Titan Magic

by Jodi Lamm

  Though Maddy’s measurements had been taken many times before, she couldn’t stop trembling. She tried to focus on something else, but it was no use. At this rate she would tear the tailor to shreds, though he had done nothing to provoke it.

  This was no time for subtlety. She hung her head and wrote, Soeren Lavoie hid his daughter because she is raving mad, as they say. Then she added, Forgive me for not telling you sooner, so Will would not think her intentionally deceptive, and as an afterthought, I do have the means to pay for your services, if you are still willing to render them, so he would not think her a thief or a charity case.

  An agonizing moment of silence followed, in which Maddy didn’t dare glance back, though she could hear Will breathing right behind her. She didn’t want to see his face as he read.

  “I see,” he said at last. Then, to Maddy’s simultaneous joy and horror, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back into his chest. “You do know who I am, don’t you? It was stupid of me to assume you didn’t.”

  Maddy felt her knees give way.

  Will lifted her into his arms, carried her across his shop, and kicked open the door to a small, back room. “Miss Lavoie, if you wanted to hire me, you had only to ask me outright. I won’t shame or deny you, no matter what the gossips say. You’re a Lavoie, and I’m honored to serve you.” He laid her down on a cold bed, leaned over her, and brushed his thumb across her lips in a way that made her shiver. “I promise, you’ll have no regrets. My skills are unmatched, and I’m the picture of discretion with all my clients.” But he wasn’t given the chance to prove it.

  A violent shadow burst into the room, and Will’s body was thrown back. Someone groaned. Maddy fumbled around, desperate for some light. She found the tattered ends of the curtains and threw them aside.

  In the flickering light of a streetlamp, Maddy saw the stag poised over Will, who had fallen, slumped against the wall.

  “Say… doll?” Will managed between gasps. “Care to… call off your guard dog?” He held his left arm tightly. Maddy thought she saw blood.

  “Don’t bother,” the stag said, and Maddy knew the voice, immediately. “I don’t answer to her.”

  3: Everything That Leaves a Mark

  The stag bowed its monstrous head. Its antlers grazed Will’s chin. Maddy wanted to fight, even as another part of her cowered on the bed. Will had been right; this was no normal stag. And the strange voice Maddy heard every night was no delusion. It stood before the tailor now and growled, “She belongs to me.”

  Flitting high above the cyclone of emotions she felt, a single idea occupied Maddy’s mind: she wasn’t mad—she never had been.

  “What did you say?” Will gripped his bleeding arm and tried to push himself to his feet, but fell back again.

  “I said, this one,” the stag nodded toward Maddy, “belongs to me. Touch her again and I’ll kill you.” The owner of the mysterious voice shook its great head. “I knew she would get into trouble as soon as we entered the city. I should have guessed the trouble would be you.”

  Will opened and closed his mouth several times before he finally spoke. “James?”

  The stag backed away. “Madeleine,” it said, its eyes still locked on Will, “climb onto my back.”

  Maddy did as she was told. She had no difficulty, though she thought she should have. She wrapped her arms around the stag’s neck and finally dug her fingers into that wonderful mane. “So warm,” she said to herself. And all her horribly conflicted emotions coalesced into the strangest feeling that she had finally come home.

  “Are you ready?” the stag asked.

  Maddy clung to the magnificent creature. “Yes.”

  “Let’s go.” The stag’s voice hummed in her ears.

  “Wait!” Will called out in a vain attempt to stop them.

  The stag butted open the front door with a loud crack.

  “Please!” Will had gotten to his feet and followed them into the night. His whole body quaked in what looked like a tremendous effort to stand under a thousand pounds of weight. “Let me explain!”

  The stag broke into a run.

  Maddy looked back just in time to see Will crumple to the ground. “Don’t go…” was the last thing she heard him say before his voice faded in the distance. She buried her face in the stag’s mane until they had exited the city. She didn’t want to see how the high society people stared at her, a woodsprite indeed, riding on the back of a wild animal in her underclothes.

  “Wait!” she cried, when she realized the treasure she’d left behind. “My coat!” She pounded a fist into the side of the animal.

  “Stop that,” it said, and she did.

  “We have to go back.” She turned to see the city growing smaller and smaller as they ran. “I left my things.”

  “You don’t need them.”

  “But my book and purse.”

  “I said you don’t need them.”

  “And my coat.”

  The stag grunted. “It’s just a coat.”

  “It was my father’s coat.”

  “You have no father,” the stag said, as though it were the most natural thing in the world. “That coat belonged to a stranger.”

  Maddy swallowed hard and fought the impulse to scream. How dare this creature suggest such a thing? Of course she had a father. Her mother wouldn’t have given his greatcoat to her otherwise. No matter her history, that gift was proof she had been part of something, even if it only lasted three years, even if she had been a burden to them. Her mother loved her. And Marcus…

  “That’s enough!” She leapt off the stag while it was still running and landed on her feet. Her own strength surprised her only a moment before her temper made her forget it completely. “You don’t know anything about it. You were never there. All you ever did…” She balled her hands into fists. “All you ever did was turn me into a lunatic!”

  “You’re angry?” The stag seemed more curious than concerned, which made Maddy seethe all the more. Then it laughed. “You can’t get angry without me.”

  “What?” No, she didn’t care what he meant. Not really. She lunged, planted both her palms into the side of the beast, and catapulted it several feet into the air. Its heavy body landed with a dull thud. The moment it hit the ground, Maddy doubled over and fell to her knees, gasping. When her breath returned, it brought along a stabbing pain in her ribcage. Her right ankle throbbed. She struggled to stand.

  “You shouldn’t try to walk yet,” the stag said in a voice that indicated its own suffering. “You’ve twisted our ankle.”

  She paused, confused. “What?”

  “You may have damaged our ribcage, as well.” The stag grunted and lifted itself to its feet, holding one of its hind legs off the ground. “Bruised, at least.”

  “Ours?”

  “Madeleine.” The stag inched closer to her. “You’ve forgotten everything. I’m beginning to see that now. In the future, please forgive me if you feel I’m being too familiar or coarse with you. Also, for both our sakes, please avoid more physical violence.”

  A dark blanket of clouds crept like sea foam across the sky. In that shadow, the stag became a formidable silhouette. It stood on three legs and towered over Maddy, who remained on her knees. Part of her knew that this thing, this talking animal, was more dangerous to her than anything else in the world. She knew because no matter how hard she tried to be frightened of it, she could not overcome the feeling of total peace she had in its presence.

  “Who are you?” she asked.

  “You used to call me Jas.” The stag bowed its head. “You were the only one who called me Jas.”

  Maddy closed her eyes and dug her fingers into the ground. “That’s not what I meant.”

  “You meant to ask me what I am.”

  She nodded.

  “You should always say what you mean.”

  Maddy forced herself to look up at the shape of her abductor—of Jas. It was strange, talking to someone who could hear her. “Are
you… Are you a woodsprite?”

  The stag chuckled. “No.”

  “A forbidden creature?”

  “You could say that.”

  Maddy didn’t want to know more, but her instincts would not let her be until she asked. “A Titan?”

  The stag lifted its head at that, and Maddy shifted back in horror. Had she guessed correctly? If he said yes, she was dead. Titans didn’t let people who met them survive the meeting. Everyone knew that. Only no one believed in Titans. No one believed in talking animals either.

  The stag huffed and limped toward the forest, but turned back once to answer her. “It was a Titan who did this to me.”

  Maddy called after him. “Jas!” His name was natural on her lips, like breathing, like water. “Wait. I want to stay with you.”

  The stag slowed its pace. “Of course you do.”

  When they reached the hill to the forest, Maddy scaled it on all fours. Each new layer of mud made her feel a little safer. Her companion was not a Titan, but that thought only comforted her until she realized that if what he said were true, if a Titan had enchanted him, it meant the monster-gods really existed. And one of them was not fond of her only guide in the world. Why? How had he crossed it? She couldn’t keep from glancing over her shoulder. Her heart thumped at every whisper in the grass.

  Maddy collapsed at the crest of the hill. Her right ankle throbbed and her lungs burned. She looked ahead to see whether Jas had gotten far, but he had dropped to the ground, too. “Let’s rest awhile,” he said, panting. He looked to the sky and added, “And pray it doesn’t rain.”

  “I don’t pray,” she said, which was the truth. She had long ago decided she was a cursed thing and no god would want anything to do with her. She had announced it one day in writing. Her mother had disapproved while Marcus laughed. Marcus never took anything she did seriously—not until she accepted his father’s coat. She shivered and blew into her hands. “You should pray though. Crossing a Titan. You’ll need it.” She inched toward the stag. He was warm, she remembered, but when she came close enough to touch him, she hesitated.

  “Go ahead,” he said. Was he teasing her? But when she tried to curl against him with some reserve, he nudged her closer. “We’ll be fine this time.”

  She didn’t think about what he meant. She had too many other questions swirling around in her exhausted mind. “I guess you aren’t really a stag then.”

  “No.” Jas lay his head on the ground and heaved a deep sigh. “I was a man before the Titan sealed me in this body.”

  “And you knew me?”

  “I knew someone who wasn’t named Madeleine, who didn’t have a family, who never got angry or frightened or sad without me. Was it you? I can’t tell.”

  She sat up. “But you called me, every night.”

  “I did.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re mine.” He curled his body into a tighter half-circle. “And I have to take responsibility for what’s mine.”

  Maddy rubbed her forehead, spreading her makeshift armor to her face as she did. “Are you my father then?”

  “Not quite.”

  She leaned in, eager. “You’re the secret prince!”

  “Absolutely not.”

  “What then?” she said. He shook his head and she almost thought she saw a smile in the animal’s eyes. So this was a guessing game? Wonderful. She knew how to play guessing games. “We were bitter enemies,” she began in a confident voice. “You murdered my father and I’ve never been able to forgive you for it. I’ve plotted to kill you since I was a child, following you halfway around the world to accomplish it. When we finally met, we battled. You hit me over the head and I lost my memory. You were so overcome with guilt…”

  She didn’t go on. Jas drowned her out with laughter. “What happened to you?” he said between breaths. “Soldier trees? Secret princes? Revenge and redemption? Who’s been raising you all this time?”

  Maddy hung her head when she realized the answer to that question. She had been playing her brother’s version of a guessing game, in which the most imaginative guess won the game. Who had raised her all this time? She clenched her teeth and tried not to think of it. “Fine,” she said. “Were we lovers?”

  Jas stopped laughing. “Listen. I’ve already told you the nature of our relationship. You clearly don’t want to believe it, and I’m sorry for that.”

  She could only remember him saying one thing about their relationship. “I belong to you?”

  Jas nodded.

  “How?”

  “In every possible way.” He sighed. “I don’t know how I can make this clearer to you, but it’s that simple. It isn’t anything more than that. You’re mine. Maybe you’ve noticed that you can’t disobey me.”

  Maddy pulled away from him. “I’ve noticed that I respond to your voice.”

  “It isn’t just a response. I have complete control. You will obey every command I give you, without question.”

  She shook her head. This wasn’t funny. It wasn’t true. But every point she used to counter it in her mind fell flat.

  “You don’t believe me?” Jas said. “If I told you to march right back into town and murder William Taylor, you wouldn’t hesitate.”

  “No.” She clenched her teeth and prepared to defy him. “I wouldn’t do that.” But something in her knew she was wrong.

  Jas leaned closer. “Don’t worry now. I won’t ask you to do something like that.”

  Maddy wanted to cry. It was true, all of it. Every night, her mother and brother had tied her to her bed, not because she wouldn’t stay after hearing the voice, but because she couldn’t. And she knew she hadn’t held back with Marcus; she knew she hit him hard. She wondered how much she’d hurt him, all because a stag named Jas told her to come. “Just like a dog,” she muttered. “No wonder he hates me.”

  “Who hates you?”

  “My brother.” She rubbed her eyes, smearing more mud across her face. “Because I hurt him, every night. All I ever did was hurt him.” Everything that had happened to her in the last twenty-four hours finally eased into a grim focus. And now, she hated the thing that made her into a monster, a mad girl, a terrible burden.

  “Why did you hurt him?” Jas asked.

  “Because he wouldn’t let me go. And why shouldn’t he hate me? Now I’m blaming him, and I’m angry with him, and I’m pretending he wanted to kill me.” She choked. “But he let me keep Father’s coat.” And that was the thought that sent her sobbing into her petticoat. “Then he… Then he…” She couldn’t finish.

  Jas nosed her hands. “Marcus Lavoie was the reason you couldn’t come when I called you?” He sounded doubtful.

  “It’s supposed to be special, isn’t it? Your first kiss?” She lifted her head long enough to say, “But mine was just ‘goodbye,’” and then buried her face again.

  Jas nudged her more fervently. “What kiss?”

  “Marcus.”

  “Your brother?”

  She answered him with a fresh wail. “He hates it. He said so.”

  “Hates what?”

  “Being my brother.”

  “I can see why he would.”

  She raised a hand to strike the stag.

  “Stop.”

  And Maddy knew it was a command because her hand hung frozen in the air without her having meant to stop it.

  “You’ll hurt us again.” Jas eased his way closer to her and curled his body around her. “What I mean is he’s probably developed feelings for you that would be unbecoming in a brother. Fortunately, he is not your brother and simply grew tired of acting the part. Now please, try to keep your temper.”

  Maddy hung her head. What was wrong with her? She never used to be so short with people. What good was not being insane if you were still dangerous?

  “Listen. You need to understand your own strength if you’re going to make responsible decisions on your own,” Jas said. “And you will be making decisions on your own because,
now that I know you’re safe, I’m sending you back.”

  “Why?”

  “I have my reasons. But you need to understand two things first. That is, if I told you to, you could destroy an entire city in a matter of minutes. For that reason, there will always be those who try to manipulate you. Be wary of people who know what you are.”

  “What I am?” She didn’t like the way he put that.

  Jas ignored her. “Also, you suffer my injuries, so hurting me is a bad idea.”

  “What do you mean, be wary of people who know what I am?”

  “Just don’t trust people so easily.”

  “Like William Taylor?”

  “Especially William Taylor.” He laughed. “I don’t think he’s figured you out yet. Even so, he’s not the right person to introduce you to the world.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because he’s a dealer in black-market magic and a professional courtier, among other things.”

  “A professional courtier?”

  “A paid consort for the noble classes.”

  She cocked her head.

  “He’s a prostitute, Madeleine.”

  Of course. Maddy turned her back to the stag to hide the color in her cheeks. She was glad she hadn’t known before. Will only wanted her money, after all. “I might have killed him,” she muttered.

  “You wouldn’t have gone that far.”

  She bowed her head and leaned back against the animal. “You don’t know how angry I was.”

  Jas laughed again. This time, Maddy felt his massive chest shudder as he did. She closed her eyes and tried to drown in his laughter. She never wanted it to end.

  “I know exactly how angry you were,” Jas said, when he had caught his breath. “It was my anger you felt back there, not your own. And I would not have let you kill the man. He’s an old friend of mine. I probably know him better than anyone else in the world. He’s always had an uncanny way of making people believe he loves them. He’s so good at it I sometimes think he’s even trying to fool himself. But he doesn’t—love them, I mean. He never does.” He yawned and laid his head down.