was time for the offense with the worse running back in school history to take the field. I was subdued and had given up all hope for redemption. I just wanted it all to be over so I could go home and hide in my room for a few days. I had already planned on playing sick to avoid at least three days of school next week. I needed to prepare for the pending slaughter that would await me when I showed my face.

  My head was hanging low and my mood was even lower. I had given up completely. I sighed and started making my way out on the field. The boos got louder as I approached the huddle. Then behind me I heard a familiar voice.

  “Aiden! Aiden!”

  When I turned I saw Jason calling for me while making his way down to the sidelines. Jasmine turned as well to see who was calling me and the strangest thing happened. A look of pure horror came over Jasmine’s face at the sight of Jason and she immediately began to leave the field. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I looked over at Jason to see if he’d said something or given her a look, but he wasn’t even looking in her direction. His attention was fixed on me. I watched in amazement as Jasmine quickly sprinted off the field. The further she got away from me the better I felt. Jason was standing by the benches gesturing me to come over. I immediately called time-out and ran towards Jason. Coach was furious now and stormed over towards me and Jason.

  “What are you doing?” screamed the coach. “And who are you and why are you on my field?!”

  “I’m sorry, Coach, my name is Jason and I’m a good friend of the family,” Jason said, extending his hand towards the coach.

  The coach hesitated then decided to shake Jason’s hand.

  “I’m so sorry for the intrusion but I needed to speak with Aiden. It’s extremely important.”

  The longer the coach listened to Jason’s voice, I noticed the calmer he became.

  “I just need a minute that’s all.”

  “Okay, fine…Jason, correct?”

  “Yes.”

  “Nice meeting you.”

  “Likewise, Coach.”

  Jason pulled me to the side. Grabbing my shoulders firmly, he looked me directly in my eyes and said, “You are better than this. You can do anything if you believe you can. Whatever happened before right now doesn’t matter. What matters is now, on that field. You can be great, you just have to believe it and go out there and be great. Forget the boos and laughter. Have fun and play how we both know you can!”

  It wasn’t the words or his tone that had an effect on me. It was something else, something at the time I couldn’t explain. But it sent a surge of confidence through me and I was ready to tear the turf off the ground to win this game.

  “Now go. Get out there and play your game!”

  As I turned towards the huddle, I could see my teammates looking at me with disgust. But I wasn’t bothered by their looks. I was filled with so much emotion and energy I felt like I could plow through a brick wall towards the end zone. In the middle of the huddle several teammates cracked on me, asking if I was ready to choke up some more negative yards. I ignored them and listened to what the next play would be. It was a run play of course. But I was determined now to shut up the booing crowd and the heckling teammates.

  We were in formation, and I could see the defense going for the run blitz. Usually the quarterback would call an audible, but he was determined to punish me for my poor performance in the first half. Everyone on the team had accepted we were going to lose this game so they decided to allow Highland Park’s defense to punish me for the next two quarters. I smiled to myself because I knew they were all in for a surprise. I just couldn’t understand why I was so confident, but I was. It was like I could see the outcome before it happened and from what I could see we were going to win this game. Brian called for the snap and the entire field began to move once the play began. Brian moved like he was going to toss me the ball on an inside play but decided to toss it further out. Brian was hoping I would miss his change of the play, and fumble the ball. Again embarrassing myself and getting pounded by the defense. But this time things were different; I was alert, strong, and confident.

  Nothing was going to stop me. I could see the look of surprise on Brian’s face when he realized I caught the toss and was already moving up field. Everything on the field seemed to move in slow motion and I was moving at super speed. After breaking through not one but four tackles, I was in the secondary running towards the end zone. I didn’t look back or to my side, only towards the end zone. By now I’d beaten everyone who could stop me and I was running full speed towards the end zone.

  I could hear the coach yelling,

  “Go! Go! Go! Goooo!”

  The crowd was now yelling and on their feet cheering me as I ran towards pay dirt. As I crossed into the end zone I could hear the announcer over the speaker yelling touchdown and the crowd going absolutely crazy. The rest of the team was just standing at the line of scrimmage, mouths agape with looks of disbelief. The defense was in shock as well. I didn’t understand why they were so amazed. It was just a running play that went for a score, but when I looked closely at where we snapped the ball I began to understand their lo
oks of amazement. I had been so zoned out that I never noticed that we snapped the ball from inside our own end zone. I just ran the ball from one end zone of the field to the other; and coming from a play that was designed to fail. Yeah, it was pretty impressive.

  I walked back to the bench and handed Brian the ball, smiling. He just looked at me without blinking with the same amazed look in his eyes.

  “You think maybe next time you can let me in on when you are gonna change the play after the snap?”

  “Su…Sure, Aiden,” stuttered Brian. “My bad.”

  “It’s cool. Let’s win this game for Steve, all right?”

  I held out my hand to Brian, an invitation to become teammates and maybe friends on and off the field. He looked at my hand, smiled, and shook it firmly.

  “Cool, let’s do this,” he agreed.

  The next two quarters of play were like something out of a video game with the difficulty setting on mentally challenged. By the time the game was over I’d rushed a total of 302 yards with 108 receiving yards and four rushing TDs; winning the game 42 to 36. During the game, I would look up in the stands for my mom, Sarah, and Jason, and I could see them cheering and yelling at the top of their lungs. It was a glorious feeling that I never wanted to end.

  The crowd rushed on the field to celebrate with the team and congratulate me on a record-breaking game. I broke the single-game record for rushing yards at Deerfield High; and just like that, what seemed to be a disastrous day became another defining moment in my life. The Chicago Sun-Times was even there as well as Fox News, and I was interviewed by both. I was pretty nervous, so I kept it short and sweet, never saying too much to make me look arrogant or stupid. Then the coach came through the crowd while I was in front of the camera and handed me the game ball. The crowd suddenly got quiet and everyone was listening to what the coach had to say.

  “I don’t know what Jason said to you after halftime, but whatever he said, tell him I said thank you! You were amazing out there, Aiden. You honored Steve’s memory today. You deserve this game ball.”

  While the crowd continued to cheer I looked down at the ball coach handed to me and frowned. This was great, but the reason I was here now was because of a murder—possibly by my hands.

  I looked up and in the stands I could see Steve’s mom sitting alone, sobbing. I could feel she was devastated knowing she would never see her son again on this field or any other field.

  We won this game in his name, but winning didn’t bring him back nor did it ease the pain of his passing. I slowly started walking away from the crowd; the reporter from Fox was trying to get a closing statement from me and I just left her there standing with the microphone in her hand. I headed towards Steve’s mom, hoping no one would ask me where I was going. Honestly I didn’t want to give her the game ball. It was mine and I endured hell to get it. But if I was responsible somehow for her son’s death, it was the least I could do. Also it would throw off the suits to see me show some kind of compassion. I could feel the crowds’ eyes watching me as I walked towards the grieving mother. I climbed over the railing and stood in front of her. She was bent over looking at the ground, crying in her seat, so she didn’t notice me standing there at first. Damn, I wanted to keep this ball, I thought. But I was already here now so there was no turning back now.

  “Ms. Gray?”

  “Yes?” she responded, looking up. The grief in her eyes was heartbreaking.

  I kneeled down in front of her and said, “This is for you,” handing her the game ball. Ms. Gray immediately broke down, and without thinking I reached forward and hugged her. The crowd quickly grew silent as they watched our heartwarming exchange. The feeling of having people influenced by my actions was intoxicating and I knew at that very moment what I wanted to do with my life and football was it.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  The rest of the weekend was like a dream. Newspaper articles, more interviews, and the attention of my new fans. I couldn’t go to the store in Deerfield without being bombarded by people congratulating me for my performance in the game. It was a lot more than I expected. I found all the attention to be a little overwhelming and annoying without my best friend by my side cracking jokes and guiding me through the crowds of girls dying for my attention. Tony has always been around when I made the next step in my life. To either tease me or give me some kind of advice. But at this crucial junction he was missing in action and honestly I didn’t know how to repair what was broken.

  The start of the school week seemed like it was torn right out of a teenage fantasy novel. I was the center of attention and everywhere I went people smiled and congratulated me on such a great game performance. Even Sarah became a fan, calling me “Aiden Peyton” or “Sweetness.” I wasn’t too fond of her new attitude towards me. It was strange, and hard to get used to. But at the same time a nice break from the constant badgering I got from her every day. But the most noticeable change was that Jasmine stayed away from me completely. A few times I noticed her take an immediate detour when she saw me coming in her direction. She looked scared of me…but also there was something more. There was a look of fear and deep concern in her eyes like she had the memo on some soon-to-be disaster that would unfold in my life.

  I should’ve paid more attention to how concerned she looked but everything seemed to be going great and I didn’t want to ruin it with thoughts of Jasmine and her change in attitude. The coming weekend we had another game against the number-one ranked team in the state and I was planning on having another great game, hopefully delivering the upset. No one expected us to win, maybe just put up a good fight against a team that had too many weapons including the number one quarterback and running back in the Midwest. So we had our work cut out for us. Coach drilled us extra hard all week to get us sharp and used to me in the backfield—instead of the recently deceased running back. Coach Towers made it clear to everyone that he would not accept any of us not playing to our full potential anymore, especially myself. No more disastrous first halves, especially with our next opponent. He wanted us to give them everything we had. Make them fight for each and every yard. We were so motivated and ready to bring the pain.

  Friday rolled around faster than I expected, and before I had time to relax I was packing my gear Friday evening to head over to the school for our game. Jason was here again but this time he was going to ride with me to the field. Being around Jason made me feel at ease, like nothing could ever go wrong. He always said the right thing, did the right thing, as if he could read our minds. And he was very different around each of us but never offending the other. He was great with Sarah, great with me, and my mom adored him. It was like he was the missing piece in our family. I tried to find or create a reason to give him a hard time, but I couldn’t; no matter what I said or did he always had the best response that would shut me down completely.

  I was running late so I rushed downstairs burdened with my gear, with one thing in mind. Winning! Instead of meeting Jason, Mom, and Sarah, I was greeted by two suits at the foot of the stairs staring at me as I ran down the stairs like a gazelle and they were the lions ready to pounce.

  “Aiden, these men would like a few words with you,” my mom informed me. I froze, gripped with fear. My palms started sweating immediately.

  I really don’t need this shit right now.

  “Mom, I’m late!”

  “It will only take a minute, son,” responded one of the suits.

  “I really don’t have a minute, Mr…?”

  “Smith,” the lead agent responded.

  “Smith?” I asked.

  “Yes, Smith.”

  WTF moment. Am I in the Matrix or something?

  “No first name?”

  “Well, being that you are pressed for time, let’s not get into my name and instead get into your whereabouts on the night of your birthday.”

  Smart-ass! I thought to myself.

  Only a minute turned into fifteen minutes of “Mr. Smith” asking me the same five questions
in different ways over and over again and the other nameless agents just staring at me and writing down something in their notepads. All of the questions were pretty standard besides one question that, when asked, all of the agents stopped writing and gave their full attention to my response.

  “Are you seeing things that you can’t explain?”

  The question startled me a couple of times because it threw me off guard and I began to wonder if they knew about Jasmine too.

  The agents requested everyone clear the room, but Jason stepped in, advising them that an adult needed to be present and he wasn’t leaving me alone with them. His approach shocked me because I was expecting my mom to be the one to stand in. But what was even stranger was the agents began to loosen up with Jason and by the time they were leaving they were shaking his hand and laughing it up with him. With me they were all business. But not with Jason, nooo, it was like they were old college frat buddies. God, I need whatever magic he has right now because I can tell they were not going to warm up to me one bit. After they drove off, Jason turned to me and said,

  “Don’t let that rattle your feathers, Aiden. Just stay focused, you have to stay positive and passionate. Your team needs you.”

  His words calmed me immediately and I started to feel a power surge rush through me. My focus came back and I felt like I could rush for a thousand yards in one game for the win, if I needed to….

  The scoreboard read 31 to 31. I was closing in on 250 yards rushing and already had three rushing touchdowns, but the other team wasn’t giving up. I realized why the quarterback and running back on their team was rated number one in the Midwest. These guys were absolutely amazing. We were all exhausted as we were reaching the two-minute mark at the end of the second half. Neither defense was giving an inch and both our offenses were in a stalemate. It was taking an entire team effort to stay with our opponents. They were good, very good. Our defense held them to three and out and we were back on the field in the huddle. All of us were exhausted but pleasantly proud of our level of play thus far. Brian looked at me and said,