The Disappearance of Ember Crow

by Ambelin Kwaymullina

  I frowned, digesting that. I felt distinctly uncomfortable at any criticism of Hoffman. He’d been the one to tell everyone about the Balance, and I knew how right he was about that. I’d felt the harmony of life when I’d come to the Firstwood. Although I guessed my grandpa was part of that Balance, and I didn’t think Hoffman had ever written about ancient earth spirits. Maybe even he couldn’t know everything.

  “What exactly did Ember say about angels?” Connor asked.

  “Um, nothing. I don’t think it’s important.” Then, both to distract him and because I wanted him to know, I added, “Connor, in the memory, she said I was going to find out bad things about her.”

  “What kind of bad things?”

  “I have no idea! Except it can’t be to do with her life in the Firstwood, because there’s nothing I don’t know about that.”

  “What about her life before?”

  “Well, I know her dad was heavily involved in the reform movement in Spinifex City, and he had contacts all over the world. He got sick, and they came here, using the tunnels beneath the forest, the ones that are collapsed now. He died on the way.”

  Three sentences, and it was a pretty good summary of all the information I had. I’d never noticed until now how little Ember had really told me. Then again, most of the Tribe didn’t talk about their lives before, because their stories weren’t happy ones. Too many of us had run from parents who would’ve handed us to the government in a heartbeat if they knew we had abilities. We all started over in the Firstwood.

  “Do you think everything could be connected somehow?” I asked. “That the Adjustment could have something to do with Ember going missing?”

  “Anything’s possible, although I don’t see an immediate link.”

  I didn’t either, but he was better at figuring out how things fit together than me. Except there’s pieces missing from this puzzle. The things Ember hadn’t said. The secrets she’d concealed. “I can’t understand why she kept things from me!”

  “She might have been afraid of disappointing you. Ember needs you to think well of her, Ashala, more than anyone else in the Tribe.”

  “I would never judge her.”

  “You don’t know what she’s hiding.”

  “It doesn’t matter. She’s my best friend!”

  He smiled one of the heart-stopping smiles that always left me a little breathless. “You would say that. You don’t love anyone halfway.”

  I smiled back, and the two of us walked on – in silence again, but not an uncomfortable one. Eventually, we reached the Firstwood and made our way through the trees, following the trail that led to the caves.

  We hadn’t got very far when a black dog came pounding out of the forest.

  The labrador took a huge leap and planted two paws on my waist. Ember’s dog? It had to be. “Sit! Um, Nicky, sit!”

  He sat, staring up at me adoringly. I petted his head. He slobbered all over my hand. “He’s really friendly.”

  Connor was watching the dog in bemusement. “He didn’t react quite so enthusiastically to anyone else. Are you sure you don’t know him?”

  “Never seen him before. And the kids were supposed to be taking care of him. What’s he doing so far from camp?”

  “You can’t keep a dog penned up in a forest, and they would have been able to judge whether he could watch out for himself,” Connor replied. “He did make it all the way to the Firstwood on his own, remember.”

  As if to prove his independence, Nicky bounded off. Then he stopped, waiting for me to follow.

  “Woof! Woof!”

  “We’re going in that direction anyway, silly.”

  Nicky barked again, more urgently this time. Uneasiness threaded through me. “Connor, I think we should get back.”

  We followed the dog, jogging to keep up. He never ran too far ahead; he was clearly taking us somewhere. Should we fly? Only I wasn’t sure where Nicky was going, and we’d outdistance him in the air. You’re jumpy because of everything that’s happened. There’s probably nothing to worry about.

  Only it didn’t feel like there was nothing to worry about.

  There was a sudden whoosh of air along the trail in front of us. Another second, and Daniel materialised. He must have been pushing his Running ability hard; that was the only time he was impossible to see.

  “What’s wrong?” I demanded.

  “It’s Georgie. She’s lost. In a future.”

  I didn’t need to hear that twice, and nor did Connor. Air pressed in around me, and the two of us began to float upwards. “Bring the dog!” I called to Daniel as Connor and I neared the treetops. Then we cleared the forest and shot through the sky.

  We hurtled along at incredible speed. It still wasn’t fast enough for me. I have to reach Georgie! I’d always been the only one who could pull her back into reality when she got so caught up in a future that she couldn’t tell a possibility from the real world. Connor and I plummeted down to land at the north-eastern entrance to the cave system. I charged forwards only to have him grab hold of my arm. “Look, Ashala!”

  I looked, and saw them. Spiders. They were everywhere, crawling over the walls and spilling over the entrance in a boiling mass of furry grey bodies.

  “I could try to blow them out of the way,” Connor offered.

  “We can’t hurt them; they’re Georgie’s animal. Besides, there’s hundreds … thousands … um, lots.”

  I stared at the spiders in frustration. I wanted to run right on through. I’d be risking my life if I did. A bite from one of the big ones would kill in seconds, and while they usually understood to leave us alone, they obviously weren’t thinking straight right now. “I’m going to try to talk to them.”

  Connor cast a doubtful glance at me.

  “It’s not the same as Ember’s crows,” I told him. “You know how strong Georgie’s link is with the spiders, and they’re frantic. They understand something’s wrong with her. I’m sure I can get through to them.”

  He let go of me, and I inched closer to the entrance. Not very much closer, but I hoped the spiders would appreciate the gesture.

  “Hello, spiders. It’s me, Ashala. Georgie’s best friend – well, one of them. Ember isn’t here.” I tried to radiate calm. Animals could sense when someone was anxious. It was hard when it was making me really nervous to be standing in the vicinity of all those huge fuzzy bodies … twitching legs … miniature eyes … Stop it, Ash!

  “I know we’ve never exactly been friends,” – because I’m terrified of you – “but we both care about Georgie, and she’s in trouble. You know she’s in trouble. And I can help her.”

  Slowly, the spiders began to shift, retreating from the entrance in a creepy living carpet. They moved off the floor and walls, huddling onto the ceiling where they usually lived. There were still a lot more of them than normal but they weren’t going crazy any longer.

  Connor held out his arm. “We go together. Do you know exactly where she is?”

  I clasped hold of him. “She’s in the cavern where she’s been building her latest set of maps.”

  “You’re certain of that?”

  “Positive. I stopped by to see her before.”

  We barrelled into the cave system, propelled by air down one corridor after another until we finally burst in on Georgie. She was sitting on the floor, writing on the ground with a piece of chalky stone. The spiders above were making little wailing noises; it sounded as if there were hundreds of them up there.

  I crouched down in front of Georgie. Connor stood at my side, ready to fly us out if he needed to. Reaching out, I pushed back Georgie’s hair so I could study her face in the soft glow of the solar lamps. Her pale eyes were staring at nothing, and her mouth was forming soundless words.

  It was no wonder the spiders were crying; I wanted to howl too. “Georgie, it’s Ash. Can you hear me? You have to come back.”

  She didn’t respond. I hauled her onto her feet. Her hand was twitching, moving through air l
ike she was still writing. I pried the stone from her fingers and threw it away. The spiders went quiet. I didn’t know if that was better or worse.

  Grabbing hold of Georgie’s shoulders, I flat out yelled, “Come back. I can’t lose you too!”

  For a horrible second there was no change. Then she gave a slow blink; once, then again. “Ash?”

  “Yes! Yes, it’s me.”

  She looked around the cave as if she’d never seen it before. “Is this the real world?”

  I almost laughed in relief at the familiar question. “Yes, Georgie. This is the real world.”

  Her gaze wandered down to the markings. I turned her away from them. “This world is real and the other one, whatever you were seeing, that was a future. It wasn’t real.”

  To Connor I whispered, “Get food, water. Now.”

  He left, and I steered Georgie across the floor and through an opening that led into a smaller cave. There were no solar lamps in this one, but the far wall was peppered with small holes that let in light from outside, enough for me to see by as I settled Georgie onto her bed-roll. She liked to sleep here sometimes, near her maps. I sat next to her and gripped her hand. “See, these are the caves, your caves, Georgie. And the spiders are quiet now; I think they were really worried about you. They’re pretty scary when they’re upset – or at any other time …”

  On I went, anchoring Georgie in the present with the touch of my hand and the sound of my voice. There was a familiar whooshing noise and Daniel appeared, holding Nicky in his arms. He set the dog down and came to sit opposite us. I kept on talking as Nicky sniffed about the cave and Daniel watched Georgie with quiet, focused intensity.

  Eventually, Connor returned, bringing with him a flask of water, a jar of honey and some of the flat, nutty bread we baked in the ashes of a fire. He handed the flask to me and the food to Daniel before retreating back into the other cavern. He knew better than to crowd Georgie with too many people right now.

  Daniel and I got Georgie to drink and eat. She started to seem better – more solid somehow, and definitely present in this world. I heaved a sigh of relief. Georgie hadn’t got lost in a really long time. It was my fault. I’d asked her to find Ember, and she must have tried so hard that she’d become trapped in whatever future she’d seen.

  She finished off the piece of bread she was eating, and yawned. “I’m tired, Ash.”

  “You should sleep.” I shifted to the side so she could lie down. She pressed her head into the pillow, and I stroked her hair as her breathing grew heavy. Most people looked unguarded when they slept, more vulnerable. Georgie’s face didn’t change, because she didn’t have any walls between herself and the world. I was glad she was here, cocooned in her caves with her spider-guardians, where no one would bother her. None of the Tribe could come in to this side of the cave system unless they were accompanied by me, Daniel, Connor or Ember. Georgie had asked me once if she should add more Tribe members to the list of people the spiders allowed into this part of the caves. I’d told her no, for the same reason that very few of the Tribe knew Georgie could see the future. She needed to be protected from the pressure of other people’s expectations, and to have a place where she could be completely herself.

  After a while, Connor stuck his head around the opening. “Ashala. I think you should come and see this.”

  I hesitated.

  “I’ll stay with Georgie,” Daniel said.

  He was about the only other person I’d trust to watch over her; I didn’t know what it was between the two of them, but he’d always understood Georgie in a way very few people did. I nodded and followed Connor out, Nicky trotting at my heels.

  Connor had moved the solar lamps, setting them in a circle that enclosed the marks on the floor. I stood at his side, staring down at what Georgie had written. Brackets. Numbers. Letters. Weird symbols. Equations?

  I shook my head. “You remember I left school when I was twelve, right? And Ember’s maths lessons never really stuck.”

  He snorted. “I didn’t leave school when I was twelve and I don’t understand most of this. It’s far too advanced. See this, though.” He pointed. “And again here and here.”

  It was the same set of numbers repeated over and over. 87543621.

  When Georgie made her maps, the same object appearing more than once meant it was important. Only I couldn’t understand how this was important.

  “Have you seen those numbers before?” Connor asked.

  “No! And – what are the equations supposed to mean? That there’s a future where Ember’s hanging out with a maths professor?”

  “I don’t know. I was hoping you might recognise the numbers.”

  “Well, I don’t.” I rubbed at my eyes. They were scratchy and sore.

  He glanced at me. “You’re exhausted. You should sleep.”

  “I can’t sleep. You know that.”

  “You could take the herb.”

  One of the herbs that grew in the forest put me into a sleep where I didn’t dream and therefore couldn’t Sleepwalk. Unfortunately, I couldn’t use it for sustained periods, because if I did I started hallucinating. Apparently, I needed to dream. It would do no harm to take it for one night, though. Only …

  “If I take that herb, you won’t be able to wake me up if Georgie has any more problems.”

  “Then at least go sit down. I’ll keep working on this.”

  I scowled at the mysterious equations. But if anyone was going to figure out maths, it would be Connor, not me. And I was tired, so much so that it was an effort to keep myself upright. The day had been full of shocks and changes, and it had drained my strength. I trudged back into the other cave to find Daniel had taken my place at Georgie’s head. He didn’t even look up as I sat at Georgie’s feet, just kept staring down at her sleeping face. It must have scared him when she freaked out. It had scared me too.

  Outside it began to rain. I could see it falling through the holes in the wall, and the scent of it filled the cavern. Nicky padded in to lie at my side, resting his black head on my lap. I patted his ears, leaning back and listening to the steady sound of the rain as it grew stronger and stronger.

  I don’t know when I made the terrible mistake of falling asleep.

  THE NIGHTMARE

  There were faces staring down at me. Every one made ugly by hate.

  Voices screamed, “Monster!”

  I tried to say no. I couldn’t. They’d broken my voice. They didn’t want to hear me speak.

  They didn’t want to hear me scream.

  My gaze fixed on one face. A girl. I knew her. And the others, although I couldn’t remember exactly how. But I remembered how I felt. I tried to form the words, so they’d realise I wasn’t a threat.

  I love you.

  The girl seemed to understand the shapes my mouth had made. For a moment, I thought she would stop the others. I thought she would tell them that I wasn’t a monster.

  Then she snarled, and turned her face away.

  That was when I knew. She had never loved me. None of them had.

  If I could have spoken, I would have said, You don’t need to take my life. You have already destroyed me.

  And, suddenly, I knew this wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real, because it was impossible that I was unloved. I had an entire Tribe to care about me. This had to be a dream.

  And in my dreams, I could do anything.

  I surged to my feet, ready to fight back. But my attackers vanished. I was somewhere else, somewhere dark and safe. A cocoon. Only I didn’t want to be here. I wanted to find the people who had been hurting me. Where did they go? Then I remembered. There was a faraway place where enemies of mine were gathering. My attackers would be there, I was sure of it.

  To get to them I had to break out of the cocoon.

  I channelled strength into my hand, then drew back my fist to punch my way out. Only I couldn’t move. An invisible force was holding my body still. Someone was trying to stop me.

  A strange
, winged being was standing to my left. An enemy. He had to be; no one else would get in my way. Except his power was no match for mine. I threw off the pressure that was keeping me in place, and lunged. He leaped back. And something flung itself between us.

  I staggered as two big paws thumped against my middle. A dog? The hound barked. “Woof. Woof. WOOF!”

  On that third bark, it all changed.

  I wasn’t in a cocoon any more. I was in a cave. Connor was standing in front of me, his back against the wall. And Nicky was trying to jump up and lick my face.

  Reaction set in, and I started to tremble. I pushed Nicky away gently, and bent over, resting my hands on my knees as I waited for the aftermath of Sleepwalking to pass. The shakiness and nausea would subside soon; feeling horribly emotional would last a little longer. When I could speak, I hissed at Connor, “You let me fall asleep?”

  “You were tired. Ashala–”

  “Did I hurt you?”

  “No.”

  I didn’t believe him. I knew he’d lie to me about this. And while the details of the nightmare were fading, I remembered wanting to attack a winged being, which had to be Connor. I straightened, looking him over. He seemed to be all right, but there wasn’t enough light in here to be certain.

  I staggered into the next cavern, knowing he’d follow, and grabbed a solar lamp. Then I held it up, peering at him in the glow. Still not bright enough. I scowled. Connor took the lamp away, reaching for my hand. “Come with me.”

  He led me along the passages, Nicky bounding ahead of us, until we reached one of the caverns that opened onto the forest. Connor put the lamp on the ground and strode over to stand where the daylight streamed in. “I’m fine. See?”

  I circled around him, checking for bruises and studying the way he was holding himself. He really was fine. I heaved a long, shuddering sigh of relief. And yelled, “What were you thinking? I could’ve killed you!”

  “You didn’t.”

  “You should have woken me up. Or run! Or, or, just got out of the way. Why did you even try to stop me? I was Sleepwalking, nothing would’ve hurt me.”