F*cking Awkward

by Anthology

  “Probably both,” I mumbled, leaning into the back seat to grab my duffel bag. “Look, I’m not at home. I’ll drive up next week when I get back to Savannah.”

  “Where the hell are you?”

  “Ah…” I stalled.

  Where the hell was I? I mean, I knew the geographical location. I’d not seven hours earlier paid a shit-ton of money for a last-minute plane ticket. But the whys of this little excursion were a mystery to me.

  Not my cock though. No, it knew exactly why I was there.

  I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw a light in her apartment on.

  “I’m in Chicago,” I confessed.

  “What the hell for?”

  I shook my head. Good fucking question. “I met a girl while I was up here for Emma’s wedding.”

  The smile in his voice was unmistakable. “A girl? Singular?”

  Grinning, I climbed out of my car. “Yes, singular, jackass. Now, look, she doesn’t know I’m here, so either I’m going to call you back in ten minutes as I search for a place to stay tonight or I’ll come by when I get back, assuming I’m still able to walk.”

  He barked a laugh. “Good luck on that one.”

  “Yeah, thanks. Tell Lacey I said hey.”

  “Will do.” He hung up without so much as a goodbye. Such was Mason Wynn’s style.

  Jogging up her steps, I smoothed my shirt down, wishing I’d had time to take a shower before seeing her. But, after the pictures she’d sent me at lunch of her in nothing but an apron from the coffee shop she worked at, I’d feared an all-out revolt from my balls if I’d stopped at a hotel first.

  Meh. We can start the party in the shower.

  Please, God, let there be a fucking party.

  Seconds later, I was pressing my ear to her door, listening for voices while praying that she was alone. Not creepy at all.

  Rolling my shoulders back, I rapped twice and dropped my bag to the ground at my side, hoping I could pull off cool, calm, and sexy when she opened the door.

  “Who is it?” she called from the other side of the door.

  I hesitated. “Um…me?”

  “Is that a question?”

  I twisted my lips. “No. Not a question. Sorry. Let me try again.” I cleared the frog from my throat. “It’s me.”

  “I’m proud of you for taking charge of your identity in such a decisive manner. But I still have no idea who you are. You sure you have the right apartment, Me?

  I smirked. Kara Reed was crazy on basically every level, and I loved it. It was the only reason my mind had allowed my penis to hand my credit card over to the ticketing agent at the airport.

  “You can call me Hunter, sugar,” I said suggestively.

  “Shut up!”

  I laughed. “Open the door, baby.”

  “Shut up!” she repeated, but I heard the click of her deadbolt.

  Then the other deadbolt.

  Then the rattle of a chain.

  I silently chastised myself for not having brought a magazine for the wait.

  Then the lock on the handle.

  Then, finally, the door creaked open and her big, brown eyes peeked through the crack.

  “Oh my God,” she breathed, staring at me.

  I couldn’t read her reaction through the one-inch opening, so I smiled nervously. “Put me out of my misery here. What kinda prayers you asking God for right now? Thanks or deliverance?”

  “You can’t be here!” she exclaimed.

  I rocked back on my heels as my heart lurched into my throat. “I…uh…wanted to surprise you.”

  “Well, you succeeded. Jesus, Hunter. You can’t surprise a girl who lives alone at eight p.m. on a Sunday night after she’s had the whole weekend off.”

  Shit. Shit. Shit. So not the response I was hoping for. “I… Sorry?”

  “I haven’t showered since Friday!” she announced. “Hell, the only reason I’ve even changed my clothes was to send you dirty pics. My apartment is a wreck. And you’ve just interrupted me in the middle of changing the cat’s litter box. So please listen to me when I say: I want to jump you so bad right now.” She dropped her head to the doorjamb. “But you. Can. Not. Be here right now.”

  I smiled…huge. “Open the door, Kara.”

  “No! I look like hell. And I’m assuming you want to see me naked or you wouldn’t have flown all the way here. And, Hunter, you should know, even though I showered on Friday, there was not a razor involved in that equation.” She lowered her voice to a whisper, “Like, at all!”

  I gently pressed on the door and smirked. “What do you know… We’re both in luck. I’ve always had a thing for natural women. Seventies porn is my favorite.”

  She groaned. “See? Yet another disappointment. I don’t even have a porn bush.”

  I laughed and pushed on the door again until she finally gave up and backed up enough for me to swing it open.

  She hadn’t been lying. She looked like utter hell. Her long, brown hair was sitting in a messy bun on the top of her head. And an oversized T-shirt—complete with holes and a ketchup stain—hung over a pair of tattered, blue sleep shorts. At least those were cute and showed off her tan and—slightly hairy—legs.

  Yet my smile never wavered. And that had nothing to do with my cock—for once.

  “Hey, beautiful,” I crooned, pulling her into a hug.

  Kara was short, her head hitting just below my pecs. But her body fit mine like a second skin as she molded against me.

  “I can’t believe you’re here.”

  I leaned down to kiss the top of her—greasy—hair. “What can I say? I missed you.”

  It was the absolute truth. We’d been doing the long-distance thing since we’d met at a wedding two weeks earlier. Despite my desires to sleep with her that first night, a voice I’d never heard had told me to wait. She was a good girl—albeit slightly insane and vegetable obsessed. And it had been a long time since anyone had actually interested me in ways that didn’t involve a bed and a bottle of lube.

  “Mmm,” she purred into my chest, wiggling even closer. “You smell terrible too.”

  I tipped her head back and took both sides of her face. “I’ve been on a plane all afternoon.”

  The corners of her lips turned up into a glowing, white smile that stirred something deep within my chest—and my pants.

  It seemed I wasn’t the only one, because before I even had the chance to go in for the kiss, she was mounting me.

  Our mouths painfully slammed together as her legs wrapped around my hips, which sent me stumbling back into the half open front door.

  “Fuck,” I groaned when it T-boned me directly between my shoulder blades. My grip on her ass faltered as the pain sliced through me. “Son of a…”

  She giggled and continued to work my mouth. And, within seconds, the pain ebbed away.

  “What do you say we take this to the shower?” I mumbled against her lips.

  She shifted her hold, locking her legs at her ankles. “Is it too soon to say I love you?”

  I froze and popped my lids open.

  Yes. It was entirely too soon to say that.

  As she slowly opened her eyes, confusion painted her makeup-free face. “Oh, Jesus, it was a joke. Don’t be a dumbass.”

  “It’s just…” I started to apologize. Maybe lay out a few ground rules about where our relationship was headed. I mean, technically, this was only the second time we’d actually seen each other. But, then again, I was about to have as much sex with her as I could over the next twenty-four hours.. And, assuming all went well in the penis-and-vagina meeting, I’d already decided I’d be back the next weekend to do the same. Maybe she was the type of woman who reads into shit like that.

  “For fuck’s sake, Hunter. I’m not in love with you. I’m about to shave my pubes while you scrub your balls beside me. I believe we both know exactly where tonight is going. So let’s just calm down, get clean, and then get to fucking.”

  Oh. My. God. Sweet Baby Jesus
sent me an angel.

  And that was the exact moment I fell in love.

  Without another conscious thought, I scooped her off her feet and headed down the hall like a man on a mission. After kicking the door open, I darted through her bedroom and into the bathroom.

  We were all hands and mouths as we stripped each other naked. With my lips connected to hers, I blindly turned the shower on, and then we both climbed inside.

  “Goddamn!” I yelled when the water fresh off a polar ice cap hit my back. Instinctively, I jumped but in the process, I accidently shoved her under the spray.

  “Hunter!” she shrieked, scrambling from the shower.

  However, in our haste, we’d failed to take any of the standard shower-sex safety precautions, like, say…not spilling half a bottle shampoo on to the bathroom floor.

  As though we’d been cast in Final Destination Four Million and Twelve, she slipped in slow motion and cracked her head on the counter.

  Every episode of Rescue 911 I’d watched as a child flashed into my head as I dove after her.

  “Kara!” I yelled, grabbing her shoulders and rolling her to her back.

  Kneeling beside her head, I assessed her for an injury.

  Her hands were frantically moving over her face, but she’d yet to say anything besides a few grumbled curses.

  “Shit, sugar. Are you okay?” I asked as a small cut on her forehead started to drip blood.

  She huffed. “It’s like I’m destined to be a virgin for the rest of my life.”

  My entire body froze. It shouldn’t have been the matter at hand, but for some reason, the question sprang from my mouth damn near immediately.

  “You’re a virgin?” I asked, palpable fear packed into every syllable.

  She flashed opened her eyes. “No. That was another joke. You know, for such a funny guy, you seriously lack the ability to follow sarcasm.”

  “Well, excuse me, little Miss Comedy. I like you. You’ll have to forgive my nerves about deflowering you.” I was bending over her to grab a piece of toilet paper off the roll to clean her forehead when my erection poked her in the cheek.

  “I guess that’s one way to ask for a blow job,” she teased as I sat back up.

  I quickly moved my cock out of her face. “Shit. Sorry.”

  “Christ, your cock is huge!” she gasped, shifting to the side to get a better view.

  I smiled proudly, rocking back onto my heels and then passing her the toilet paper for her head. “Don’t worry. It’ll fit.” I winked arrogantly.

  She arched an eyebrow and attempted to stifle a laugh. “They always do.”

  “They?” I questioned before tipping my head. “You know what? Let’s go back to you being a virgin. That was more fun.”

  She slowly sat up and used my shoulders to pull herself to her feet. “Fun for who? I’m not losing my virginity to a parsnip that size.”

  “Parsnip? Really?”

  She smirked teasingly.

  After getting a glimpse of the amount of hair that would soon be clogging the drain, I suggested solo showers. She insisted I go first, and when I emerged from the bathroom, I found that she’d done a quickie tidy on her apartment. The clothes that once had littered the floor were now in the hamper, and a few vanilla-scented candles had been lit. If I was being honest, even when it was messy, her apartment was still a hell of a lot cleaner than mine.

  I was lounging on the bed, petting her orange-and-white cat, when she finally emerged from the bathroom.

  Completely.

  Fucking.

  Nude.

  I blinked entirely too many times as though the erotic oasis were going to disappear.

  “You’re wearing clothes,” she said, sauntering toward me.

  I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed. “You’re not.”

  She shook her head and stopped in front of me. In this position, her breasts were at the same level as my mouth. It was that moment that I realized short men had all the luck.

  Using her hips, I guided her between my legs. Her breasts swayed as they taunted me. So fucking close.

  Tipping my head back, I caught her gaze. “So, you seem like a pretty straightforward girl.”

  “Mmm,” she hummed, climbing into my lap.

  I glanced back down at her tits. “Good. Because I want to be straight with you. Foreplay with someone new is always stressful and never any good. I’d fumble around, trying to figure out what the hell you like. And then you’d have to fake at least three orgasms only to hopefully achieve one. So I’d like to propose that we skip all of that for now.”

  She smiled and purposely brushed her nipple across my lips. “I don’t know. It could be fun to watch you fumble around.”

  I latched on to her breast, sucking hard as I ground her against my erection. “Trust me, it’s more fun to make you come on my cock. Then we can try all the awkward foreplay in round two.”

  As she circled her hips, I groaned.

  “I see your point,” she said. “We should definitely introduce our bodies first. No point in a play date if they don’t even like each other.”

  A lazy smirk pulled at the sides of my mouth as I whispered, “Exactly.”

  “Then I suggest you get naked, Hunter.”

  This.

  Woman.

  I threw her on the bed and tugged my boxers off in record time. She giggled as she brazenly opened her legs while I rolled a condom on. That alone might have been the best first-time foreplay I’d ever experienced.

  As I crawled on top of her, I took her mouth in a gentle kiss that soon became frenzied. Her hands roamed over my back while I dipped my hand between her legs finding her more than primed.

  “You’re soaked,” I rasped.

  Her hands slid down and gripped my ass, her short nails biting into each cheek. “Yeah. I lubed up in the bathroom.”

  My lips twisted as I popped up my head in surprise. “You lubed up?”

  She shrugged. “I saw the size of your cock, remember? Better safe than sorry.”

  I grinned wide. “You might be the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. It takes a special kind of girl to pre-lube.”

  She giggled as she took my mouth in another kiss. “I’m glad you approve.”

  “Oh, I so fucking approve, Kara.” I rose to my knees and lined my cock up with her opening. She’d pre-lubed, so there was no point in beating around the bush. Pun intended.

  Her laughter stopped as I pressed the tip inside her. “Fuck,” she moaned, throwing her head back against the pillow.

  I fought the urge to slam inside her, but only because she looked so fucking sexy writhing under me as I worked her with only an inch of my length.

  “Please,” she begged, using my ass to urge me deeper.

  I silenced her with my mouth and then continued the torturous rhythm.

  Suddenly, her hands disappeared from my ass and a finger trailed up my crack and over that sensitive flesh of my ass.

  My body went solid. While I’d been known to enjoy a little finger action during a blow job, I was still surprised. I hadn’t even gotten all the way inside her and she was already going for my ass. Oh, she was bold.

  “Hunter?” she questioned, but her finger once again slid up my crack.

  I swallowed hard and decided there was no fucking way I was going to be the prude in our relationship.

  Relationship?

  I smiled at the thought.

  I liked this girl, and if this was what got her off, so be it.

  “Sorry. You just surprised me. Go ahead.” I leaned over her and pressed my ass higher so she could have better access. The action forced me another inch deeper, causing us both to gasp.

  “Yes,” she hissed, arching her back off the bed, her breasts pressing into my chest. “Move!” she cried.

  Her finger slid over my ass again, which sent an undeniable tingle through my shaft. It was officially time to end the games. As fun as “just the tip” had been, I was ready for “ball
s-deep.”

  We both let out a string of expletives as I drove into her, planting myself at the hilt. Her pussy convulsed around me as she adjusted to the intrusion.

  Her voice was desperate as she begged, “Yes, Hunter, please. Harder.” Then her finger once again teased up my crack, fueling me forward.

  My cock jumped in response. It was more than I could take.

  But I could give her hard if that was what she needed to follow me over the edge.

  I was shifting her legs, one and then the other, to rest over my shoulders, when she palmed my face with both hands and kissed me.

  Deep.

  Needy.

  Desperate.

  This woman. Fuck!

  I was lost in her mouth when her finger stroked up my ass again.

  Only…her hands…were on my face?

  I snapped my eyes open as I swung a hand back landing directly on—

  “Holy fuck!” I yelled, flying off the bed and coming face-to-face with her cat.

  He was chilling at the foot of the bed and I swear to God, the moment our eyes met, the bastard licked his lips.

  “What’s wrong?” Kara asked, clearly confused.

  She had no idea what had happened. I should have played it cool and kept it that way. Fuck, I should have made up some bullshit about the condom breaking to explain away my sudden departure.

  I glanced down at my cock. Shit! Where is the condom?

  “Holy fuck!” I yelled again, rushing back to the bed and spreading her legs wide. “Where’s the condom?”

  “Christ. Calm down. It’s right here.” She slowly pulled it out of her.

  If I hadn’t just gotten a rim job from a cat, I would have said that the sight of an empty condom being slowly removed from a vagina was the grossest thing imaginable. As it stood, it was only the second-grossest thing imaginable and both had happened to me in the last sixty seconds.

  Fuck. My. Life.

  I blew out a loud sigh and settled on the edge of the bed, dropping my head into hands. “Holy fuck. This is not happening.”

  Kara sat up and rested her hand on my back. “What the hell is going on?”

  “Well…” I tried to think of a good lie but gave up pretty quickly. “Your cat licked my ass. Repeatedly.” I peeked over my shoulder just in time to see her mouth fall open. “And I think I enjoyed it.” Because yeah…for some reason I needed to add that fun fact.