by Nella Tyler
I finally turned off the water, stepped out of the shower, and toweled dry. I felt exhausted and emotionally drained. After pulling on my oversized T-shirt that I used as a nightgown, I turned off the lights and just climbed into bed. I tried not to think about Luke or about my dad. Tomorrow, I would call Samantha. I needed someone to talk to, and even if she gave me an I-told-you-so, I knew that she would be there for me. The thought made me feel a little better, but just a little.
Chapter 4
I woke up feeling refreshed and calm the following morning, but then I remembered everything. My pleasant mood evaporated like steam. Shit. My heart pounded dully in my chest, and I felt a hollow, sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. All of this is because I had wanted to prove to myself that I could earn a paycheck – to prove to my dad that I could be self-sufficient and independent. Well, that hadn’t gone over too well, had it? I had come to the realization that I wasn't self-sufficient at all. If I really wanted to prove something to my dad, I would have to tell him I would pay rent for the condo or find my own place. I would tell him that I would make the payments on my car.
Sure, I could do that with my access to my trust fund, but that was defeating the entire purpose of claiming self-sufficiency, wasn't it? Maybe what I needed to do today, instead of wallowing in self-pity, was make a budget. What exactly were my living expenses? I had no idea. Anything I needed, I put on a credit card that I had owned since I was eighteen years old. My father had given me a spending limit for every month and made the payments on the card as long as I adhered to the agreement. I had – no questions asked. As far as I was concerned, this was normal for any daughter.
I paid for my own food. Well actually, I guess I didn't. I had yet to receive my first paycheck from Luke, so I guess I wasn't self-sufficient at all. Everything I had bought up until this point had been funded by my trust fund or the bank account that my parents had set up for me years ago. I was careful with my money and didn't spend it on frivolous things like thousand-dollar shoes or purses. Actually, I was rather frugal, I thought.
Still, the realization that I was so far from being self-sufficient than I had considered myself to be left me feeling deflated, discouraged, and depressed. I found my phone on the couch and accessed my contact list. I had Samantha on speed dial and pressed the button. After two rings, she answered.
"Hey, Molly, how's it going?"
"Not too well," I admitted.
"What's happened? What's the matter?"
"Are you doing anything today?" I asked her.
"No, I actually have the day off and was just planning on hanging around the apartment, doing laundry, you know, the boring stuff."
"I don't have work today, either," I said. I didn't give her the reason why. "You want to hang out? Go window shopping or just hang out at the park?"
"Sure, Molly, but-"
"I just need a girl's day out,” I said quickly, heading off any questions. “Maybe we could go to the mall, hang out there for a while, see if there's anything that attracts our interest."
"You know very well that that won't take very long," Samantha laughed. "Actually, there are a couple of things I was thinking of picking up. I could use a couple of new tops, maybe even a new pair of shoes, and…well, whatever else tickles my fancy!"
I laughed, although it wasn't as boisterous as it usually was. All things considered, though, I thought I was faking an upbeat mood pretty well.
"Let me pick you up in about an hour, okay? Most of the shops in the mall should be open by them."
"Sounds good to me, Samantha," I agreed. "See you then.”
*
I was actually having a good time with Samantha. We had been at the mall for a couple of hours already and it was nearing lunchtime, but I enjoyed just hanging out with my friend while she shopped for this or that. I wasn't much in the mood for shopping, and after my debates with myself, I decided that I shouldn’t be spending any money on things that I didn't really, honestly, truly need.
For the first time, I realized that I often did that. I would often see an ad for something that garnered my attention. It wasn't really any big stuff, mainly clothing, but still, I realized that there were many times I went out and bought something, even though I didn't really need it. In my mind's eye, I revisited my closet and realized that I had a lot of clothes that I didn't even wear.
I frowned.
"You've been awfully quiet," Samantha commented, flipping through hangers of jeans on a circular rack in one of the clothing stores. "Something on your mind?"
I glanced from her fingers busily sorting through the hangers toward her face, only to find her watching me with a knowing eye. I shrugged.
She nodded. "I knew it." She shook her head and smiled. "Let's just shop for a while, enjoy our time, and then we can have a heart-to-heart over lunch, okay?"
I said nothing.
"I know there's something on your mind, girlfriend, and I can tell when you need someone to talk to." She sobered as she pulled a pair of jeans from the rack and examined them with a critical eye. "Look, Molly, I know you were disappointed in my comments the other day, but I want you to know that whether I agree with you or not on anything, you can always talk to me. You don't have to figure everything out by yourself."
A surge of affection for my best friend swept through me and I smiled. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Samantha. You seem to always know what I need when I need it."
"That's why we’re such good friends," she said with a grin, tilting her head toward the changing room. "I'm going to try these on. You don't find anything that tickles your fancy in here?"
I shook my head. "Not really, but you take your time. I'm having fun." Samantha headed to the changing room and paused to glance over her shoulder at me.
"Liar," she said gently before disappearing into the changing room.
*
An hour later, we sat at the food court with two slices of pepperoni pizza each and two diet sodas. I know that Samantha wanted me to spill, but I wasn't ready to. I was having a nice, calm day with her, and I had done my best to stay away from the subject of Luke because I honestly didn't really want to talk about it right now. Maybe after lunch. Maybe when we were finished at the mall. Samantha didn't press and I truly appreciated her patience. She knew something was bothering me, but she was going to give me the time to bring it up at my own pace.
By the time we left the mall early that afternoon, Samantha carried four plastic bags out with her, while I remained empty-handed. I guess I just hadn't been in the mood to buy anything. Samantha had given me the eye, but merely shrugged as we made our way to her car. The parking lot was crowded, the sun warm, the sunlight glinting off the roofs of hundreds of cars.
Samantha placed her purchases in the backseat and then we both sat down. She inserted the key into the ignition and then glanced at me. "Okay, Molly, where are we going now?"
I glanced at her in surprise. "I don't know. Where do you want to go?"
"Somewhere you'll feel comfortable enough to talk about what's bothering you," she said. "You want to go to the park on Fifth?"
I thought about it for a moment and then shook my head. The park bench I always shared with Samantha had now been shared by Luke, as well. It wasn't our private spot anymore. After thinking about it for a moment, I came up with an idea. "Let's go to the Arboretum."
She nodded. "Good idea!"
Samantha pulled out of the mall parking lot and headed for the JC Raulston Arboretum. She knew where it was because she had graduated from North Carolina State University. The Arboretum on campus was well-known, ranked one of the fifty best public gardens in the entire United States. Not only was it beautiful, but it was an excellent teaching venue and often hosted educational gatherings, lectures, and symposia year-round.
What better place to lift my mood, I thought as I anticipated walking through the butterfly garden, or along the rooftop terrace. Then again, we could stroll through the Nottingham Rose Garden or the La
th House, perfect for a hot summer day. The Lath House contained over seven hundred popular southern plants that thrived in cooler, shaded areas.
By the time we arrived, I was actually looking forward to the relaxing environment. It was the perfect place to confide my thoughts and feelings to my best friend. We got out and strolled around without any specific destination in mind, enjoying the sounds and aromas that floated through the air. I admired the colors, the beauty, and the peaceful atmosphere of this place. I always had.
"Okay, spill it," Samantha said suddenly. "I know something's going on with you and Luke, considering you don't typically have a day off in the middle of the week."
I stopped and gazed around. The Arboretum wasn't very busy. I gestured toward a wooden bench that stood in the midst of a colorful bed of wildflowers and shrubbery. "Shall we sit?" Samantha eyed me for several moments, and then, lightly grasping my arm, led me over to the bench.
"Before you even start, I want to reiterate what I said earlier. You can talk to me about anything, Molly. You know that, don't you?"
I nodded.
"You and I may not always agree, but you know I would never tell you anything that I didn't believe. I know that sometimes what I have to say doesn't necessarily mesh with what you're thinking, but it is honest. I give you the same advice that I would want from you – meaning honesty. Okay?"
Again I nodded and then rolled my eyes. While Samantha sat patiently, her attention focused on me, I told her the whole story. When I got to the part about my father giving Luke an ultimatum, I saw Samantha's expression change. Knowing her so well, I knew that she was annoyed, probably just as much as I had been to find out that my father had been meddling. When I finally finished telling the whole story, up to and including the last text message I had sent to Luke last night, Samantha stared off into the distance without saying a word. I knew she was processing everything I had told her. I waited patiently for her to respond.
"How do you think your father found out?"
"I have no idea," I said.
"That is so not cool," she muttered. "Your father actually gave Luke an ultimatum? He actually told Luke that he had to choose between business with him or you?"
I heard the disbelief in Samantha's voice and nodded. We had known each other long enough that she was very familiar with both my mother and my father. She scowled.
"I don't know, Molly," she said, shaking her head. "I know how I'd feel if my dad did that to me. I'd be royally pissed off."
"I am, Samantha," I said. "I find it intrusive, obnoxious, and to be honest, uncalled for." I shifted my position so that I faced her on the bench. "It makes me wonder if my dad has always been looking over my shoulder so carefully. It also makes me wonder how much control he has over my environment. You know what I mean?"
"Well, I know he told you that he could pull some strings to get you a position at one of the local schools-"
"It's more than that," I said. "Remember that job at the bank?" Samantha nodded. "He got involved in that one, too." The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. "Now he's sticking his nose into not only another job, but intimating that he has control over my relationships?"
Samantha shook her head. "I'm still confused about how he found out about that."
"My relationships!" I said, my voice emphatic with frustration. "I get the fact that I might make some mistakes, and your points regarding Luke are out there, and I appreciate your honesty. But this…this thing with my dad is so far beyond acceptable! What gives him the right to tell me who I should date and who I shouldn't?"
"It is rather extreme," Samantha agreed. "Have you talked to him about it?"
I shook my head. "I was going to call him last night, but I decided I was being too emotional. You know my dad. He's logical and rational, and the minute emotions come into a conversation, he practically shuts down."
"This is so not right," Samantha said. "It's one thing for you not to have known that Luke was involved in any business with him because you rarely get involved in your father’s business ventures, anyway. But the fact that your father knows not only that you're working as a maid, but that you have a…well, a sexual relationship with Luke means that…"
I nodded. "It means that my father's been spying on me. It means that someone has been following me around, reporting back to my father. Oh my God, do you think he has photos?"
Samantha stared at me, also shocked by the idea. "Oh boy, this isn’t good."
We both sat in silence for several minutes, staring idly at a butterfly flitting around a bed of peonies clustered in the floral border not far from the bench. While my thoughts were consumed with my troubles, I also, on a deep level, appreciated the beauty, peace, and tranquility that this place held. I tried to let go some of my anger and discouragement, but remained unsuccessful.
"You know what gets me even more than my dad's intrusiveness?" I looked at Samantha and she shook her head. "The fact that Luke chose him over me-"
"Now wait, Molly," Samantha said, placing a hand on her knee. "He didn't actually say that, did he?"
"Not in so many words," I admitted. "But his indecision surprised me."
"But why should it, honey?" she asked. "After all, Luke's new here in Raleigh. He's new to money. He may have something really good going with your dad, something that amounts to hundreds of thousands of dollars, if not millions." She shook her head. "Perhaps we shouldn't judge him so quickly."
I stared at Samantha. She seemed to be much more understanding about my relationship with Luke this time around. "But he didn't even-"
"Molly, do you know what you're going to do, right this minute?"
I stared at my friend and then finally sighed and shook my head.
"While I don't suppose that Luke knows either."
Samantha was right. Maybe I was rushing to judgment.
"It's a tough situation," Samantha said. "But I'll tell you one thing right now, Molly. If you like Luke and you want to have a relationship with him, don't you think you should at least listen to what he has to say?"
I stared at my friend in stunned surprise.
"Oh, I know what you're thinking. The other day I was telling you to get out and get out fast." She shrugged. "At the time, I felt my opinion was sound. But it's clear to me that you have feelings for Luke and he has feelings for you. How deep those feelings go has yet to be determined. Still, you won't know right away."
I guessed she was right.
"Relationships take time, Molly, you know that. I also know this is the first time you've ever really found yourself in such a position. No, it wasn't right for Luke to cross the boundary between employer and employee, but that's ancient history. It's water under the bridge, and you can't change it. But it's also clear that you have feelings for him, and I know that you have a good head on your shoulders."
While I certainly appreciated what my friend was telling me, I was wondering about her change of opinion regarding Luke. "So it wasn't exactly Luke you were objecting to – it was the situation?"
"Of course!" Samantha assured. "I Googled Luke Benning, Molly, and I agree with you. He's hot! Who wouldn't fall head over heels for someone like him?"
"I was rather surprised by my initial reaction to him," I admitted. "I've never felt that chemistry, and that pull, that…"
"Desire to have hot, passionate sex?"
I laughed. "Yes, I never have felt that until I met Luke." I shifted my position again, leaning back and placing both of my feet on the bench, hugging my knees close to me. "Sure, at first it was his hotness, and then I began to feel a little bit sorry for him because he seemed like such a fish out of water. I wanted to help him adapt to his new position in life, but how could I? I'm just a maid!"
"He knows you're much more than that now, doesn't he?"
I nodded. "I never lied to him about who I was," I defended myself. "It's not like I gave him a fake name or anything."
Samantha also nodded. "As far as Luke is concerned, you lied ou
t of omission."
I nodded. "I suppose so. When I found out that his business meeting was with my dad, you know what my first thought was?" I didn't even wait for Samantha to reply. "My first thought was why didn't I know about it?" I shook my head with a hollow laugh. "As if I had any right to know."
"You guys are a piece of work, you know that?" Samantha told me. "You're a privileged rich debutante trying to find out what it's like to live without privilege, and Luke's a guy who grew up in a humble environment who now has more money than he probably knows what to do it."
I said nothing. What a conundrum!
"Here's my opinion, Molly, and you take it any way you want or do what you want with it. As far as I'm concerned, your father has totally overstepped his bounds, not as a caring father, but as one who thinks he can control everything you do or anyone you see. In Luke's favor, the fact that he didn't sever all ties to you immediately also says a lot."
I thought a moment about what Samantha said and realized she was right. Luke had been taken as much by surprise as I had. It was a difficult situation, one that could have very serious ramifications not only personally, but financially – for both of us.
"I think you should go talk to Luke. Clear the air. Be completely open and honest about your feelings. However, also be prepared for the fact that because of his new position, he may very well opt to end the relationship. You have to be prepared for that, okay, Molly?"
I nodded. After all, Samantha was right. Luke could have ended their relationship with me in his study. He could've fired me, cut me a check for the work I had done, and then told me to get the hell out of his life forever. He hadn't. To be honest, I felt rather pleased. I never would've thought he had it in him. I guess we had both taken by surprise and needed to process the situation. The least I could do was give Luke the benefit of the doubt.
