Delusional Conduct

by J. L. Clayton

  “I went to the library around 6 p.m. My history paper; The Salem Witch Trials is due next week. So, I asked the head librarian, Lydia, if there were any more books over the trials, or if what the local library and our history teacher assigned us was all the information about that. She said she had some in her private collection, but because they are hers, I wouldn’t be able to check them out or take them home.

  “I stayed late. It was after 9 p.m. when I was finishing. Lydia had already locked the doors and was cleaning up.” Jen closed her eyes, and little goose bumps peppered her skin.

  Michelle rubbed Jen’s arm, trying to erase the chills from her friend’s body. “What was the last thing you did prior to leaving the library, Jen?” She asked her soothingly.

  “I thanked Lydia for her help and letting me stay past closing time. Oh yeah—I also asked her why she had a private collection and wanted to know if I could come back the next day after school so that I could go through the rest of her assortment. The information in her books was much better than anything I was able to find in any of the other books.”

  “How long do you think you stayed after closing time?”

  “Seriously? What does this have to do with anything, Michelle? Why does it even matter what happened prior to whatever the fuck transpired with Jen?” Jeremy interjected, sounding clearly annoyed.

  Michelle shot him a glare, hoping to quickly shut him down before he screwed up what was a crucial part of remembering every detail.

  Jeremy mumbled, “I will never understand your psycho-babble bullshit.”

  Jen, still in a trance-like state, continued. “Well Lydia usually starts to get all the stragglers out around 8:15, even though the library is supposed to close at 8 p.m., I remember being so intrigued by the book I was reading over the trials, that I lost track of time. So, I don’t remember what time she locked the door, if I had to guess, it would be around 8:30, just because that’s usually when she closes. But, I was so involved in reading about the brutal deaths, I didn’t notice everyone was gone until I heard the shouting coming from somewhere outside.”

  Jen’s eyes snapped open. “Oh God, I forgot about that? What if the shouting I heard was the…”

  Jen lowered her eyes as her voice trailed off, looking away from Michelle. Jen shook her head back and forth and buried her face into the palms of her hands.

  “I could have prevented it all if I wasn’t so wrapped up in my own infatuation—”

  “No Jen,” Michelle interrupted in her spellbinding voice. Michelle gave the group a death glare, which they all knew meant, do not say a word. “You only remember hearing the noise now because you’re in a heightened state of awareness. At that moment in time, you wouldn’t have recognized it for a cry of help even if it was, given you were inside and the sound came from the outside.” She knew if her friend thought whatever happened was her fault, or that she could’ve somehow prevented it…Michelle shook her head, knowing that if that were the case, Jen would continue to blame herself. Damn, Michelle thought. Even the straw that broke the camel’s back would be a big understatement.

  But per usual, Jen tried to protest; however, Michelle was somehow able to get her back into the trance-like state. Jen was back at the moment when she heard the noise. The others sat captivated, watching. Michelle felt a sudden rush of satisfaction as she noticed the others were now paying close attention. She knew even the smallest detail was necessary.

  “Go on, Jen. You were startled by a noise. Remember, to you it sounded like some sort of cry for help or a scream. What time do you think that was?”

  “Well, it must’ve been at least 9p.m., no… it was 9:30 because after I heard the noise, I looked up at the clock hanging on the wall behind Lydia’s desk. That’s when I realized Lydia, and I were the only ones in the building. I glanced down at my phone and noticed I had missed a text from my mom. She was worried, wondering why I wasn’t home yet. Ever since Jess, you guys know, my mom wants me home by 9 on the dot. Unless I have a good reason why I won’t be.”

  Michelle saw tears slowly trickling down the side of Jen’s cheeks. Even with her eyes closed tight, she couldn’t hold them at bay.

  Michelle gently pushed her on, knowing that Jen was thinking of her sister now.

  “That’s a significant lead in time to when they—at least I’m assuming it was more than one person—passed the library.”

  Jen’s eyes shot open again, this time with more intensity. “Yeah, I remember hearing more than just one person. How could I have forgotten about that?”

  “Jen, can you please stop jumping out of the zone every time you remember something?” Michelle asked flatly. “Let’s get this nightmare of yours over with already.”

  Jen frowned. “Sorry. You guys know, I just get excited.”

  The gang laughed and nodded in agreement. Michelle patted Jen’s hand and smiled. She hated to see Jen agonizing over anything, and since the brutal murder of her sister, Jessica, Jen has always been little edgy.

  Jen followed Michelle’s voice, easily falling back into the trance.

  “Okay, Jen, what happened next?”

  “I quickly called my mom and told her where I was. I explained that Lydia was kind enough to let me stay late. Lydia didn’t want to interrupt me while I was wrapped up in the book I was using for my report. Mom knew I didn’t drive my car, so she offered to pick me up, but I just wanted to walk home. I felt like I needed to clear my head, the book really had me thinking about death.”

  Michelle was growing weary. This is taking too damn long; it’s time to get to the point. She knew that if she felt that way, the others must have been dying to get it over with.

  Michelle pushed Jen a little harder. “Is that when you left the library?”

  Jen nodded. “I grabbed Lydia’s private stash of books and handed them back to her. We discussed one of the chapters that were bothering me, but I can’t remember exactly how long we talked. I was curious, wondering if she thought there was any truth to the stories. She did, claiming that her family survived the trials by hiding and seeking refuge here in Sawsville.”

  “Okay, Hun, I get you’re fascinated with the witch trials, but please, let’s focus on the time you left.”

  “Sorry.” Jen’s face flushed red. “I glanced up at the clock and noticed that it was 9:45. As I was about to tell her good-bye, we heard a scraping noise, which came from out back. Lydia said it was probably just one of the stray cats in town. I shrugged and hoped she was right. As I was heading out, I decided to take the shortcut home.”

  Becky gasped.

  Jeremy muttered, “What?”

  Steve cursed. “Damn, Jen.”

  “Do you mean the shortcut?” Michelle asked, feeling confused and a little pissed.

  Jen opened her eyes. She shook her head. “It was late. I told my mom I would leave right after I hung up the phone, but I stayed talking to Lydia about that damn book. I just didn’t want my mom to worry…”

  There was a pronounced stutter in her voice, and it seemed like she was trying to keep her friends from knowing what happened. Jen was pleading with her friends to understand why she even considered going that way, at that time of night, especially around this time of year.

  “Spill it, Jennifer Marie. Damnit, I’m not playing. Jen, I always know if you’re lying or keeping things from me. For fuck’s sake, this must be big if you found a way to hide it even from me,” Michelle grumbled.

  She never used a tone like that on her friends, especially toward her best friend.

  Clenching her hands together, Michelle continued. “By trying to hide this secret, you’re putting more at risk than just finding out the truth. We still have no idea what you saw, and we cannot help you if you keep blocking out whatever happened. Seriously, I feel like a fool. I know you, but somehow missed all the signs. Babe, I know whatever it is, this shit is huge and not something you should’ve tried to handle alone. You can talk to me about anything. Shit. You know you can talk to all of us a
bout anything. We will always have your back.”

  Michelle huffed, she felt her heart thrashing against her chest. Exhaustion seemed to pour from her body after all the reprimanding and coddling she just gave Jen.

  Everyone was staring at Michelle with wide eyes. Their expressions varied, with wonderment and confusion.

  “Hey, Michelle, cut her a little slack,” Steve suggested.

  Jen swallowed. “It’s okay, Steve. She’s just worried about me. Michelle, I promise I’m not trying to hide anything from y’all. I just can’t remember.” Jen ran a hand through her hair in frustration.

  “Okay, well let’s find out what your mind is suppressing,” Michelle said.

  “Yeah, let’s kick this bitch in the balls,” Steve agreed.

  The others laughed, and Jen nodded. “Yeah, let’s do it. I’m ready to face the demons in my mind and break whatever block I have.”

  “Okay, Jen, you’re leaving the library. What occurs next?” Michelle eased her back to that night.

  “I intentionally prolong my stay at the library. I was a little scared, after the noise I heard earlier, and then the scraping sound that was coming from the back, had me on edge.”

  “Hold up a minute,” Becky interjected. Michelle glanced at her. She had a sinking feeling that she knew what was coming next.

  Besides, Michelle thought, whatever Jen was blocking needed to come out for her sake.

  “The scraping sound…was it cats?” Becky inquired.

  “What the hell…cats?!” Jeremy gave Becky an odd look.

  Becky shrugged, “Well, I don’t like cats.”

  Chapter Three

  Michelle

  Michelle rolled her eyes and focused back on Jen, “Okay, besides finding out and telling us what your mind is mentally blocking, I also think it’s time you tell them… everything. They’re your best friends, and they need to know. Because sadly I’m starting to question if you really saw or heard anything.” Michelle folded her arms and waited.

  “Please, Shell, you know me. I’m not crazy, and I am certainly not making any of this up.”

  “I know. Well… at least I know you don’t think you’re making it up, but things you’re saying are making me think of past events.” Michelle’s voice cracked a little. “I’m honestly surprised you didn’t mention anything about being covered in mud. Jen, I want to believe you, but it sounds a lot like your nightmares and dark thoughts are back again. Damn, I really thought you were past all of that.”

  The entire group was engaged, and an eerie silence filled the surrounding woods. The creep-factor intensified as the sun started to set, which left shadows dancing across their faces in stark contrast.

  “No, Michelle. I’m not having nightmares again. Look at me, I am wide awake, and I know what I heard. At first, I didn’t think anything of the noise, and Becky, I wasn’t sure it was cats out front. I just figured it was probably some jackass being… well, a jackass. The person perhaps got a kick out of making noise. I thought whoever it was could have been running a hook or something back and forth across one of the dumpsters. I wanted to ensure my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me like so many people have told me in the past.” Jen said with a glance toward the group, remembering how they had all tried to ease her mind by telling her it was just her imagination. Even her own parents said the same thing. Jen remembered how she felt when the shrink her Mom took her to tried to convince her it was just her imagination. Everyone had believed it was her imagination. That is, Jen thought, except Michelle, but now it seemed she was on their side.

  “As I was heading for the shortcut home, I heard whistling. It was creepy, and I swear, I would recognize the tune anywhere. It was the disturbing sound that reminds me of an ice-cream truck. It was that fucking whistle that Jess and I heard when we would go for walks in the woods. A sound she said she started hearing outside of her bedroom window about two weeks before…well, you know.” Jen clenched her hands together. “My parents never believed Jess, at least not until it was too late. I don’t know why they didn’t believe it because I told them I heard it too, in the woods. I guess they just thought I was trying to cover for my sister, and I was so young. I remember they blamed themselves for Jess thinking she heard the whistling when they let her watch some scary movie or something. Then, years later when I started hearing the whistling, they yelled at me and basically interrogated me. They asked me all kinds of questions. They swear to this day that I was too young to remember anything about her case. They even went on to demand I tell them who was feeding me that kind of info.”

  Tears started to roll down Jen’s face. Becky leaned over and pulled Jen to her. She gave Jen a sweet smile and wrapped her arms around Jen’s shoulders. Becky’s long hair covered Jen’s face. Muffled sobs pushed their way out as Jen cried on Becky’s shoulder.

  The entire mood in the woods had changed, the air hung thick around the five of them as the sun was nearly gone from the sky. What little light was left, had shadows playing over each of their serious faces.

  This shit just got real, Michelle mused, and we still have no idea what the hell Jen saw.

  Chapter Four

  Michelle

  Michelle gazed out, seeming to look past everyone and everything. Lost in her thoughts, she knew it was happening again, and there was no way she could stop it. There was a point in her life when she hated it, hated the nightmares that came along with what happened when she was seven. It wasn’t even really her it happened to, it happened to Jessica, it happened to Jen and their parents. But it also happened to the entire town. All those years ago, her best friend’s sister was murdered, and not the hit by a drunk driver, accidental kind of murder. It wasn’t even a quick and painless death.

  Instead, the act was a long, drawn out, and well-planned, torturous murder. The killer clearly had the intent to inflict as much pain, fear, and suffering as possible. Unfortunately, Michelle was the one who found Jessica’s body. The coronary report stated that Jessica had only been dead for a few hours.

  Michelle slowly began to rock back and forth as the visions of that day came flooding back. Oh shit. Not now. Please God, not now, don’t let them see me like this. They. Can. Not. Know, Michelle silently prayed. Yet, that didn’t stop the gruesome scene from unfolding in her mind.

  As Michelle rocked, she started to shake her head and incoherent words spilled from her mouth. Suddenly, she felt a little tap on her head. She shrugged, feeling her senses come back online as her reality slowly started fading back in.

  Wait, why am I being touched? Who the hell is tapping on my head? This is not how it was. This isn’t right.

  “Hey, you—yeah, you, hello, anyone home in there?” Jeremy laughed as he poked his finger into Michelle’s forehead.

  Oh, thank you, Lord, she thought as she swatted Jeremy’s large finger away. She added a fake giggle. She hoped no one actually saw that for what it really was, a complete meltdown. “Stop that, you jackass. Man, I’m exhausted. Also, thinking about Jen’s story… well, something isn’t adding up.”

  Furrowing his brows, Jeremy cocked his head to the side. “So, you think Jen is making this all up?” There was a hint of confusion mixed with intrigue and curiosity. “What the fuck would she do that for?” You could hear a touch of rage in his deep voice. “When have you ever known her to be one to seek attention?”

  “No, fucker. Jeremy, why the hell would I call my best friend a liar? Stop trying to use my psycho-babble bullshit as you would say against me. Also, quit reading more into this than what it is. Trust me, you wouldn’t understand.” Michelle argued, anger pushing through her veins. She showed a side of herself she never wanted any of them to see, including Jen.

  Jeremy gave her a knowing look. Michelle flicked her eyes around, taking in everyone’s expressions. She realized something was off. Michelle wondered, was what each of her friends carried, simple personality traits? Or was it something much more sinister?

  Michelle chose to ignore what was staring h
er in the face. She chose blissful ignorance over analyzing her friends. But deep down she always knew there was a reason they got along so well. A reason they never questioned one another. A reason she had always felt a connection to them.

  Jen suddenly screeched. “I’ve got it!”

  “Got what?” The others said in unison.

  “I know now. I know what happened after I left the library!”

  Looking at her friends, Michelle felt relieved, especially after the heated exchange she and Jeremy just had.

  “Spill it then, girl,” Steve said, full of enthusiasm. He wasn’t the kind to be so curious, which to Michelle, meant he was actually interested in helping Jen. Or, she thought ironically, the darker side was seeping out of him, and his wicked side wanted to hear all the details of what everyone now understood was some serious shit.

  Michelle hoped that whatever Jen was about to tell them, was something they would have the chance to fix.

  Chapter Five

  Jen

  “I know that the noise in the back of the library was a person and not a cat, but there also wasn’t any evidence of someone being in the alley when I left. But then again, that doesn’t matter. I know someone was there. Strangely, it was like someone knew I was at the library, knew it was past my curfew and knew that with my delay I’d choose to take the shortcut. If I would have left when it was time, or remembered how overly protective my mom was, I wouldn’t be dragging you guys into this mess. And I definitely wouldn’t have witnessed what I did.” Jen’s voice had turned from robust and powerful, to almost having a touch of sorrow.

  “You’re not dragging us into anything, sweetie. We are here and have your back to the death,” Michelle told her, as she added an extra something to the word death.

  Jen smiled, feeling in that moment all five of them became one. Jeremy, Becky, and Steve repeated Michelle’s words, “To the death.”

  “To the death.” Jen smiled, feeling a rush of something dark pushing its way into her soul, but she didn’t care. “So, it was shortly after 10 p.m. when I made my way toward the shortcut, thinking, or maybe I wasn’t thinking, about the path I was taking. I was, however, thinking about him. I wanted him to find me. I don’t know; maybe, I just need to know for my own piece of mind…”