The Ex Effect

by Karla Sorensen

  Maybe thinking wouldn't be a bad thing. Thinking was something I could do.

  "Do you want me to whip up some breakfast?" I asked with a casual smile. Or at least I hoped it was casual. "I didn't poke around your cupboards too much, but I can make a mean omelet."

  She laughed and ducked her head. "You don't need to do that."

  Okay then. Of course, I didn't need to. But that didn't mean I didn't want to.

  I pulled on my T-shirt. “Frankie can vouch for my culinary skills. He devoured those flakes pretty quick.”

  Her smile was bigger this time. "You met my famous pet, huh?"

  "He's handsome. Not all men can pull off that shade of blue."

  Ava rolled her eyes but still laughed. "Thanks."

  The word—preceded by a slight, loaded pause—felt weighted in significance. So was the way she held my eyes when she said it. I wasn't sure what she was thanking me for, but I took a chance, leaned down, and kissed her on the top of the head.

  "Anytime, Slim." I tucked my phone in my pants and lifted my hand. "I'll let myself out."

  She gestured awkwardly to her lap. "Good, because I'm not wearing underwear."

  I was still laughing when I walked out the door.

  Yeah, everything about this felt good. It was enough that I knew I wouldn't need to do much thinking. I already wanted more.

  Chapter Eleven

  Ava

  "What can I get you ladies to drink?"

  Allie and Paige immediately piped up, prosecco for one and gin and tonic for the other.

  I sighed and looked up at the smiling waitress with puppy dog eyes. "Just water for now, please."

  "Gross," Paige muttered as the waitress walked away.

  "What's gross about water?"

  She lifted her eyebrows like I was stupid. "It's girls’ night. You don't drink water on girls’ night."

  Allie stifled a grin but didn't say anything. A group of swaggering college boys slowed to an obviously sluggish pace as they passed our table, one of them making a kissy face at Paige.

  I rolled my eyes.

  Of course, they would. I was sitting at a table with two of the most beautiful women in the entire world.

  Paige gave him an assessing look, crooking her finger to beckon him closer. Allie raised one perfectly manicured eyebrow.

  The kid swallowed, his bravado faltering when she actually responded. Couldn't blame him.

  "H-Hey," he said when he was at our table. Smooth. Really smooth.

  "What's your name?" Paige asked, eyes big and round in her porcelain face. Her expression was guileless, but I knew her well enough that this poor little baby boy was about to have his balls shrunken in like a bucket of ice down his pants.

  His friends whistled and hooted, Allie sighed quietly, and I watched with my chin perched in my hand.

  "Uh, it's, uh, Cade."

  "Uh-Cade? Or just Cade?"

  God bless him, he puffed out his chest and stood tall. "Cade."

  Paige held out her hand, and he shook it. Softly, tentatively, like a little baby kitten. She pursed her lips when he dropped it back to his side. I could feel a laugh bubbling up my throat, but I swallowed it down. Yes, girls’ night was a good idea. The perfect distraction when I spent all day cleaning my apartment obsessively after practically shoving Matthew out the door.

  "Cade," she said, leaning forward on the table. His eyes darted down to her chest and then back up to her face. "I could be married, I could be gay, or I could be single but so anti-men that just that one uninvited gesture from you could send me into a homicidal rage, and you just wouldn't know until it was too late."

  He glanced at me, and I shrugged one shoulder. His eyes moved nervously back to Paige. "Okay?"

  "I'm going to give you a bit of advice," she whispered. "If you find a woman attractive and are interested in getting to know more about her, just walk up like a man who knows what he wants. Tell her your name and ask her what hers is. Don't make shit-heel kissy faces and assume that will do anything except make you look like a chump who's still waiting for his chest hair to grow in."

  Poor Cade. The color drained from his face except for two bright red spots on his baby face.

  "Got it," he said and turned to walk back to his snickering friends.

  Paige cleared her throat. "Hang on." She motioned to our waitress, who hurried over. He shuffled to the side to allow her some room. "I'd like to buy Cade his next round because he's going to take this as a valuable life lesson, one that will help him immensely in his future."

  "Sure thing," she said, giving Cade a pitying glance.

  "Thanks," he muttered and followed the waitress back to his friends, who were now chortling with glee.

  "I hate college boys," Paige said under her breath.

  "Aww, he had the cojones to come over here," Allie told her. "That's gotta count for something."

  "Plus," I interjected, "not all college boys are assholes."

  Naturally, as it had all day, my mind skittered back to Matthew. Matthew in my bed. Matthew bringing me coffee wearing black boxer briefs. Glory, glory, hallelujah, I'd remember that image as I took my final breaths on earth. Then to Matthew when I first knew him, polite and kind, understanding of the shittiness of my parents when most guys wouldn't have paid any attention to me. No, Matthew hadn't been that kind of college boy.

  He was the guy who made sure I had a Hawkins shirt to wear when Stanford played in a bowl game his junior year, and our whole family attended because his parents couldn’t make it.

  He was the guy who asked me how school was.

  If I wanted to play catch in the backyard.

  "And she's back in outer space," Allie said, snapping her fingers in front of my face.

  I sighed before taking a long drink of my water.

  "Sorry."

  Paige gave me a curious look. "Geez, what happened with you and Hawkins?"

  I choked on a piece of ice, coughing obnoxiously until the people behind her turned to see if I was okay. I waved them off.

  Allie chuckled. "I love this. The only time I've ever seen this woman remotely frazzled was the day he showed up. Until Matthew Hawkins walked down that hallway to her office, she was the unflappable one." She wiped a fake tear from her eye, and I flipped her my middle finger. "It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

  "I'm not frazzled," I argued, wiping a chunk of ice off the side of my face like an absolutely frazzled woman.

  She patted my hand in the most condescending way possible. "Mmkay."

  "So what is it about this guy?" Paige asked. "Besides the obvious."

  With twitchy, restless fingers, I started shredding a napkin as my thoughts whirled furiously in my head. Without making eye contact, I gave them a brief rundown of what happened yesterday. They awwed about the chocolate factory, then fell into hushed silence when I told them about the drinks and the cab ride back to my place. Allie only squealed once when I mumbled something like, and then we had two epic rounds of sex in my bed, the end.

  "So what's the problem?" Paige asked.

  I sighed heavily, scooping up the tiny pieces of white paper and forming a little mountain next to my water. "I don't even know what happened. I don’t even know how to do this anymore.” Dropping my head into my hands, I could barely look at them as I struggled to define what my problem had been. “One minute, I'm falling asleep praying he'll still be there in the morning because I wanted him to be there in the morning. But once he brought me coffee, I started thinking about how insane we must be to even think about attempting this. Whatever this is."

  "Ava, honey, I don't think it's insane," Allie said gently.

  "Yeah?" My eyebrows popped up on my head as I lifted my fingers to tick off all the reasons why. "I've never ever crossed that line with one of the players, and he's only been here for a couple of weeks. He's got a short-term contract and a life in New Orleans he's been building for a decade. He was engaged to my sister, for crying out loud, the sister I cannot s
tand, so what am I supposed to do when I show up at my parents' house for Christmas? Surprise! Here's that guy who was once going to marry your favorite daughter until she cheated on him, and now I'm banging him. Can you please pass the mashed potatoes?" I smacked the table, and they jumped. "Except we don't have mashed potatoes at Christmas because heaven forbid Ashley put a single gram of carbs in her body lest she bloat. Yeah, let's just imagine that happy family gathering."

  Like gorgeous twin images in front of me, their mouths hung open and their eyes were wide in their faces. So I'd ranted a bit.

  I sank my head into my hands again and stared unblinkingly at the black surface of the table. "For some reason, I could ignore all those things until he walked back into my bedroom. And I didn't want to let any of that get to me, but here I am. Not with him because we're both supposed to be thinking about what we want next."

  "I'm so sorry, Ava," Allie said. "None of this is easy."

  Paige snorted. "Sure, it is."

  I lifted my head, narrowing my eyes at her. "How so?"

  "First off, cart before horse much? You spent one night with him. Christmas isn't for another six months, and so what if he has a history with your family? Your family sounds like a bunch of assholes. Why would you base your life happiness off them? Why are you even overthinking it this much? You like him. He likes you. The sex was good. I say keep doing it while it is and while you still like each other. The end."

  She made it sound so easy. Partially because those were all completely rational thoughts. Those had a way of sounding easy.

  "The end," I repeated slowly, watching a line of condensation trickle down the side of my glass. "It's my job to overthink, you know? It's my job to consider every angle of how things could go wrong or sound bad to the audience, whoever that might be. It's hard to shut that off in my personal life. Not that I've had much practice since college," I mumbled. “Which is also part of the problem. I’m dating defunct.”

  "Do you think Matthew is the type to overthink this too?" Allie asked.

  All I could do was lift my shoulders in a helpless shrug. "He could be. I know him but not in this way. I don't really know what relationship Matthew is like."

  "And he doesn't know what relationship Ava is like," Allie pointed out.

  "True." I took a sip of my water. "I don’t know what relationship Ava is like anymore. She hasn't shown her face for a few years."

  "So can't you guys just ... play it casual? If it's working, keep seeing each other, but don't put all this family pressure on it right away before you even know if relationship Ava and relationship Matthew make sense together?" Paige asked.

  Putting Matthew in any slot labeled casual felt strange at first, but maybe I was looking at this all wrong. There wasn't any reason to have some big serious talk about his past with Ashley, or my family, because they were a non-issue at the moment. They'd only become an issue if I let them, and I had no intention of that happening.

  Paige leaned forward. "I'm basically telling you to avoid the drama right now. You're making this so much harder than it needs to be."

  She wasn't wrong. I laughed when I caught sight of her pleased expression. "You have an awful lot of advice for someone without a boyfriend."

  "Well, shit," Paige said. She slumped in her chair and gave me a sympathetic look. "That's probably why I'm single."

  Allie snorted. "You're single because you eat men alive, and most of them run scared as soon as you open your mouth."

  She smiled, unrepentant and stunningly scary. "True."

  Turning to me, Allie smiled. "Listen, just talk to him. He seems like a reasonable guy, and he's clearly feeling the same magic sex juju that you are."

  For the first time all night, I felt those happy flutters. The flutters I got when he hugged me in my office. The flutters I got when he ate my chocolate and grinned at me. The flutters I got when he slid his big hand up my leg and touched his tongue to mine with zero hesitation.

  There was no reason to make this harder than it was.

  I drummed my fingers on the table and stared at them. "Ladies, I adore you, but I'm going to break a cardinal rule and ditch girls’ night."

  Paige pouted, but I could tell she wasn't serious. Allie wiggled excitedly in her seat. "Are you going to his place?"

  I looked down at my outfit. Casual, cute, but a girls’ night outfit. "I'm going to change first." Then gave them a pointed look. "I'm wearing comfy underwear."

  "Ahh," they both said in understanding.

  "Good luck," Allie called after I blew them a kiss and hopped out of my chair.

  By the time I made it back to my apartment, flew through the lobby, and let myself into my place, twenty minutes had passed. My phone had remained silent, but then again, I hadn't texted him either. My plan was all centered around him being home, thinking very sexy, fluttery thoughts about me, and that made me pause before I stripped my shirt off.

  What if his thinking was done before he even got back to his place? It could've been easy for him. Eh, that was fun, but it's too complicated for an already complicated season of my life.

  I sank down onto the edge of my bed. I wasn't used to so many insecurities shouting in my head. Damn it, Matthew Hawkins and his perfectness.

  No, I thought with a smile. He wasn't perfect. Nobody was. This was my chance to find out what his flaws were.

  I grabbed my phone and tapped out a text.

  Me: Are you at home?

  Almost instantly, three little gray dots bounced on the screen. I bit down on a grin. Yup. Flutters were abundant.

  Matthew Hawkins: I'm not. Are you?

  Like a dying flower, I wilted. Good thing I hadn't stripped yet. With a sigh, I replied back that I was.

  Matthew Hawkins: Good. I'm about to knock on your door.

  I shrieked, glancing frantically at my closet, then down at where my comfy underwear was underneath my jeans. At my door, there was a firm knock. Like a general about to head into battle, I stood and marched to the door. Only pausing to take a fortifying breath and smooth my ponytail, I opened the door to find him leaning a shoulder against the doorframe.

  He looked so good. So good. Wearing dark jeans on this thick, long legs and a white Wolves T-shirt over his broad chest, he was beyond tempting, and I wanted to lick him from head to toe. Twice. And on his face was a happy smile. Aimed at me.

  Mimicking his stance, I leaned my shoulder against the opposite side of the door. "Hi."

  "Can I come in?"

  I rolled my lips between my teeth and moved back. Before he said a word, I inhaled deeply while he passed. His scent was so potent, I wasn't sure my comfy underwear hadn't already completely disintegrated.

  I leaned against the closed door. Matthew leaned against the back of my couch, and we smiled at each other like fools.

  "Did you do your thinking yet?" he asked.

  I nodded slowly. "You?"

  Tension snapped, crackled, and popped while teeny explosions went off as his eyes tracked down the length of my body. This wasn't any little flutter. He was incinerating me without laying a single finger on my skin.

  "I did." He spread his arms and gripped the back edge of the couch.

  Neither of us moved.

  "And?" I asked, my voice husky and all sex operator-esque. His eyes darkened, turning into a warm amber color I hadn't seen yet. Oh, I liked his eyes like that. I'd forever think of them as Matthew's sex eyes.

  "I know there are reasons we could leave last night as it stands," he said. I licked my lips, suddenly unsure of what might come out of his mouth next. He inhaled deeply, his chest stretching the measly cotton confines of his shirt. "But to me, they're not good enough. I want more, Ava."

  Long before it touched my face, I felt the smile down in my belly. That was where all the good smiles started because it warmed my entire body before it ever curled my lips.

  "That so?" I asked, slowly walking in his direction. I saw the knuckles on his hands turn white as he gripped the couch fra
me.

  "Yeah."

  "Good." I wedged myself between his thighs and smoothed my hands up his chest. Still, he didn't touch me. "Because I came home to change so I could come to you and tell you that I was thinking the same thing."

  He didn't smile, but the skin around his eyes crinkled like they did when he was happy. Maybe his smile was starting in his belly too.

  Finally, his big hands curled around my hips and pulled me flush against him. He was already hard for me. I was just as ready from only a few seconds of his hands on my body.

  He slid his hand from my hip, up my back and down again, playing with the edge of my shirt until I felt his fingers brush my skin. It was meant to be comforting, but it was inciting enough that I closed my eyes against the sudden flare of heat. How had I gone my entire life without feeling like this? One slide of his hands and I was ready to burn my clothes off just to feel more of him.

  Grabbing his arms, I pulled them around me even tighter, giving him no choice but to wrap me in a crushing embrace. I pushed my nose into his neck and breathed him in. His hands slid down underneath my pants until he was palming my bottom in both hands.

  Wriggling my hips even closer to him, I started thinking of all the places we could start. The couch with me on top. The kitchen table with him behind. Oh! The wall. Yes. I liked that idea.

  Then I gasped and pulled back. His hands remained on my flesh, but his face was drawn with concern.

  "What?"

  I covered my face with one hand and laughed. "Sorry, that was an overreaction." I peeked at him through my spread fingers. "I just ... I'm wearing comfy underwear. I meant to change before I saw you."

  He bit back his smile, started moving his hands so that his knuckles brushed against the offending garment. "Yeah?"

  I nodded miserably.

  "The big cotton kind that covers you from your belly button down?"

  I smacked his chest. "Shut up."

  His booming laugh was worth my embarrassment, though, even as I dropped my forehead against his shoulder.