Burning Up

by Marie Coulson

  “You okay back there, sweetheart?”

  I nodded enthusiastically and tried not to seem so flushed. Turning my attention to Ollie, I put on my best acting performance.

  “So, Ollie, how’s your Monster?”

  The corner of his mouth curved up and turning his head slightly, he raised an eyebrow.

  “It’s perfect, as always. Powerful, big and just waiting for you. I know how much you loved to ride it.”

  My father gave us both a disapproving look.

  “Ollie has a Ducati Monster, remember, Dad? A red one.”

  He nodded slowly. “I remember, quite a machine. Does it get a lot of miles?”

  Oh dear God. Ollie grinned. “It gets around.”

  Holding my hands up to my red and embarrassed face, I groaned.

  “Layla, are you sure you’re all right? You look a little flushed.” Brushing my hair from my face, my mother pressed her hand against my forehead.

  “I’m fine, just a little warm in here. Can we drop you anywhere, Ollie? Aren’t you eager to get back home to Utah?”

  Ollie’s smile disappeared.

  “Uh, actually I’m staying with Eric for a while.”

  My eyebrows pinched together, and I looked at him with confusion. He wasn’t in Utah anymore? What the hell had I missed? Amy and Mel were clearly keeping more from me than I had thought. Well, it would all change now. Turning onto our street, my mother sighed with contentment.

  “Home, sweet home.”

  Wrapping her arm around my shoulders, she pulled me to her tightly as Dad pulled into the driveway and he and Ollie began unloading the bags.

  “You okay, baby?”

  I looked at her and shook my head gently. “I didn’t think it would be like this. I miss him, Mom. But I hate him, love him, and I’m so mad at him all at the same time. I’m confused.”

  She pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I know, sweetie. And what about the rock star out there?”

  I let out an exasperated sigh. “I don’t know. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t missed him. I have, Mom. I’ve been trying to forget about Ollie for months. I tried so hard, but I just couldn’t. Every time I heard his name, saw him, or even thought about him, my heart skipped a beat and feels as though it might tear its way out of my ribcage.”

  “Oh, baby. You still love him.”

  I gazed out of the window and watched as Ollie carried my cases to the door, talking with my father as he did so.

  “I never stopped. But I can’t go around in this circle again. Jared, Ollie, me … it’s history repeating, and I can’t do it all over again. Besides, Ollie is clearly still pissed at me. You could cut the tension between us with a knife.”

  “Oh, there’s some kind of tension all right. Have you even given Jared a chance to explain?”

  I shook my head in a definitive no. “There’s nothing to talk about. He keeps calling and leaving messages. But I’m not interested. There’s nothing to say.”

  Opening the car door, I pushed my way out and stood in front of the house. I had only been there for a minute when the sound of squealing caught my attention. Turning around, I braced myself as Amy and Mel came hurtling toward me. Throwing their arms around me, they held me tightly.

  “Oh, Layla. Are you okay? When you called we were so worried.”

  Mel gave me a quick squeeze before letting go and taking a small step back. Amy, on the other hand, clung to me for dear life. I gave Mel a pleading look, and taking Amy by the hand, she pried her off of me.

  “I’m okay. Well, I’m not okay, but I’m home.”

  Walking up behind me, Ollie cleared his throat.

  “I hate to break up this love fest, but I’m gonna make tracks. Snaggletooth, I need my ride.”

  Mel poked her tongue out at him. Taking me by the hand, he pulled me away from the girls to the edge of the sidewalk.

  “So, think you could grace us mere mortals with your presence at Benny’s later? I know you’re used to the finer things these days, but I figure one evening in a rundown bar wouldn’t kill you.”

  I sighed in frustration. “I’m not that fucking precious, Ollie. One, Benny’s is not a rundown bar; it’s my home away from home. Two, if it’s good enough for my friends, then it’s good enough for me, and three, why are you being such an ass? If you want me to come to Benny’s why don’t you just ask?”

  Gazing down at me, he lifted my chin with his hand. Our eyes locked, and I could feel his warm breath on my lips. My tongue instinctively darted out to moisten the dry and waiting skin on my lips. The tip of his nose was on mine, and as his body pressed closer to me, I felt my heart thunder faster and faster in my chest. Every part of me was begging for another body melting, knee trembling, and heart poundingly good kiss. I closed my eyes as he leaned closer and the cold metal of his lip ring grazed my bottom lip. I took in a sharp breath, waiting. Wanting.

  The warmth of his breath left my skin, and opening my eyes, I stared at him as he smirked back at me. Biting at his lip ring, he grinned.

  “Too easy. Come to Benny’s, don’t come to Benny’s. No one’s gonna hold your hand and drag you this time, Layla.”

  Turning on his heel, he went to talk to Amy and Mel who both spoke animatedly at him. Not to him, at him. He couldn’t get a single word in. Mel looked pissed, and Amy, she seemed to be more concerned with checking on my whereabouts. Mel pointed over at her garage and pressing the button on her keys, the door lifted slowly. Ollie gave me a quick glance and winked before heading over and disappearing inside. The roar of a motorcycle echoed around the street. Pulling out slowly, Ollie straddled his beautiful bike and pulled on his helmet. Dear God he was sexy. Ollie was a hot piece of man candy at the best of times, but when he was on that Monster, it had an intense effect on me. My knees weakened. My pulse quickened, and my breathing became heavier. It was sex on two wheels. Ollie was sex on two wheels. Looking over at me, I could just about make out his eyes through the dark tint of his helmet visor. Did he have to stare at me like that? It was disarming, and I needed a clear head right now. Turning away, I headed over to the house with Mel and Amy following behind me. Ollie’s bike roared again and sped down the street and out of view.

  Dear, God. I may not have wanted history repeating, but there was no mistaking the chemistry between us. It was alive and giving off sparks.

  * * * *

  Amy and Mel sat rigidly on the edge of the couch as I paced up and down, back and forth, like a parent scolding their children.

  “And neither of you thought it might have been a good idea to tell me he was coming to London? What if Jared had seen him?”

  “Hey, it’s none of our business what he does or where he goes. He had business to do there. Besides, you kept telling us how happy you were, but don’t you think we know by now when you’re putting on a brave face? You were miserable and you know it,” Amy snipped.

  Mel rolled her eyes and got to her feet. “What’s the big deal? So you ran into each other, had a drink, and got on a flight together. It’s not like you owe anyone a damn apology for it! We knew he might look you up, but hey, that was his thing. Not ours.”

  Slapping my palm to my forehead, I groaned. “And a phone call couldn’t have been made to give me a heads up? Or a text?”

  Amy snorted from the couch. “Well, you’d be the expert in that area. You know, emotional texts of mass destruction.”

  Looking back at Amy, Mel’s mouth curved into a smile. “Why are you bent out of shape over this, Lay? I don’t get what the big problem is. You said so yourself that Jared is a lying, sneaking, no good asshole who …”

  “I didn’t call him that! I said he just couldn’t stop treating me like his child rather than his girlfriend.”

  Mel shrugged. “Same thing.”

  Grabbing me by the hand, she pulled me over to the couch and yanked me down onto it with her.

  “What happened in London, Layla?”

  I glanced over toward the kitchen. My parents had retreated in t
here to give us some privacy. I think they were waiting for the all clear because they’d been in there for at least an hour now.

  “I found a deal breaker.”

  Amy and Mel exchanged perplexed looks. Slouching back against the cushion, I sighed heavily.

  “I found a letter from Alicia’s lawyer. She’s got a child. And she’s claiming it’s Jared’s.”

  Their mouths fell open and Amy gasped.

  “He’s a father!?” Mel yelled. I hurriedly held my hand across her mouth and darted my eyes at the kitchen. Nothing.

  “Will you keep your voice down? I said she claims it’s his child.”

  “Could it be his?” Amy leaned closer and stared at me in shock.

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. The timing lines up, I guess. We were apart so often, and don’t you remember how they were all over each other in the club that night?”

  Mel scowled and glared across the room at the window. “What a total bitch! And him, don’t even get me started on him! How did you even find out? How long had he known?”

  She was bombarding me with questions, and I tried desperately to answer each one but for most, I had no answers.

  “I found the letter in his office. It was dated back to April. He’s known for months. It could all be a huge ploy of hers and that sick and twisted ex-husband. God knows he’s capable of it. But even if it’s not true, he lied to me. He kept it from me. What else is he keeping from me? Is that why he’s kept the apartment in New York? Is it for her and the child? How long had he even known she was pregnant? I mean, what if it happened while he was in New York, thinking we were over. Can I blame him for that?”

  My head ached and my chest felt heavy as I thought of all the countless possibilities. Mel stomped, stamped, and growled with anger.

  “Don’t make excuses for him, Layla! That douchebag could possibly have a kid and even if he doesn’t, even if it isn’t his fucking kid and they are just trying to dick him over, why the hell has he been keeping all these secrets? And why the hell didn’t he want you to know about the apartment he keeps in New York? What the fuck is he hiding? He keeps you on a need to know basis, and clearly, you never need to know! Trying to protect you. Are you a child? Are you a fucking concubine? No, you’re a woman with goddamn needs, and if you want to see the city, go sightseeing, see your friends, or whatever, without a driver or bodyguard then you fucking see it. Fuck him, his money, and his blue eyes. I took Amy to see a movie and we took in water bottles full of cheap wine, a bag of M&Ms, and we had a great fucking time. Why? Because we could! Because that’s love, Layla! Not fucking and fighting all the time. Not choosing lingerie off skanky hoe bags in a hotel room. Not being watched and followed by your boyfriend and his stalkers, who know where you go and what time you change your goddamn tampon. Fuckin’ loser! I hate that asshole.”

  Amy and I stared at Mel as she ranted. She was like a woman possessed!

  “Pathetic little weasel and his pathetic excuses for the way he fucking acts! I suppose there’s one thing we should be grateful for, it finally gave you the boot up your ass to get the hell away from him. But more importantly, now that you and Jared are apart, I’m almost positive Alicia will know about it and when she does, her husband will too. You’re not a pawn in the Jared versus Felix game anymore. Let them tear each other apart. And let Alicia get her pound of flesh, too. You don’t need that shit! It’s their fucking mess! You’re twenty-one now! There’s a whole world of fun to be had and now you’re back here with us, I’m going to make damn sure you get it! Step one, getting you drunk, dancing, and back into college again!”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know, Mel. Classes started almost three months ago. I don’t think it’s such a good idea.”

  Amy huffed loudly. “I think you’d be crazy not to even try! Besides, what else will you do with your time? Lie around and wallow? Fuck no! Layla, you left everything for him and what for? Where did it get you? Stranded in London, broken-hearted and totally played! Has he called you?”

  “Only about a million times since I walked out of his office. He texts, leaves messages, and even emails. Not that I’ve read or listened to them. There’s nothing he could say that I want to hear right now. I’m sure it’s all sentimental bullshit and confessions of his undying love and devotion to me. It’s all crap and fucking worthless! I gave up my whole life to be with him. Was I always that fucking blind? Or just stupid? How the hell could I believe he would or could change? Lecturing me about honesty and not being irrational, when all the time, he holds his own fucking deck of cards! Asshole!”

  Amy nodded in agreement and pressed her lips together. There was clearly something on the tip of her tongue.

  “What is it, Amy?” I pressed.

  “I was just wondering … what happened when Ollie showed up?”

  Getting comfortable, I almost laughed as she and Mel moved closer to me and waited like children waiting for a bedtime story.

  “I was shocked.”

  “Shocked happy or shocked not so happy?” Amy asked.

  “Shocked and a little pissed. He was so arrogant, cocky, and he totally got a kick out of torturing me the whole time. And then, he started fighting with Daniel. He seemed really fucking sure of himself, too. Telling me how unhappy I was. Why do the men in my life seem to think they know what I think and feel better than I do? He didn’t have any fucking clue. It was luck.”

  Mel cast her eyes at the floor and winced. “Uh, that’s not exactly true.”

  Sitting forward, I stared at her in anticipation.

  “We, well, I, might have told Ollie how miserable you were. And, I might have encouraged him to go after you.”

  Leaping to my feet, I growled at her.

  “You did what? Mel, I … what the hell?”

  Mel stood in front of me and yelled, waving her hands around.

  “You were so unhappy. I could tell. And no matter what you keep telling yourself, you still love Ollie. You kept asking where he was, who he was seeing, was he okay. It was getting ridiculous. I’m so fucking tired of being between you two! Sort your shit out! Both of you. God, it’s like babysitting teenagers! Tell me you don’t still have feelings for Ollie, Layla. Go on, lie to my face.”

  Mel was practically my sister. No one could, or would, ever speak to me the way she did. She had a talent for calling me on my bullshit and when she did, it usually involved her yelling and me having to climb down off of my soapbox.

  “Fine, I love him! Is that what you want to hear? I love him. I haven’t stopped loving him, or thinking about him since he drove away from me that night at the dorm! When he’s near me, I feel like a teenager again. He makes me confident, fun, hot, and sexy. But sexy in a way I can’t even describe. Not the way Jared makes me feel. Something … more. Jared’s hot, heavy and passionate, and we have a burning and powerful connection that I’ve never experienced before. But Ollie, he’s sweet, funny, he cares about me, but most of all, he’s my friend. I trust him and at least I know he can be fucking honest with me. He doesn’t treat me like a fucking child. Jared? He’s so serious, boring, strict, and stiff all the time. It’s like dating a middle-aged businessman! Urgh, I don’t want to go around in this circle again. Ollie, Jared, Ollie, then Jared again. It’s making me dizzy!”

  Wrapping her arms around me, Mel grinned. “Jared Garrett never did and never will loosen up. He’s so uptight that I’m surprised he can even bend enough to sit down in his big important fucking office.”

  I nodded slowly. “Tell me about it. God, I’m so sick of men and relationships and my love life being so damn complicated! I think you two had the right idea. Maybe I should switch to girls.”

  Joining us in a hug, Amy giggled. “Now she tells me when I’ve already hooked on a ball and chain!”

  Mel swatted her playfully on the behind. “I’m open to exploration if you are.”

  I chuckled and shook my head. “Sounds great in theory but I just don’t think I have the stamina to keep up with you two.
”

  Amy smiled. “She can be a little too much. Okay, so if you’re not switching teams, what are you going to do?”

  Releasing them, I stood back, brushed the hair from my face and wiped the tears from my eyes that I hadn’t even known I was crying. It was one of those times where you’re so angry that your body doesn’t know quite what to do. You shake with rage, but all you can manage is a flood of frustrated tears.

  “Nothing. I’m going to do nothing. I’m tired of planning and trying to control my life. I’m just going to roll with the punches and be Layla for a while. I want to be Layla without a boyfriend, and Layla without the complicated stuff. Just … me.”

  Amy jumped up and down excitedly and grinned. “That’s our girl! And, I think we should celebrate her triumphant return with a drink at Benny’s tonight!”

  I gave Mel a wary look.

  “Gotta see him again sometime, Layla. He’s not going away anytime soon.”

  Rolling my eyes, I nodded. “I guess I have to get it over with, but he is being such a dick.”

  Mel shrugged. “That’s just Ollie. You didn’t expect him to be the way he was before you stomped all over his heart, did you? Besides, douche or not, you know you missed him.”

  Even if it were making my stomach churn and my chest ache with anxiety, I would have to just get it over with. Ollie was clearly not giving up, and as much as I was trying to convince myself otherwise, I wasn’t sure I wanted him to, either. I pressed my lips together and closed my eyes, thinking about that kiss. My insides were heating at the mere memory. What the hell would I do once we were actually in the same room? God, I needed help.

  Chapter 22

  Music To My Ears

  Benny’s was packed to the walls, as usual. Friday nights were always busy, but there seemed to be a distinct increase in the number of women at the bar. I nudged Mel who smiled back at me and shrugged.