Needed: One Dad

by Jeanne Allan

  He’d lied for her.

  She wondered if his grandmother knew. Addy’s throat tightened, rejecting the eggs. “Hannah?” she crooked.

  “Emilie was tired and didn’t want to stay at her friend’s house. Grandmother thought it best if she stayed at home with Squirt.” Sam looked squarely at Burgess. “My grandmother has lived in Colorado a long time and knows everyone worth knowing. She’s wealthy, and we have two doctors in the family. I’m telling you so you’ll know there’s money and power behind Adeline. Pick a fight with her, and you’ll have to take us all on, and believe me, Burgess, the Dawsons fight to win. No court in the land would take Emilie away from my wife, but if you don’t quit hassling Adeline, we’ll make you pay.”

  Addy grabbed the charm hanging from her neck. A lifesaver in this turbulent sea of insanity. Sam Dawson, a man of logic and science, who constantly preached calm and reason, had not only lied, now he was issuing threats. Next he’d be brawling in the middle of the hotel coffee shop. Addy couldn’t allow this to continue. Shaking her head, she smiled mistily at Sam. “Thank you, but you mustn’t...” She had to stop to wipe her leaking eyes with her napkin. “It’s all a lie, Mr. Burgess. Sam and I aren’t married. He’s a friend.” She pressed her fist against her mouth for a minute as she fought for control. “A very good friend, but not my husband. And we don’t have a lawyer. I can’t afford a lawyer.

  “The truth is, Mr. Burgess, I live barely a step above needing foodstamps. I know you can give Emilie expensive toys and clothes, any material thing she wants, but what I can’t give her in money, I give her in love.” She pressed the silver clothespin painfully against her skin.

  “I came to tell you I was married and lived back east. While you were searching for us there, I intended to pack up Emilie and run, changing our names and going into hiding.”

  Addy clutched the hand Sam held out to her, and looked across the table. “But I can’t let Sam lie for me.” She raised her chin. “I can’t let you have Emilie, either. I don’t know how I’ll do it, but I’ll fight you with every breath left in my body. I can’t, I won’t let you destroy Emilie the way you destroyed my sister.”

  “But I never met your sister.”

  Dead silence greeted Burgess’s announcement. In the background a piece of silverware fell to the floor with a loud clang. Shock paralyzed every muscle in Addy’s body.

  Sam finally stirred. “Who the hell are you if you’re not Emilie’s father?”

  “I think, I hope, I’m her grandfather.”

  Addy squeezed Sam’s hand with both of hers. Not Emilie’s father.

  Sam leaned forward, his eyes, dangerously dark, pinned on the elderly man. “Why the threatening letters to Addy?”

  “I never intended them to be threatening. I wanted to pique the interest of the child’s parents.”

  “Why the secret about who you are?” Sam demanded to know.

  Burgess gave Addy an apologetic smile. “I should have told you in the beginning, but...I don’t know what you know of your sister’s life in California.” He broke off, distress and a reluctance to continue written all over his face.

  “I know she fell in with bad company and committed suicide,” Addy said quietly. “I know your son—I assume your son?” At Burgess’s nod, she continued. “I know he’s married.”

  Burgess shook his head. “He got drunk and wrapped his car around a tree trunk a few months ago. The police assured me he died instantly.”

  After a moment Addy reached across the table and rested her hand on his. “I’m sorry. I know how difficult it is to accept sudden death. Not to have a chance to say goodbye.”

  “We hadn’t talked for a long time. I worked hard over the years and my business prospered, but my family suffered. Foolishly, I thought if I made more money, I could make things right. I was wrong. My wife was an alcoholic. One night when I didn’t come home for dinner as I’d promised, she fell down the stairs and broke her neck. Willie was twenty years old. He never forgave me.” Burgess took a swallow of coffee.

  “Willie’s wife told me about your sister after Willie died. Marilyn was bitter. Willie didn’t leave her with much. I paid her a large sum of money for Willie’s effects. I thought, now it’s too late, I might get to know him. Pathetic, isn’t it?” Burgess gave a ironic laugh when no one disagreed with him.

  “I found some letters from your sister and discovered there had been a child, so I hired a private detective. I married late in life, and I’m seventy years old. I failed my wife and my son. I hoped I’d get another chance. With Emilie. Not to take her away from you, Ms. Johnson. To get to know her. If you don’t want her to claim me as her grandfather, I’d understand, but I beg you to let me at least meet her.”

  “I still don’t understand why you didn’t tell Addy who you are,” Sam said.

  Burgess gave Addy a shame-faced smile. “Willie gave Lorraine large sums of money for the child. From what my detective found out, Loraine spent it all on herself. I couldn’t be sure Ms. Johnson wasn’t the same. I want to contribute financially to Emilie’s upbringing, but I didn’t want to be held for ransom, especially if Emilie wasn’t my son’s child.”

  Addy stiffened. “I didn’t agree to meet you to inveigle money from you. Just because I said we were hard up doesn’t mean I want your money, your charity or your pity.”

  “It’s not charity to set up a trust fund for my only granddaughter. Teenagers are expensive. There are things like braces and sports and music or dancing lessons. College costs have sky-rocketed.”

  “Don’t worry about Emilie,” Sam said evenly, “her family will take care of her. You heard Addy. She doesn’t like charity.”

  Addy wasn’t sure if Sam meant his remark as an insult, so she ignored it. Her hand still rested on William Burgess’s hand. She gave him a pat and leaned back in her chair. “I think, Mr. Burgess—” she smiled hesitantly “—Bill, the best thing is for you to come to Colorado Springs and meet Emilie. As for telling Emilie who you are and any future trust funds, why don’t we sort of let nature take its course?”

  “I thought you said you were coming from Vail.”

  Addy colored. “Another lie to put you off our track. We live in a small town west of Colorado Springs, up Ute Pass.”

  “I understand. I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s just...” He took out a white handkerchief and blew his nose, “when I heard about your sister, I thought she was a cheap little home-wrecker. After meeting you... I suppose my son... He was spoiled. I gave him money instead of time, and my wife, well, she wanted him on her side. If you hated all Burgesses, I wouldn’t blame you. You’re a kind, generous, good person, Ms. Johnson.”

  Addy shook her head. “No, I’m a very selfish person, a coward and much too proud. Sam offered me money to hire someone to find out who was behind the letters, but I was too proud to take his help. I told myself what I was doing was best for Emilie, but the truth is, what I cared about is losing her. Instead of fighting for her, I was prepared to run away, to lie. Even worse, to teach her to lie. I’m not a good person, and I don’t deserve to have a friend like Sam.” She sent a wobbly smile in his direction. “I know you came for Emilie’s sake, Sam, and I appreciate it. Thank you.”

  “Adeline!” Sam said explosively. He stopped and grabbed his cup of coffee and drank deeply.

  She eyed him in bewilderment. “What?”

  “Shut up and eat your damned breakfast.”

  They rode in silence for almost an hour. The towering landmark rock above the town of Castle Rock loomed over them before Addy worked up enough courage to ask the question which had gnawed at her since they left the hotel. “How did you know what I was doing this morning and where I was going?”

  Sam stared straight ahead, his jaw carved from stone. “Snooped. When you rushed out so early dressed like a PTA reject, I thought you were running away. Grandmother knew where Emilie’d spent the night, so I tore over there, to find you’d made arrangements for them to keep Emilie until m
idday. I knew you’d never leave without Emilie.”

  “But you took Emilie home to Hannah just in case,” Addy said slowly.

  “When I started to leave her friend’s house, Emilie fussed and fretted so I took her with me, and Grandmother thought it best if they stayed behind while I came to Denver.”

  “How did you know where I’d gone?”

  “The letters. I knew where you kept them.”

  “You went through my drawers?” she asked, outraged.

  “Yes, Adeline, I went through your drawers. I was desperate. Rereading the last letter convinced me you’d arranged to meet the man. He’d listed two phone numbers on the letter, his home phone and his work phone. I called both and eventually reached his secretary. I convinced her it was crucial I locate him, and she told me where he was staying.” He gave Addy a dry look. “You’re not the only one who knows how to lie.”

  “At least I don’t brag about it.”

  Sam snorted. “I didn’t know if you were meeting him there, but I had no other lead. It was just luck you broke down on the road and I found you so I could get to the hotel the same time you did.”

  “I’d hardly call it luck to have a blowout on the interstate.”

  “I don’t think we want to discuss the missing brain cells which prompted you to drive that broken-down heap to Denver,” Sam said coldly. He went on. “I parked in front of the hotel and when you didn’t come out, I figured you were meeting him there. I checked the coffee shop first. You know the rest.”

  “I don’t know,” Addy said carefully, fiddling with the charm hanging from her neck, “why you came to Denver. I don’t know why you told Bill you and I are married. I don’t know what I’m going to do about my car. I don’t know how I’m going to explain to Emilie about her grandfather.”

  “What an awful lot of stuff you don’t know,” Sam said.

  The amusement in his voice failed to endear him to her. He was supposed to fall on his knees, figuratively speaking of course since he was driving, and tell her he loved her. He’d said he was good at lying. Couldn’t he tell the one lie she longed to hear?

  CHAPTER TEN

  “WE SHOULD have brought Bill back with us,” Addy said into the silence.

  Sam shook his head. “He’d have pestered you about Emilie all the way back. Besides, he’s better off renting a car so he’ll have his own transportation once he gets here.”

  “I don’t think Hannah would have minded if he stayed at the house.”

  “I would have,” Sam said firmly. “He’ll be fine at the hotel. He may be Emilie’s grandfather, but he doesn’t need to be underfoot. All you know about him is what he told us. Let’s take this slow. It won’t hurt him to serve a kind of probation before you welcome him into the family with open arms. Just because he told you a heart-rending story about failing his family and wanting a second chance, doesn’t make it true. Let Emilie set the pace.”

  “Emilie,” Addy scoffed. “She’d welcome Dracula with open arms. She likes everyone.”

  “She didn’t like Christain” Sam shot Addy a quick glance.

  “I don’t care to discuss John with you.” Addy hated the defensive tone in her voice. “You may have pretended to be my husband this morning, but my private life is my own business.”

  “Your private life is my business when you’re engaged to me,” Sam snapped. “How do you think I felt when I walked in and saw Christain pawing you?”

  “Relieved, I would imagine.”

  “Relieved!” Sam said explosively. “I couldn’t decide whose neck I wanted to wring first. His or yours.”

  “Oh, please. You only asked me to marry you because you felt sorry for me, and you stated outright that nothing I did could make you jealous, not that I was interested in making you jealous. How dog-in-the-mangerish of you to get annoyed when you thought John might be interested in me. You know you’re happy to get rid of me.”

  “Happy,” Sam repeated in a contemplative voice. “First I was relieved, now I’m happy.” He headed the car across the opposite lane of Highway 24 and onto the side road to town. “Is Christain interested in you?”

  “None of your business.”

  “Are you interested in him?”

  Addy stuck her nose in the air.

  “Don’t you want to know what Emilie said about him?”

  Not in a million years.

  “I asked her, if I’m a chocolate cupcake, and Addy’s a kangaroo, what is Christain? She thought about six seconds before she asked what you call the stuff you use a knife on to get it out of Grandmother’s old freezer when you melt it. Her description.” When Addy didn’t respond, Sam said, “Sounds like she meant frost.” A minute later he casually added, “I guess that freezes Christain out of the picture.” He smirked at his own joke. “We both know you aren’t about to embark on any relationship Emilie disapproves of.”

  “The only man I know whom Emilie approves of is you,” Addy said without thinking.

  “Emilie is a very bright little girl.”

  Since wholesale mayhem wasn’t an option for civilized people, Addy refrained from commenting on either Sam’s remark or the smug expression on his face.

  Sam drove past two unfamiliar cars parked in front of Hannah’s house and pulled the car into the driveway. Instead of opening his door, he stopped Addy as she reached for her door handle. He stared intently across the yard. “I’ll be damned,” he said softly “Stay here.” He stepped from the car.

  Something about his tone of voice cemented Addy in her seat. Rolling down her window, she looked in the direction Sam headed, but saw nothing except the neighbor’s small poodle playing with a short stick. Squatting down, Sam called the dog. Stick in mouth, the dog galloped to Sam’s side. A short, friendly tussle ensued, Sam laughing and the dog barking. Then Sam stood up and walked toward the car, the stick in his hand. The dog bounced and yelped at his side until Sam picked up another stick and hurled it toward the dog’s yard. The dog raced after the stick.

  Sam gave Addy a crooked smile. “A little the worse for wear, but at least recognizable.”

  Addy took a second look. She hadn’t recognized it. “My great-grandmother’s clothespin.”

  Sam drew back when she reached for it. “It’s filthy. I think we better give it a little session in the oven to toast any microorganisms which have taken up residence.”

  “I can’t believe you found it.”

  “Maybe it means this is my lucky day.” He opened the car door. “My guess is Emilie is sound asleep, but I know you’ll want to go straight up and check on her.”

  Sam was right. Emilie slept soundly, a ragged Sam the Bear hugged close to her small, warm body Addy shut the bedroom door and walked across the sitting room to the front window, brushing aside the lace curtain. The two cars remained in front of the house. One of the neighbors must have company. Parking space on the hillside was scarce, and everyone understood cars straggled along the street. It was a good neighborhood with good people.

  She’d miss them. The sun slipped behind a cloud. Shadows turned gray the pale pink wild roses climbing the wall and stole the color from the delicate-looking poppies along the front walk. A small dark shape flashed shrilly past the window and dove to attack. A rufous hummingbird chasing away a broad-tailed hummingbird. Two black and white magpies squabbled rancorously in the large blue spruce.

  Weariness sapped the strength from Addy’s bones. What now? If Bill Burgess had told the truth, she no longer had to worry about Emilie being torn from her. If only she’d answered his first letter instead of letting fear rule her decisions. If only she’d swallowed her pride and borrowed money to hire a lawyer. If only she hadn’t fallen in love with Sam and acted the complete fool. If only... Her “if only’s” could fill a book.

  She turned her back to the window. The sun broke from under the clouds and glared harshly into the sitting room picking out the tarnish on silver frames and the bedraggled edges of the silk flowers on an old hat. The strong light t
reated unkindly her mother’s amateurish paintings and spotlighted the worn areas on the furniture. The room no longer looked warm and inviting. It looked gaudy and shabby and cheap. Draped and decorated like a vaudeville theater set, the room didn’t belong in an old Victorian house which was rich with understated elegance and the patina of a long and happy family life.

  Addy didn’t belong here, either. Hannah wouldn’t tell her she had to move, but Addy wasn’t so blind she couldn’t see how awkward it would be to stay. Hannah had seen her not once, not twice, but three times involved in compromising situations. As much as Addy wished it were otherwise, she could blame no one but herself for totally messing up.

  Sam rapped twice at the closed sitting room door and breezed into the room carrying a napkin-covered plate. “Knock, knock. Come in, Sam. Thank you.” He held the plate out to Addy. “A late lunch. It’s almost three o’clock, and you barely touched your breakfast. Eat. And take your hair out of that stupid thing.”

  Not bothering to explain again the protocol about knocking on doors, Addy set the plate on the table. “Thank you.” If she tried to eat, her churning stomach would revolt.

  Sam strolled over to the sofa and stretched out, his arms folded behind his head. “You shouldn’t have to worry anymore about losing custody of Emilie.”

  “I hope not.” She wished he’d leave.

  “And I guess you don’t think it’s necessary anymore to marry for Emilie’s sake.”

  “No.”

  “So if you were to get married, say later this afternoon, you wouldn’t be doing it for Emilie, you’d be doing it because you wanted to.”

  “I’m not getting married this afternoon.”

  “Hypothetical question.”

  “Hypothetically,” Addy said carefully, “if I were getting married, I’d do it because I wanted to.”