A Pregnant Widow's Amish Vacation

by Samantha Price

  “I'm pleased I’ve met you. I'm glad your friend sent you here. It’s given me more peace.”

  Wanting to warm her hands, she picked up the coffee cup and wrapped both hands around it. “Me too.” Jane did feel better—she felt better for meeting a man like him; a man she could talk with so easily, who understood her.

  Chapter 11

  A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

  John 13:33

  * * *

  As she'd said she would, Gracie visited Jane the following Tuesday to check her over.

  “You’re in good shape and the baby’s doing fine.” Gracie gave Jane a hand and pulled her up to a sitting position. They were in the privacy of a small bedroom at the B&B.

  “Good. That’s a relief. At least something’s going right in my life.”

  Gracie stared at her. “What’s wrong?”

  She shook her head. “Nothing. It’s just that I feel so uncertain about the future.”

  “What I’ve learned in my fifty five years of life is that most of people’s worries are about things that never actually happen.”

  Jane nodded. “I can’t help worrying about things. It’s not just my life I’m worried about, it’s the baby.”

  “When I was a girl, my mother sat me down and said, ‘Gracie, don’t cross your bridges before you come to them.’ That advice has been the best I’ve ever heard. The word of God says that worry is a useless thing. I could quote a scripture, but I won’t.”

  “I suppose you trust in God, but I don’t have a strong faith like you even though I was raised religious.”

  “You could still put your trust in Him. He hasn’t gone anywhere.”

  Jane rubbed her nose. “I could try.”

  “Tell Him your problems and leave them with Him. Don’t take them back.”

  Jane nodded and then Zac walked into the room.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought this room was vacant.”

  “Your mudder said I could use it to examine Jane.”

  He looked at Jane and his face flushed scarlet. “I’m sorry. I’ll leave you to it.”

  When he closed the door, Gracie said, “Are you fond of him?”

  “What do you mean?”

  Gracie giggled. “Just because I’ve never been in love doesn’t mean that I don’t know it when I see it.”

  Jane looked down at the floor and then looked back at Gracie’s smiling face. “I think I might be.”

  “See? You can’t put anything past me.”

  “Nothing could ever happen between us. I don't see him changing his life and moving his daughter to New York.”

  “You could join us.”

  “I heard what the bishop said on Sunday. I don't think he would think it was a good idea if I joined for love.” Jane laughed as though the idea was absurd and the thought had never occurred to her. She didn't want Gracie or anybody else to know how strongly she felt about Zac in the short time she’d known him. It hadn’t been love at first sight, but maybe at second; there was an undeniable connection from her end.

  “Are you okay?”

  Jane nodded. “Yes. You shouldn't put those thoughts in my head, Gracie.”

  “I like to see others happy.”

  “Why have you never married?”

  “It was never a decision I made. I thought somebody would turn up—everyone's got somebody, right? But no one ever showed.”

  “No one at all?”

  “No one. I have my work to keep me happy and I love seeing babies come into the world. It’s a wondrous thing to look into the eyes of a newborn.” Gracie filled her lungs with air and then sighed.

  “I suppose you visited other communities?”

  “People visit from other communities for funerals and weddings, but with my work, I can’t go too far. There’s always someone having a baby.” Gracie laughed. “It’s something that God didn’t plan for me. I don't really think about it too much now. I've got three cats to keep me company.”

  “I’ve never had a cat.”

  “They’re good company and they don't ask much of me, and I don't ask much of them.”

  “Sounds like the perfect arrangement,” Jane said with a twitch of her lips.

  “I know you think the cats are no replacement for a husband, but they are good company.”

  “That’s what I need right now—companionship. Maybe I'll have to consider cats, then.

  “Yes you should, seriously!”

  Jane touched her stomach. “I think this one is going to keep me so busy that I won't have time to think about cats or husbands.” When Gracie smiled back at her, Jane said, “Tell me about Zac’s wife. What was she like?” Jane wasn’t sure why she wanted to know what Ralene was like; whether it was because she was the woman her husband left her for, or because she wanted to find out what type of woman Zac liked.

  “I would describe her as someone who was never settled. She was about to leave the community before they got married. Wait a minute. That’s right, she did leave for six months and then came back, got baptized, and said she’d marry him.”

  “From what I’ve read if an Amish person leaves after they’re baptized they are shunned if they return?”

  “That’s right. No one is permitted to talk to them and they have to keep separate. They can’t even eat with their own families—at the same table. It may seem harsh, but it's only for the best for the person who's being shunned.”

  Jane couldn’t work that out; it seemed harsh to her. “But his wife left before she was baptized, so there was no punishment and no shunning?”

  “That’s right, in her case. You see it’s better for the baptized person to be not spoken to and kept separate so they see the error of their ways. Better to be uncomfortable for a few weeks than not to make it into God’s kingdom.”

  Jane nodded trying to see how the Amish saw things. “It seems complicated.”

  “It's not; it's really not complicated at all.”

  “Can you tell me what her personality was like?”

  “It was as though she could never settle. After Gia was born she rejected her and didn’t want anything to do with her.”

  Jane gasped, not being able to believe that anyone could reject their own child. “Did she have postnatal depression? I've heard of that happening.”

  “She refused to see a doctor. I encouraged her to go; I knew something wasn't right.”

  “I feel sorry for her even though she was the one who stole my husband. But I guess, if it wasn't her, it would've been somebody else.”

  “If you’re interested in our ways, why don’t you come to the meeting tomorrow?”

  “Yes, I think I might. Zac and Lizzie both said I could go with them if I wanted.”

  “Good. I hope you go. It’ll give you a better understanding of things.”

  “What should I wear?”

  “Probably don’t wear jeans.”

  Jane laughed. “I’d hardly fit into jeans.”

  “Pants, then. Don’t wear pants. Just a dress would be okay, but nothing too revealing.”

  Jane gave a laugh. “Anything revealing I’ve got is at home, and I wouldn’t be able to fit into those clothes now, anyway.”

  “Just wear anything. It’ll be fine. Just be yourself. We’re all people just like you.”

  “If they’re like you and the Yoder family they’ll be the friendliest people I’ve ever met.”

  Gracie smiled at her.

  “I’m nervous about going there. Will anyone try to talk me into joining?”

  Gracie shook her head. “We don’t go out looking for people to join us. It’s not like that. No one’s going to talk you into anything. You can just sit back, watch and listen to what goes on.”

  Chapter 12

  One thing have I desired of the Lord,

  that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to e
nquire in his temple.

  Psalm 27:4

  * * *

  They traveled to the Sunday meeting in the largest buggy that the Yoders owned. The buggy had room enough for herself, Zac, his parents, and Gia.

  “You sit in the front,” Lizzie said to Jane.

  “I don't mind sitting in the back,” Jane said.

  “No; you're sitting in the front. I'll help you up.” Before Mrs. Yoder could help her into the buggy, Zac was already lifting her up with a hand under her elbow.

  * * *

  She sat in the buggy and watched Zac finish adjusting the leather straps of the harness. When he finished, he climbed into the front seat beside her. Zac looked at her and smiled before he looked over the back at his parents and daughter.

  “Are we ready?” he asked.

  “Yes hurry; we don't want to be late,” Lizzie said.

  “We’re never late,” Tobias said. “Your mother thinks if we aren't ten minutes early we’re late.”

  Gia giggled, finding what her grandfather said particularly funny.

  Jane didn't know whether she should laugh or not, but she couldn't keep the smile from her face. Jane’s mother had been very much the same and that habit had helped make Jane punctual as well. There was nothing worse in a client’s eyes than their advertising-campaign manager turning up late for an appointment.

  As the buggy turned onto the road at the end of the driveway, Jane asked, “How long is the ride?”

  “Around twenty minutes,” Zac answered.

  Lizzie leaned forward. “Just sit back and relax, Jane.”

  “Yes, I will, I'll do that.”

  Jane had already heard from the conversation at the breakfast table that the meeting was at Blake Esh’s house. There was no church building, as they held the meetings in the homes of various members of the community every second Sunday.

  “As you can see, there’s no one working in the fields even though it’s harvest time.”

  Jane looked out at the passing fields. “Does that make it harder for you to find people to help you with the building work?”

  “Not really. Most of the people coming to help me work as builders, they aren’t farmers.”

  Jane nodded.

  Tobias said, “It’s hard work bringing in the harvest. I’m glad I don’t have to do that anymore.”

  Jane twisted a little to see Tobias behind her. “You had to work the farm?”

  “Yes, when I was a boy. We all had to help no matter what our age. There was always a job for each of us.”

  As Tobias talked more about harvest, the buggy turned along a dirt driveway and Zac slowed the horse to a walk.

  Zac positioned the buggy skilfully alongside the last in a row of buggies.

  While Gia’s grandparents were busily getting her out of the buggy, Zac leaned over and said, “If you want to leave at any time I'll take you home. Don’t feel you need to stay for the whole thing.”

  “Oh, that's very kind of you. I think I should be okay.”

  He smiled and said, “It's no trouble; just let me know.”

  Zac’s offer of an escape calmed her nerves a little. After Jane got out of the buggy, Lizzie was right by her side.

  “Just stick with me and you'll be fine,” Lizzie said. “Us women sit on one side of the room and the men sit on the other. There’s no intermingling.”

  “That’s good to know.”

  On the walk to the house, Gia took her grandmother's hand and Jane walked on the other side, with Lizzie in the center of the threesome. Lizzie stopped and talked to a couple of people and introduced Jane. Jane glanced back to see that Zac and his father were still at the buggy.

  When Lizzie was done talking, she said, “Don't mind Zac and Tobias, they’re fiddlers; they’re probably tying the horse up just so.” Lizzie motioned for Jane to walk into the house.

  “You first,” Jane said with a little headshake.

  Lizzie smiled and walked through the door still holding Gia’s hand. They took a seat in the third row from the back.

  “Can I sit next to you, Ms. Walker?”

  “That's fine with me; is that okay, Lizzie?”

  Lizzie nodded. Gia moved passed her grandmother and sat on the other side of Jane. Jane wondered if the meetings weren’t terribly boring for a child of Gia's age.

  “That’s our bishop, the one with the dark beard, and the man next to him is one of our deacons.”

  After Lizzie had pointed out a few other people, Jane did her best to memorize all the names.

  A tall man stood and sang a hymn in a language that Jane recognized as German. For the next song, everyone joined in, after which one of the ministers stood and said a prayer. The Bishop made a few announcements and then delivered his sermon.

  Jane found it hard to concentrate and harder still to sit on the hard wooden bench with no back. It wasn’t easy for a pregnant woman to sit like that. Just as she was contemplating how to let Zac know she was ready to go home, the bishop sat and another man stood and said a prayer—Jane hoped it was a closing prayer.

  “It’s finished now,” Lizzie whispered to her.

  Jane nodded and looked down at Gia who’d been quiet the whole time.

  “It’s over?” Gia asked.

  “Yes,” Jane said.

  Lizzie accompanied Jane outside. “The ladies are preparing food and once the men clear out all the benches, we go back into the house to eat.”

  “I’m ready for a snack about now.” Jane looked around for Zac, wondering if she might catch sight of the women who were interested in him. Once they got back into the house, Jane noticed Zac talking to a woman. She looked around for Gracie, hoping she might let her know if she was one of those women she’d been talking about.

  After they'd gotten their food and sat down to eat it, Lizzie told her, “We have easy food on Sundays. We Amish don’t work on the Lord’s day, but of course, we have to provide for the people who are staying at the B&B.”

  “It seems a good idea to have the meeting so early in the day because then you have the rest of the day free. What do you normally do on a Sunday afternoon?”

  “Tobias and I go visiting.”

  “Are you two ready?” Zac asked walking up to them.

  “I'm ready,” Jane said.

  “I think we’re all set to go,” Lizzie said.

  Gia took hold of her father’s hand.

  Once they were in the buggy, Tobias asked, “What did you think of our meeting, Jane?”

  “It was a little hard to understand what the bishop was saying and I didn't know what the songs were about because I don't understand any German. Although, I did learn some at school, but that was a long time ago. Everyone was very friendly and so nice.”

  “You’re welcome to come again if you’d like to,” Lizzie said.

  “I think I'd like that.” She felt Zac look at her and she turned and caught his eye. He seemed pleased.

  Chapter 13

  The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?

  the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

  Psalm 27:1

  * * *

  Back at the house, after an easy Sunday lunch of salad and cold cuts, Mr. and Mrs. Yoder took Gia with them and went visiting. Jane was convinced that a favorite pastime of the Amish was eating since she’d had three meals before one in the afternoon.

  Being Sunday and having no workers present, she and Zac were alone in the large house. The only problem was, Jane didn’t know where Zac was. He could’ve been outside somewhere or in his room and she desperately wanted to talk to him and spend time with him again.

  Maybe what she needed was to go back to work. All this free time had led her obsessive-compulsive brain to focus on Zac. And what if he didn’t share the feelings that she was developing for him?

  She forced all thoughts and images of Zac out of her head and went outside into the garden, determined to get more of her book read.

  Jane pulled a wh
ite chair around so her back would warm in the sun and the glare wouldn’t prevent her from seeing the words on the page. When she had positioned the chair at the optimal angle, she sat, only to see that she was in direct view of Zac and his horse. “Perfect,” she grumbled to herself. This isn’t going to help me forget him.”

  He looked over from training his horse and waved, and she gave a smile and a wave back.

  Perhaps this could be like a holiday romance—like the romances people had on cruise ships. They could be like two ships that passed in the night. Would that be wrong? Telling herself that she deserved some male attention, she ignored the fact that she was heavily pregnant, pushed herself up, tossed her book on the chair and ambled over to him.

  On seeing her approaching, he stopped his horse. “I hope I wasn’t bothering you?” he said.

  “In what way?”

  “Was I too loud giving him commands?”

  Jane gave a little laugh. “I didn’t hear you at all.”

  “How’s that book coming along? Have you finished it yet?”

  She shook her head. “There are too many distractions.”

  Now it was his turn to laugh. “It’s Sunday afternoon and you’ve got the place to yourself. Well, nearly to yourself, apart from me.”

  “Maybe I’m not in the mood to read. Mind if I watch you train the horse?”

  “You could’ve watched, but we’ve done enough for one day.” He patted the horse on his neck. “This is Jack.”

  “Hello, Jack.”

  “He doesn’t talk much.”

  Jane laughed, and then Zac joined in with her laughter.

  “Your cheeks are getting red the more you laugh,” he said.

  She touched her fingertips to her cheeks, and then pointed at him. “Well, your chin’s getting red.” She laughed some more at the look on his face.

  “Well, so’s yours!”

  She laughed along with him so much that she had to wipe away a tear. “I haven’t laughed so much in years.”