The Commanders' Mate

by Grace Goodwin

  Looking around, that possibility hit home a bit harder than I wanted it to. What if one of these injured warriors was my mate? Was Karter or Ronan?

  I didn’t even know them yet, but the idea made my gut churn. I’d transported into the middle of a war zone. Warden Egara had warned me about that, but I hadn’t really listened. Dead bodies and blood had a way of making everything sink in.

  Despite it all, I couldn’t step away from the wounded. Somehow, my touch seemed to bring these warriors comfort. The first one had been transported, but there was another I could help, then another. They kept calling me Lady Karter, and smiling when I knelt beside them, one warrior’s grin wide—despite the fact that he was spitting out blood when he did so.

  Were all these Prillon warriors crazy? I was no lady.

  I ignored Commander Karter, Commander Wothar and the big one called Bard. I figured out quickly, based on the way everyone was speaking to him, that he was second in command. Even that didn’t make sense. If Ronan was a commander, too, why wasn’t he in charge of something?

  The two males were mine. I knew that. My body definitely knew—and wanted them. Now. But there was so much going on that I didn’t understand. I felt like I’d been dropped into a boiling pot of chili, and I was trying to separate the ingredients by hand. Impossible.

  So I listened and moved from warrior to warrior, waving the blue wand thing and trying to offer what comfort I could. Which, apparently, was a lot. Their smiles were grim, but every single smile reached the warrior’s eyes.

  I asked one of them why he was smiling at me. His answer stopped me cold.

  “The commander has waited longer than any of us for a mate. You are a gift from the gods, a promise for the rest of us.”

  A promise, huh? No pressure there.

  And as for the commander? My mate? He definitely didn’t seem to think I was a gift. A burden maybe.

  I caught Ronan watching me and tried to smile, but it felt like a weak attempt, and I knew my eyes were doing a shit job of hiding my disappointment.

  This was not a fantasy with a happily-ever-after. This was blood and war. And I’d dropped naked right into the middle of it.

  7

  Commander Karter, Battleship Karter, Personal Quarters, One Hour Later

  * * *

  In all my young, foolish imaginings, never had I envisioned this. Nor in my wiser, older years.

  Ronan was here, alive, and cradled in his arms as we entered my private quarters was my mate. Our mate, half naked and covered in the blood of others, with a smile on her face. Her arms were around his bare neck as he teased her—his mouth close to her ear—about something I could not hear.

  That was what a worthy female needed. Teasing. Smiles. A gentle heart and patience from her males.

  I was neither gentle nor patient, and the moment I placed the mating collar around both of their necks they would know the chaos of my mind. The heavy ache of responsibility I felt toward every warrior and civilian under my command, my heartache at losing such a close friend in Commander Varsten, the crushing weight of knowing I would always have to choose my people over myself—over her. The burdens I carried lay heavy as death inside me, required a cold, calculated response. That coldness should never touch something so beautiful as my mate.

  I had no qualms about taking her body, giving her pleasure, protecting her to the best of my ability. But I would not burden her with the weight I carried, the weight of guilt and sacrifice that command brought. I ordered honorable warriors to their deaths. I made decisions that tore my soul into pieces with no hope nor desire of repair. My burdens would not be hers. My collar would never go around her neck. She was too fragile and soft, too feminine and light to be marred by my darkness.

  I was not a soldier or a pilot who could dedicate himself to his mate with no other worry or concern. I was a commander, my first and primary responsibility to protect those who served me. Always. Mate or no mate.

  Perhaps she’d learned a hint of it upon her unexpected arrival, transported into the very heart of a disaster. Wounded everywhere. An unplanned way for her to learn the way of things. The order of priorities in my life.

  Seeing Erica’s beautiful smile, the innocent happiness shining from her eyes, I knew I should walk away and spare her the torment of being mine. But even in that, I failed.

  I could not let her go, not now that I’d seen her. So had several fighters in the transport room when she arrived… which flared what I’d considered non-existent protective mating instincts into a raging fire. How dare anyone see her body but her mate and her second? I thought of the claiming ceremony, how it would be witnessed by many, and ground my teeth.

  I was torn. I shouldn’t keep her, but I wanted no one else to have her. I was too weak to do the right thing, and that fact was like acid in my system, eating me alive from the inside out, making it impossible for me to touch her at all. If I touched her, I’d be lost. Just looking at her was making rational choice impossible.

  Perhaps, if I could find the courage and strength to leave now…

  “We need to get you cleaned up, female. I do not like seeing my mate covered in blood.” Ronan nuzzled her cheek with his nose and walked toward the bathing room as she sighed with contentment and relaxed in his arms.

  He seemed to have no issues whatsoever. Perhaps being dead for five years changed one’s perspective.

  “Okay.” Just like that, she agreed. Why wouldn’t she? She’d volunteered to be here.

  Gods be damned. Soon the sound of water would come on. Then Ronan’s uniform shirt she wore would hit the floor and our mate would be naked under the water. Wet. Warm.

  She was receptive. I’d seen the look in her eyes upon her arrival. The way her nipples had been pebbled, her cheeks flushed, as if she’d been instantly attracted. She wanted us, approved of our appearance. There had been desire in her eyes when she looked upon me.

  I had no business claiming a female when there were so many other worthy warriors who had sacrificed everything to shield our home world and all the worlds under Coalition protection. The list of those who had been tested and waited was long. Why me? Why now?

  Ronan and Erica disappeared inside the bathing room, but Ronan did not close the door, his intention clear. I could practically hear him chastising me, Get your ass in here, idiot. Now!

  Instead, I heard him yell. “Bring that box on the bed when you come in, Kaed.”

  Box?

  Turning slowly, I saw a small, rectangular box sitting atop my bed. With a frown, I walked to inspect it. ATB-Earth was written on the side.

  The anal training box that all new Prillon brides received? But an Earth bride? And why was the box so small? Normally, the box was several times this large and held a variety of anal plugs in all different sizes. Some brides were not accustomed to taking two lovers when they were first claimed by their Prillon warriors. Our warriors had been using the anal devices to prepare their females for years.

  News of my mate’s arrival must be all over the Karter, for how else would the ATB have been delivered and waiting for me?

  Lifting the lid, I discovered one small, oblong device with odd ribbed joints up and down its length. The joint lines were both vertical and horizontal, forming a grid pattern just above what was obviously a flat handle designed for ease of insertion and removal. The handle was small enough that we could place this in Erica’s ass and require her to wear the device to meals or other events and no others would know of our sexual games. Between the gridlines were small, raised bumps.

  Odd, but even the idea of placing this inside our mate’s round ass made my cock grow to a painful size.

  I searched the box for more, found nothing but a small piece of paper of instructions for proper use.

  I scanned it quickly. The device was a new model and designed to lubricate the inside of our mate’s body. But even better, it was adjustable, the joints movable so the sexual toy would be made longer or wider.

  Or both.
>
  We could start small and grow the device to the full size of a Prillon warrior’s cock. And no more need to search for lubricant or carry it with us for her comfort.

  Better, the plug easily fit in the palm of my hand, a convenient size to carry in a pocket.

  The image of pressing Erica between us in a random corridor, a lift, the gardens… Anywhere. We could take her anywhere, anytime. Insert the trainer and fuck her, preparing her for two cocks. When she was ready to handle both of us, we could insert it, prep her with the lube and then both of us could take her together.

  I envisioned filling her pussy with my seed—and my child—as Ronan filled her ass, and nearly came in my pants. Gods be damned, I wanted her. Even after knowing her, hell, even knowing I had a mate, for such a short time. When I awoke this morning, I hadn’t known of the destruction to Battlegroup Varsten. And I hadn’t known I’d have a mate.

  Right or wrong, I wanted her pussy around my cock, her cries of pleasure as we claimed her. I wanted her to scream my name as she came and whimper with pleasure as I filled her with my seed. I needed to learn what made her hot. What made her scream.

  Fuck.

  A commander did not give in to primal urges. Panic. Fear. Lust. Rage. Emotional decisions led to warriors’ deaths. Distraction led to destruction. I’d been strong for over a decade. One look at Erica and I was weak, too weak to resist what the Gods had given me. I wanted to spread her wide and taste her sweet pussy, fuck her with my tongue, touch her, everywhere. Mark her with my mouth. I wanted my fucking collar around her neck so no one would dare touch her or harass her in any way. Worse, I wanted my collar around her neck so she could never lie to me, so I would know exactly what she wanted. What she needed. So I could provide. Protect. Seduce. I wanted her to love me. Need me.

  And that was where my heart stuttered and I stopped myself cold. The collars, while a sensual pleasure for myself and Ronan, would be hell for her. She’d be with Ronan when he killed, with me when I mourned a warrior’s death. She would feel my terror at failing the fleet, the constant fear I buried so deep no one knew it existed. A commander didn’t have the luxury of being afraid, and so I buried my rage. My fear. Anything that would endanger my people.

  But she would feel it all. Gods help her, it was a curse I wished on no one, let alone my mate, the one female in the universe I was destined to love and protect.

  How could I deny destiny? It was as if fate, or the gods themselves, had a hand in her arrival. The fact that Ronan was here, now, alive? Finding him within minutes of discovering I had a mate? Statistically insane. He was a tough bastard. A spy. A liar. A killer.

  And if he claimed Erica with me, all of those skills would be used to protect her. I could think of no better second.

  And no second with a more disturbing mind. I had no idea where he’d been the last five years, or what he’d done. But I suspected his soul was a black as mine. Erica deserved better than both of us.

  “Kaed? I’m not waiting for you!” Ronan’s warning fell on deaf ears as I studied the small device in the palm of my hand. I should go in there and insert this in her sexy, round ass. That ass was mine now. Her curves. Her full, heavy breasts. Those lips…

  No.

  I looked beyond the anal plug to the blood coating my palm. That blood represented the true reality of my life. I groaned in frustration.

  I had no right to claim a mate. We had no right. Ronan and I were constantly in danger. Fuck, Ronan had pretended to be dead for years. He would have remained so if I hadn’t known him. Our jobs were too important to walk away from. I could not abandon my people and make Erica my top priority, as she deserved to be. Just like on the transport pad on board Battleship Varsten, the wounded came first. Then the war. Then her.

  It was wrong. I was wrong to want a female, a mate. Wrong to bind her to me. Wrong and selfish to claim her. She deserved better than me, than Ronan. She deserved a male who could put her first. Why the fuck did the testing program analyze the data otherwise?

  “Oh, god. Yes.” Erica’s voice drifted through the open doorway and broke through my brooding, the sound breathless and needy and full of desire, a voice I’d never heard before but was instantly addicted to.

  What was Ronan doing to her?

  Was his mouth on her breast?

  His tongue in her pussy?

  Was he tasting her?

  Touching her?

  Marking her?

  Making her love him?

  My clothes hit the ground as I walked, torn from my body. I ripped the fabric, the sound of rending and tearing a fine tribute to my current mood. I gave in, stopped fighting the need building inside me and let the monster free. It was good I wasn’t an Atlan, for I now understood what it was to be a beast.

  Naked, I entered the room to find Erica clean and wet, pressed with her back to the wall of the cleansing tube. Ronan was on his knees, his mouth on her sweet clit, his fingers pumping in and out of my pussy, her hands fisted in his hair. Her eyes were closed, those beautiful, expressive dark blue eyes. Storm clouds. The color was unheard of on Prillon Prime and I found them exotic and beautiful.

  “Open your eyes, mate. Look at me as he makes you come.” I recognized the command in my voice, was shocked by the sound. I had always imagined I would speak in gentle tones to a female, not this rough, dominating tenor.

  For a moment I thought I had scared her, but then her eyes opened and she looked at me, right at me, and I saw no fear there—just raw need. She was not averse to two mates. Two lovers. Doubly demanding and dominant.

  Our gazes locked and Ronan applied himself to his task, his fingers moving in and out of her pussy with thick, wet sounds as I watched her eyes grow dark, her cheeks flush, her nipples pebble. But her gaze held, our connection somehow seeming to arouse her more.

  Ronan growled, the sound very satisfied just as Erica’s body shuddered, every muscle going tight, her large, full breasts swaying with invitation. Her keening cry as she came all over his mouth and fingers made my cock literally pulse and leap toward her, a drop of pre-cum on the tip.

  Her cum. Her seed. Her male. I was hers now. Gods help her.

  Without asking, I moved to Ronan, who was still on his knees. Yanking him to his feet, I shoved him behind me and out of the shower tube. I stepped within and faced our mate. He protested, so I held out the anal plug and instructions for him. He took them and I stepped under the water, quickly washing. Watching Erica from Earth the entire time. I would not touch something so beautiful and precious with blood on my hands.

  “Gods bless us, Kaed. Did you read this?” Ronan asked from behind me. I could hear him stripping, hear the eagerness in his voice. He’d entered the tube with his uniform on, probably so focused on our mate’s needs he didn’t take the time to strip.

  “Yes.” I did not take my eyes from Erica’s. I had yet to touch her, the need building in me like a bomb about to explode. Clean now, I gave her my full attention. “Do you want this, Erica? Want me? Want us? Because if I touch you, there is no going back.”

  She lifted her chin, the top of her head not even reaching my shoulder. Her size was larger than Chloe, another from Earth. Every part of her was bigger. Big hips, big breasts, big ass. More for me to grab, to grip, to suck. Lick. Fuck. Her gaze was not just full of desire, but challenge. “Yes. I know what I want. I’m not a child, Commander.”

  “Kaed.” I didn’t want her to call me commander. I was not her commander. Or Karter. With her, like this, I was a warrior, a male, and nothing more. “I know I told you Karter earlier, but my mind was in battle mode. I would prefer you call me Kaed, my first name.”

  “Kaed.” The sound of my name on her lips made me shudder; still I did not touch her, allowing the anticipation to bubble through my veins like the strongest drug.

  “I am your primary male, Erica.” I tipped my head out of the tube. “Ronan is your second. Do you understand what that means?” I had to know that she understood what was about to happen. Ronan was,
perhaps, even more stubborn than I. If we claimed her, neither of us would be gentle with our words. We were hard, inside and out.

  Her skin turned an adorable shade of pink that I had seen only a handful of times before on the other human females I knew. It crept from her cheeks, down her neck and all the way to the hard tips of her breasts. Was our curvy mate feeling embarrassment? Desire? Perhaps both?

  “Warden Egara explained it to me. I knew… I knew there would be two of you.” The last three words came out with a wobble in her breath, as if she was having trouble getting air into her lungs. As if she were pleased with the idea.

  Good. So was I.

  “Gods be damned, Kaed. Get on with it!” Ronan growled from behind me, but I had him blocked. There was no way for him to reach Erica without my permission.

  “I will not rush this, Ronan,” I growled.

  “She is aroused and primed. I have her taste on my tongue. I could have given her three more orgasms by now. If you don’t want her, get out of my way.”

  “She is mine.”

  “And mine. Or have you forgotten that?”

  I frowned, watching as the mindless lust faded from Erica’s eyes. The impertinence of her words annoyed me even more. “Do you two need to get a room? I can come back later.” I frowned. A room? We were in a room.

  “No.”

  “No.”

  We spoke as one. In this, Ronan and I were in perfect agreement. I didn’t want her going anywhere.

  She tipped up her pert chin. “Well, I want both of you. Inside me. I want to come until I can’t remember my own name. I want the mating collar around my neck, so I know what you’re both feeling, like I had in my testing dream, and I want it all right fucking now, gentlemen. So, are we going to do this, or should I find the cafeteria, or wherever you all get your food, and grab a snack while you act like cavemen, beating your chests, trying to figure out who’s in charge?”