Duplicity

by Lisa J. Hobman

  They all said they felt from the get go that Fin was right for the band, simply by the way he had gotten on stage in his suit and rocked out like a completely different person. And if I had believed in fate, I would have agreed that perhaps it had been Kismet at work. In fact, the more I thought things through, the more I was beginning to believe…

  After bidding the group of friends goodnight, Fin and I made our way outside. He took my hand and spun me around to face him. “Hey, we didn’t finish off the conversation we started earlier.”

  I thought back to the moment he took me in his arms when he had finished serenading me with Aqualung’s “Strange and Beautiful”.

  I felt my cheeks heat and was thankful we were outside in the dark of the Edinburgh night. “Oh, yeah. We kind of got sidetracked, I suppose.”

  He released my hand, and stepping toward me, he slipped his fingers into my hair and stroked my cheeks with his thumb. “I know we said we’d take this slow…and I really want to respect your need to do that, and I do. I really do. But…I can’t help the fact that I want you, Star. When we’re apart, I can’t stop thinking about you. I want to get this whole thing right, but I’m scared of fucking up again, so please set the pace here. Tell me what you want…please?”

  Gazing up into his hooded eyes, I saw such sincerity, need, and desire all mixed together, and my mind was made up. “I want you too, Fin.”

  ♫♫♫

  We almost ran across the city in the direction of his apartment block, only sharing heat-filled glances and smiles. A promise-filled silence hung heavily in the air between us and I was sure passers-by could read what was on our minds. But I didn’t care. Not even a little bit. I let him lead me, trying to keep up with his long-legged, determined strides.

  He stopped abruptly at a crossing point, hit the button to cease the relentless evening traffic, and turned to me. “Are we fucking crazy? Are we going completely mental, Star? We’ve known each other for what…two minutes in the great scheme of things.”

  My heart plummeted in my chest. “We…I mean, I can go home—”

  He stepped toward me and cupped my cheek in his huge hand. Dipping forward, he rested his forehead on mine, and I could see his jaw ticking under his skin. His warm breath made my face tingle. “Oh God, no. Don’t misunderstand me here. I have no intention of letting you go home. Not unless you want to. No, this…this between us. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. And it’s terrifying the shit out of me. It’s all so fast. But, at the same time, I don’t want it to stop.”

  “Neither do I.”

  The crossing began to beep to let us know it was safe to go, and Fin kissed my forehead before grasping my hand again so we could set off once more.

  We arrived at the door of Fin’s apartment, and he smiled warmly as he slipped the key into the lock, turned it, and moved aside so I could enter. Once I was standing in his living room, he appeared before me. Lifting his hand, he stroked his fingertips gently down my cheek. “I want you so much, Star. So, so much. You’re like no one I’ve ever met. I’m drawn to you. But I fucked things up before, and God knows I don’t want to do that again.” A crease appeared between his brows and his internal conflict was almost palpable.

  I stepped closer and smoothed my hands up his chest. “Let’s just forget what happened before, okay? I think you made it clear how you feel earlier. I think we may have passed the point of taking it slow, but…we can take tonight slow.”

  He lowered his mouth to mine and inhaled deeply as his hands found my hair, and I gripped his jacket, tugging it from his broad shoulders. He removed his hands from my hair long enough to let the coat fall to the floor, but within a split second, he was pressed against me again. His heart pounded against my chest and my legs weakened as our tongues became re-acquainted, tangling in their sensual dance of lust. Desire, hot and heavy, tingled at my sex and my nipples peaked, rubbing at the lace of my bra. He pulled away from me once more and slipped his hand into mine, tugging slightly as he walked backward toward the bedroom.

  Fin

  You know how people joke about having an angel and a devil on their shoulders? The ones who have conflicting arguments about a person’s decisions? Yeah, well that was usually me. It had been me the last time I had found myself in this position with Star. Thankfully, this time my angel and devil were on the same page for once.

  I led her toward my bedroom, walking backwards so I didn’t have to take my eyes off her. God, she was stunning. There was no other word for her. Every strand of her silky blonde and pink hair, every permanent mark of artwork on her skin; her curves, her eyes, her breasts. Everything. I know they say fools rush in and all that, but fuck if I was going to think about that. I was overwhelmed by all these feelings and emotions that had never reared their heads before, and I just couldn’t think straight.

  All I knew was that the way I felt right then and there bore no resemblance whatsoever to the way I’d felt for Elise. And I nearly married her. You hear all these things about love at first sight and such, but I was a total cynic about that kind of stuff. But this girl. My strange and beautiful Star had some kind of hold over me. And yes, it was scary, but nothing worth having ever follows the easy path, surely? My erection strained at my jeans, and I ached to have her. To be inside her.

  All I could think about was making love to this sexy, quirky woman who broke the mould of what I had been instilled with as my ‘ideal’. She was like no one I had ever encountered. Now, I know my experience had been limited, but there was no ignoring the reaction I’d had to her from the beginning. She was my heart’s choice, and that was what mattered.

  I was…beguiled.

  Once inside my bedroom, I leaned toward her again and covered her mouth with my own. The taste of her and the feel of her heart beating against mine was an intoxicating combination; one that I definitely wanted more of.

  I gripped the hem of her T-shirt and slowly lifted it up her body, revealing the trail of intricate ink as I went. I dropped the shirt to the floor and delicately traced the tattoo that caressed her ribcage. Tiny bumps rose on her skin and she gasped. It was the most erotic sound I had ever heard. Reaching around her back, I unclasped her black lace bra and slipped it down her arms, freeing her pert breasts from their confines. My mouth watered and my erection throbbed with need. Bringing my hands back around, I watched her nipples bead as I rolled my thumbs over their delicate pink peaks. Her eyes closed and her head drifted back a little.

  I let my fingers trail down the sides of the full, creamy mounds of flesh, and skimmed the inward curve of her waist. Sliding my fingers inside the waistband of her jeans, I located the button and popped it open. She took over for a moment and shimmied the denim over the curve of her hips and down her slender legs. Once the jeans had been kicked aside, she stood before me in just her black lace panties, and I had never seen a sexier sight.

  Suddenly feeling a little overdressed, I shrugged off my own T-shirt and jeans. We were on equal footing now. Just our underwear creating a barrier between us, although parts of my body were doing their best to reach her already.

  She clenched her fists at her sides as if she was desperate to touch me again but was holding back. I closed the small space between us but didn’t touch her. We were mere millimetres apart and the heat radiating between us could have easily sparked and combusted. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back. Her breathing increased in speed and her chest rose and fell as her lips parted ever so slightly. But I wanted to take my time. To learn her body’s responses. I had to fight my animalistic urges to throw her down and take what I wanted. What I needed.

  My own heart was thudding out a hard, desperate tempo of its own. “What do you want, Star? Tell me what you need.”

  With her eyes closed, she whispered, “You. I want you. I need to feel you, Fin.” Her eyelids fluttered open, and she gazed up at me. I slowly lowered my head until my lips were almost touching hers. She stepped into me and seductively ran her tongue over the Cupid�
�s bow of her mouth. Taking it as an invitation, I brushed my lips against hers, gently at first, keeping my eyes locked on her. I let my tongue sweep out along her full bottom lip before drawing it between my teeth. As if she could wait no longer, her arms came about my neck and she jumped, wrapping her legs around me and almost knocking me from my feet.

  I staggered backwards until I leaned against the wall as she ground herself into me and I began to see stars at the sensations of pleasure her body was creating deep within mine.

  Star

  I don’t know what came over me.

  I was becoming my own version of Jekyll and Hyde. That’s what this man did to me. He made me needy for his touch. As I rubbed myself up and down his fabric-covered length, I was ready to let go and cry out. If I just continued a little more…the friction was sending me heaven bound. But I didn’t want to give in this way.

  I needed more.

  Lowering my legs to the floor again, I pulled away from him, and the confusion on his face almost made me giggle. Taking his hand, I pulled him toward the bed and laid myself back. I slipped my black lace panties from my body and let them fall to the floor. I had never behaved so wantonly in my life, but it was exhilarating. I was taking charge. Asking for what I needed without using words. And he understood fully. Removing his boxers and allowing his erection to spring free, he bent to the drawer in the night stand and took out a condom.

  Once he had sheathed himself, he stalked toward me like a predator cornering his prey. Crazy really, as I already considered myself caught, and very willing to surrender to him. The bed ducked as the weight of his body pressed onto the mattress and he gazed down at me.

  “You really are beautiful, Star,” he told me as he lowered himself down. Holding himself up on his elbows, he trailed kisses along my jaw and down my neck. Sparks of pleasure lit like bolts of electricity everywhere his lips touched. My skin tingled, alive with desire for him. I lifted my legs to wrap them around his waist, needing to feel him against me, feel the warmth of his skin covering me.

  Lifting his face once more so he could watch me, he slowly sank inside my body and began to move. The overwhelming delight of welcoming him in made me roll my head back and moan. His lips traced warm, wet patterns along my flesh until my nipple was sucked into the heat of his mouth and I almost fell apart right then. I had never been on the verge of orgasm by being kissed this way. But Fin had a magic way with his mouth, and everything he did caused my muscles to clench around him, pushing me closer and closer to release.

  My nerve endings tingled in recognition of the building sensations deep within my core, and I moved in perfect rhythm with Fin as he kissed and caressed me wherever he could reach. Our mouths took what they needed and our kisses became urgent.

  Before long, I was catapulted into outer space, gasping as I clenched around him, the intensity of my orgasm taking my breath away. I finally and unequivocally understood what people meant when they talked of the earth moving.

  My ecstasy triggered Fin’s, and he came undone with a loud, erotic cry before burying his face in the crook of my neck and nuzzling until his breathing settled.

  “Wow,” he panted as he flopped onto his side and laid his head on his arm. And that one word pretty much summed up the experience for me too.

  “Oh yeah.” I turned my face toward him and couldn’t help the grin that made its way across my face.

  Reaching out, he pulled me into his side and then stretched toward the end of the bed and pulled the tartan blanket up over our naked bodies. We drifted to sleep wrapped around each other, without further conversation.

  Fin

  When I woke the following morning and stretched out my arm to feel for Star, the bed was cold and my eyes sprang open. I was alone. Shit. Did she leave? As my brain gained consciousness, I heard water running, and singing. I smiled at the sound and rolled onto my back, taking a quick glance at my clock. It was almost seven. I languidly extended my taut muscles and replayed the intensity of the night before. As I remembered the feel of her wrapped around me, my whole body awoke, ready to indulge all over again.

  Climbing out of bed, I walked into my bathroom and was immediately cocooned in the steam billowing from the shower enclosure. She likes it hot. The errant thought made me chuckle and the singing stopped.

  Her head poked out of the shower screen. “Good morning, Mr. Hunter. Care to join me?”

  The seductive tone of her voice and her accent excited me. I didn’t need to be encouraged, and so I climbed in behind her, sliding my hands around her stomach and pressing my erection into her back.

  ♫♫♫

  At around eight, as we ate scrambled eggs on English muffins, I kept catching her watching me in my periphery. There was something on her mind.

  I smirked and shook my head. “Come on. Out with it, Mendoza.”

  She scrunched her brow and her cheeks turned a sexy shade of rose. “Out with what?”

  “Oh, come on, Star. I may not have known you long but all the signs are there. You have something to say, so say it.”

  She placed her fork down and pushed her plate away. “I…I think I’m waiting for you to ask me to leave.” Her voice was a fragile whisper, and she momentarily let her head fall forward.

  “Really?” I placed my own cutlery down and pushed my chair away from the table. What had I done to elicit such a negative reaction? “Come here.” I patted my lap.

  The pink in her cheeks grew brighter. “What? Why?”

  “Just come here,” I insisted, and thankfully the strong-willed woman acquiesced, walked around, and positioned herself in my lap. I tucked the curly strands of damp hair behind her ear. “Star, whatever I’ve done to make you feel that way, I’m sorry. I don’t want you to leave. Although I know you have to go to work soon, so I’ll let you off for that. But I do want you here. I want to get to know you. All of you. I know we rushed into things the first time and I acted like a total wanker, but now I know what I want, and that’s you, here with me. I want us to see where this is going because, I don’t know about you, but I…I feel this could be something important. Do…do you?” I swallowed hard, suddenly overcome with anxiety at what I was suggesting. In not so many words, I was telling her I wanted a serious relationship. I hadn’t known her very long but I just…knew.

  A sweet smile spread across her lips and she took my face between her palms. “I really do, Fin. It feels right. Which—as you pointed out last night—is totally crazy considering the length of time we’ve known each other. But, every relationship has a beginning and I’m happy to see where this goes.”

  On hearing her affirm her feelings about us, relief and excitement surged in my veins and I pulled her down so I could kiss her deeply.

  And my God, I wanted her again.

  Star

  It was great to be home.

  Not from Fin’s. No, I hated leaving there. I mean from the coffee shop. Alec had badgered me for info all day long at work and told me my ever present smile was beginning to look sinister. I couldn’t help laughing out loud at that. Luckily, I knew he was only joking. Jeez, a girl couldn’t win.

  On more than one occasion, I found myself humming “Strange and Beautiful” and realised I was drifting off into a dreamland where only Fin and I existed, wrapped around one another in his oversized bed.

  Even after arriving home, making myself a peppermint tea, and sitting down on the couch to drink it, I was off in some fantasy world that almost caused me to scald myself. I caught the slipping mug just in time as the phone began to ring.

  “Hello?” I asked breezily.

  “Hey, pumpkin. It’s Mom and Dad. How’s our little Star doing?”

  I rolled my eyes, thankful they couldn’t witness my petulance. “Hardly little, Dad. But… I’m good, actually.”

  “Hey, sweetie. I know that tone of voice. Who is he?” my mom’s voice chimed in.

  My God, how were parents so attuned with their kids when they lived so far away? “I’m sure I have no
idea what you’re talking about, Mom.”

  “Oh, come now, Star. I’m your mother. You can’t fool me.”

  She was so right. I sighed but did so with a huge grin on my face. “He’s gorgeous and his name is Fin. Oh, and did I mention he’s a lawyer?”

  There was a heavy silence down the line and I just knew they were having one of their silent, mouthed conversations. “Oh my gosh, a lawyer,” Mom would be mouthing, and Dad would be responding, “Atta girl, Star. Help him to change the world, Princess.” I fought the giggle trying to escape. “Mom? Dad? Are you still there?” It was hard to keep a straight face.

  “We sure are, sweetie. So, tell us about Fin. How long have you known him?”

  “Oh, not long. But…well, I think this could be something. We just…we click. They say opposites attract, right? And I think that’s us. He’s all corporate suits and formality, and I’m all tattoos and pink hair.”

  “He…he sounds very serious, honey. Are you sure he’s right for you?” Mom, ever the worrier. Thankfully, I knew there was another side to his personality.

  “Oh, Mom, you have no idea. He has an interesting hobby.”

  My dad gasped. “Oh, God. Tell me he’s not into all that kinky stuff you read about in those erotic romance novels. Not that I’ve read any, but…well, you hear things. And I know we’re very open, honey, but I’m not sure I—”

  “Jerry, for goodness sake. Let the girl speak, will you?”

  “Sorry, Martha, but I just don’t want her—”

  “Mom! Dad! Stop! He’s a singer. Okay? He sings. That’s all. Jeez.”

  There was an audible sigh of relief down the line. “Oh, that’s great, honey. What kind of music does he enjoy singing? Opera?”

  I snorted, almost choking on the mouthful of tea I had just gulped. How the heck had they come to that conclusion? Was it the mere fact he was a lawyer? Talk about judging. It surprised me as they weren’t normally so quick to assume. “Opera? Um…not exactly. He sings rock songs. Loud, gravelly rock songs. And his voice, ohmygod, it’s enough to melt your p…” Suddenly remembering I was talking to my parents, I just about stopped the word panties from falling from my lips. “…heart. He melts my heart with his voice.”