Wind Dancer

by Chris Platt

  Ali heard a noise from the other side of the barn, near the chicken pen. She decided to check it out and feed the chicks before she went inside. The sun was almost up.

  She turned the corner and stopped dead in her tracks. Danny sat in the middle of the chicken coop with both chicks nestled in his lap. His head was bowed and he didn’t look up as she approached. Was he asleep? Had he been here since he left the horses last night?

  “Danny?” She crept forward slowly, remembering what happened the last time she had surprised him when he was sleeping. Her brother’s shoulders were shaking. Was he crying? A knot formed in the pit of her stomach. “Danny?”

  He looked up and Ali could see the tracks of tears on his face. He stared through her like she was invisible.

  “Danny!” Ali opened the door to the pen and ran to her brother. The chicks scattered. “Danny, what’s wrong?” She dropped to her knees, grabbed his shoulders, and forced him to look at her.

  Danny blinked. “I don’t know what’s wrong.” He sounded childlike—not like a grown man who had been to war. “Something’s wrong and I don’t know what it is. I can’t even help myself.” He spread his hands in bewilderment. “What am I going to do, sis? I don’t know what I’m going to do. Tell me what I’m supposed to do.”

  Danny folded inward, his chin resting on his chest. She could feel his shoulders tremble. Several tears fell onto his lap. She couldn’t tell if they were Danny’s or hers.

  The weight of her brother’s sadness pressed down upon her. Danny had always been a rough-and-tumble kind of guy. Her strong big brother. What should she say to him? How could she make it better?

  Ali did the only thing she could think of. She leaned forward and hugged him. “Shhhh,” she whispered. “It’s going to be okay, Danny. We’ll figure this out … all of us. You, me, Mom, and Dad. We’re here for you.”

  Danny ran his sleeve across his eyes then returned the hug, holding on tight, as if Ali was the only thing keeping him anchored to the earth.

  Ali held her brother, making comforting noises and patting his back while Danny sobbed. She had to be strong. Strong for her brother, because right now he didn’t have the strength to fight for himself.

  One of the little chicks scrambled back onto his lap. Danny sniffed and lifted his head. His eyes were almost swollen shut; he looked like he’d been in a fight. “Well …,” he said. “At least the chickens still like me.”

  Then he burst out laughing. “What a sorry excuse for a soldier I am,” Danny said, “blubbering all over my little sister like I’ve lost my mind.” He set Ali and the chick aside and reached for his crutches, working his way up to stand. “Ali, don’t tell—”

  Ali tweaked his arm before he could get the rest of the sentence out. “No, Danny, I’m not going to promise not to tell Mom and Dad! You can’t pretend this didn’t happen!” She flung her arm out to indicate him, the chicken pen where he’d slept, the chicks, the breakdown he’d just had.

  She was so mad, her voice shook as she hollered. “You’re not going to brush this aside like you usually do!” She was sure that the neighbors could hear every word, but she didn’t care. “This scared the heck out of me, Danny. And it should have scared you too.” She put her hands on her hips and glared at him. “I heard you talking to Wind Dancer last night. I was sleeping in the truck.”

  Danny glared at her, but said nothing.

  Ali thought about all that had happened since her brother had returned. All the signs were there: the moodiness, the anger, the solitude, the depression.

  “Danny, you’ve got to talk to us about this,” Ali insisted. “You need help.”

  “I don’t have to talk about anything.” Danny turned to leave and the chicks scattered.

  Ali jumped up and ran to the pen’s door. She slammed it closed. “I know I’m younger than you and smaller than you, but you’re not getting out of this pen until we talk.”

  Danny tilted his head as if weighing her words. He backed up, leaning against the chicken coop, and crossed his arms. “Fine. Go ahead and talk.”

  Good, Ali thought, but now she had to figure out what to say to make Danny listen. “I’ve been reading a lot of things on the internet—”

  “Don’t believe everything you see online,” he snapped.

  Maybe Ali should just lock him in the pen and run and get her mom and dad. What chance did she have of convincing him of anything?

  Ali looked at her brother; really looked at him. Danny was twenty years old. He was missing part of a leg and his body was covered with scars from flying shrapnel. And then there were the scars she couldn’t see. The ones on the inside.

  She began to shake. “This is all my fault,” Ali said. “If I hadn’t followed you that day, Max wouldn’t have thrown me and I wouldn’t have broken my arm. Max wouldn’t have died and you wouldn’t have been sent off to the Army. You’d still have your leg and everything would be fine.”

  “Don’t say that, Ali!” Danny pushed off of the chicken coop and balanced on his crutches. “None of this is your fault.”

  “Yes it is!” she sputtered between choking breaths. “It’s all my fault, the stuff that happened to you. You were sent away because of me.”

  “That’s not true.” Danny took a few hobbling steps toward her. “I chose to join the Army. Mom and Dad didn’t send me. I could see I was heading down a bad path.” He moved a little closer. “This …,” he said, indicating his leg. “This is the fault of the men who set that bomb; not yours, not mine, not anyone else’s.”

  Danny lifted Ali’s chin. “Look at me, sis. None of my problems have to do with you.”

  Ali jerked her chin away. “Yes they do!” She took a step back. “It’s my fault, and now I can’t get through to you. I can’t make you understand that you need help.”

  He stared at her without saying a word, and that made Ali even madder. “You’re so stubborn!” She kicked at the dirt in the chicken pen.

  Danny reached for her, but Ali pushed him away, almost knocking him over. “Danny!” she cried as she reached out to steady him.

  Danny started laughing.

  “What are you laughing at?”

  “Us. That’s what I’m laughing about.” He shook his head. “Look at us two knot heads out here barking at each other and getting madder by the second.”

  The fight went out of her. “You’ve been so angry since you’ve come home,” she whispered. “I want you to get better and I don’t know how to make you get help.”

  “I understand, sis.” Danny hobbled forward and hugged Ali to his chest. “I got the message this time. Let’s get on up to the house. We’ll sit down with Mom and Dad and talk.”

  “You really mean it?”

  “I can’t promise you anything,” Danny said. “It’s going to be hard for me, and I’m not sure I agree with your assessment. But maybe it’s worth looking into PTSD.”

  Ali opened the gate to the chicken pen and held it for her brother.

  “Would you really have locked us in here?”

  “Yup.” Ali closed the door behind them and followed her brother up to the house. “I’m glad I didn’t, though. That would have been kind of hard to explain to Mom and Dad.”

  Danny glanced at her as they approached the back porch. “Oh, and Ali … maybe you—”

  “Don’t you dare ask me not tell Mom and Dad about this, Danny. It’s too important.” She reached out her hand to help him up the steps.

  “I know,” Danny said.

  Sixteen

  If either of their parents noticed Ali and Danny’s tear-stained faces and puffy eyes, neither said a word.

  “Mom, Dad, we all need to talk.” Ali pulled out a chair at the kitchen table for Danny, then one for herself. Her heart was hammering in her chest.

  “Let me call work and tell them I’m going to be late,” their dad said. He grabbed the coffeepot and set it in the middle of the table.

  Danny stared at his hands; clearly he wasn’t going to be any he
lp. Ali cleared her throat. “Danny has decided that it might be time to make a few changes.”

  Danny’s eyebrows rose at that one.

  “Is that true, son?” their mom asked. “What kind of changes are we talking about?”

  Danny stared at his hands a bit longer, then looked up. “Ali helped me realize I’ve been pretty withdrawn here lately. I don’t think I realized how much I’ve disrupted everyone else’s lives.” He picked at his fingers a bit, then continued. “I’m not willing to admit that I have PTSD or anything just yet, but maybe I should talk to someone. Maybe we could all go together.”

  Ali’s mom exhaled and reached across the table to take Danny’s hand. “I’m very happy to hear that.”

  “That’s very commendable, Danny,” their father said. “I’ll get a hold of the VA today and see what they have to offer in the way of family counseling.”

  Danny poured himself a cup of coffee and the family settled in for a long talk.

  By the end of an hour, they’d covered a lot of territory. Ali wasn’t sure they’d settled much, but Danny had agreed to consider some ideas, including going back into physical therapy with his new prosthetic and maybe contacting the Wounded Warrior Project. He still wasn’t willing to admit he had PTSD, but he agreed to speak to the Veteran’s Administration about it.

  Ali yawned. “It’ll be time to feed the horses again in another hour,” she said. “And Dr. Forrester will be here soon. I’ll wait up for him.”

  “Oh no you don’t, young lady.” Her mother pointed her toward the stairs. “I’ll do the feeding and handle the veterinarian. You and Danny get to bed and get some sleep. You’ve both had a long night.”

  Danny waved her off. “I’ll help you with this feeding, Mom,” he volunteered. “You can show me what they’re supposed to eat. Ali, you go to bed. Mom can handle the vet. I’ll eat in a bit and go to bed after that.”

  Ali was too tired to argue. Wind Dancer would eat better with Danny holding the bucket. This time she didn’t feel even a bit of jealousy. She kissed her mom and dad, hugged Danny, and trudged up the stairs. Boy, would she have a lot to tell Cara when school got out!

  Ali washed up and changed into her pajamas. It felt strange going to bed with the sun shining. She crawled between the clean sheets and hugged her pillow. Her eyelids drooped, but she fought to keep them open. She wondered what the vet would think about the small improvement in the horses. But, try as she might, Ali couldn’t fight sleep.

  Ali awoke to the sound of one of the horses whinnying and carrying on. It was still daylight, but she could tell that many hours had passed. Ali heard hoofbeats coming up the driveway and reached for her clothes. Cara had arrived.

  The screen door banged as she came down the steps. Danny’s voice rang out. “He’s gone!”

  “Who’s gone?” she asked. The vet? Jamie?

  “Wind Dancer!” Danny looked stricken. “Your horse is gone, Ali.”

  Misty neighed again. Now Ali knew why the mare had put up such a fuss. Her stablemate was gone! “How can he be gone? He can barely shuffle around his pen. How did he get loose?” Had she forgotten to close the gate?

  “I was the last one to feed them.” Danny held the door open for her, and followed her down the steps. “I … I’m so sorry. I think maybe I accidentally left the gate unlocked.”

  “Don’t worry,” she reassured Danny. “Wind Dancer couldn’t have gone very far.”

  Danny tried to keep up with her, but his prosthetic was slowing him down. “He seemed to be feeling a little better. He finished off the entire bucket of alfalfa and the doc gave him more of those electrolytes and antibiotics.”

  “What’s up?” Cara asked as she swung down from the saddle and looked around the corrals. “Where’s Wind Dancer?”

  “We think his gate was accidentally left open.” Ali patted Misty to calm her down. “Easy, girl, we’re going to find your friend.” She looked to Danny. “Where’s Mom?”

  “She’s checking the barn and nearby houses to see if he went there,” Danny said.

  Ali eyed the open desert behind their house. That was where she would go if she were a horse looking to be free.

  Evening was fast approaching. They had to find Wind Dancer before it got dark. Meanwhile, if he filled up on wild desert grass, he’d end up with refeeding syndrome for sure. And what about coyotes? If Wind Dancer fell and didn’t have the strength to get up …

  “Cara, can I borrow Dumpling?” Ali asked.

  Cara’s brows rose. “I thought you didn’t ride anymore?”

  “I’m about to start,” Ali said. “I’ll be back down as soon as I change into my boots. Can you put Wind Dancer’s halter in your saddlebag, please? I’m going to find him and bring him home.”

  Danny caught her by the arm as she hurried past. “You can’t go out there, sis. It’ll be dark soon. There’s no way Mom and Dad would let you go.”

  “Mom and Dad aren’t here.” She shook off his hand. “I have to go, Danny. I’ve got to find Wind Dancer before something happens!”

  Danny pressed his lips into a hard line. “It’s not safe for you to be out in the desert after dark, Ali.”

  “You’re not the boss of me!” Ali shouted. “We’re wasting time. And you can’t do it, so just let me go.” She saw the hurt look on his face and instantly regretted her words. “I … I’m sorry, Danny. I didn’t mean …”

  He nodded his head toward the house. “Just get your boots and go.”

  Ali hesitated, but she knew there was nothing she could say to make the situation better. She ran to the house. Inside, she grabbed a light windbreaker and some licorice vines, in case she was gone for a while. She hurried back to the corrals. Cara stood alone, shielding her eyes as she stared out into the desert.

  “Where’s Dumpling?” Ali asked.

  “Out there.” Cara pointed to a small speck in the desert.

  “Dumpling ran away too?”

  “No, your brother is riding him. He’s gone after Wind Dancer.”

  “What?” Ali cried. “Danny can’t ride. He’s going to get hurt. We’ve got to go get him.”

  Ali’s mom joined them. “That’s Danny out there on Dumpling?” She put a hand on her daughter’s shoulder and sighed. “Let him go, Ali. Wind Dancer needs to be brought home. And this might be something your brother needs to do.”

  Her mother was right. Besides, what could she do? It’s not like she could go after him on foot, and Misty wasn’t strong enough to be ridden yet. “We’ve got to call Dr. Forrester,” Ali said. “Even if Danny finds him, Wind Dancer might be in really bad shape.”

  “I’ll call the vet and your father,” her mother said. She started toward the house.

  “And I’ll call my mom,” Cara said. “I need to let her know I’m going to be here for a while. I want to make sure Danny and Wind Dancer make it back okay.”

  Ali nodded.

  “Ali, Dumpling’s a good horse. He’ll get them both home safely. And your brother is stubborn as anything. If anyone can do this, he can.”

  Ali starred out across the desert. What in the world made Danny climb on a horse and take off across the desert just before dark? He’d never really ridden before, and he was wearing his prosthetic. She hoped he knew what he was doing.

  Ali’s mom returned from the house. “Your dad is almost home, and Doctor Forrester will be here shortly. He’ll give Wind Dancer a complete examination when Danny brings him home.

  A few minutes later, Ali’s dad pulled into the driveway and stopped in a cloud of dust. “Any word?” he said as he got out of the car. “How long has he been gone?”

  “Almost an hour.” Ali’s mom fiddled with the bracelet on her wrist, spinning it round and round.

  “I’ll call Search and Rescue and put them on alert,” her father said as he took out his cell phone.

  Misty continued to pace back and forth on the fence line, stopping occasionally to look out over the desert and call to her friend. “Easy, girl,” Ali
soothed. “They’ll all come home safe in a bit.”

  “Danny’s going to be okay,” Ali’s dad said when he joined them after making the phone call. “That boy’s a survivor.”

  They stood in a row, staring out into the desert. Another thirty minutes passed. A small plane flew over, heading into the desert. “That might be the Search and Rescue crew,” Ali’s dad said. “If Danny makes it back okay—and I’m sure he will—Wind Dancer may not have the strength to come with him.”

  Ali’s legs grew weak. Did he mean that Wind Dancer might not make it out alive? Of course, that was a distinct possibility. Wind Dancer was in pretty bad shape. How could he have traveled so far from the corral in his condition?

  And what about Danny? Her brother struggled to walk across the living room with his new prosthetic. And he wasn’t a horseman. What if Dumpling managed to unseat him? Even if Danny caught up with Wind Dancer, how would he be able to maneuver without his cane or crutches?

  Dr. Forrester and Jamie arrived a few minutes later. Jamie gave Ali a quick hug. “It’s going to be okay. Your brother is a pretty tough cookie from what I hear. He’ll be back with that ol’ horse in tow before you know it.”

  Ali attempted a smile. “Thanks.”

  Dr. Forrester pulled out a couple of folding chairs and offered them to her parents. “I spoke to the Search and Rescue team a few minutes ago. They sent up a plane, but the pilot didn’t see anything from the air.”

  Ali’s mom sucked in her breath.

  “Now, just a minute, folks,” the veterinarian said. “That doesn’t necessarily mean anything bad. There’s a lot of territory to cover. Your son could have been in one of the canyons or in a long shadow when the pilot went over.”

  Ali’s dad ran his hand through his hair. “I think maybe it’s time to get the ground team involved,” he said. “It’s getting close to sunset. We need to get Danny home.” He glanced at Ali. “And Wind Dancer too.”

  Misty pawed the ground of her corral and snorted. Ali went to the mare, trying to calm her. Misty put her head over Ali’s shoulder, and the mare’s weight on her felt solid, safe.