In Love With A Cowboy (BWWM Romance)

by BWWM Crew

  And then I started to make my calls. First Dean. As usual he didn’t pick up. He only answered my calls when he felt like it, which seemed like never these days. If I did the same to him I would never hear the end of it. Dean had refined hypocrisy. I dialed Mrs. Cole and after what felt like forever, she finally answered with a croak.

  “Mrs. Cole, I’m so sorry to bother you this late. Keisha has a bad fever and I need to run down to the sheriff’s office to talk to Dean.”

  “I’ll be right over, dear,” she said without me having to ask.

  “Thank you,” I breathed. I knew she hated coming out at night. I knew she was old and she didn’t want to be disturbed. But I had no one that I could just call like that, and she knew it. She gave me a mouthful sometimes, but she never let me down.

  When she knocked on the door I was ready to go. I’d woken Keisha up and given her the last bit of medicine I’d had in the cabinet, and tucked her in carefully. I’d tried to explain that Mrs. Cole was coming over for a bit but she’d fallen asleep again before I’d gotten the full sentence out. My stomach clenched tight with nerves and I felt like I was going to throw up. Situations like these were always the ones where I felt completely out of control.

  “Thank you so much for coming—“I started, but Mrs. Cole shook her head and waved me off.

  “Don’t even think of it. Just go.”

  I left the house. The night air was chilly and it cut through the shawl I’d wrapped around my shoulders. I was already wearing my slacks and the t-shirt I slept in and I didn’t think about changing. Dean deserved to see me at my worst once in a while, so he realized I wasn’t Wonder Woman. I got in my car and drove the few blocks to the sheriff’s office.

  The light glowed dimly in the ground floor window where the cells and the offices were. The apartment on top of it, where Dean slept whenever he wasn’t sleeping in some woman’s bed, was dark and quiet. I climbed the steps and pushed open the door.

  I couldn’t see Dean anywhere. Not in the holding area or in the office. One of the cells was occupied though, a man wearing expensive looking jeans and a butter-colored shirt. He lay on the cot in the cell, a white cowboy hat over his face. I turned to leave and knocked into the chair that stood by the desk. It made a loud clattering sound. The guy looked up, shifting his hat.

  His blue eyes shocked me to my core, and he sat up, looking sheepish. He swung his legs off the cot, took off the hat and walked out of the cell which was open.

  “Shouldn’t that be locked?” I asked, nodding at the door. Tanner looked at it and shook his head, looking amused.

  “I’m not a criminal…”

  I shrugged. “You were in the cell.”

  He leaned against the wall, hands jammed in his pockets, hat back on his head and looking nonchalant and damn sexy. A cowboy from a hot western. I swallowed.

  “Where’s Dean?” I asked.

  “He’s out on some house call or something. We were having a drink together, that’s why I’m here.”

  Only now did I notice the open bottle of brandy on the table and the two empty glasses.

  “Sleeping it off?” I asked, even though if this was what Tanner looked like drunk, he could be drunk around me any day. His eyes slid down my body casually, like it was normal and acceptable for him to look me up and down. I felt everywhere his gaze fell, like a physical touch. I shivered.

  “What did you need the sheriff for? Maybe I can help.”

  I shook my head. “Sorry, it’s not really… it’s personal.”

  He cocked in eyebrow at me. “It has to be personal if you’re here dressed in that,” he said looking at my body again. I wrapped my shawl tighter around my body. I wasn’t wearing a bra and he would see my nipples tightening right through my shirt. Keisha was sick at home and here I was getting turned on by a stranger just because of how he was looking at me.

  “Will you tell Dean I need him? Keisha’s sick. Maybe he’ll do something if he knows it’s about her.”

  Tanner frowned at me. “The little girl from the shop today?” he asked. I nodded. “Must be bad if you need to call the sheriff in for it.”

  “Well, not more than usual. As much as I don’t respect him the way others in this town do, I still look to him for help sometimes. I know it’s not ideal but Westham is tiny and there isn’t much of a way out.”

  Tanner’s face showed a number of emotions and I didn’t understand any of them. His expression changed, from confusion to concern to something much darker I couldn’t place. This was my cue. Brandy and jails and mothers in slacks just didn’t go well together. I opened my mouth to say it, but instead Tanner took a step closer to me, taking his hands out of his pockets and whatever my plan was flew out the door. His hands were big, and I was pretty damn sure they were able, too. His skin was rough, not like a hot shot from the city, but a man that worked with his hands.

  He could work his hands on me anytime.

  I shook the thought off. What was I thinking? This man was unleashing all sorts of thoughts and feelings in me that I hadn’t allowed for a long time. Hell, that I hadn’t even wanted for a long time. Since Dean… I shook off the thought of him. It was just a turn off.

  On the other hand, maybe a turn off was what I needed right now, something to cool my engines.

  “Seems to me you need a real man to take care of you,” he said and his voice was deep and gravelly. I felt my insides melt, like maybe I’d been the one that had been drinking, and whatever thought of Dean I’d been trying to hang onto, to save myself from the spiraling pull of the raw sex that oozed out of this man, disappeared. This close I could smell the brandy on him, but it was mixed with his cologne, something fresh and manly, and a smell that belonged just to him. It was intoxicating. I eyed the bottle of brandy and I wished I was on the same alcohol-induced level of confidence he was on.

  Instead I took a step back. He was driving me crazy, and I was having all sorts of thoughts a mother with a child with fever shouldn’t be having. His face closed when I backed away, and he jammed his hands back in his pockets.

  He opened his mouth and I half-expected an apology, he looked that dejected. Instead he just said, “I’ll tell Dean you dropped by.”

  I nodded and turned away from the electricity that wired the atmosphere between us.

  “Jada,” he added and it sounded like a lot more than just a name with the way he said it. I looked over my shoulder, nodded, and walked into the night. The cool air on my skin snapped me back to reality, and when I closed the car door behind me I lowered my forehead onto the steering wheel.

  I was a mother, responsible, with a café that I had to run, schooling I had to finish and a child I had to bring up to not make the same mistakes I’d made. And here I’d been standing with a man I hardly knew, thinking filthy thoughts in a sheriff’s office. The sheriff I’d almost married. I just hoped Dean would get back to me as reality came back to me and all I could think of was Keisha.

  I turned the ignition and pointed the car in the direction of home.

  Chapter 4 - Tanner

  The brandy coursed through my veins like fire. I could feel it pulsing under my skin, flirting with adrenaline long after she left. My heart hammered in my chest and my manhood strained against my jeans like no one else’s business. I kicked myself for what I’d done.

  She must have thought I was the world’s worst man, coming onto her like that, looking like the hero in a bad western. I scratched my head, tipping the hat half to the side. I’d changed out of the suit that felt like a second skin because everyone had been staring at me. Being dressed like a cowboy, the man I once was, made me feel out of place in my own life. And then I’d gone and stepped into her like that, all dressed up and confident like some sort of animal. But there was something about her, something magnetic and attractive, something that wanted to make her mine. Right now.

  I groaned and sunk into the chair behind Dean’s desk. The brandy bottle was only half empty. I grabbed it and poured myself two fin
gers, chugging it down straight. We’d had the first half of it with Coca Cola. Dean had promised to get more on the way back. I wasn’t going to wait that long.

  The taste was vile in my mouth and burned all the way down to my stomach. Good. Maybe it would teach my body a lesson. I leaned back and closed my eyes, feeling my brain swim in the alcohol. It felt horrible to be so untethered, so out of control. And at the same time it felt amazing. When had I last just let go? I couldn’t even remember. Definitely not with any of the women back home, not even Nicole who was a good lay and very little else.

  But this woman… she was perfect. Something about her drove me wild, made me want to throw caution to the wind and just go with whatever I felt around her. Which was some serious lust. No, not just lust. It was more than that. I wanted to protect her, look after her. She had these amazing chocolate brown eyes, big and round and holding the pain of the world in them. And an hourglass figure that damn near broke me it was that perfect. Her chocolate skin stretched over her body like marble and I wanted to know if it was as perfect under her clothes as on her face and her arms. And she had an ass that balanced out her chest and hips that just…

  I had to stop thinking about her if I wanted to calm down at all.

  Dean walked into the office looking worse than I felt. He’d had so much more to drink than I had before he’d left, and he’d still driven. He held up a bottle of cola and smiled a dangerous kind of smile.

  “Pour you another?” he asked. I nodded. Dean poured the drinks, and I noticed how strong he was making them. He scared me, the way he drank alcohol like it was water. He never used to be that way. Then again, I hadn’t seen him in so long, how could I pretend to know him at all?

  A pang of guilt shot through my chest and I hadn’t been ready just to grab it and push it away again. Damn alcohol let every wall down I’d built over the years, even that one. I remembered that was why I didn’t like drinking. One day home and I was losing sight of everything I’d managed to become away from this place.

  “I hate the midnight calls,” Dean said, sipping on his drink. I touched mine to my lips but it was more brandy than anything else. The only thing the cola did was change the color.

  “Happen often?” I asked.

  Dean shook his head. “Nah, domestic dispute this time round. This is a quiet place. The holding cells are more for show than anything else.”

  “Or for lying down when you’re feeling off,” I pointed out, thinking of my almost-nap. Jada came to mind again and my body reacted immediately. I sat up and spread my legs a little wider to give myself some room.

  “Jada was in here a bit earlier, looking for you,” I said.

  “What was it this time?” The way he asked it made it seem like she was here whining a lot.

  “She said Keisha was sick and she needed to talk to you.”

  Dean grunted and took a bigger sip. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes.

  “That child is sick all the time,” he said.

  “What does she need from you? A ride to the hospital?” This place didn’t look like it had an ambulance and I knew the clinic had two doctors and three nurses, one of them doubling as a secretary. Whatever they couldn’t handle got sent to Houston.

  “Money,” Dean said. “That’s all she ever wants.”

  I made a face. Dean must have been drunker than I thought. Nothing he said made sense.

  “So what are you going to do? It looked urgent.”

  He breathed in deeply and blew it out through his mouth. The smell of brandy hung in the room.

  “I guess I’ll swing by when I have a chance and see what she wants. Doubt it’s really that bad.” He didn’t sound like he really cared. If it were me I would care all the time…

  “You have a chance now.”

  “Right, and give up spending time hanging with my bro? I see you once in what… like nine years? And you want me run after a kid who’s picked up a snotty nose at school? She can wait. Keisha’s been around for six years, she’s going to be around a lot longer than that. She’s a neat kid and all, but being a dad is a waste of time.”

  His words crashed into me sideways, like they didn’t make sense. I tried them on for size, tried to figure out what the hell he was talking about.

  “Are you saying Keisha’s your daughter?” I asked because I couldn’t come to any other conclusions.

  “That’s exactly the problem, Tanner my boy. And Jada is milking me for every penny I have. Like the café isn’t enough, it’s doctor’s visits, school fees, and the court sides with her because she a woman.” He snorted.

  I was struggling to put all the pieces together. My mind felt clouded and I couldn’t think too well through the fog that was settling in.

  “You had a thing with Jada? And you have a daughter… you didn’t think to tell me any of this?” My head was spinning.

  “Why?” Dean asked, shrugging. “It’s not like we ever talked about anything for the past, what, decade? I don’t know anything about you, either. Besides, it’s not like I married her or anything, so what’s to tell?”

  He seemed so nonchalant about it. My skin felt hot, my fingers itched and I suddenly couldn’t sit still.

  “What if something’s really wrong?” I asked. “She came here in person to look for you, and you’re just shrugging it off?”

  “Hey, calm down, bro,” Dean said, still hanging in his chair. “It’s not like this hasn’t happened before. I’ve got this. Keisha’s old enough to be over all this preschool disease crap. Jada’s just taking chances. Trust me. If you knew her the way I do…”

  I wished I knew her the way Dean had. I couldn’t imagine having someone like Jada and then just let her slip through my fingers. She was the kind of girl I would fight to hang on to for the rest of my life.

  “She’s just a woman, Tanner,” Dean said. His words slurred a little.

  “You’re just like him,” I spat, and I was surprised all of that was still in me. Dean looked up at me, his eyes watery. They’d looked just like mine once upon a time, but judging by his drinking I could tell where his color had washed away to.

  “Don’t go there, Tanner. Not tonight. You haven’t even been back for twenty-four hours.”

  “Are you even listening to yourself? How many nights did Mom have to take care of him because he couldn’t stop? How many times did she have to pawn something for money? And you’re doing the same to Jada.”

  “Stop it, Tanner,” Dean said, and if his words didn’t drag at the end of his sentence he would have sounded dangerous. “Compare me to Dad again.” He pushed himself out of the chair and swayed a little.

  “And what, Dean?” I challenged.

  “It’s not like I married her, okay. When she said she wanted out I let her go. I didn’t make her stay. I didn’t force her to live a life she didn't want.”

  “That doesn’t make you that much better than him,” I said. I knew I was saying things that hurt, things that could have stayed in the past. After all, Dad was gone; he’d been dead for nine years. But the brandy was ugly, it brought back feelings and histories that neither of us had been prepared to face.

  “I swear, Tanner, if you tell me I’m a good-for-nothing like him, I’ll… I’ll lock you up.”

  I barked a laugh. “You can’t hide behind your badge. Just because you’re sheriff doesn’t make what you’re doing suddenly right.”

  Dean narrowed his eyes, and then he swung at me. He was strong and he was fast, even with his added weight and the alcohol in his system. But fighting with my brother was like riding a bike. I never really forgot how. And I was more sober than he was. I dodged his blow and he toppled over, falling to the floor. He lay sprawled on the concrete looking like he didn’t know what had happened.

  “Are you going to arrest me for assaulting an officer?” I sneered.

  He glared at me, furious, for two seconds. And then the anger drained out of his face and a mocking smile replaced it.

  “You like her, do
n’t you?” he said and his face looked like the light had suddenly come on. “That’s why you’re being such a pain in the ass.” He laughed and I kicked him. He groaned through his barking laughter, and I felt like the ridiculous little brother again. “Of course you like her. You’ve always had a thing for my girls.”

  “That’s because they were always golden, Dean, and you never treated them right. Deanna didn’t deserve you.”

  “And after I was done with her, she didn’t want you,” he said in a mocking tone and the reunion was complete. We’d covered every base now, our whole relationship had been summed up in one night of drinking.