The bell rang and I advanced slowly, letting him come the longer distance to reach me. He was fired up again and although he was tired, he wasn’t done yet. He soon would be though, I realized as I watched him. He didn’t have a Sam. No one had told him that when you face an opponent of equal strength and skill, reserving some of your stamina for the end was entirely necessary.
He started attacking in a tumultuous onslaught of kicks and punches with the audience still screaming at me to fight back. He wanted the pace to be fast, he wanted the fight to be over so he could go celebrate with his friends, his girlfriend or his wife. I wasn’t going to accommodate him. I went on holding on to my strength, because I still knew that with this guy, that was going to be the key.
Meanwhile, he was throwing his away as quickly as he could and audience favorite or not, he was perilously close to losing it all. To the majority of the onlookers it seemed like I was hopelessly surpassed, but I knew there were a wise few out there who knew that if they had bet on me, their money was just as sure as if it were already in the bank.
When the second round ended, I knew I was still losing.
The third round began the same as the previous two. He was still doing all the leading and I was still taking most of the punishment. I could see the change in his eyes, the overconfidence that came from dominating the first two rounds. I had fallen for that one myself a time or two. It was enough to cause him to leave me an opening and as soon as he did, I took it. My right arm flashed out the second I saw it and it was the first real punch I had landed all night. I had pivoted my body before I threw it and it had landed against his left jaw with all of my weight behind it, knocking him to the floor. The audience suddenly reevaluated their opinions of me and they were on their feet screaming at me to finish him off.
Crusher was visibly shaken. He rolled over in slow motion and attempted to get up but by that time my full weight was on his back and he was pinned to the floor. The audience was screaming. No one was going to have a voice in the morning. Their excitement gave him a surge of adrenaline and he was actually able to get one knee underneath himself and push us up off the floor about half an inch. I used the strength that I had been saving all night to force him back down. In a foolish lurch, he got an arm out from underneath him and tried to land a backwards punch. As I grabbed his arm just below his elbow I felt a sickening snap. All I meant to do was stop the punch but Crusher’s arm was broken and the last bit of strength in his body was gone.
The audience was all on their feet and complete chaos ensued. I could see Sam grinning at me and giving me a thumbs-up sign as the referee lifted me off Sandoval and held my arm up to the crowd. Sandoval’s guys and the EMTs with their gurney in tow were rushing in to help him as he lay writhing in the middle of the floor. I could see the big bouncer security guys trying to hold the crowd back so that I could get out of the cage. As I stepped out I saw a sight for my sore eyes, it was Emmi, waiting just behind one of the big guys.
“She’s with me,” I told him as I reached behind him and pulled her forward. She threw her arms around me, which hurt a bit. But once her lips pressed against mine, the pain was all forgotten.
When she pulled back she said, “Good fight…I love you, Braxton.”
It wasn’t the first time I had ever heard it. Lots of young girls mixed up love and sex. The difference was, it didn’t mean anything then and it meant everything now. Emmi loved me. I pulled her in for another kiss. Everyone and everything around us faded into nothingness as I pulled her lips close to mine.
“Do you mind repeating that?” I breathed into her.
She smiled. “I said, I love you.”
I finished the kiss, and damn was it good.
CHAPTER SEVEN
EMMI
“So you’re coming to the party tonight, right?” Zoe asked me as we walked home from the warehouse after the fight.
“Mm, I don’t know.” I wasn’t sure I was in the mood for a sorority house full of pretty girls and horny guys. I was in a good mood…no, make that a great mood, but I was hoping to just go home and wait for Braxton to get there.
“But Braxton went out with his friends.” Zoe pouted.
“He went out to celebrate with his team, but they won’t be gone long and I’d really like to be there when he gets home.”
“Come on, Em. Leave him a note and come hang out with me for a while.”
I wanted to be a good friend.
“Okay,” I agreed with a sigh. She wasn’t going to let up on me until I did anyways.
Zoe got a devious look on her face. “I heard you tell him you loved him tonight.”
I felt my face go hot. “Yeah. I can’t even describe how he makes me feel, Zoe. It’s better than I felt with Trent, better than anything I’ve ever felt. My life is so good right now which is weird for me. I’m passing all of my classes with “A’s”, the paper, in spite of Sarah’s mini-obsession with Braxton is using all of my photographs, and I’m in love. And he loves me too.”
I could feel my face stretching wide from the smile. It was like I was walking around with a coat hanger in my mouth, but I couldn’t help it, I couldn’t stop, I was happier than I could ever remember being.
“That’s good,” Zoe said smiling. “I’m happy for you guys.”
“Thank you,” I squealed. “I’m happy for us too. I just need to stop by the apartment to change and leave him a note, okay?”
“Okay,” Zoe agreed, knowing that if she didn’t, I just wouldn’t go.
When we got to the apartment I changed. When I came out of the bedroom I went to Braxton’s desk to get a piece of paper to write him a note. I was still smiling that big, stupid grin when I saw it. I had opened his biology book, the top one in a stack of books because I saw paper sticking out the top. It took me a few seconds to process what I was really seeing. It was the MMA contract, but it was flipped to the last page and it was signed…by Braxton.
I was in a mild form of shock for a few seconds. Zoe must have noticed that I had frozen because she was standing behind me and she said, “What’s wrong, Em?”
I had just told her how perfect things were and how in love I was. I wasn’t prepared to tell her that he was already lying to me…not yet. I sucked in a lungful of air and turned around.
“I just remembered that I have to upload some photos for Sarah. She needs them tonight.”
“What? It’s almost ten. We’re going to miss the whole party.”
“Why don’t you go on without me and if I get done in time, I’ll meet you there,” I told her.
She pouted again and then asked, “Are you going to at least try to show up?”
“I’ll try,” I lied. I would explain it to her later, I hated lying to her, but I just didn’t have the energy to do it.
“Okay, call me,” she said.
I gave her a hug and thanked her for coming to the fight. Then, I walked her to the door, locked it behind her and had a complete breakdown in the hallway. When I saw the contract an unsettling feeling of tenseness had settled down into my muscles. I suddenly felt tight all over and my chest felt heavy, like something was sitting on it when I tried to breathe.
I pictured Braxton in the cage with some muscle-bound guy trying to pound him silly. I pictured what his face looked like after his last fight. I pictured the sick feeling I saw him get on his face tonight when he broke the other guy’s arm. This was going to be his life…mine, if I stayed with him.
I was gulping breaths and I knew I was hyperventilating. I needed to regulate my breathing before I ended up passing out. I tried to remember if we had any paper bags, but my brain was foggy and I couldn’t reach through the fog to grasp at the memory of where I may have put them. I tried to find something in my head that I could wrap myself around besides being mentally tormented by the thoughts of Braxton lying to me, me telling him I loved him, and him getting beaten up every week of his life for who knows how long?
It was a terrible feeling when I couldn’t take
hold of my own mind-set. My mind was running a thousand miles a minute, but refusing to focus on anything, except my problems with Braxton. My breathing was becoming shallower and my stomach had begun to churn. I could taste bile in the back of my throat. I looked down at the hands in my lap and I could see them trembling. I wondered if Braxton would care if he saw me like this or would he think I was overreacting the way I had about the kiss. Would he regret lying to me?
The thought of him lying to me was the worst part of it all. I was taken back to Trent and his lies. I had to wonder if I was destined to spend my life with men who said they loved me, but really did nothing of that kind. That thought did nothing for the state of my breathing and as it got worse, I started to panic. I tried willing myself to relax.
I even began rocking myself back and forth and saying out loud, “Relax, just relax, take a deep breath, now let it out.”
Why couldn't I breathe? Oh God, I couldn’t breathe. Just relax, just relax, and breathe in slowly, Emmi. Don’t gulp the air. Take a long, slow breath.
My thoughts wouldn’t let go though, they wouldn’t let me relax. Instead of confidently telling myself that I was going to be okay, I started saying I couldn’t. I couldn’t stop thinking that he lied. I couldn’t stop remembering that I told him I loved him and he said that he loved me too. I was having a war in my head. The sane portion of me was the one chanting the motto to get me to relax and breathe, and the panic stricken side was screaming at me that it wasn’t working!
I sat there, with my back against the front door in the dark hallway and I felt like I was going to die.
CHAPTER EIGHT
BRAXTON
Sam, me and a couple of the other guys from the tournament met at Lou’s. It was Sam’s favorite place to go for beer since on Friday nights Lou sold it by the pitcher for only three bucks. We didn’t have to worry about it though, it seemed like everyone who had been at the fight was there and we weren’t paying for a thing.
Sam ordered another pitcher of beer when Scottie got there. We’d been sitting in the bar for over an hour and I’d been high-fived, bumped up and back-slapped about a hundred times. It was cool being the hero, and I didn’t have to pay for my beer. Yet all I could really think about was getting home to Emmi. She told me that she loved me and that meant a new chapter of my life was about to begin. I had no fear, no anxiety and no regrets about it. I couldn’t wait and that was how I knew she was the right one. I knew that as long as she loved me, the rest of it would fall into place.
“So, kid, did you bring my contract?” Scottie asked me, interrupting my thoughts.
I took a long swig of my beer. I pictured the contract lying where I had left it on my desk after I signed it.
Then I said, “No, I actually wanted to talk to you about that—” He wasn’t finished talking yet though.
“I couldn’t believe it when I heard that guy’s arm pop tonight. I was sitting two rows out and I actually heard it. It was like…Snap…Crackle….Pop!! Crusher my ass. More like Crushee!”
It was funny that he was so excited about that. He was actually grinning ear to ear, talking about some guy’s career basically being over. It was going to take a long time for that to heal and when it did, I doubted he would ever be as fast as he was before. I felt bad about that. That was the one part of the whole night that actually made me cringe. I wasn’t shy about the fighting, inflicting punishment with my fists. When it was hit or be hit, kick or be kicked, I liked being good. I wanted to be the best, but I never wanted to feel someone’s bone snap in my hands again…ever. It was especially bad because I just kept thinking about how damn fast he was and how that was a big advantage for him in the cage. I got a chill just hearing Scottie talk about it like it was nothing. I had broken other guy’s noses, cheek bones and orbital sockets before, but for some reason the crunch of that guy’s bone while I held it in my hand was just too much. I didn’t want to think about it. I started to open my mouth again about the contract.
“I told you he was amazing,” Sam said, stopping any audible noise from coming from my mouth. A large grin was plastered on his face with his chest puffed out. He did do a lot for me, but from the look on his face you would think he gave birth to me.
“That you did, Sam. Everything you said was right on. Natural talent with your teaching has made this kid into a fighting machine,” Scottie told him. He turned back toward me and said, “That audience tonight thought you were losing that fight. They were waiting for that guy to beat you down. Not me though. I could see that passion in your eyes. I know you’re too young to remember the Rocky movies, but that’s what it felt like to me. You were not leaving that ring a loser. I didn’t doubt for a second that you were going to come back. Damn! That was a good fight. Listening to the crowd cheer for Crusher and call you a pussy and the whole time you had it in your pocket. I’ll bet a whole bunch of people lost a whole lotta money tonight betting against you. I’ll also bet that doesn’t happen again. Next time all of the money will be on you.”
“Thanks,” I told him. “About that contract though.”
“What does your girl think of all this?” Sam said with a wink and a grin. “I’ll bet she’s thrilled. Suddenly her boyfriend is a famous MMA fighter. Hopefully she’s not the jealous type though, girls are already crawling all over you. Once you sign on with the MMA you’ll have to beat them off with a stick.”
“Can I talk now? Please?” I said, more sharply than I had meant to.
They were so fired up that I couldn’t get them to listen to what I needed to say and it was annoying. Kind of flattering, but annoying just the same. They were both looking at me, wide-eyed, wondering what was up my ass I’m sure.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap,” I said. “But I need to tell you that as much as I appreciate your offer and as much as I am truly flattered by it, I have to say no thank you.”
It was like time in the bar suddenly stood still. They were both staring at me with their mouths open, thinking that someone must have spiked my beer.
“What?” Sam finally asked.
“It’s not what I want to do with my life. It’s never been what I wanted to do. This all started out as me wanting to get into shape and build some confidence in myself. I did both of those things. I want to finish out this tournament, take the number one spot and then I want to be done.”
“Braxton, do you realize what you’re saying, what you would be giving up?” Sam asked. I actually felt bad about Sam, like I was doing this to him. He really did teach me everything I knew and I knew that he had dreams of being a trainer to someone who fought in the MMA. I had to keep reminding myself that I never let him believe that was an option for me. I told him from the start how I felt about it.
“Yeah, Sam, I do. It’s a great offer and I’m sorry for the part you’ll be losing out on too, I really am. It’s just not going to be enough to make me happy making my living beating people up or getting beat up. I have a pretty good head on my shoulders and I think…no, I’m sure that I’ll be able to use it to make a pretty decent living someday. I don’t want to end up like some of these old boxers you see who can barely put two sentences together because of how many times they’ve been beat in the head over the years. I’ve thought about it a lot, I really have, and I’m sure it’s not how I want to spend my life.”
“Do you want more money?” Scottie asked. “A longer contract, a shorter contract?”
I sighed, frustrated. He and Sam just couldn’t believe that as good as I was at this I didn’t want it to be my life.
“No,” I told him. “I don’t want any money. I’ve made a lot of cash already, enough to do what I wanted to do with it. Your offer was more than generous. I just don’t want to do it.”
“Is this because of the new girlfriend? Is she discouraging you from doing this?” Sam wanted to know. His big bushy eyebrows were scrunched together in the middle like he was ready to say something bad about her if I said yes. It made me angry even though he didn’t
say it. I felt like he was thinking Emmi was some kind of manipulative bitch who was out to destroy my life by making me change my life for her. Not that it was their business, but I would. If she asked me, I’d change my life for her. She didn’t ask me though. This was my decision.
“No, this has nothing to do with Emmi, Sam. It’s about me. I never wanted to do this forever and you know that. I told you that a long time ago before I even met Emmi. Sometimes you only hear what you want to. You guys don’t have to look for someone to blame here. This is all me.”
“Braxton, if you turn this offer down, I won’t bring it back to you again. It’s a one shot deal so be very, very sure you know what you’re doing when you say no. I have a job to do and the second I know for sure you’re not taking this, I have to start looking for someone else.”
“I understand that and I appreciate your patience and you giving me a few days to think it over. I’m not going to change my mind though and call you back in a week. I’m sure about this. You can consider me out of it now and do what you have to do.”
Sam looked like he wanted to cry, Scottie was shaking his head like he just couldn’t believe it and me…I was happy to know that I was good enough for them to offer. I was thrilled that I had the sense of believing in myself and knowing I could do whatever I put my mind to in spite of my upbringing. Even with all of that in my head, I was mostly just ecstatic about Emmi telling me that she loved me.
Speaking of Emmi, I’d had enough beer and slaps on the back for the night. I told a sad Sam and a shocked Scottie thank you and good night, and I got up to go home and see her.
As I started to walk away Sam said, “We’re still working out on schedule?”
“Yeah, as long as nothing has changed for you, nothing’s changed for me either where you and I and the rest of this tournament are concerned.”
“Have a good night, kid.”
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