Rising from the Ashes

by Jessica Prince

  “Charlotte and I are done.”

  Charlotte and I are done.

  I couldn’t have possibly heard that right. “Say what now?”

  “I broke up with Charlotte.”

  I had so many questions running through my head, but the one that was at the forefront was, “When?”

  “Just before I came over here.”

  Everything skidded to a halt. I went from wanting to throw myself at him to wanting to pummel him into the ground.

  “So you dumped your girlfriend and thought…what? That you could just drive by my house for a late-night booty call or something?”

  Jeremy’s head shot back like I’d just slapped him and he looked at me with confusion. “What? No!”

  “Well then, why else are you here, Jeremy? You think you can just end your current relationship and then jump into bed with me a minute later? There’s no reason for you to be here at ten o’clock at night unless it’s for sex!”

  “I never said that! You’re putting words in my mouth.”

  He tried to say more, but I was on a roll. “Well, let’s see, you accused me of banging my coworker earlier today, and then you turn up at my place in the middle of the night, informing me that you broke up with Charlotte. That’s all pretty convenient, don’t you think? What conclusion would you like me to come to? It’s obvious you think I’m a slut or else you wouldn’t be here!”

  “I don’t think you’re a slut, Savannah. Stop saying that.”

  His face was getting red with anger, but I was heated, and once that happened, there was no stopping me. “Well, let me tell you something, Jeremy Matthews. If you think you’re getting in my panties, you got another thing comin’.”

  “Woman, would you just shut the hell up for a second?” he hollered.

  Oh no, he didn’t!

  Commence the dramatic female neck rolling and hand waving in three, two, one…

  “You did not just tell me to shut the hell up! And just who the fuck do you think you are, calling me woman? Talk to me like that one more time, and I’ll beat the ever-loving shit outta—”

  I didn’t get the chance to finish my statement before he shot up to stand. He bent at the waist, leaning in so that we were practically eye to eye. He was so close that he forced me farther back into the couch. I could smell the intoxicating scent that I’d grown to associate fully with Jeremy. It was a combination of fresh air and clean laundry with just the slightest hint of motor oil from his work at the garage. It was all man and a smell that had haunted me for as long as I could remember. I loved that smell.

  “I ENDED IT FOR YOU!” he shouted.

  “WELL, DON’T DO ME ANY FAVORS!” I spit back.

  “Have you always been this damn stubborn? Or do you just get a rush out of pissing me off?”

  I let out a snort of laughter and dramatically rolled my eyes. “Where the hell have you been? Of course I’ve always been this stubborn. You might have noticed if your head hadn’t been shoved up Charlotte’s ass for the past few months.”

  A slow grin spread across Jeremy’s lips, causing my stomach to drop. I didn’t know what was running through his head at that moment, but whatever it was—judging from that evil grin on his face—it wasn’t good.

  “Sounds like you’re a little jealous there…sugar.”

  That set my blood boiling. “Pfft, please. I’m so not jealous.” Bullshit, who was I kidding? I was totally jealous.

  But there was no way I was going to let myself admit that to him. It wasn’t something I was necessarily proud of, but my pride stung a little at his accusation. I wasn’t saying it was the smartest decision, but when I felt backed into a corner, my claws had a tendency to come out.

  “What do I have to be jealous about? I was simply pointing out the fact that she’s been carrying your balls around in her little designer purses ever since you two started dating. That wasn’t jealousy, Jeremy. That was pity.”

  I wasn’t sure what reaction to expect from him, but the booming laughter filling up my living room certainly wasn’t it.

  “You’re a piece of work, Savvy. You know that? Why can’t you just admit that you still want me?”

  I stood up on the balls of my feet in an attempt to come off as more intimidating. “Because I don’t!”

  “Bullshit,” he responded calmly.

  “It’s not bullshit!”

  “You want me.”

  “Do not!”

  “Do too.”

  A torrent of different emotions was coursing through me. I didn’t know if I wanted to slap that smug smile off his face or kiss it off. By how my body was heating up at our exchange, I was leaning toward the latter.

  “Nu-uh!” When all else fails, resort to childishness.

  “That’s it.”

  My stomach dropped to my feet, and all the air rushed from my body. I was so certain that he meant he was leaving, so when he grabbed my arms and jerked me up, all I could do was let out a startled yelp before he plastered his lips to mine.

  It took a second for my brain to respond to what was happening, but once it did, I instantly melted into him. It felt like Jeremy was pouring every ounce of himself into that kiss, and I greedily took everything he had to give me. I’d wanted him for so long that I was completely desperate for him. I couldn’t stop myself. I needed him more than I needed air. Running my fingers through his hair, I grabbed it and held on for dear life. I was terrified of what would happen when the kiss ended.

  All too soon, he pulled away and stared into my eyes. Our breathing was erratic, and I could feel the quick rise and fall of his chest pressed against mine.

  We stared at each other for what felt like an eternity before I could finally summon the courage to speak. “What was that, Jeremy?” I asked so quietly that I thought he might not have heard me.

  He placed his forehead against mine, still not breaking eye contact. “That was what we’ve both needed to happen for a really long time, sugar.”

  He sounded so sure of himself that I could feel a piece of myself breaking inside.

  Several months ago, I’d stupidly let my emotions and hormones take control, and Jeremy and I ended up having sex for the first time since we had broken up all those years ago. It’d been absolutely perfect, but when I woke up the next morning, reality had come crashing back down, and the bad decisions I had made at nineteen had still been there. I knew there was no way we could be together, so even though it killed me to do it, I’d walked away from him for a second time.

  I didn’t have the strength to do it a third time. “Jeremy, I can’t do this,” I whispered as tears welled up in my eyes.

  I tried to shove him away, but it was like trying to move a brick wall. When he grabbed my hands and held them to his chest, even more of my resolve crumbled. I could feel his strong muscles through the thin cotton of his T-shirt, and all I wanted to do was slide my palms across those hard ridges.

  I shook my head in an attempt to clear it. When I glanced back up, Jeremy was smiling down at me. I couldn’t understand how he could be smiling when I felt like my world was crumbling around me…again.

  “You’re not getting away this time, sugar,” he replied.

  His mouth came back down on mine, and he kissed me like he owned me—and damn, if I didn’t want him to in that moment.

  Just as quickly as the kiss had started, it ended. Jeremy pulled away and began heading for the front door, leaving me in a quivering pile of limbs.

  “Where are you going?” I hated the shakiness in my voice, but there was no controlling it.

  Jeremy had just ripped my walls down, and pretending to be unaffected was impossible.

  “I’m going home,” he replied with a nonchalance that had me wanting to smack him and climb him like a tree all at the same time.

  “What?” I squeaked. “Why?”

  He turned to face me and crossed those strong arms across that even stronger chest. I felt my face heating up as images of what we could have been doing righ
t then—had he not walked away—played on fast-forward through my head.

  Yeah, I was totally affected. And it was driving me crazy that he seemed so casual. I wanted him to be panting and as hot for me as I was for him.

  He squeezed his eyes closed and gave his head an irritated shake, and I was finally able to see that he wanted me too. I breathed a sigh of relief that the feeling was mutual.

  “You made it clear that you thought all I was looking for was sex, so I’m leaving to prove you wrong. I’m gonna head home, take a cold-ass shower, and maybe jerk off once or twice.”

  My jaw dropped. He was just as affected as I was. Then why was he leaving?

  “But…you said…”

  “I know what I said, and I meant every word of it.”

  Oh, thank God.

  “But,” he continued, and my hopes for him staying deflated a little, “that being said, for the past seven years, I let you control how things went between us whether I agreed with them or not.”

  I opened my mouth to interrupt him, but he held up his hand and cut me off.

  “I wasn’t lying when I said I wasn’t letting you go this time. But from here on out, we’re doing this my way.”

  I felt my hackles rising again. “Excuse me?”

  He shot a smile at me that had my knees quaking. “Now, don’t start the attitude again. It won’t change a damn thing.”

  I let out a huff and narrowed my eyes at him.

  “There’s no doubt in my mind that you want me just as badly as I want you, and sugar, you gotta know I love that. But I’m done letting you dictate how things are going to be between us. It’s my turn now.”

  I felt the effect of his words deep in my gut. This unexpected dominant side of Jeremy was new to me. And it was Totally. Freaking. Hot!

  I was contemplating tackling him to the ground and ripping off his clothes when he turned and started for the door again.

  Once he got it open, he looked back and gave me a wink over his shoulder. “Don’t worry, sugar. I won’t make you beg me to get in your panties too much.”

  Oh hell, I’m so screwed!

  Sleep did not come easy that night. I spent hours tossing and turning, replaying every kiss and every word out of Jeremy’s mouth. I was a bundle of nervous energy, bouncing between wanting him and knowing it wasn’t a good idea.

  I lay there, staring at the ceiling while my heart and my brain battled it out over what I should do. After hours of constant back and forth, I finally managed to doze off around four in the morning.

  The lingering smell of bacon woke me up way too early for my liking the next morning. Groggy and still half asleep, I kicked the covers off my bed and padded my way down the hall. If I’d been awake all the way, I might have been bothered by the fact that it appeared someone had broken into my house in order to make breakfast.

  When I turned the corner, the first thing my eyes feasted on was Jeremy’s back as he stood at my stove in a tight gray T-shirt and worn jeans that fit his ass to perfection. The second thing was the delicious meal of bacon, eggs, and pancakes that was set up on my kitchen island. Everything looked as wonderful as it smelled. He must have been here for a while.

  “Uh…what’s going on here?”

  He turned and hit me with that hot-as-sin smile, throwing my sleep-muddled brain off even more. “Well, good morning to you too, sleepyhead.”

  “Good morning. What’s going on here?” I repeated, still unable to wrap my brain around it.

  He grinned and then turned back to flip another pancake. “What does it look like? I’m making you breakfast.”

  I pulled out a bar stool and planted myself at the island. Then, I started to pour syrup on a couple of pancakes before digging in with gusto. “How did you even get in here?” I asked around a mouthful of food.” Classy was my middle name.

  Jeremy turned off the gas burner and slid the pan into the sink to rinse. Then, he turned to face me and pulled a key out of his pocket. “Got a key, remember?”

  I rolled my eyes at that. “I have got to stop giving out keys.”

  I’d made the mistake of giving a key to my house to all of my friends. They had a tendency to act like my house was open for them whenever the hell they wanted to come over, no matter how inconvenient it was for me. Between Luke, Trevor, Jeremy, Brett, and Gavin, I had to restock my pantry and fridge way too often.

  Jeremy leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms. “You know, for someone acting all pissy, you sure are shoveling that food in pretty damn fast.”

  I glanced up and glowered at him, not even bothering to inhale between bites. The food tasted divine. I hadn’t even realized how hungry I was. “Whatever,” I grumbled between bites while he stood there all cocky and full of himself.

  We stayed in companionable silence while I ate until I had absolutely no room left in my stomach. When I finally finished, I dropped my fork, leaned back on the stool, and let out a content sigh.

  “Good?” Jeremy asked with a laugh.

  “Oh, yeah,” I said happily as I rubbed my full belly. “So good.”

  He leaned his elbows on the island across from me and studied my expression. “When was the last time you had a decent home-cooked meal?”

  I shot my eyes to the ceiling and scrunched my face in thought. “What’s today?” I asked.

  “Tuesday.”

  “Three years ago?” I guesstimated.

  He shook his head. “That’s just sad.”

  I crossed my arms and leaned against the counter, mimicking his stance. “No more avoidance, Jer. What’s all of this about?” I asked, waving my hand around the kitchen to indicate his cooking.

  He stared right in my eyes while responding, “This is me showing you what you’re getting by being with me.”

  My heart started to speed up at the same time my stomach dropped while I looked down at my lap. The whirlwind emotions I was experiencing were driving me insane. The majority of me wanted nothing more than to be with Jeremy. But that little voice in my head was still reminding me that I didn’t deserve him, that I’d screwed up, and if he ever found out, he would hate me forever.

  I took a fortifying breath and looked back up at his beautiful face. “Jeremy, we aren’t together.”

  “Keep telling yourself that, sugar.” He rounded the island and came to stand right beside me, ignoring my personal space. “Did you forget what I said last night? We’re doing this my way. If you insist on being your typical stubborn-ass self, that’ll just make proving you wrong even sweeter.”

  I tried to scoot back to put a little bit of room between us. Having him so close was shattering my resolve. “You aren’t going to prove me wrong,” I said with as much determination as I could muster. My words still sounded weak, even to my ears, so I knew he didn’t believe me.

  “If you say so.”

  With that, he leaned into me and kissed me so fiercely that it stole the breath from my lungs. My lips parted on a gasp, and Jeremy took that as an opportunity to slide his tongue between them. The flavor of maple syrup and coffee overwhelmed my senses, and before my brain had a chance to click on, my arms were wrapping around his neck, and I was pulling him to me in an attempt to deepen the kiss. My body heated, and it felt like a swarm of butterflies had been let loose in my stomach.

  Before I was ready for the kiss to end, Jeremy pulled my bottom lip between his teeth and gave it a playful nip before disentangling himself and stepping away. “Have a good day, sugar.”

  My mind couldn’t play catch-up. “What? Where the hell are you going?” I demanded as he headed for the front door.

  “Work. Gotta busy day today, and I’m sure you do too.”

  Before I could formulate a response, he was gone, leaving me aching for him again. I was going to kick his ass the next time I saw him.

  It was inevitable that walking out on Savannah for the second time in only a matter of hours meant that I was going to be stuck with a raging hard on for the rest of the day. But I could
tell I was wearing her down, and that was worth every second of discomfort I would have to deal with. I’d watched as the struggle played across her eyes this morning, and after I kissed her, I could see the indecision had vanished and been replaced with hunger.

  It wasn’t going to be an easy fight, but I refused to give up. That girl took pride to a whole new level, but there was no doubt that I was going to win out in the long run, and I was going to savor her telling me I was right.

  I was leaned over the engine compartment of my 1967 Pontiac GTO, working on restoring the engine, when Luke walked in.

  “What are you so happy about?”

  I looked up to see him decked out in his full deputy uniform. “Do you ever work, man?”

  Luke rolled a chair over and plopped down, making himself comfortable. “What the hell does it look like I’m doing right now?”

  I pulled out the rag that was tucked into my back pocket and wiped at the grease on my hands. “I don’t know. Wasting taxpayer dollars?”

  He kicked his feet up on the bumper of the GTO and leaned back. “What can I say? Since I got back, crime has been down. I must scare people straight. I’m a badass.”

  I leaned back against the car and let out a laugh. “I don’t suppose it has anything to do with the fact that Cloverleaf is small and never really had a high crime rate to begin with?”

  “Nope, it’s because I’m a badass.”

  “Whatever.”

  “You still working on this thing? Damn, Jer. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you must be a shitty mechanic.”

  I kicked his feet off the bumper and laughed as he tried—and failed—to keep himself from falling. “It’s a slow process, asshole. I’m just about finished with her.”

  Luke propped himself back in the chair and dusted off his pants. “Whatever. I still say you suck.”

  “Don’t you have a speed trap to set up or underage kids to catch smoking?”

  “Nah, I’ll let the little punks get a few more packs in their lungs first. That way, I won’t have to chase ’em very far.”