ROCK STAR

by Daiko, SC

  The mattress dipped as I laid us both down, spooning around her and gazing into her eyes. “I love how you taste too, Firebird.”

  “And I love you, Axel. So. Fucking. Much.”

  We kissed until I was ready for her again. I slipped my fingers into her and smiled when I found she was also ready for me.

  I reached for a condom from the bedside table, sheathed myself and pulled her on top of me.

  She eased herself down until I was fully inside.

  And we made love slowly, sensuously, beautifully, until we came together in waves of pleasure that left us both gasping.

  I stroked my hands up her sides. “You are my goddess, Phoenix. My beautiful angel. I’m so fucking unworthy of you.”

  She kissed my lips. “Before you, I was empty. I never imagined anyone could make me feel the way you do.”

  “How do I make you feel?” I whispered.

  She laced her arms around my shoulders. “Complete. You complete me.”

  I kissed her deeply. “You’ve given me back my life,” I breathed. “I want us to be together forever.”

  She nuzzled my neck. “Let’s just take things one day at a time, honey.”

  My chest squeezed. She was worried about the future… I knew she was. Finding out who Ella was seeing. Us coming out to the band. Her mum’s illness. Achieving her ambitions.

  “We’ll work it out,” I said, deliberately making myself sound confident. “I promise you.”

  I held her tight.

  I don’t want to ever let her go.

  I woke alone in my bed… Firebird had gone back to her suite in the early hours. One day we’d wake up together, I hoped.

  In my house in the Hills.

  Holding that thought, I showered, ordered room service, then availed myself of the Langham’s fitness studio for a workout with Zach and Rhys.

  Phoenix had gone with Camila and Hayley to hit the shops in Bond Street, she’d messaged me, and I’d messaged back not to ask for info about Kimberly until I’d spoken to the guys.

  Best they heard about Ella from me first.

  Before too long, it was time to leave for Wembley for our sound check. Jake and Foxy would be meeting us there, and afterward, before the concert, I planned on calling a band meeting and telling them what Mum had said.

  Firebird and I set off with the guys in a Ford SUV with tinted windows. Camila and Hayley followed in a minibus with the backline boys.

  “Did you buy anything nice?” I asked Phoenix.

  “Camila got me another sparkly dress,” she smiled. “I’m not into designer fashion, but it was fun riding on the Underground.”

  We fell into silence in front of the others. I knew she was enjoying looking out at the red buses and busy streets. Excitement, nerves and elation spiraled through me. Playing Wembley was the culmination of years of hard work.

  As if on cue, Rhys and Zach suddenly started singing, “WEMBER-LEEE, WEM-BERLEE!” as if it was a football chant and I joined in with them.

  Phoenix gave us a look like we’d lost our minds.

  “Wembley Stadium, Firebird! Where they play the FA Cup Final! Wembley is the fucking shit. You can see it from space. Even Americans have heard of it, right?”

  “If you’re a football fan—what you Yanks call soccer— or a rock ’n’ roll lover, Wembley is knitted into your psyche from such a young age there’s just no escape,” Rhys added.

  “Yeah.” Zach leaned forward in his seat. “It’s like a billion childhood dreams come true. Young footballers and musicians all imagine their full-grown selves playing for a packed house at Wembley Stadium.”

  Firebird held up her hands and laughed. “Okay. I get it. I get it. It would be like playing at the Superdome in Louisiana, I guess.”

  I stared up at the blue sky, crisscrossed with airplane vapor trails. A few more minutes of heavy traffic, and then… fuck me, there it was. The massive arch towering over the structure had come into view.

  We piled out of the car—Mike and Joe standing like sentries—and strode into the belly of the beast. Down a ramp, up another, through the scaffolding and… whoa, look at that.

  The feeling was completely surreal, as if I’d landed on the moon. The stage was familiar—it had travelled with us throughout the tour—but the magnitude of Wembley blew me away. With a seating capacity of ninety thousand and a sliding roof, this was the largest fully covered football stadium in the fucking world. And the pitch had been protected with panels to provide standing space for an additional twenty-five thousand. Amazing!

  “Wow! Just… wow! Wembley!” Firebird shrilled from where she was standing next to me.

  Jake came up to us. “Time to get the show on the road with those sound checks,” he bossed. “Chop. Chop.”

  “I need to call a band meeting before the concert,” I said to him with determination in my voice, “There’s something I want to tell you.”

  He whirled on me. “Is it important?”

  “Yes, it fucking well is.”

  19

  After our sound check, I joined in the band meeting. It wasn’t the first one I’d attended…ChiMera had included me in every meeting since Paris. We rode the elevator up to the Royal Box after Jake had gotten the keys from security. It felt weird to be sitting where Princes William and Harry had perched their asses to watch the annual UK equivalent of the Super Bowl—which Brits called American football—but Jake said we’d be away from prying eyes and ears up here.

  “What’s so fucking important that it can’t wait?” he muttered. “You should all be relaxing before the show.”

  Axel glared at him. “I know that, but there’s something I wanted to say.”

  He then told everyone what his mom had revealed.

  Shock reverberated around the box. The guys leapt out of their seats, mouths falling open.

  “Who the fuck?” Foxy exclaimed, tipping his head to the side.

  “Yeah,” Zach echoed. “Any idea who Ella was seeing?”

  “My guess is that Kimberly was having a relationship with my sister,” Axel growled.

  “Do you have any evidence for that?” Jake’s tone was sharp.

  Foxy twirled the drumstick that never left his hand. “Axel said it was a guess, bro’.”

  “What reason did Kimberly give for quitting?” Axel shot Jake a stern look.

  Jake gave a curt nod. “She said she wanted to work permanently in the theater. Said that touring and living out of a suitcase for months on end wasn’t for her.”

  “Seems like a reasonable enough reason to me,” Rhys spoke for the first time.

  “We all know how stressful being on the road can be,” Zach added.

  Axel grabbed a fistful of his own hair and pulled at it. “It’s fucking killing me not knowing who Ella was with…”

  How I wanted to gather him in my arms and soothe him.

  Later, Phoenix. Later…

  I turned to Jake. “Did Kimberly leave her contact details? Maybe you could get in touch with her…”

  “And ask if she was in a relationship with Ella?” He shook his head. “Not sure I can do that. It wouldn’t be professional…”

  “If you won’t, I will,” Axel snarled. “Ella was my SISTER.”

  Foxy leapt out of his seat and grabbed Axel’s shoulders. “You gotta calm down, mate,” he said softly. “Get yourself into the right mindset for tonight’s gig.” He checked his watch. “The crowd will start arriving soon.”

  The guys and I all surrounded Axel in a group hug like we did before we went on stage.

  The others were looking up at him… although tall, they were shorter by a couple inches. He looked down and I caught his eye, caught the pain there. I mouthed the words, I love you.

  “I suggest we adjourn this meeting until after Glastonbury.” Jake stepped away from us. “All in favor say ‘aye’.”

  “Aye,” we repeated resignedly.

  What else could we do?

  As Foxy said, we needed to prepare for t
onight’s concert. Vanilla Sky were due to kick off at six thirty and we’d be on at eight.

  We rode down to the ground floor and, with a heavy heart, I went to my allocated dressing area.

  The guys had a routine of playing video games in their room whenever we had a sound check before a show, which was only ever the first night, and I would Skype call my parents in mine.

  My stomach churned. God, I hoped what just went down wouldn’t throw cold water on tonight’s concert. Axel had been so freaking stoked to play Wembley.

  Thea and I were sharing a separate part of the soccer teams’ dressing room to the guys.

  Normally, she’d have gotten ready in Vanilla Sky’s bus, but she and her bandmates were Londoners and staying with their families here. After tomorrow’s concert, their contribution to the tour would be over. ChiMera would travel to the Glastonbury Festival on the weekend, our last gig, then fly back to the States.

  My contract would end after they’d recorded their next album. I sucked in a breath… I would have to start looking for a band needing a female lead singer after that. Even if they wanted me, I didn’t wanna continue touring and singing backup for ChiMera. I’d achieved recognition now. Katy Perry, Mariah Carey, Sheryl Crow and P!nk had all sung backup before making it on their own. I owed it to myself to at least try.

  I stepped into the screened-off area. Thea was still putting on her makeup. She smiled at my reflection in the mirror and lifted her hand. “Guess who’s just gotten engaged?” she said, showing me a beautiful diamond solitaire ring.

  “Wow, congratulations,” I gave her a hug.

  “My boyfriend missed me so much while I was away that he popped the question.” She smoothed down her jeans. “God, I’m so scared to go out in front of all those people.” Her voice wobbled. “I mean, Wembley is the biggest, baddest, bossest stadium of them all…”

  “You’ll ace it,” I injected confidence into my voice. “You’re amazing.”

  “Thanks,” she said. “I’ll be watching ChiMera afterward and making a video for your parents.”

  It was what she always did for me from the roadies’ section in front, and I couldn’t thank her enough. “I’ll stand offstage and catch the end of your gig,” I told her. “Enjoy!”

  “Will do.” She gave a thumbs up.

  I took my iPad from my shoulder bag. As soon as I got home to LA, hopefully Mom would have her stem cell transplant. She was being bombarded with chemo at the moment to kill off the majority of cancer cells. Once that was achieved, she’d be matched to a suitable donor. I drew my eyebrows together and placed the Skype call.

  “Hi, Sweetie,” Mom answered right away.

  “How are you?” I asked, my heart thudding.

  “Fine,” she smiled. “It’s all going according to plan. I will have a bone marrow biopsy tomorrow and will probably need another round of chemo.”

  “Okay,” I said. “Good luck. I’ll be home next week. Can’t wait to see you…”

  “And us you.” Dad’s face came onto the screen. “Hope the concert goes well tonight.”

  “Thea is recording it for you both… I’d better sign off. Hayley will be here soon to help me dress.”

  “Bye’, sweetie, love you,” Mom said and Dad echoed her.

  I disconnected the call. Tears spilled from my eyes and down my cheeks. I wiped them away and sniffed.

  The show sped by like a fast train, unstoppable and unbeatable. The stadium stretched up and away from the stage and catwalk, making me feel so small in front of such a massive crowd. I listened to Axel singing ‘London Lovers’ through my in-ear monitors, harmonizing with him while Zach took over the bass and my rock god did his thing on the catwalk. He’d released the phenomenon that was Axel Wainwright and the entire stadium adored him.

  Out on that runway, pyrotechnics exploding around him, he jumped, he sang, and he touched the life of everyone here. He spread his arms up toward the top of the bleachers. Every single person in the audience thought that he was singing to them personally, and they were right. It was how he connected with them. Watching him in full concert mode took my breath.

  He was on fire.

  Burning like a thousand suns.

  And I, like everyone here, was helplessly in his orbit.

  The other band members were at the top of their game, too.

  Zach’s hands floated effortlessly on the keyboards, never dropping a note.

  Foxy’s body pulsed with the effort of drumming.

  Rhys let the music rip out of him, shredding his guitar like a madman.

  It.

  Was.

  Freaking.

  Awesome.

  Finally, we got to the end of the show, the moment that always made every nerve in my body tingle and my skin break out in goosebumps. The last encore had arrived, when the audience sang the chorus to ‘Live, Love, Lose,’ and confetti canons showered them with zillions of golden stars.

  We bowed, turned and ran.

  Ran off the stage.

  Ran through the tunnel where the teams entered and out to our waiting cars so we could get away before the crowd made it impossible.

  Tonight, we’d been ordered by Jake to have an early night. We still had a concert to play tomorrow, followed by the after-show party. Axel’s family were coming to see him. Even his dad, who hadn’t spoken to him since Ella died.

  Axel and I cooled down our voices all the way back to the Langham.

  “I’m going to come to your room when everyone is asleep,” he whispered in my ear. “I need you.”

  Hmm.

  It was risky.

  We’d never made love after a concert before. We’d kept to a strict routine of him coming to my suite after we’d hung out while the others were partying.

  “Okay,” I whispered back.

  He’d said he needed me, and I couldn’t refuse him.

  I loved him too much.

  20

  I went to my suite, showered, put on a pair of shorts then helped myself to a Scotch from the mini bar.

  The smooth sweetness coated my tongue as I surrendered to the numbing effect of the alcohol. I was still hyped up from performing and I couldn’t stop thinking about my sister. Could Kimberly have been her girlfriend or was it someone else? And, if it was someone else, who the fuck was it?

  The minutes ticked by until I was sure everyone had gone to bed. Firebird had given me her spare key card earlier. I shoved it into my pocket along with a couple of foil-wrapped condoms.

  Stealthily, I poked my head out the door.

  The corridor was empty.

  I used Phoenix’s key and slipped into her suite.

  She’d left a light on in the living area, which lit her sleeping form on the bed.

  I placed the condoms on the bedside table, shrugged off my shorts, pulled back the duvet and climbed into her bed.

  Breathing slowly, I moved up behind her and wrapped my arm around her waist. She was naked. Good. I inhaled the scent of citrus shampoo from her silky blond hair.

  She turned and said in a sleepy voice, “Hey.”

  I pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose. “Sorry I woke you.” I brushed another kiss to her mouth. “Do you want to go back to sleep?”

  She shook her head and yawned. I smiled against her cheek, smoothing my hand down her side and over her bare ass. “Feel like making love?”

  “Uh huh,” she nodded, her eyes holding mine.

  I slipped my hand between her thighs and she parted them for me.

  Hell, yeah, she was already soaked.

  “Just a sec.” I sheathed myself then rolled on top of her. “I love you so much, baby.” I bent and kissed her soft lips.

  “I love you too, Axel.”

  “Gotta get inside you.” My voice grated with need.

  She spread-eagled her legs and I ground myself against her, rubbing my cock along her slippery slit.

  I kissed my way down her chin, her neck, the hollow of her throat.

  She cupped
my face and pressed her lips to mine, opening for me, inviting my tongue to claim hers.

  We kissed hungrily and I slid my cock into her.

  So hot.

  So wet.

  So. Fucking. Tight.

  Our bodies rocked together, catching a steady rhythm while we carried on kissing.

  I thrust deep, my hips pumping faster, and she clenched around me.

  Skin on skin, I covered her with my body, my hands on the mattress at each side of her, and I kissed her relentlessly while I made love to her.

  She came with a trembling moan. “Ahhh.”

  Such sweet music, it went straight to my balls and I fell into my own release, groaning as I shot my load.

  I kissed her deep and passionately.

  She stroked my beard, my jaw, my lips, her eyes gazing into mine. “I was so proud of you tonight, Axel. You were my rock god.”

  I slipped out of her, tied off the rubber and disposed of it. “And you were my rock goddess.”

  “I want to stay like this forever,” I said, settling her on top of me so I wouldn’t crush her with my weight.

  She kissed the pulse behind my ear. “I’m real sleepy,” she sighed.

  I ran my hands down the beautiful bird tat on her shoulder, soothing her until she dropped off.

  Make the most of this moment.

  I inhaled sharply.

  We were going back to LA next week.

  My gut wrenched. She’d return to her parents’ apartment and I’d go home to my place. Except it would no longer be my home.

  Not anymore.

  Not without her.

  I rolled us both over and gazed at her sleeping beside me. Her long blond hair spread across the pillow, her thick dark lashes fanning her cheekbones. Her lovely lips had parted slightly and her warm breath blended with mine.

  I loved her so fucking much, how could I ever let her go? If she didn’t want us to be together long-term it would kill me, but, at the same time, I realized that Phoenix deserved so much better than me.

  An ex-druggie who might yet slip off the wagon.

  I closed my eyes.

  Yesterday, after the band meeting, Jake had left me and the guys to our own devices and Rhys produced the coke he had gotten the day before from a dealer he knew.