Burning Up

by Marie Coulson

  Sitting on the couch, I sighed deeply as I read the latest news article. A picture of Jared in his favorite grey suit and dark shades was in the center of the page, and the article itself accused him of irresponsible behavior. Speculation was now also circling about my role in this mess. As I read further and further, my jaw began to clench as anger brewed and simmered in my veins.

  The article read:

  “Mrs. Felix claims her relationship with Garrett was horribly severed after his ex-flame, Layla Jennings, came to New York in pursuit of reconciliation with the property tycoon. Mrs. Felix confirms that she was already expecting the child and that Garrett was fully aware when he ended the relationship to rekindle and reconnect with his old flame. Jennings was believed to also have been aware of the pregnancy and at a social event, was seen to be noticeably riled when Mrs. Felix approached Garrett regarding the matter of care and access to the child. Garrett, who refuses to comment on the matter, is said to be discussing his options with top legal staff, and Mrs. Felix is also seeking legal counsel. Mr. Felix was unavailable for comment but is believed to be understandably angered at the revelations. Unable to have children themselves, Felix previously blamed their infertility for the breakup of his marriage but recently was heard to have admitted it was his wife’s relationship and infidelity with Garrett that broke the camel’s back. The once fond friends and business associates have been in a heated and brutal rivalry since it was revealed that Mrs. Felix had been having an affair with Garrett for a considerable amount of time. Garrett, after being jilted by his lover, then liquidized and withdrew funding from many of Felix’s major businesses leaving him in a dire financial situation. It can only be assumed that these new revelations will only reinforce the animosity between the two men further.”

  Slamming the paper on the cushion of the couch, I fumed, stomped, and paced back and forth. It was a good thing I was alone in the house, otherwise I may have appeared to be a little unhinged. Deciding I needed to get out of my head and away from the same four walls, I pulled on my sneakers and grabbed my car keys. I figured a drive and a little shopping would do me good. What I didn’t expect was to find myself standing outside the coffee shop instead of pulverizing my emergency credit card. Taking a deep breath, I pushed my way through the large glass doors. The place was relatively empty, and I was relieved to see that Kate was not behind the counter. I still hadn’t spoken to her since I found out about her one night stand with Ollie. It wasn’t that I blamed her, or even that I hated her; I was just … hurt. Ollie wasn’t my property, that was true, but it just wasn’t something you do. You don’t sleep with a friend’s ex. It’s like a cardinal girl code sin. I’d known that the two of them had sexual chemistry after his birthday party, but I didn’t expect to feel so insanely jealous!

  Ordering a large latte, I sat down at a corner table and began scrolling through the endless messages, reading each one over and over. My heart was heavy, and the sharp pain of our last encounter was still lingering. Jared and I had something special; well, I thought we did. But now all I felt was empty, cold, and angry. He’d lied, hidden, and kept things from me, and that, to me, was the worst kind of betrayal. You can’t love someone so deeply yet share nothing of yourself. You also can’t practically collar, low jack, and monitor their every movement. It’s not right. Jared had become more like my body guard or a damn cop watching everything I did. Who I was with, where I was going, and since I’d walked out, I’d finally been able to breathe for the first time in months. Jared was slowly suffocating me, we just hadn’t realized it. The texts and emails professing his devotion, innocence, and undying love were failing to move me anymore. The words felt empty. I didn’t trust him anymore and his broken promises were finally taking their toll. He’d promised to give me honesty. He’d promised to ease up on his stalking, and he’d promised to never hurt me again. He’d failed.

  The dinging of the bell over the door caught my attention, and as I glanced up from my drink, my eyes fell on a tall, golden-haired, blue-eyed god among men.

  His eyes met mine, and for a moment, I couldn’t breathe. My heart skipped a beat, and my pulse raced. Damn him for having that effect on me! His eyebrow raised, he strode over to me, and pulled out a seat. I stood and moved to leave, but grabbing my wrist, he pulled me back to the table with a gentle tug.

  “Please. Just five minutes?” he pleaded.

  Closing my eyes and taking a deep and calming breath, I nodded before taking my seat across from him.

  “Five minutes. Though I’m sure I can sum everything up in less than one,” I sniped.

  “Layla, don’t be like that. I just want to talk. You’ve been avoiding and diverting my calls for weeks, and I’m going crazy! I haven’t been able to eat, sleep, or think straight since you left. I can’t believe that you think I would cheat on you with Alicia.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t think you cheated. I don’t even believe that the damn kid is yours. Alicia is a scheming and money grabbing harlot, and I wouldn’t put it past her to pull this kind of shit.”

  Sighing with relief, Jared leaned back in his chair. “Then what the hell is the problem?”

  Leaning forward against the table, I gripped the edge and spoke in a harsh but quiet tone. I didn’t want an audience and with the media watching him, I didn’t want the attention.

  “The problem? The problem is you still can’t be honest with me! You should have told me about Alicia. You should have been honest with me from the damn start, but you weren’t.”

  He shook his head slowly and stared at me with determination. “I was trying to protect you to keep you safe. I had no choice. Do you have any idea how dangerous her ex-husband is? He’s fucking deranged, Layla. He followed us to Europe! He was there. He was also at Arthur’s function. He’s been watching us.”

  I swallowed hard as fear crept up on me.

  “I think he called me,” I whispered.

  Jared’s eyes scanned mine and a look of worry was painted across his face.

  “When? What did he say?”

  I shrugged. “Before we left for London. He didn’t say anything. I can’t even be sure it was him. It was just someone breathing down the phone. I figured it was some pervert or someone trying to scare me.”

  Pulling out his cell, Jared dialed. “Peter? He’s got Layla’s cell phone number. I want a blocker put in place immediately. Anything suspicious, report it.”

  As he hung up, I gave him an exasperated look. “Even now, you just can’t stop can you? I’m not your child. I don’t need protecting. Damn it, Jared. How can I make you understand? I wanted us to be more than just lovers who fuck and fight all the time. I wanted to be friends, but you can’t stop being my parent!”

  Reaching across the table, I took my hand in his and gripped it tightly.

  “I was trying to stop you from being dragged into a mess that has nothing to do with you.”

  Cutting him off, I yelled in his face. “Nothing to do with me? Are you serious? I was your girlfriend. Have you seen this morning’s paper? They’re accusing me of stealing you away from poor, pregnant Alicia! I’m being painted as the home-wrecking bitch!”

  Letting go of my hand, he growled in frustration. “Layla, calm down. It’s a tabloid, and tomorrow it will be lining kitty litter trays. It’ll be exactly what it is right now, covered in shit. You know the truth.”

  I snorted a laugh. “Do I?”

  He raised an eyebrow at me, and I confess, I almost melted as the stern and dominant tones of his voice carried through the air. “Don’t do that, Layla. It insults your intelligence. You know I wasn’t with Alicia. I was distraught and still trying to get over you.”

  Maintaining my composure as he stared at me with a burning intensity, I shook my head. “And what about when we first broke up, Jared? Can you honestly tell me you never slept with her? How can I ever believe you? You hide everything from me and lie to me all the time. You know my every move, breath, hell you probably know my social security num
ber. But I know nothing about you!”

  “You know everything you need to know,” he said defensively.

  “Which is absolutely nothing! I may know your name, your business, and what turns your screws, but I still have no idea who you are one minute to the next! Jared the businessman. Jared the playboy and socialite. Jared the sex-pert, and Jared the damn stalker is all I know!”

  “I love you! That’s all you need to know.”

  I groaned and rolled my eyes in frustration.

  “It isn’t enough!”

  A loud cough caught my attention, and looking around, I noticed people were beginning to stare. I let out a long breath and closed my eyes, trying to calm myself.

  “I’m going to therapy.”

  Opening my eyes, I stared at him in surprise.

  “I’ve been seeing a shrink since I got back to L.A. I knew if I stood any chance of winning you back, I had to do something. So, I called a shrink, and I’ve been having sessions twice a week.”

  I blinked several times as my mind came to terms with what I was hearing. Jared Garrett had taken someone else’s advice! I could see the hope in his eyes, and I knew what he was thinking. I needed to tell him straight, and I needed to do it now.

  “Seeing a shrink won’t fix us, Jared.”

  Nodding slowly, he hung his head and stared at the table.

  “I know that. I don’t expect you to come running back to me, Layla. But you have to know I’m trying to make this work. I’m trying to change. I want to be with you, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy.”

  I shook my head in despair. “See, right there. That is why it won’t fix us. You can’t do it for us or me. You have to want to change for you. Jared, I never asked you to change who you are, I just wanted you to let me be who I am and to stop trying to control everything … including me. You never trust me.”

  His eyebrow furrowed and suddenly I saw a look that I recognized immediately. Irritation.

  “Layla, you hardly give me reason to trust you either. Secret birthday gifts to ex-lovers. Disappearing in cities you don’t know where anything can happen to you. Flying thousands of miles alone, where again, anything could have happened to you. You have no care for your safety or my damn sanity. Felix tried to rape you. He attacked you, and he’s been following you and I around Europe! Do you not see the danger? You want to be treated as an adult, yet you continue to need looking after and scolding like an irresponsible and defiant child! I love you, Layla, and I will not sit back or stand by and watch you get hurt. I won’t apologize for that.”

  He sounded like a broken record. Pushing out my chair, I looked at him with exasperation. “Then we really have nothing left to talk about. You won’t stop acting like a stalker, and I won’t be able to trust you when you keep things from me.”

  Rolling his eyes, Jared raked his fingers through his hair. “You are so damn infuriating and hypocritical. You think I don’t know about Green?”

  I wondered what the hell he believed he had discovered and worried about what he actually had discovered.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jared.”

  He gave a sarcastic laugh. “I know you love him. You can deny it, but we both know it’s true. It’s why you sent him a gift.”

  I scowled at him. “It was a birthday present.”

  “Layla, a personalized music book is not just a birthday present! And if it was so fucking innocent, why did you keep it from me?”

  “Because it was nothing. It was just a gift.”

  Looking across the room briefly and then back to me, he raised an eyebrow.

  “Are you fucking him, yet?”

  Anger was building inside me. “I am not even going to dignify that with an answer!”

  I stood abruptly and moved to leave, but he caught my hand in his.

  “Don’t run away, Layla. We need to talk.”

  I snatched my hand from his and slapped him hard around the face. The sound echoed around the shop and we were now very much the center of attention. My face flushed with embarrassment. Clutching my hand, Jared stood and began dragging me toward the counter and through to the back where the office was.

  Pulling me inside, he slammed the door and pressed his back against it.

  “Damn it, Layla! You’re torturing me!”

  I backed myself against the far wall and panted as adrenaline raced through my veins. I watched him carefully as he began to pace back and forth across the room.

  “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t stand the thought of you with him, near him, or even that you think of him at all. The whole time you’re with me, I constantly wonder if you’re thinking of him … and don’t tell me that you never do.”

  I shook my head in a definitive no.

  “I won’t lie, Jared. I thought of Ollie a lot. You don’t just stop loving someone. I couldn’t just switch it off. I know that hurts, but maybe it’s time for a little fucking truth around here!”

  Striding over fast, he pressed against me. His broad chest was heaving against mine and his eyes were ablaze with rage.

  “I won’t share your affections with him, Layla! It has to be all or nothing.”

  I pushed myself against him forcefully, trying to move him backward away from me, but his hot, muscular, and hard body was a wall against mine. “Of course it does! It’s always that way with you!” I sniped.

  He lowered his voice, and raising an eyebrow, he sneered at me. “Keep pushing me, Layla. I won’t be toyed with. There’s only so much a man can take before he breaks, and the thought of you with him is chipping at my patience.”

  Never breaking eye contact, I smirked back at him. “Drives you crazy, does it? The thought of him touching me, his hands on my skin, his fingers in my hair, and his lips all over my body?”

  Taking my wrists in his hands, he lifted them above my head and pressed me further against the wall.

  His lips lowered to my ear and the heat of his breath on my neck sent a familiar warmth and erotic message to the rest of my body. We had our problems, but there was one thing Jared always got right. He knew just how to push my buttons, rev my engine, and make me hot.

  “It doesn’t drive me crazy, Layla. It drives me to fucking murder! It makes me insane with jealousy, and worse still, is knowing that you enjoy making me feel it.”

  He was right. I did enjoy it. It felt justified, and somehow I felt that I was getting even. Was he really so blind that he didn’t realize how much hurt and pain he’d caused me?

  “Damn right, I enjoy it! You have no idea what loving you does to me, Jared! It hurts! The lingerie models, the lies, the hiding, the stalking, the thing with Alicia, and the fucking media frenzy. My life has been turned on its head and I’m dizzy with it all. I’m tired and I’m done crying my eyes out over you. I can’t take the pain anymore. I can’t be what you want me to be.”

  Releasing my hands, he stood back and gazed at me.

  “You are everything I want you to be and so much more. Layla, I … I don’t know what to say. I’ve made mistakes, but everything I’ve done has been for you.”

  Tears rolled gently down my cheeks. “No, you did it for you. You did it because you don’t trust me. You don’t trust how I feel, and no matter what I do, it’ll never be enough. I left everything for you. I chose to be with you, and yet you still couldn’t believe that you were what I wanted. It’s why you follow me, lie to me, and hide things. You’re so afraid that I’ll leave you, you didn’t notice that you were pushing me away.”

  Rushing to me, he cupped my face in his hands and lifted my chin. His deep blue eyes were glistening with the tears he was clearly trying to hold back himself.

  “Please, Layla. Don’t give up on me. I told you I’d get it wrong, and I hate seeing you like this. It tears me apart.”

  I shook my head ruefully. “I can’t do this anymore. We go around and around in circles, and my heart can’t take another cycle of us.”

  Pressing his forehead to mine,
he pressed his lips gently to mine. “Please.”

  Trailing his kisses sweetly and slowly over my face, his thumbs wiped my tears away.

  “Please, Layla. I love you.”

  As his mouth closed over mine, I couldn’t fight the instinctual response. My tongue slid into his mouth, searching for his. My teeth nipped gently on his bottom lip as he kissed me with a hungry and carnal passion. I moved my hands to his face, cupping it, before slowly gliding them up into his hair and tangling my fingers in the luscious golden locks. I pulled and tugged, urging him closer and deepening the kiss. My insides were aching from the need and lust building inside me, and my knees were buckling from the warmth between my thighs. My body knew Jared’s touch and the way his hands began moving temptingly over the curves of my breasts, was tempting me further. His voice was hoarse and breathless as he spoke between delicious and tantalizing kisses.

  “I need you Layla. I can’t breathe without you. I feel as though someone ripped the air from my lungs.”

  His hands glided down to my hips and his fingertips grazed the exposed flesh between my jeans and my shirt. I gasped slightly and the sensation. A shiver ran through me and my breathing became harsh and rapid. Jared’s lips caressed my collar bone and I let out a soft moan. The aching between my thighs was intensifying, and as he pressed against me, I could feel his long, hard erection against my leg. My hands released his hair, and taking his shirt in my hands, I hurriedly unbuttoned it. My fingers teased and stroked his firm, hard chest. His caramel skin was calling to me. His lips left my neck and his hands began unzipping my jeans. I panted and bit my lip, and my own fingers unzipped his pants with the same eagerness. His erection sprung free, and taking it in my hand, I began rubbing it up and down, back and forth. His own hand dipped inside my panties and gently fondled my swollen clit. I rested my head back against the wall and looked up at the ceiling, arching my back and thrusting my hips as his fingers rubbed and massaged me.