Save Me

by Monahan, Ashley

  “So there’s no way I’d see him even if I wanted to.”

  “You’re not going to see him unless you change your life.”

  “I told you, I can’t.”

  “Even for your own god damn child?!”

  “I couldn’t for you. I can’t for him.”

  Tears streamed down Mercy’s cheek.

  “I will move on in time. It will probably take me years, I won’t lie, but you will ruin his life forever. Do you want to do to him what your father did to you? Abandon you? Not care about you?”

  “Of course not,” Marc said defensively.

  “Because if you choose them over us, that’s exactly what you’re doing.”

  “It’s not a choice!” Marc grew upset.

  “Yes it is! It’s not an easy choice, but it’s a damn choice. Are they really going to come to British Columbia to hunt you down? I doubt it. Stop with the damn excuses Marc. If you don’t want to be a part of our lives that fine. I’ll walk out and you won’t see us again. Is that what you want?”

  Marc was silent as he composed himself. He wanted her to know the truth.

  “You know I love you. And I do. I always will. And I want nothing more than to be a part of your life and be a father to our child. But you know I can’t. I’m no good for you. Either of you. You’re better off without me.”

  “You’re just like your father Marc. Just like him.”

  Mercy stood and walked toward the door.

  “Mercy, wait.” Marc reached for her hand. “Don’t leave like this.”

  “Leave like what?”

  “Upset. I don’t want the last time I see you to be on bad terms.”

  “You think this is going to end on good terms? You’re fucking out of it.”

  “I’m sorry.” Marc leaned in without her consent and kissed her. Mercy pushed him back and slapped his face.

  “Don’t.” She glared at him with utter hatred as more silent tears fell.

  Marc felt torn between what he wanted, her, and what he was.

  Mercy walked out the door without further ado. Marc watched her walk to her Jeep. She never looked back. Then she pulled out and was gone as quickly as she arrived.

  “Fuck!” Marc said as he wiped a lamp off a stand the living room. It crashed onto the wooden floor into a hundred pieces. He then took out more frustration on the TV remote which crashed into a picture frame on the wall. He wanted to go after her. Tell her he wanted them. He wanted nothing more than them. But he couldn’t.

  *****

  Mercy

  Mercy wiped the flowing tears from her face. She shouldn’t have expected any different. He’d chosen his life over her the last interlude, why would this be any different. She didn’t think he’d abandon his own child though. How wrong she was. Mercy was angry. Angry at him. Angry at the world.

  “Asshole,” she mumbled aloud. She needed a punching bag to take out her anger.

  The more she reflected on her interaction with Marc, the more she thought about the man she was talking to. It wasn’t the Marc she’d seen six months ago. This one wasn’t clean shaven. His hair was long and shaggy. He looked tired, jaded, and plain worn out. Even older. Had he started using drugs? What had happened to him? Maybe it was better he wasn’t a part of their lives. Better to accept it now and get it over with. The man she knew six months ago didn’t exist. In his place was the man that she talked to. A shell of Marc.

  Mercy, Cora, and Kent worked on packing up Mercy’s belonging to ship to British Columbia. Just the essentials. The rest would be included for sale with the house.

  “That’s the last of it,” Kent said taping a box.

  “Thank you for helping me.”

  “Anything for you.” Kent kissed her cheek. “The moving company will be here in a few hours. Why don’t you go back to the house and rest, you look exhausted. I’ll wait for the movers.”

  Mercy was exhausted, emotionally and physically.

  “Thank you Daddy.”

  “Cora you go too. I’ll meet you back at the house tonight.”

  Cora and Mercy went back to their house. Mercy laid down in the guest room, her mother covering her with a down comforter.

  “Get some sleep.” Cora kissed her cheek and shut the door.

  Mercy’s mind raced. With thoughts of Marc. Thoughts of her unborn child and their future together. Her child would have a happy upbringing as she had, but there would always be a missing piece she wouldn’t be able to fill.

  The next morning Mercy, Kent, and Cora all headed out to Quesnel. The flight was horrible, sitting down in the tiny airplane seat for hours was hard on Mercy. If she could have a half dozen drinks it would have made it tolerable.

  Once back to Quesnel, Mercy immediately went back home. Kent and Cora bought a house in Mercy’s neighborhood, only three houses down, so they wouldn’t be far when she needed a helping hand.

  Mercy took off her prosthesis and sat on her bed. Lego jumped up with her and curled up by her leg.

  “We’re going to be okay Lego. We’re going to be okay.” And they would be. Mercy had faith now. She could do this. She had to.

  *****

  Marc

  After Mercy left, Marc’s mind couldn’t focus on anything else. He was going to be a father. No…he wouldn’t be a father, he would have fathered a child. Being a father entailed being a part of your child’s upbringing, something he would not be doing. God that pained him. The thought of never seeing his son tore him up inside, but he didn’t know what else he could do.

  Mercy’s beautiful face ran through his mind. That glow they say pregnant women have, she had that. And she wanted him. She came back. And what had he done? Said no. Sent her away. He was doing her a favor in the long run. He was no good for her. No. He. Was. Not.

  Marc’s phone rang.

  “Need you at the warehouse at twelve. Pick up John and Hector at my house, they know the details.”

  Marc wanted to tell Ace to fuck off, but instead said, “Okay.” Ace, his master, called, so what did he do? Bow down to his every fucking wish.

  Marc looked at his watch. It was already eleven. He needed to get going to make it on time. Marc hopped into his Porsche, which Ace had made arrangements to get back, and headed to Brooklyn. Another day in paradise.

  Marc, Hector, and John waited at the warehouse for the buyer. Marc felt inexplicably leery. Maybe it was the leftover emotion coursing through him from Mercy, but something just felt off.

  A black Jaguar pulled into the open bay door of the warehouse and parked beside their Lincoln SUV. Three men stepped out of the Jag and walked to where the three of them stood.

  “Where’s the coke?”

  Hector passed Marc a bag. Marc placed the bag on the table, opened it up, and showed it to the leader of the crew. The man opened each bag sampling them and was satisfied.

  “Where’s the money?” Marc motioned for the bag another man held. Before the money was offered, the third man snatched the bag from Marc’s grip. John pulled out his gun, but before he could even threaten him a shot rang out. Marc, who stupidly refused to carry a gun, ducked his head while Hector fired back. The three men were back to their vehicle and out of the lot in seconds. Marc knelt down to John’s side. He was dead. One shot to the temple.

  “John?” Hector asked.

  “He’s gone,” Marc said somberly.

  “Fuck!” Hector growled. “Those pieces of shit are going to pay.”

  Marc couldn’t take his eyes off John.

  “We need to get out of here. Help me carry him,” Hector ordered. Marc didn’t move. “Boss, we need to get his body outta here before the cops show up.”

  “Alright,” Marc said numbly. Marc helped him put John in the back of the SUV, they dumped him in an alley a few miles away from the warehouse, then made the somber ride back to Ace’s.

  “Where’s John?” Ace asked immediately when they returned.

  “They held us up. Took the drugs and shot John.”

 
; Ace’s eyes grew wild.

  “Where’s John?”

  “In the alley on McPhetters Street. One shot to the temple,” Hector told Ace.

  “What the fuck Marc? How the fuck did this happen?” Ace pushed his chest.

  “It was your shitty ass deal Ace. You set it up.”

  “And you just let them steal our shit and shoot John!”

  “I didn’t let them do anything!”

  “They’re going to pay.” Ace paced. “Those fuckers are going to get what’s coming to them. Hector, get Marc a gun.”

  “No,” Marc said evenly.

  “What?”

  “I said, no.”

  “You got John shot, you’re going to take out the fucker that did this.”

  “I’m done Ace. Done. I’m not living this life anymore.” He didn’t want to die with the gang. He didn’t want to live the life he’d been living for nearly thirty years. He wanted more. He wanted to live period. Seeing John die before him made reality set in. What he wanted was Mercy. And his son. He didn’t want fucking Ace. He wasn’t willing to die for Ace. Or his drugs.

  “There’s only one way out of the Tiburons, Marc. You know that.”

  Marc turned his back and took a few steps toward the door.

  “Marc! I’ll do it! Don’t tempt me!” Ace yelled furiously. Marc turned and walked back to Ace who had his .45 held pointed at the floor.

  “Let me go, Ace. My debt to you has been paid.”

  “You are indebted for life.”

  Ace began to raise the gun toward Marc, but Marc caught him with a right cross and took the gun from his with ease.

  “There’s only one person I’m indebted to and it sure as hell isn’t you.” Marc took the clip out of the gun, then dismantled it tossing the pieces on the floor. The other gang members watched in shock.

  “I’m done,” Marc repeated and walked toward the door.

  “Stop him!” Ace yelled, but no one listened. Marc held the gang members respect more so than Ace. Marc climbed into his Porsche and left before Ace could come at him again.

  Marc drove back to his house, packed a bag, and grabbed his passport. Hopefully he wouldn’t get stopped at customs with his history. All of it was driving related anyway.

  *****

  Mercy

  Mercy had taken the day off to help her parents settle into their new abode, but wasn’t quite feeling up to it. Marc still dominated her mind. The asshole.

  Knock, knock, knock.

  Mercy crawled off the couch and walked to the door. She didn’t want company.

  “Hi Mom, hi Daddy,” Mercy said as she opened the door.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Just tired, that’s all. I think once I get some rest I’ll feel better.”

  “We brought you lunch.” Cora held up a plate with a sandwich, potato salad, and cucumbers.

  “Thanks Mom, but I’m really not hungry.”

  “You need to eat. Not just for you, but for our little grandson.” Cora put her hand on Mercy’s stomach. “I’ll just put this in the kitchen.”

  The two of them walked into the house uninvited. Kent took a seat on her couch beside Lego and Mercy sat with him.

  “Take the rest of the week off and recuperate. The move took a lot out of you.”

  “I’ll be fine, stop worrying.” Mercy smiled weakly to her father.

  Another knock came from her door.

  “I’ll get it.” Kent patted her knee and walked to the door. Mercy wondered who it could be, her other friends were at work. Maybe Carrie checking up on her.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” Kent said loudly full of anger. Mercy heard a scuffle outside and jumped to her feet running to the door. What she saw when she got there had her in shock. Kent threw a closed fist at Marc’s face and Marc tumbled onto the ground.

  “You have a lot of nerve showing up here! Call the police Mercy.”

  “Daddy!” Marc’s lip was split wide open.

  “Sir, I just need to talk to Mercy, I didn’t come to cause any trouble,” Marc said as he rose to his feet.

  “Go in the house Mercy, I’ll take care of him.”

  “Daddy, stop. Let me talk to him.”

  “Go in the house.”

  “Sir, please. I’m not here to cause any problems.”

  “Too late. You have problems now.”

  Kent took another shot to his handsome face. Marc made no attempt to stop him or fight back.

  “Daddy!” Mercy stood in front of him and tried to push him back. “Go inside. I’ll be okay.”

  “I’m not leaving you alone with him.”

  “You don’t understand what’s going on here. I’ll explain it later, okay.”

  “Perhaps you should explain it now.”

  Kent waited.

  A wave of panic washed over Mercy. She would have to tell them at some point. Her lie of a one night stand at a bar was easier than the truth, but she didn’t want to lie anymore.

  “He’s the father Daddy.”

  “What?” Kent looked at her in shock.

  “He’s the father. I didn’t know how to tell you.”

  “This piece of filth is the father? Mercy?”

  “Dad, go in the house. We’ll take about this later.”

  “I’m not leaving you alone with him! He nearly killed you and you—you—”

  “Daddy, go inside, please.” Mercy put her hand on her father’s. “Please.”

  Kent’s look implied the death he wanted to inflict upon Marc.

  “Call the police Cora.” Cora stood with her mouth agape at the door.

  “Daddy! I’m not a kid! I can take care of myself! Go inside!”

  Kent crossed his arms and obviously didn’t plan on going anywhere.

  “Please, sir. I just want to speak to Mercy, if she wants me to leave, I will with no questions asked.” Marc looked to Mercy hopefully.

  “Give us five minutes Daddy. And don’t call the police.”

  Kent took a step toward Marc.

  “You’ve hurt her enough. Hurt her again and you won’t be walking out of here on both your legs.”

  “The last thing I want to do is hurt her again.”

  Kent inhaled deeply, walked to Mercy, and kissed her forehead.

  “I’ll right on the other side of the door.”

  “Thank you Daddy.”

  Kent walked inside the house and pulled the door to.

  “Why are you here?” Mercy broke the lingering silence. She felt a mixture of emotions at his presence. A little bit hopeful, a little bit shocked, a little bit angry.

  “I choose you,” Marc said breathlessly.

  The words sent a shockwave through Mercy, but she still was racked with emotion.

  “Maybe it’s too late.”

  He took a few steps toward her and took her hands. Mercy pulled back.

  “The life I want is with you and our son. I know I don’t deserve you and it’s selfish of me to want you for myself, but I can’t help it.”

  “What assurance do I have that you won’t go back again?”

  “I want to be the father I never had. I want a life with you. I choose you. A thousand times over with no looking back, I choose you. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough yesterday and sent you away. I was a fool. I wish I could change that, but I can’t. But give me a chance and I’ll make it up to you for the rest of my life. Please Mercy.”

  “You don’t deserve a second chance.”

  “I know.” Marc invaded her space. He rest one hand on her stomach, the other on the side of her neck. Mercy didn’t move. “But I’m begging you for one. I love you. I love him, even though he’s not here yet. You said you saw the man I could be. I’m standing before you trying to be that man.”

  Mercy closed her eyes and though she tried to remain strong, her pregnancy hormones kicked into high gear and she began to cry.

  “I choose you,” she said through tears and met his eyes.

  Marc smiled l
ike a child on Christmas and pulled her into a tight embrace.

  “Thank you.” Marc placed a gentle kiss against her lips, then flinched in pain.

  “My father was a boxer in his younger days.” Mercy wiped the blood from his mouth.

  “A good one.” He kissed her again ignoring the pain.

  “My father’s going to kill you.” She laughed.

  “I’ll take as many punches as he throws. I deserve them.”

  “Yes you do.” She wrapped her arms around his neck.

  “I’ll never let you go again.”

  “I won’t let you.”

  “I love you,” Marc said sweetly.

  “You’ve told me that.” Mercy curled into his embrace.

  “I’ll tell it to you for the rest of my life. I love you.”

  Mercy believed the words he said to her. Truly believed. And felt his love.

  “I love you too.”

  Maybe Mercy could have happily ever after. She already had her white picket fence surrounding her yard. She was pregnant with a child she was told she could never have. And she had her unconventional Romeo. This was her fairytale.

  EPILOGUE

  Marc cradled Sarah, Mercy and Marcs’ one week old daughter, in his arms. He could look at her peaceful face all day long.

  “Daddy, can I see?” Marc Jr., their four year old son, watched curious over Sarah. He was quite taken with her.

  “She’s sleeping,” Marc whispered, but turned so he could see.

  Marc Jr. sat down in a rocking chair by the nursery’s window. Mercy came into the nursery quietly and rest her hand on Marc’s back.

  “She beautiful.” Marc looked down upon Sarah. “Just like her mother.”

  “She’s got her father’s bright eyes though.”

  Mercy kissed his cheek.

  “I never knew I could be this happy.” Marc turned to her and Mercy reached her arms out for Sarah. Marc passed her gently to Mercy and she cradled her lovingly in her arms.

  “Me either.”

  “You told me years ago that I saved you.” Marc held her loosely by the waist. “It was you who saved me.”

  Marc met her lips and was on cloud nine. It was her who had saved him from the only life he’d known. A sad existence. And now he was married to the woman of his dreams with a family he only fantasized was possible. As he reveled in his happiness, he felt arms wrapped around his leg.