Rising from the Ashes
Page 21
That house was special to me. I’d purchased it using solely my income from P&C. I had felt so proud of myself when I bought it. I’d spent months painting and decorating it until it was exactly what I wanted it to be. The idea of someone else living in the house I’d poured so much love into killed me, but I’d made my choice. I’d chosen to leave in the hopes of finding a happiness I thought I’d lost. But now that I was back, I wasn’t so sure that I’d done the right thing.
I pulled up next to the curb and stepped out of my car. There weren’t many lights on my old street, so I wasn’t able to see the shiny black GTO sitting in the driveway until I was standing at the end of it.
What were the odds of someone else in this small town owning a car almost identical to the one Jeremy had been restoring for years? I was so lost in thought as I stared at the car that I didn’t hear the footsteps coming up behind me.
“Taking a trip down memory lane?”
I let out a startled scream and spun around with years of self defense training kicking in instantly. I pulled my arm back, and with as much power as my little frame could muster, I punched whoever was standing behind me right in the nose.
“Ah! Sonofabitch, Savvy! What the hell did you do that for?”
I looked down at the hunched over form in the driveway and finally registered who it was. “Jeremy?”
“Yeah, Jeremy. Who the hell else did you think it was?”
I felt my defenses rising even though he was the one sporting a bloody nose. “Well, that’s what you get for sneaking up on me! You don’t just creep up behind a woman in the middle of the night and not expect to get punched in the face. You’re lucky I didn’t kick you in the balls.”
He stood to his full height and tipped his head back, pinching his nose to try to stop the bleeding. “Fuck, I think you broke my damn nose.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and cocked a hip. “You deserved worse, scaring me like that. What are you doing here anyway? Did you follow me?”
He turned his head down to look at me, still pinching his nose. “Don’t flatter yourself, Ali. I live here. Technically, you’re trespassing. Should I call Luke and report that as well as the assault?”
My mind went in a million different directions. I couldn’t even form a proper comeback. “What do you mean, you live here?”
He pulled a set of keys from his pocket and made his way to the front stoop. He slid a key into the lock and opened the door. “I mean, I live here—as in, I bought the house. You want to come in, so I can get some ice? Or you want to stay out here all damn night and maybe beat the shit out of anyone else who should accidentally cross your path?”
I made my way into the house in a daze. As soon as I crossed the threshold, the breath in my lungs froze and I came to a dead stop. Nothing had changed at all. I’d rented a small apartment in Austin, so I hadn’t been able to take most of my furniture with me. I’d opted to sell the rest of it with the purchase of the house. Everything I hadn’t taken with me was still in the exact place where I’d left it. Only now, there were a few other odds and ends that Jeremy added to the mix. He hadn’t touched a thing that I left behind. It was almost as if I’d never moved away.
Jeremy stepped around me and made his way to the kitchen. I followed behind him and took a seat on one of my old bar stools at the island as he filled a baggy full of ice and wrapped it in a dish towel.
“You do realize I’m gonna be standing in that wedding tomorrow with two black eyes, don’t you?”
“I can’t believe you bought my house,” I replied, still in shock. “Why didn’t Ben tell me it was you?”
Jeremy lowered the ice pack and looked at me. “Because I asked him not to.”
“Why would you do that?”
Jeremy leaned against the counter across from me and tossed the pack into the sink. The bleeding had stopped, but he was right about the black eyes. I could already see faint purple marks starting to form. I felt a twinge of guilt, but at the same time, I also kind of felt a sense of pride. I hadn’t realized I packed such a mean punch. I was a total badass.
“I asked Ben to keep the sale private. I was hoping to surprise you. I just didn’t expect bodily injury to be a part of it.”
“Jeremy…”
He let out a breath and continued, “This is your home, Savvy. It’s where you belong. I know you said leaving was something you had to do, but I couldn’t stop hoping that you’d want to come back one day. I wanted to make sure that if that day ever came, you’d have something to come back to.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Jeremy bought my house. He’d bought it for me.
“I don’t understand,” I said, trying desperately to keep my tears in check.
“You loved this house, sugar. I remember how excited you were when you bought it. It’s not right that you had to give all of that up. I want you to have it.”
“But you said you live here.”
“Yeah, I do.” He walked around the island and stopped right next to me, tucking an errant strand of hair behind my ear. “Because I’m your home too.”
I dropped my head and squeezed my eyes closed, letting the tears that escaped fall onto my lap.
“I know we didn’t always get it right, and I know we caused each other a lot of pain along the way, but that doesn’t change the fact that you and I are meant to spend the rest of our lives together. We’re meant to start a family and grow old together in this house, so I bought it. I’m just waiting for you to see what’s been right in front of you all along, sugar.”
I stood from the bar stool and took a step away from Jeremy. I wasn’t able to breathe with him standing so close. I couldn’t listen to what he was saying. It was too much.
“How can you say that, Jer? Two people who are made to be together shouldn’t cause each other pain. I hurt you over and over. That’s not how someone is supposed to treat their soul mate.”
He took a step closer, causing me to back up again. If I let him touch me, I’d cave. And if I caved, I’d have to admit that there was a possibility I’d been wrong, that leaving wasn’t what I was supposed to do. The foundation of my life was already dangerously shaky. A blow like that would cause it to crumble completely, and I didn’t know what I would do if that were to happen.
“People make mistakes¸ Savannah. We’re only human. Those mistakes don’t define us. It’s how we choose to fix them that really matters. I know you felt like leaving is what you had to do, but I want you to know that when you’re ready, you can quit running. I’ll be here to take care of you. I’ll always be here, sugar.”
That was all I could handle. I couldn’t listen to any more. That last sentence terrified me.
“I can’t do this, Jeremy. I’m so sorry. I have to go.” Without a backward glance, I turned and ran to the door.
I couldn’t breathe. No matter how hard I tried, I didn’t feel like I could get enough air in my lungs, so I did what I’d always done when I was scared to death.
I ran.
I woke up the next morning with a splitting headache. I’d spent the majority of the night tossing and turning, replaying Jeremy’s words in my head over and over. He’d said he would always be there, but I wasn’t sure I could trust that. It wasn’t his fault though. It was mine. I wanted to believe him, but a person could only try so hard, could only handle so much.
What if he decided one day that being with me wasn’t worth all of the heartache I caused him?
A lifetime of doubt had been ingrained in me from an early age. I just couldn’t trust that I was worth it.
One thing I had to be grateful for was the fact that the day was so packed with wedding preparations that I hardly had time to think. We were on the go from the moment we’d woken until the ceremony was going to start. It was a frantic whirlwind of activity up until the very moment I took my place to begin my walk down the aisle.
The doors opened, and I took my first step out, instantly faltering the moment I saw Jeremy standing a
t the altar in his tux. It should be illegal for a man to look that good. A flush crept up my neck as I walked closer and closer to the altar, unable to take my eyes off of him. If I thought the man looked sexy in jeans and a flannel, it was nothing compared to how he cleaned up in a tuxedo.
Somehow, my feet carried me to my destination without me having to think about it. I turned toward my spot, forced to take my eyes off of Jeremy and the cocky smirk he was giving me, and took my place. The music played as the rest of the bridesmaids made their way down the aisle.
“What the hell happened to Jeremy’s face?” Lizzy whispered through the corner of her mouth.
I couldn’t contain the snort-laugh that escaped me at her question. Yes, I felt bad for breaking his nose the night before, but there was no denying that the situation was hilarious. My eyes cut in his direction as I tried to suppress my laughter, and he gave me a wink in return as if he knew exactly what I was thinking.
He’d winked.
The man had poured his heart out the night before, just to have me run out on him, and he’d winked at me. I did not deserve him.
“You know you’re as easy to read as a book, right? You’ve got self-doubt written all over your face.” Lizzy said with a knowing smile
I leaned over slightly and whisper-yelled back, “Shut up. We’re in a wedding, for God’s sake.”
Emmy leaned over as inconspicuously as possible. “Both of you can it before Stacia comes through those doors. If she sees y’all talking, you’re dead.”
We all straightened just as the doors opened again and the wedding march began playing. As soon as Stacia began walking down the aisle on her father’s arm, I turned to see Gavin’s reaction. His face was lit up like a Christmas tree, a huge smile splitting right across the middle. Seeing how happy he was to be marrying the love of his life was so moving.
At that thought, my eyes drifted back to Jeremy. He was staring back at me with so much affection that my heart felt like it was going to beat right through my chest. We spent the rest of the ceremony locked on each other, only turning away to cheer when the minister announced Gavin and Stacia as husband and wife.
The wedding reception was fantastic. Everyone was having a blast. The room was beautifully decorated in white and soft gold, the food was phenomenal, the DJ was absolutely amazing, and best of all, there was an open bar.
I was sitting at one of the round tables off of the dance floor, watching my friends make fools of themselves while trying to do The Wobble. I couldn’t recall the last time I’d laughed so hard.
I picked up my champagne flute and took a sip just as the song changed and “Like a Star” by Corinne Bailey Rae began playing.
“May I have this dance?” Jeremy asked as he came from behind me and held out his hand.
“I don’t know, Jer. You know how horrible of a dancer I am. Add three glasses of champagne to that, and you might walk away with more bruises than you’ve already got.”
He took the glass from me and placed it gently on the white covered table. Then, he took my hand, pulled me from the chair, and led me to the dance floor. “I’ll take my chances. You just have to promise not to turn into a control freak and let me lead this time.”
I threw my head back in laughter. “It’s like you don’t know me at all.”
Jeremy spun me around to face him and placed one arm around my waist, pulling me to him tightly. He grasped my right hand in his left, entwining our fingers, and rested them both on his broad chest. “I know you better than you know yourself, sugar.”
Right then, I was sure what he was saying was the truth.
“Are you having a good time?”
I looked up into his gorgeous eyes, not even seeing the bruises I’d caused the night before. “I really am. The wedding was beautiful.”
The arm around my waist tightened slightly, and he lowered his face to my shoulder. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered.
His breath on my bare skin caused goose bumps to break out over my arms. I inhaled deeply, melting further into his strong body as I rested my forehead on his chest. Being in Jeremy’s arms felt so right.
“How can you still be so nice to me after everything I’ve done to you? I don’t deserve it.”
I felt him press his lips against the top of my head. “Because I love you,” he responded simply. “You made a few mistakes, sugar. That doesn’t make you a bad person. I know that. I just wish you did too.”
I laughed sarcastically and pulled back to look at his face. “A few is putting it lightly, Jeremy.”
His smile vanished, and his face grew serious. “It doesn’t matter. I’m always going to forgive you. There isn’t anything life can throw at us that we can’t handle together, babe. One day, you’ll see that.”
I lowered my head and placed my cheek back on his chest, letting him guide me around the floor.
“Are you happy?” he asked so quietly that I almost didn’t hear him.
I stayed silent for a while, putting serious thought into my answer. “I’m not sure,” I finally answered honestly.
“Well, let me ask you this—do you still love me?”
That was one question I could answer without hesitation. “Yes. I never stopped.”
He leaned down and placed his forehead against mine, keeping his eyes closed, as he said, “Only ever you, Savannah.”
“Only ever you,” I whispered back.
Jeremy let go of my hand and wrapped his other arm around me, holding on to me like he never wanted to let go. “If you’ll just take a chance on us, I promise I’ll make sure that you’re happy every day for the rest of your life. You can trust me, Savannah.”
Every wall I’d put up to guard myself came crumbling down after he said that. There was no way to keep Jeremy out any longer. I didn’t even want to.
“You think we can really do this?”
His face lit up just like Gavin’s had earlier when he laid eyes on Stacia. “You know what they say—third time’s a charm.”
I smacked him on the arm. “I’m being serious, Jer.”
His joking demeanor faded. “Are there any more secrets between us?” he asked.
I answered with complete certainty, “No more secrets, I swear.” Then, I finally faced the one thing that gave me pause. “What about Charlotte?”
“Charlotte stopped being an issue the morning you came to my apartment. She’s gone. If I hadn’t been drunk out of my mind, that night would never have happened.”
I had a choice to make, and this time, I was making it completely for myself and no one else. I could either let go of all that hurt and move forward with my life, or I could hold on to that pain and let it prevent me from ever truly being happy. Once I finally got past all my fears and self-doubt, I discovered that the answer was simple.
“I love you, Jeremy. I want to come home.”
“Wake up, sleepyhead. We’ve got things to do.”
I batted Jeremy away and pulled the comforter over my head.
Gavin and Stacia had left the ceremony around midnight, and Jeremy and I had chosen to leave shortly after. We’d headed back to his house—well, our house now—and he’d kept me up for several more hours before I finally passed out from exhaustion.
My man is a sex god. No doubt about it.
“Go away, or die.”
“Sorry, sugar. No can do. We’ve got a plane to catch.”
That woke me up. “What do you mean, we’ve got a plane to catch? Where are we going?”
“That’s the surprise. Now, move your sexy ass, or we’re gonna be late.”
I threw the covers off and jumped out of the bed. I quickly rummaged through my suitcase while arguing, “You can’t just spring a last minute trip on me, Jeremy. I only packed for the weekend. When did you have the chance to buy plane tickets anyway?”
“Don’t worry about the rest of your things. We’ll head to Austin and pack you up when we get back. And I didn’t buy these tickets at the last minute. I’ve had them for a
while.”
I grabbed my toiletry bag and headed for the bathroom. “Oh, you were that sure of yourself, huh?”
He stepped in my path and wrapped me in a hug. “I had faith. There’s a difference.” He planted a steamy kiss on me that had my toes curling, and then he pulled away, ending it too soon. “Shake a leg, sexy,” he said, giving me a slap on the ass.
By the grace of God, I’d managed to shower and dress in half an hour. We jumped into Jeremy’s GTO and booked it to the airport.
“Seriously, where are you taking me?” I asked for the hundredth time.
“You’ll see,” he said with a smug grin.
As soon as we walked through the glass doors, we turned to check our bags, and I spotted our friends already at the counter. All of our friends were there, even Ben was there with his arm around Mickey. Stacia and Gavin were even standing there.
“Uh…babe, what’s going on?” I asked as we made our way over to them before hugging everyone hello.
Jeremy ignored my question and kept glancing around, like he was looking for someone.
So I turned my attention to everyone else. “What’s going on? Aren’t you supposed to be on your honeymoon?” I asked Stacia and Gavin.
“Jer hasn’t told you yet?” Emmy asked.
“He hasn’t even told me where we’re going.”
“This has been in the works for a while. We’re all going with you. Gavin and I will head out on our honeymoon when we all get back,” Stacia said.
I turned to Jeremy, who was still looking around. “In the works for a while, huh? That’s a lot of faith.”
He looked down at me and pulled me to his side for a kiss. “I’ll bet on us every time, sugar. Oh, good, they’re here.”
“Who’s here?” I was so confused.
Everyone we knew was already with us. Who else could he possibly have been waiting on?
Just then, three people I never expected came walking up to our group, dragging rolling luggage behind them. One person in particular surprised the hell out of me.
“Mom?”
“Hi, sweetie,” she said, running up to give me a huge hug.