F*cking Awkward

by Anthology

  “Hey, you remember.” His blue eyes dazzle in the sunlight and white teeth sparkle.

  I shrug and try to find my voice. “I told you that we stalked you like rabid dogs in high school.”

  Paxton blushes and tucks both of his hands in his pockets. “I don’t think I even knew there were girls in high school. It was all football.”

  “Still seems the case.”

  He extends his hand to me. I take it like any lady would and let him help me from the car.

  “Did you bring your sleepover bag?” he asks, lightening the mood.

  “You didn’t tell me it was a slumber party.” I laugh.

  The enormous and very intricate wood carving above their front door catches my attention and immediately reminds me of Mr. McNeal, Paxton’s father. I will never be able to look at him the same after tonight, even if we do chill.

  “Did you eat, Scout?” Paxton asks, leading me into their massive kitchen.

  The counters are a gorgeous slate gray marble with dark cabinets adorning the walls and intricate tiling on every single surface.

  “Fancy digs.” I run my palms over the smooth marble.

  “You didn’t answer my question.”

  “Oh yes, I ate.” I pry my stare away from admiring all the tiny details and look up to Paxton. “You eat?”

  “Yeah, that’s why I had to delay our date because I had to attend a baby cousin’s birthday party.”

  I nod my head, running head first into an awkward as hell conversation point. What do I say now? Ready to go fuck? Want to get down and dirty? No what what in the butt butt.

  “Face Time and Snapchat don’t do you justice.”

  “Uh?” I ask.

  “You’re gorgeous, Scout.”

  I blush from his compliment and don’t even know how to proceed.

  “You can say thank you now.” Paxton leans back on the counter, crossing his feet at the ankles.

  “Thank you now.”

  “You’re even a smartass in real life.”

  “Yep, that is one thing I am.”

  He snags my wrist and pulls me into his chest until my front is smooshed up against his. He feels just as rock hard as he looks. My forehead comes up to his chin; his arms easily wrap around me, pulling me in even closer.

  “Mmmm, you smell amazing too.” He nuzzles his nose in the crook of my neck.

  “You smell like sex.”

  What in the fuck, Scout? Really?

  “Got something on your mind?”

  “Maybe.” I’m barely able to respond when his tongue lazily traces circles on the side of my neck. My nipples grow rock hard with need and want. And just like that I’m hornier than a teenage boy flipping through his dad’s nude magazines.

  “You have too many clothes on.” Paxton lifts the bottom of my shirt and slowly drags it over my head. “You listened.”

  He takes time to appreciatively take in my purple bra and ample supply of cleavage before unzipping my jeans and wiggling them down. Paxton whirls us around in one quick movement and then lifts me to sit on the countertop. The marble chills my ass through my thin panties.

  I mimic his action and peel off his shirt, taking my time to soak in his god like body. Perfect abs and a dangerous v that peeks out of the top of his jeans riding low on his hips; my fingers unbutton his jeans and he shimmies them the rest of the way down.

  “No strings, Scout; I’ll be out of town in three days.”

  “No strings, Paxton; I’ll be teaching fifth grade in three days and won’t have time for stars like you.” I roll my eyes for a dramatic effect.

  “Jesus, if I could have a girl like you while playing.” He lets out a sexy low groan. “My world would be complete.”

  I wrap my arms around the back of his neck, letting my fingers run through his perfect hair. My lady parts instantly overheat and I’m more than ready for the all-star, even if it’s for one night.

  “Sorry, Paxton, I have the minds of fifth graders to educate.”

  “Then we have tonight.”

  His lips crash onto mine and take control of the situation. His taste is dangerous and addicting. I let Paxton run his tongue over the inside of my mouth and moan. When he bites down on my lower lip, I lose all sense of control and match his punishing kiss with my lips. My hand drifts down between us until my hand covers his harden cock.

  “Oh shit, Scout,” he breathes into my mouth and freezes.

  My fingers sink below the elastic waist of his boxers until I have his hardened cock in my hand. I run my fingernails over the length of his shaft before I grip him and slowly begin pumping him from base to tip. Paxton takes a step back and I hop from the counter. I pull down his tight fitting boxers until they hit the tile floor.

  If I thought his body and looks were spot on, then his dick is officially crowned the champion. Perfect length and width fills my palm as I continue to stroke him until a bead of cum appears on the tip of it. Slowly, I sink to my knees and lick my lips before I rub them against the head of his cock.

  “Scout,” Paxton warns in harsh hiss.

  I know he’s going to tell me to slow down, but not even Satan could stop me now. My lips part and my vision goes up to Paxton, who’s staring down at me with a hungry look covering his face. I dart my tongue out to meet the head of his cock, taking my time to swirl around it before I take him fully in my mouth.

  My hands wrap around to clutch his tight ass as my teeth glide along his cock until I reach the base and then slowly drag back. I play it cool when my gag reflex protests the massive cock trying to bob down the back of my throat. Paxton begins moving his hips to quicken the pace. I work him over for several minutes before he grabs my shoulders and pops my mouth from him.

  The echoing sound of the pop circulates around the kitchen. Paxton has me standing and up in his arms before I can process anything. My ankles wrap around his waist and arms clutched around his neck. His mouth is on mine mingling both of his tastes, forming a tornado of emotion and want.

  I kiss him back, biting at his bottom lip, and shoving my tongue as far into his mouth as I could. When I’m time warped back to my junior high years and my kissing ability, I try to cool my tempo. I want Paxton McNeal more than a crack whore needs their next fix.

  My ass feels another cool surface below and then Paxton lets go of me and that’s when I notice I’m seated on the edge of the light maple dining room table.

  “Lay back, Scout.” Paxton unclips the back of my bra and slowly drags it off with his eyes glazed over with passion.

  I lay back slowly, feeling every single inch of the cool surface meet the skin on my back, causing goose bumps to race all over me. Paxton dips his thumbs under my panties on each side of my thighs and drags them down until I’m buck-naked spread out on his dining room table.

  “I feel like a feast here.” I prop myself up on my elbows and smile down at him.

  “You look fucking delicious.” He leans forward, taking a nipple into his mouth while rolling the other one between the pad of his thumb and finger. His teeth slowly sink down around my nipple, causing a rippling effect to shoot through my body. My hips buck up to meet some sort of release but find none.

  “Lay down, Scout. It’s my turn to taste you.”

  Oh, shit. Oh, shit. He’s going downtown. I slowly relax back until my back is pressed against the table. Paxton spreads my legs, places my feet on top of the table, and dips low until I feel his breathing on my opening. His growls and sexy grunts turn me on and also give me confidence to not stop him. His tongue hits my clit and then delves deeper into me. Paxton combines his teeth and a sucking motion until I’m crying out for Jesus and bucking up to him. His fingers join the movement, opening me further for him.

  “Paxton, I’m going to…”

  Before I finish my last thought, he buries two fingers in me, and curls his fingers until he has me buzzing out of control and screaming his name.

  “Holy fuck, Scout.” Paxton joins me on the table, covering my body.
“That was fucking hot.”

  “Thank you, Jesus.”

  “You’re so welcome. You were so sweet and ready.” Paxton kisses each corner of my mouth until his lips are covering mine and making love to my mouth.

  I don’t have the courage to tell him that there’s been no live cock action in my life for the last several months, but just crumby porn and a dildo. There’s been no dinner, Netflix, or a slight chill between us up until this moment, but intense sexting and now carnal acts.

  I push up on his shoulders and admire his swollen and wet lips. “Cock in me now.”

  Paxton immediately leaves me and I swivel my head to watch his movements. He picks up his jeans from the floor and digs around in his pockets until he pulls out a foil package. We make eye contact and both smile. Hell, I don’t even remember him taking his pants off after the heated induced passion.

  He grabs my wrist until I’m in a sitting position and pulls me from the table and places me back down on a low countertop. He slides the condom on like it’s a natural action for him. My face heats up as I watch him handle his cock. It may be the hottest thing I’ve ever watched; Paxton McNeal holding his cock, readying it for me.

  I curl both of my lips in, biting down on them to control the naughty things I want to scream, like fuck me now. Paxton nudges me back on the counter and wraps one free arm low around my waist to steady me. The head of his cock nudges my entrance and I’ve lost all my damn patience with this fast paced make-out/fuck session.

  I lunge forward until he’s fully seated in me and then let my wild screams go. My hand goes between us and begins to rub my clit. I can’t stand another moment without Paxton fucking me. My heel kicks his ass and Paxton finally comes to the party. He moves slow and precise at first until I pick up the speed of my hand. Paxton begins pounding into me and it only takes a few seconds of it before I fall over the cliff into a blissful orgasm.

  I go limp back on the counter, relishing the lingering feel of my orgasm as Paxton pounds harder and harder into me.

  “Fuck, Scout.” Paxton wraps both arms around my back and picks me up again, pushing my back against a wall.

  My arms wrap tight around his neck, holding on for dear life. Paxton never stops his delicious rhythm with me up in the air. My mouth covers his and I kiss the hell out of him to mask my screams as the next orgasm hits me hard.

  Paxton finally pulls back. “I’m not going to last much longer, babe.”

  Babe. Did he just call me babe? Oh fuck, my ovaries just melted.

  He pulls me from the wall with my legs still securely wrapped around his hips until he lays me back down on the table. The table instantly cools my sweaty back. Paxton covers my body in one quick movement. I roll my head to the side and thank God for this amazing night.

  Paxton starts out slow, rolling his hips in a sexy movement. I lay back and relax enjoying each one of his movements until he has my body wound up once again and ready to implode. He dips his head and begins nipping on the sensitive skin on my neck. Paxton sucks a bit too hard and I know he’ll leave behind a mark, but I don’t have the willpower to stop him.

  “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” I buck my hips up to his, trying to grind on him. “I’m going to go again, Paxton.”

  My fingers dig into the top of his shoulders as I feel the impending orgasm lingering.

  “Go, baby, go. I’m so close.” Paxton picks up his pace until he throws me into a screaming puddle of goo below him.

  Every single one of my muscles relax and feel satisfied as Paxton never slows his pace and growls out his pleasure. My hands tangle in his damp blonde locks.

  BAM.

  Paxton freezes.

  “What was that?” I ask.

  “Oh, shit.” Paxton leaps from the table and then everything else is a complete fucking cluster fuck.

  I watch Paxton dart down a hallway and vanish. I try to perch up on my elbows and slide around a bit on the sweat-slicked table and that’s when I come face to face with Mr. McNeal as in the Mr. McNeal that is Paxton’s dad as in Mr. McNeal my co-worker and elementary PE teacher at Ontario Elementary. His face is perfectly framed between my bent and very spread legs.

  Fucking Paxton darted and threw me to the wolves. Where in the hell did he go?

  “Scout?” Mr. McNeal’s deep voice fills the kitchen.

  Wave? Play deaf? Pretend a seizure? For the love of fuck, what do I do? Close my legs should be first on the agenda and then cover up the girls.

  “I told you to grab it before we left. It’s Jackson’s first Easter, dammit.” Paxton’s mom pushes past his dad. “Oh, dear.”

  Kill me now, God, I’m begging you. Zap me to hell now and let me burn.

  As lady like as possible I close my legs, slowly sit up, and then cover my girls with my arm and grab the Easter basket to place over my beaver. My damp freshly fucked blonde hair falls around my shoulders and the deer in headlights look remains plastered on my face, not knowing what to do or say.

  I need an Easter miracle here, Jesus. I’ll even send you a birthday card.

  “We forgot our grandson’s Easter basket.” Paxton’s dad points to the basket now covering my coochie.

  Could things get any worse? Oh, they can get so much worse! The basket has seen better days, with the handle broken off and my boob imprint smooshed into a chocolate rabbit. The basket looks like the ol’ Easter Bunny had one too many shots of Vodka before delivering it.

  “Here.” I hold out the basket with shaky hands and exposed lady bits.

  I’m going to cut Paxton’s balls off and hang them from my mirror if he doesn’t get down here and save me.

  Mr. McNeal tries to conceal a smile and Paxton’s mom is less than amused as she rips the shredded basket from my hands and turns on her heels. She vanishes down the same hallway as Paxton did. Mr. McNeal remains in place with his hands tucked in his pockets. He does his best job to stare up at the ceiling and I sit fucking naked on his dining room table twiddling my thumbs.

  My clothes are scattered all over the kitchen. I could leap off the table and gather them then run like hell, but I’d be giving him so many more shots of parts I don’t want to even see.

  “George, get your ass in here,” Paxton’s mom’s voice streams loud and clear from the hallway she vanished to.

  I let out a long pent up breath of air when he hustles down the magic vanishing hallway like his asshole son did.

  I leap off the table like my ass is on fire and jump into my panties and the rest of my clothes. Their conversation isn’t very subtle at all.

  “I’m twenty-four, Mom.”

  “I don’t care how old you are and how much sex you’re having, but I’d rather you not hump on your nephew’s Easter basket and my damn dining room table.”

  Oh, god. Oh, god. I’m changing my name, zip code, and moving to a far off island.

  By the time I slip into my sandals, I freeze when I hear my name being hollered.

  “Scout.”

  It’s his mom. Fuck, if it was his dad or the jackass himself, I’d bolt without a guilty conscious. My hand’s on the back door when all three of them come around the corner and I feel naked all over again with my pussy greeting them into their own home.

  “We’re leaving. You two can pick up where you left off. Please just limit the dirty deed to his bed.” She brushes past me like she’s never seen my pussy up close and personal. Mr. McNeal is on her heels, now fighting back laughter.

  “Oh, and Scout, you need to get that mole on your left boob checked out,” Paxton’s mom says as she walks out the door with her trashed Easter basket in hand.

  The door slams and the amazing disappearing Paxton steps up to me.

  “Don’t.” I raise my hand to him and walk through the large home until I find the door I entered through.

  “Scout, I’m so sorry.”

  “You should be sorry since your father just got an up close shot of my lady locker.”

  “I thought they were going to be gone until Monday mo
rning.”

  “Karma’s a bitch, Paxton.” I throw open the door. “But thanks for the amazing three orgasms.” I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.

  Wednesday Morning at Ontario Elementary

  “Are you serious?” Olivia’s olive skin turns pale as I finish up my Easter humping tale.

  “Dead serious. Now do you know why I’ll babysit your little rat first graders if you walk my class to PE? And I’ll even throw in packing our lunches for a month.”

  Olivia’s only response is her hyena uncontrollable laughter drawing everyone’s attention to us. Everyone in the staff room now has their eyes on us. The tears stream down Olivia’s cheeks.

  “Naked,” she barely gets out.

  I kick her under the table because she has no clue we have a full house audience and I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t give a shit since it’s usually her in these mortifying situations. Her laughter finally calms down and everyone else goes back to their heated up left over meals and newspapers. Being the youngest on the staff has some perks.

  “So?” I ask her.

  Olivia begins to open her mouth and then her eyes grow to the size of golf balls. Swiveling in my seat, I turn to see what has her attention. Mr. fucking McNeal.

  “Hello, ladies. Just need to warm up my fish.” He waggles his eyebrows and bites down on the longest and biggest dill pickle I’ve ever seen; looks just like his son’s…

  The End

  * * *

  Dear Reader,

  I hope you enjoyed Chapter 1 of “I Shaved My Legs For This?” Scout’s story is shaping up to be just as hilarious as Olivia’s in “The Big O”. And don’t you worry, you’ll get plenty of Olivia, Officer Lady Boner, and Pedro in Scout’s Story.

  Love,

  HJB

  * * *

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