Crushed

by J. M. Snyder

  He saw Cindy on the staircase, scanning the crowds, looking for someone. For me. Nathan caught a glimpse of Herbert’s friend Roger’s wool cap. Damn, not now. Wes turned, followed his gaze, and shook his head.

  “No,” Nathan muttered, following him outside. “I guess not.”

  On the porch, the night cooled his face, the air slicing through the damp patch on his shirt and chilling his stomach, hardening his dick beneath the heavy material of his jeans. “Wow,” he laughed, his voice still raised even though he no longer had to yell to be heard over the music. “Tom draws in the crowds, doesn’t he?”

  With a nervous glance back at the house, Wes laughed. “You want to maybe go for a walk, or something?” Before Nathan could reply, he started for the sidewalk that hemmed the yard.

  “Sure,” Nathan said, letting Wes pull him along.

  The street was dark, unlit—there were no street lamps, no light to outshine the stars above. A few yards from the house, Wes slowed down, took Nathan’s hand off his waist, and held it in his.

  “You don’t still happen to have that pickup, do you?” Nathan asked. He liked the warm feel of Wes’s fingers folded around his.

  Wes laughed again. Out here, away from the party, it was an easy sound, light and carefree. “Unfortunately not,” he said. “I bet you Herbert has one—”

  “Oh, don’t even go there,” Nathan joked, and they both snickered into the night.

  Wes’s eyes flashed in the starlight. Nathan took a deep, satisfying breath, as if trying to draw the whole evening into him. I haven’t felt like this in forever. Like I’m sixteen again and invincible. You want a pickup truck? I’ll find you one. Or a Camaro, or a Porsche. Hell, anything you want—name it, it’s yours. The stars, the moon, me…just say the words and I’ll give you everything. He said a silent prayer of thanks for second chances and thought maybe, just maybe, tonight he’d put that box of condoms to good use after all.

  Tom’s block wasn’t very long—five houses down, and then the sidewalk crumbled to a stop and a chain link fence curved away beside the road. Wes ran his fingers down the fence as they walked, a steady, faint chinkchinkchink sound in the darkness. He started, “You know—”

  The sudden rattle of chains interrupted him, and a low growl rose from the other side of the fence. Nathan pulled Wes into his arms as a large Rottweiler ran up to them, all glistening teeth and beady eyes and incessant barking.

  “Jesus.” Wes gave a shaky laugh and ran an unsteady hand through his hair. “Where did that come from?”

  He looked up, his face mere inches from Nathan’s own.

  Finally.

  Nathan smoothed a hand down Wes’s cheek. “You should keep your hands to yourself.” Then, taking both of Wes’s hands in one of his, he added, “Better yet, let me keep hold of them for you. I’ll just stick them here for safe keeping…”

  Where were these schmoozy lines coming from? He wasn’t always this bad. But God, Wes was something else—not just a familiar face in a sea of strangers, but so much more than Nathan had bargained for tonight. He started to tuck Wes’s fingers into the front pockets of his jeans as he watched Wes’s face for a signal, a sign, something that might be read as encouragement. Those clear bright eyes were wide and so damn shiny, almost translucent in the light from the moon overhead.

  “Nathan,” Wes sighed. “I don’t think…”

  “You’d rather put them here?” Nathan asked, easing Wes’s hands into his back pockets instead. The palms cupped his ass and he could feel Wes’s fingers through the denim, rubbing at him, testing him. Brushing his cheek against Wes’s, Nathan whispered, “Do you remember—”

  “Yes,” Wes said. “God, yes. I never forgot.”

  Nathan took Wes’s chin in one hand to turn his face up toward him.

  “I used to have it bad for you, Nathan Gayle,” Wes whispered.

  On the other side of the fence, the dog’s menacing growl rumbled like thunder in the night around them. Though Wes spoke low, Nathan heard every word he said because he wanted to hear them.

  “You were the worst crush I ever had,” Wes said. He laughed, breathless, as Nathan’s thumb caressed his lower lip. “Damn. All through high school. You were the hottest thing there, you know that? I never missed a day, perfect attendance, just so I could see you. I went to all the basketball games, every single one.”

  Nathan smiled at that. “You should’ve told me,” he breathed. “We could’ve had more than that one night…”

  Wes sighed. “I would’ve loved that. You know, I thought I was over you long ago. I thought—”

  Nathan’s lips closed over Wes’s, cutting off his words.

  Chapter 5

  Nathan held Wes in place with hungry kisses.

  This is what I’ve been looking for all this time. Those other boys back in high school had nothing on you, Wes, and if you’d only told me how you felt then, we could’ve hooked up sooner, we could’ve kept in touch when you went away, and we wouldn’t have lost so much time.

  With Wes in his arms, everything came back to him—the clear, crisp night in early May, the sparkling cider at the prom that someone had spiked with scotch, the way Wes laughed at his jokes and couldn’t stop smiling at him, couldn’t stop staring into him, as if he wanted to devour Nathan with just those ice-chip eyes of his alone. They jitterbugged on the dance floor, their dates clapping as Nathan spun Wes around—the whole night shimmered in his memory, a whirl of faces; he could still remember the songs they’d danced to, the feel of Wes’s hand in his own, his smile and his eyes and his every touch.

  Then the lights had dimmed, the music slowed, and Nathan leaned against Wes on the crowded dance floor, slipped an arm around his waist, whispered into his ear, “Let’s get out of here.” Wes had nodded, taking his hand and leading him from the high school gymnasium, out past the football field, out to where his pickup was parked at the edge of the woods, just beyond the senior parking lot. There was a blanket in the bed of the truck, which Wes spread out for them to lie on, and they took off their tux jackets, draped the coats over themselves, huddled together beneath the stars. Nathan remembered kissing Wes first, tentative, unsure, but when Wes breathed his name, all tension fell away and they couldn’t get enough of each other.

  Like now. Nathan caressed Wes’s back as he pressed against him, his lips insistent, his tongue gentle. I want that night back, that eagerness, that lust, that boyish innocence and desire and God, can we maybe try to get that again? Don’t you feel it when we kiss, when we touch? Tell me it’s not just me, please.

  “Wes,” he sighed, trailing tiny kisses along his friend’s stubbled chin. Easing Wes back, pressing against him, Nathan murmured, “God, you grew up so damn fine, boyfriend—”

  A low growl interrupted them. “The dog,” Wes reminded him with a laugh. They were edging closer to the fence.

  Nathan tightened his arms around Wes’s waist and hugged him tight, mimicking the dog’s growl in the back of his throat as he kissed Wes’s neck. Wes smoothed his hands up Nathan’s back and shivered beneath him. “Stop it,” he murmured, but his voice held no conviction, and his hands pulled Nathan to him, didn’t push him away. “Nathan—”

  In the darkness the dog began to bark and a light came on in the house beyond the fence. Now Wes twisted out of his embrace. Catching Nathan’s hand, he pulled him farther down the street. “Come on,” he said as a porch light flicked on, illuminating the yard and the dog, as black as the surrounding night.

  Nathan stood his ground. “Wes—”

  A door opened, hinges creaking, then a woman stepped out on the porch. “Hey! You kids get the hell outta here!”

  With a laugh, Nathan broke into a run, tugging Wes along behind him. “Race you,” he panted, but he didn’t let go of Wes’s hand and, as the woman yelled after them, they chased each other down the street, their laughter streaming out behind them in the faint autumn breeze.

  A few yards from Tom’s house, Nathan stopped and caught W
es around the waist as he passed. “Got you,” he whispered, kissing the back of his friend’s neck. “You smell wonderful. Have I told you that yet?”

  Wes tried to extract himself but Nathan held on tight. “You just did,” he said, brushing Nathan’s hands away as they fumbled along his butt and crotch. “Nathan, not here. Someone—”

  “No one can see us,” Nathan murmured, kissing Wes. “Do you have any idea how long it’s been?”

  But Wes was pulling away, heading for the house, keeping some distance between them now that they were close to the party again. “A couple years?” he teased.

  He took Nathan’s hands in his just to hold onto them, presumably to keep them out of trouble, but Nathan stepped up behind him and wrapped his arms around Wes’s waist, hugged him back against him as they walked. I know you feel that, he thought as the slight bulge at his crotch rubbed against Wes’s butt. You’re doing that to me. You, Wes. His hands drifted lower to see if maybe Wes was just as interested and only playing hard to get, but Wes caught him before he got too far below the waist. “Nathan.”

  “I liked it better by the dog,” Nathan breathed as he kissed Wes’s neck. “At least back there you didn’t tell me no.”

  Coy, Wes said, “I’m not telling you no. I’m just saying not here.”

  Gravel crunched beneath their feet when they stepped onto Tom’s driveway. Nathan saw his co-worker’s Tacoma pickup, the metallic cab a deep red that looked almost black in the darkness. A few kegs of beer hunched in the back of the wide bed. “How about here?” he asked, letting go of Wes long enough to climb up onto the back bumper of the truck. “No one will see us in here.”

  Indecision flickered across Wes’s face. He looked at the house, a few feet away and well lit, but the party seemed to have moved inside—there were just a few stragglers on the porch now, couples making out in battered lawn chairs, and the music wasn’t so loud anymore. Someone must’ve called the cops, Nathan mused, climbing into the back of Tom’s truck. “I don’t know,” Wes said, frowning at him. “It’s not your pickup, Nathan—”

  “It’s Tom’s,” Nathan told him. “He won’t mind. Come on.”

  He held a hand out to Wes, who looked back at the house again. “Please?” Nathan whispered. “Out here it’s just us, that’s it. Please.”

  Wes sighed, but he took Nathan’s hand and stepped up on the bumper. “If anyone sees us…”

  Then he tripped climbing over the tailgate, caught his foot on the lock, and fell against Nathan, knocking him back. Nathan stumbled over an empty keg that rolled away beneath him and landed hard on his ass, Wes in his lap and already apologizing. “Oh, fuck, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean—”

  Nathan kissed the words from his lips. “You’re a little accident prone tonight, aren’t you?” he joked, but he was grinning—at least the guy was in his lap, his knee pressing right where Nathan wanted it. He leaned back, propping himself up on his elbows, and thrust his hips against Wes’s leg as he gasped in delight at the sensations that flooded his body. “It’s okay,” he sighed, throwing his head back. “Sweet Jesus, Wes.”

  A soft, damp tongue licked down the length of his throat, leaving a warm trail that cooled in the night air. “I thought I was over you,” Wes whispered, easing the collar of Nathan’s turtleneck down so he could kiss his neck.

  His mouth latched onto the hollow of Nathan’s throat, his tongue tickling between his lips, his teeth nipping the soft skin. The thought of that mouth on other parts of his body, his chest and his arms and his thighs, his cock, his ass, made Nathan thrust against him once more. His hands massaged Wes’s upper arms, kneading the thick flesh, his knee coming up between Wes’s legs as his friend pushed him back to the bed of the truck. He loved this, the weight of another on top of him, of Wes, his body still familiar after all the time that had passed, his kisses still as sweet. His hands relearned a path down Wes’s chest, his fingers remembering the nipples they tweaked, the flat stomach, the muscles sheathed just beneath the skin. Without hesitation his hands eased into his friend’s jeans and Wes moaned as he cupped an uncompromising erection, rubbing it through the tight briefs. “Nathan,” he sighed.

  Nathan loved to hear his name in that voice, that breathless, that full of need.

  Faint footsteps drifted through the heat of their touch, a soft crunch of gravel, and then Tom’s laughter separated itself from the music and the distant din of the party. Coming their way, but Nathan couldn’t seem to care about that right now. All he wanted was Wes above him, against him, in him so deep he’d never find his way out.

  Tom’s laughter grew louder. When Wes tried to pull away, Nathan held onto the waistband of his jeans, arched up against him, kept him close. “Don’t,” he breathed, wrapping an arm around Wes’s neck. He could feel how close they were, his own body aching, his dick hard. Wes’s briefs were already damp against his hand. “Please don’t.”

  The truck moved beneath them as Tom climbed up onto the back bumper. Wes looked over his shoulder and Nathan could see their friend backlit by the moon, smiling down at someone beside the truck. He hadn’t noticed them yet. “Only one full one left, honey,” he called out.

  Cindy. Nathan couldn’t resist a smug smile. Look, girlfriend—I found one on my own this time.

  Tom bent down to lift one of the kegs and saw them. For a moment they all froze and just stared at each other, stuck in place. Then Tom clamped his hands over his eyes. “I’m not seeing this.”

  Nathan laughed. “Tom,” Wes started, sitting up, “I can explain—”

  “I’m not listening. I didn’t see anything.” Raising his voice, he hollered, “Cindy? I found Nathan.”

  Cindy stepped up on the bumper. “Nathan, Herbert’s looking for you…”

  She saw him sprawled out in the back of the trunk, Wes running an unsteady hand through his hair, Tom with his hands over his eyes, still squatting by the keg. “Oh, shit,” she muttered.

  “Look, you guys,” Nathan began.

  But then Cindy was at his side, hauling him to his feet.

  “It’s not what you think,” he tried again.

  “It better not be.” Cindy glared at him, her nails biting into his arm. “I need your help.”

  “With what?” Nathan wanted to know, but the look on her face didn’t encourage further questions. He let her lead him to the tailgate. “I’ll be right back,” he told Wes, who nodded but didn’t meet his gaze.

  It’s okay, Nathan wanted to tell him. Really, it’s cool. Sure, it was a little awkward, their friends finding them like this, but really, hello. Weren’t they all adults here? Why the sudden discomfort? The narrowed eyes, the gasps of breath? Jeez, what did they think he did when he hooked up with a guy, sit around and talk?

  Maybe Cindy was just pissed Nathan hadn’t taken to the guy she picked out for him. Maybe Tom was afraid he’d go blind, watching two men kiss. Whatever the problem, they’d get things straightened out and he’d be back in a few minutes, back in Wes’s arms, and maybe they’d get a little bit further than mere kisses. Maybe he’ll come home with me. We can leave here and spend the night at my place. I like that idea.

  As he climbed out of the back of the truck, Cindy kicked Tom, her small foot almost knocking him over. “You better take care of this.” As Nathan helped her down from the truck, her fingers closed over his elbow in a viselike grip. “Don’t say a word,” she warned. “I don’t want to hear it.”

  Don’t worry. Nathan tried to shake her free, but she held on and wouldn’t let him go.

  Chapter 6

  Roger leaned against the front door and watched Nathan and Cindy as they approached, his eyes still hidden by those dark shades. Sitting on the porch steps, Herbert smiled when he saw them. “Nathan!” he said, rising to his feet. “Hey, I wondered where you’d wandered off to.”

  I found my own good time. Nathan forced a tight smile. “I still haven’t gotten that drink yet,” he muttered. “Cindy, do you think—”

  “I need you in
the kitchen,” she snapped, dragging him up the steps as she flashed Herbert a quick smile. “Just for a minute, sweetie, then he’s all yours.”

  Oh, Jesus, no.

  Would now be a good time to mention he’d found someone already? Just get it over with and let both of them get on with their lives? Because I’ve got the rest of my dance card filled for the night. He avoided Herbert’s calf-like gaze. And it’s not with you. Maybe you should take up with Roger here—

  “I’m gonna be heading out now,” Roger said.

  Nathan jumped at his voice, so soft and insidious, so damn close. He took a quick step back, then played off his uneasiness by running a hand through his hair.

  At Roger’s leering grin, Cindy stopped in the doorway and nodded. “Fine.”

  From the tone of her voice it was clear she was still upset. God, what did I do this time? He wondered if he should say he had to jet, too, just to get out of whatever punishment she was thinking up for him. Without releasing Nathan’s arm, she hugged Roger, her hand splayed flat as it patted his back as if she were afraid to mess up her nails. “Thank you guys for coming.”

  Herbert’s leaving, too? Nathan smirked. And here he’d thought his night couldn’t get any better.

  “It’s been great,” Roger said, but he didn’t sound all that thrilled. “Hey, you haven’t seen—”

  Cindy nodded as she pushed Nathan into the house. “In the driveway,” she said. “I’ll see you around, okay, Roger? Take care.” Music blared in the hallway, washing away the rest of whatever she said. “The kitchen,” she yelled, steering Nathan through the crowd.

  A handful of guests crowded around the breakfast bar in the small kitchen. “Out, you guys.” Cindy smiled at the feeble protests. “Come on, I got a whole house for you to crash in. I need this room. Just this one.” She shooed them out and closed the door behind them. It thumped against the door jamb in time with the music.