by Amy Clipston
“Why?” Lizzie Anne asked.
“What happened?” Lindsay asked.
“I don’t even know where to begin,” Katie said, shrugging. “I allowed Jake Miller to give me a ride heemet from the bakery last Friday when I was stranded without a ride, and mei dat was very upset I was alone with a Mennonite bu.” She hugged her knees and stared at the ground as she spoke. “I was forbidden to see him. I made the mistake of sneaking over to Matthew’s driveway to talk to Jake alone the next day. I only wanted to tell him I was forbidden from seeing him or talking to him. Unfortunately, mei dat caught me as I was coming back, and he was even more enraged. He asked Mammi to watch me at the bakery to be certain I don’t even look at Jake Miller again.”
“It’s all because Jake gave you a ride heemet?” Lizzie Anne asked, breaking another cookie apart.
“There’s more,” Katie said with a lump swelling in her throat. “I avoided Jake all last week, as difficult as it was, and Friday I asked Mammi if I could walk to the store to buy fabric to make a dress for Janie for her birthday. While I was walking there …” Her voice quaked as tears began to trickle from her eyes. She swallowed a deep, shuddering breath.
“Katie.” Lindsay moved over, looping her arm over Katie’s shoulder. “What’s wrong, mei liewe?”
“Slow down.” Lizzie Anne took Katie’s hand in hers. “It’s okay. Take your time.”
Katie wiped away her tears with the back of her hand. Speaking slowly through fresh tears, she recounted the story of her attack, Jake’s rescue, the bishop’s interference, her parents’
reaction to the incident, and her grandparents’ visit. Her friends listened with their mouths gaping.
“Oh, Katie,” Lindsay said, pulling her into a hug. “I’m so very sorry this happened to you. You must’ve been so scared.”
Katie nodded while Lizzie Anne hugged her too.
“I don’t understand your parents,” Lizzie Anne said. “You needed their comfort more than anything, and they punished you instead. I’m so glad your mammi believed you.”
Katie shook her head. “I don’t know what I’d do without Mammi or Nancy.” She gestured at Lindsay and Lizzie Anne. “Or you two.”
“I don’t understand.” Lindsay looked confused. “Why don’t your parents believe you?”
“Why do they think you would even imagine making up something so horrible?” Lizzie Anne chimed in.
“I don’t know.” Katie shrugged and pulled up more blades of grass. “I guess mei dat has lost all confidence in me since I disobeyed him by getting a ride with Jake and then speaking to him at Matthew’s house after he told me not to. Mei dat is more worried about appearances than anything else, including my feelings or my safety.”
“It doesn’t make sense at all,” Lindsay said, frowning. “You’re his dochder, and you were hurt. You’re what matters most, not what other people think about your behavior.”
“I’m surprised at your mamm, Katie.” Lizzie Anne shook her head with disappointment. “I know she can be strict, but why doesn’t she believe you were attacked? Your dress was ripped. What more evidence does she need?”
Katie’s lip quivered. “I don’t know why she won’t talk to me. Sometimes I think she goes along with mei dat to keep the peace between them.”
“But your feelings should be more important,” Lindsay said. “My mother always took time to listen to Jessica and me, even when we were in trouble. Besides, what’s so bad about Jake driving you heemet when you’re stranded?” She looked curious. “And why was he in the bakery in the first place?”
“Jake is working in the bakery now.” Katie brushed a few stray blades of grass off her apron. “He and Daadi are building new display cabinets. I had lunch with him and the other bakers a few times. The day I was stranded, Mammi thought I’d gotten a ride heemet with Samuel. I was taking inventory in the pantry, and when I returned to the kitchen, I realized everyone had left without me. The weather was bad, and no one was answering the phone. Jake insisted on driving me so I didn’t have to walk in the rain. When I got heemet, mei dat was really upset. He called me disobedient and said I could wind up with a bad reputation if I kept behaving that way.”
“You’ve been eating lunch with Jake?” Lizzie Anne asked between bites of cookie.
“Wait a minute. I’m confused.” Lindsay held her hand up. “Do you like Jake Miller, Katie?”
Katie paused and studied Lindsay’s curious expression. If she admitted her true feelings for Jake, would it cause problems between her and Lindsay since Jessica used to like him?
“You can tell us,” Lizzie Anne said. “We won’t tell your dat.”
“You do like him, don’t you?” Lindsay asked.
Katie nodded. “Ya, I do.”
“Does he like you?” Lindsay asked.
“I don’t know,” Katie said. “I thought he did, but now I’m just so confused. We can’t be together no matter what. We just have to pretend like we don’t know each other at all.”
“Oh, my.” Lindsay looked stunned. “I had no idea you liked Jake.”
“You can’t tell anyone,” Katie said quickly. “Please. I’m already in enough trouble. If word gets around about this, things will get worse for me.”
“You can trust us.” Lizzie Anne held out a cookie, and Katie took it even though she had no appetite. “I never imagined you would fall for Jake Miller. No wonder you have no interest in the Amish buwe in our district.”
“It really doesn’t matter if I like Jake or not. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.” Katie’s voice trembled, and she hoped she wouldn’t cry again. “If I talk to Jake and word gets back to my parents, I’ll wind up getting shunned, and I don’t want that. It’s painful enough as it is, and I miss Jake. I don’t see how things could get much worse than this.”
“I’m so sorry,” Lizzie Anne said. “You must be heartbroken.”
Lindsay shook her head, frowning. “I can’t imagine how you feel.”
“Danki.” Katie blew out a sigh. “Nancy and Mammi said I’ll meet a nice Amish bu someday and fall in love, but I just don’t believe that could ever happen. How will I ever find someone who is as nice and wonderful as Jake? It seems as if we have a special connection, and I’ve always believed you only find that once in your lifetime.”
“I don’t know,” Lizzie Anne said, handing Katie another cookie. “But hopefully you’ll find someone special. Don’t give up hope.”
Lindsay smiled. “I agree. You’re schee and sweet, Katie. There’s someone out there for you. I’m sure of it.”
Lizzie Anne’s eyes lit up. “Maybe after you’re allowed to leave the haus again, we can go to a youth gathering at another district. My cousins are over in Lititz, and we can go there to see them. I imagine there are some nice and handsome buwe out there who’d love to meet you.”
“That’s a great idea, Lizzie Anne,” Lindsay chimed, grinning. “We’ll have fun going out there.”
Katie sighed while her friends discussed the trip to Lititz. But the only boy I want is Jake Miller, she thought.
14
The following morning, Jake steered through the parking lot of the hardware store and merged onto the highway. He’d spent most of the weekend thinking about Katie and worrying about her. He couldn’t erase the memory of the fear he’d seen in her eyes when he’d driven up to the scene of her attack. What if he hadn’t made it there in time? The thought had haunted him all weekend — along with his frustration with Katie’s strict father. How could a father be so cold as to not care when his daughter had been attacked?
Pushing the thought away, Jake glanced over at Eli in the passenger seat. He needed to get his mind focused on his job before he went crazy from frustration. “I think we have everything we need since I picked up the wood Friday.”
The older man rubbed his long, graying beard and nodded. “Ya, I do think we’re all set, at least for a few days.” He grinned. “Until mei fraa changes her mind about the design again
.”
Jake nodded. “I guess all wives reserve the right to change their minds, right?”
Eli patted Jake’s arm. “You’re a smart young man. With that attitude, you’ll make a fraa happy someday.”
Jake forced a smile, but he couldn’t keep his thoughts from turning to Katie. He turned to face the older man. “How’s Katie doing?”
Eli frowned, and Jake’s heart sank with worry.
“She seemed okay yesterday at church,” Eli said. “Although I noticed she never once smiled. I’m afraid she’s very unhappy and upset about what happened Friday.”
Jake shook his head. “I can’t even imagine how upset she is. She endured a lot.”
Eli touched Jake’s arm. “Elizabeth and I are so thankful you helped her, Jake. I know we’ve already told you, but you truly were an angel Friday. You saved our Katie’s life.”
Jake’s stomach churned as he thought of the incident. He wished he could’ve done more to comfort Katie, but the bishop had ruined his chance to talk with her further. He knew more than ever that he cared for Katie. In fact, he loved her.
He hoped he could steal a glance at her when they arrived at the bakery. He knew he had to stay away from her in order to prevent more problems, yet he couldn’t stop the feeling that he and Katie belonged together. How could Jake bridge the chasm that kept them apart? He needed to be with her. He wanted to protect her and care for her, but how could they ever be together when they lived worlds apart?
“Eli, how did you know you wanted to be baptized into the Amish faith?” Jake asked.
Eli rubbed his beard and considered the question. “I always knew it was something I wanted to do. God had put it in my heart when I was a young boy. Why are you asking, Jacob?”
Jake slowed at a stoplight before facing Eli. “I always wondered why my mother left the church. I know she met my father and converted when they decided to marry, but why did she decide not to be Amish when the rest of her family was?”
“I think that’s a question for your mamm to answer,” Eli said.
“That’s very true. In fact, my parents invited me over for supper tonight, so I’ll ask her when I see her.” Jake paused for a moment and thought of his grandparents. “You’ve known my grandparents a long time, right?”
“Ya, that’s true.” Eli gazed out the window. “I believe your daadi and I were approximately ten or so when we met. Maybe even younger.”
“How did my grandparents react when my mother left the church for my father?” The light turned green, and Jake accelerated through the intersection.
Eli was silent for a few moments. “They were very upset and disappointed.”
Jake nodded, steering onto Beechdale Road.
“When a kind leaves the faith, the parents feel as if they don’t know that kind at all,” Eli continued. “The kind who leaves is not the kind they raised in the faith.”
“My parents have a good relationship with my grandparents now,” Jake said. “How did they come to work things out then?”
“The birth of you and your bruder helped,” Eli said.
Jake let the words soak through him as he motored into the parking lot behind the bakery. He thought of his twin brother, Jeremy, who had died in a car accident when they were sixteen. He missed Jeremy every day of his life.
“My grandparents were a great source of strength for my parents and me when Jeremy died,” Jake said.
“Ya, I bet they were.” Eli nodded. “That was a difficult time.”
“But I can see what you mean about how children helped to bridge the gap after my mother was shunned,” Jake said.
“Ya,” Eli agreed. “Your grandparents wanted to be a part of your life, and your parents wanted the same. It took some time, but they worked through it all. I’ve seen families that never heal, but thanks to their faith and God’s help, your family did.”
Jake silently considered Eli’s words as he steered into a parking space at the back of the bakery and turned off the truck.
Eli patted Jake’s shoulder again. “Now let’s get this truck unloaded. We need to start working. Unfortunately, those cabinets aren’t going to build themselves.”
Jake hopped from the truck and stared toward the bakery while thinking of Katie. Could he possibly steal a moment to speak to her without anyone spotting them together? He wondered how she felt about him. Did she feel anything for him? Was she, too, wondering what to make of this strong connection they shared?
“Jake?” Eli called. “You need to come help me. I’m an old man. Remember?”
“I’m coming, Eli.” Jake jogged to the truck bed and tried to focus on hauling the supplies into the bakery.
Katie straightened the packages of cookies and cakes on the display in the front of the bakery. Her grandmother had asked her to complete her work up front before she began her morning baking duties, and Katie hoped she could finish setting out the fresh baked goods before Jake and her grandfather arrived from their supply run.
Although Katie hoped to see Jake, she knew it would be a bad idea. She’d be tempted to speak to him and run the risk of getting into more trouble. Yet she’d replayed the events of Friday frequently in her mind over the weekend, and she wanted to thank him again for saving her.
The squeak of the front door drew Katie’s attention to the front of the bakery, where Eli and Jake were entering with a load of supplies. Her cheeks flamed when Jake met her gaze, and she quickly turned her attention back to the task of adding more packages of cookies to the display. She gathered the remaining chocolate chip cookies from the tray she’d used to carry the fresh baked goods from the kitchen and then placed them on the shelf.
“Wie geht’s,” Eli called as he walked over to the cabinet. “How are you today, Katie Joy?”
“Fine, danki,” Katie said, while straightening the rows of chocolate chip cookies. “How are you, Daadi?”
“Gut, gut,” Eli said, placing the supplies on the floor. “I’m going to go say hello to Elizabeth,” he said as he walked through the doorway to the kitchen.
Katie fixed the chocolate chip cookies and lifted the empty tray. As she turned toward the kitchen, she found Jake standing in front of her. Her heart thudded in her chest as they studied each other.
“Good morning,” she mumbled, moving past him.
“How are you?” he called after her.
“I’m fine,” she said, facing him. “Danki.”
“I’ve been worried about you,” he said, his eyes full of concern.
“Danki for saving me,” she said, gripping the tray in her fingers.
He shook his head. “You don’t need to thank me.”
Katie pointed toward the kitchen. “I have to go.”
“I know.” Jake nodded toward the new display cabinets. “I have to work too.”
Katie rushed into the kitchen and dropped the tray on the counter with a loud clatter.
“Katie?” Amanda asked. “Was iss letz?”
“Nothing.” Katie wrung her trembling hands together. “I’m fine.” She stared down at her workstation and wished her body would stop quaking. For the first time since she’d begun talking to Jake, she felt awkward around him. When she’d looked into Jake’s eyes, all she could think of was how he’d held and consoled her Friday. Why did things have to change between them? How would she ever recover from everything that had happened Friday?
Grabbing a cookbook, Katie flipped through the recipes, her hands still shaking with the confusing emotions that coursed through her body. She stared at the words in the book but couldn’t comprehend them. The only thoughts in her mind were of Jake working in the next room while she wasn’t permitted to even look at him.
A hand on her shoulder caused her to jump. “Katie?” her grandmother said. “Why don’t you take a walk with me?”
Katie glanced up at Elizabeth and nodded. “Ya, Mammi.”
Elizabeth placed her hand on Katie’s arm and led her to the back of the bakery. After pulling on their clo
aks, they walked together toward the parking lot. Katie studied Jake’s truck while they walked toward the bench on the far end of the lot.
“You seem upset,” Elizabeth said, placing her hand on Katie’s shoulder again. “I wonder if you should go heemet and rest today. You went through a lot on Friday. I think you may have come back to work too soon.”
“No,” Katie said quickly, shaking her head. “If I go heemet, I’ll only get into more trouble with mei dat. I can’t endure any more stress at mei haus, Mammi. Please don’t make me go heemet.”
Elizabeth grasped Katie’s hand and shook her head. “No one is going to make you go heemet, Katie. It’s okay if you stay, but I’m worried about you.” She gestured toward the bench. “Have a seat and relax awhile.”
Katie lowered herself onto the cool bench and stared at the bakery.
“Talk to me, Katie.” Elizabeth took Katie’s hand in hers.
Katie shook her head. “I’m so confused, Mammi.”
“Why are you confused?” Elizabeth asked, her expression full of sympathy. “You know you can tell me anything.”
Katie stared across the parking lot toward Jake’s truck while gathering her thoughts. “I have all of these conflicting feelings inside me, and I don’t know what to do with them. I’m so angry with my parents. They won’t listen to me, and they don’t believe what happened on Friday. Lindsay and Lizzie Anne said they should believe me because I’m their dochder, and I agree. But all mei dat cares about is how my behavior appeared to the bishop. What about how I feel?” She gestured to her chest. “Why don’t I matter to my own parents?”
Elizabeth squeezed Katie’s hand. “You do matter, Katie. Your parents aren’t thinking clearly right now, but give them time. They’ll realize how callous and wrong they’ve been, and they will apologize to you. I know in my heart that things will get better for you at heemet.”
Katie sniffed and wiped her eyes. “To make matters even worse, I don’t understand my feelings for Jake.”
“What do you mean?” Elizabeth looked concerned.
