Halo. Flood
Page 34
Texture. Wet. Sound. Other. Food? Not food. Hunger.
Sound.
Hunger.
Searching. Searching. Pain. Sound. Searching. Hunger. Sound. Searching.
Jump.
Food.
FEAST.
Burrow. FEAST. Become. Become. Become.
. . . make-it-stop-jesus-GOD-get-it-off-of-out-of-me
Become. Spine. Pierce. Change. FEAST. Grow. Food. Many food. Become.
Birthday-love-oh-god-it-hurts-first-time-I-met-her-where’s-Johnson?-oh-god-it-hurts-it-hurts-it
Become. Break. FEAST. Tear. Knit. Burrow. Become.
Boot-camp-what’s-your-name?-Anna-birthday-it’s-tearing-me-apart-where’s-Johnson?-kill-me-kill-me-please-god
Become. Seize. Sight. Smell. Pain. Decay. Move. Anna. Stand. Food. Create. Become.
So-hungry-can’t-look-son’s-birthday-tomorrow-pain-pain-me-I’m-not-me-slipping-son-pistol-end-it-son-son
Become. Weapon. Steel. Hand. Others becoming. Son. Paul. Moving. Shoot. Hunger. Become.
Hungry-others-together-no-don’t-touch-him-me-Paul-run-run-run-together-last-target-down-success-together
Become. Others becoming. Others here. Many. Covenant. Autumn. Food. Many. Freedom. Autumn. SHIP. Become.
Hungry-Pillar-of-Autumn-Paul-no-don’t-hungry-Anna-food-survivors-nearby-engineering-is-on-level-four-hungry
Become. SHIP. Freedom. Food. Paul. Anna. Food. Become.
Hungry-oh-god-Paul-I’m-sorry-no-end-food-freedom-Reach-hungry
Become. Freedom. Food. Together. Become.
Food-Paul-become
Become.
Forgive-me
Become.
Become.
Become.
EXCERPTS FROM THE JOURNAL OF ZUKA ‘ZAMAMEE WHILE ABOARD THE TRUTH AND RECONCILIATION
REVELATION
SALVATION
I know why you have spared my life. You have watched as my dedication to walk the Path wavered, my faith weakened. But ever did I strive to make of myself the most terrible weapon, a shining blade to be used to destroy all those who would stand in the way of the Covenant. In this, I have never wavered. It is not every day a message comes so clearly, but I see now what it is you have been preparing me for. All of my skills have brought me here to this crux. You are testing me. You have always been testing me. And I accept. My journey is for the first time so very clear. I have seen what it is I have been brought here for.
Never before have I witnessed such evil in the form of this Demon. I am disgusted at its unnatural strength. How it savages your most faithful. And I know you have put this heathen, this monster in my way for a reason. Beyond this Demon lies my key to the Great Journey. I will find him. I shall be your will.
ADVERSITY
PERSEVERANCE
Your challenges mount, but I shall persevere. I know you will not lay the Path easily, especially to one you turned his back on you before. These barriers in my journey, obstacles of faith, are riddled with clarity. This vile Demon is your gift to me. It is his destruction you nurture my spirit with, inching me along. You are clever, indeed, and my resolve is strengthened. No human will stop me. No greed from the Prophets will keep my glory from you. It is I who you have chosen. And it is I who will do your duty.
TEMPTATION
INSPIRATION
You have given me supreme command, eliminated many but I know now that these lesser humans are yet another test. I saw the Demon again. I may have exploited your faithful but I know it is all your will. I am imbued with your glory, and it all falls into my hands. I know what I must do with this armored animal, and by your will it shall be done.
DOUBT
CONCESSION
His continued existence haunts me. Keeps my dreams cluttered with death. Massacre at his hands. This Demon is a force against your glory. No soldier has even slowed his stride. Are you sure it’s my destiny to meet him? I who have shown no true service to your will? Who repeatedly defied the command of your “Prophets”? Who used your servant Unggoy as a means to laughter? If it be in your grace that this blessing has come, let you know now that I am your vessel, a sword to your command. The glory of this artifact will be sung with my name.
JUDGMENT
BLESSING
Every great crusader needs a messenger. Your gifts have been plenty, wrapped in challenge. I am shamed to admit that doubt returned to my heart when you brought me this cowardly Yayap. I feared that I had lost your favor, that you had tied me to a weakling as judgment for the weakness in my faith. But now I know just why you sent me this clever Unngoy. I have passed your penultimate test. The grace of the true Prophets has blessed me, and now I shall claim what you have set forth as my glory.
MARTYRDOM
REJOICE
Let it be known that any deception we masquerade with is all in the name of your glory. It’s all a ruse to do your bidding and seal our glory. The Demon still invades my sleep, toying with our holy ring . . . toying with our fate. I know the power of the name is sacred, but it is all I have left to ensure what I know you have always intended for me.
GRACE
ASCENSION
It all comes down to this. My resolve strengthened with your blessings against my own fears. Filled with purpose but cursed in this existence. I am but a vessel for your will. The Path is so clear now; I know what salvation tastes like. Now I must ascend as you blessed me so . . . Let me go . . .
PRIVATE INDIVIDUAL STATUS REPORT: ARRAY FACILITY 1 (SIMUL_ARRAY_STATUS_REPORT)
MONITOR 343 GUILTY SPARK
LOG: PSYCH/CHECKSUM/DATA/INTEGRITY/NOT_VALIDATED AT NOMINAL
EMERGENCY BULK DATA OFFLOAD REQUEST CURRENT_MIND_STATE_CACHE
COMMUNICATING
TRANSFERRING
COMPLETING
~REQUEST_ACCEPTED_DATA_COLLECTED/SAFE_TRANSFER_CONFIRMED/
TRANSMITTED_ERRORS_REPORTED_REPAIRED_FOR_NEXT_TWO_WAY_
TRANSFER_343_GUILTY_SPARK_RECODIFICATION.
BEGIN/
I HAVE BEEN SOMEWHAT REMISS IN MY REPORTING DUTIES, I HAVE TO ADMIT. RECENT EVENTS HAVE ENCOURAGED ME TO MAKE UP FOR MY TARDINESS, SO THIS PRIVATE REPORT MAY MEANDER A LITTLE.
THE INTRUDERS ARE NOW CONSIDERED A SIGNIFICANT RISK. I HAVE LIMITED CAPACITY, OR RATHER, AUTHORITY TO DEFEND THE STRUCTURE FROM THIS KIND OF PRIMITIVE ASSAULT AND SOME OF MY TERRESTRIAL DEFENSES HAVE ALREADY BEEN COMPROMISED EITHER THROUGH INTERFERENCE OR DILAPIDATION. I SHOULD ALSO CONFESS THAT SOME OF THE LATTER IS MY RESPONSIBILITY. I AM STARTING TO SEE THAT I HAVE BEEN LAX IN SOME OTHER MAINTENANCE DUTIES, TOO.
THE BULK OF THE INTRUSION IS FROM A TIER 2 HEGEMONIZING RELIGIO/POLITICAL SWARM. THEY HAVE ENACTED SIGNIFICANT DAMAGE TO THE STORAGE AND RESEARCH FACILITY AT INSTALLATION ALPHA. AS I PREVIOUSLY NOTED, THIS HAS CAUSED A BREACH IN CONTAINMENT. THE PARASITE IS NOW LOOSE ON THE STRUCTURE—AND GROWING IN STRENGTH AND INTELLIGENCE AS IT DECIMATES THE TIER 2 AND 3 SPECIES.
NOTE THAT WHERE CALCIUM DENSITY PERMITS, THE PARASITE IS FOLLOWING IN ITS PRE–ARRAY EVENT PATTERN, AN OUTWARD SPIRAL AT A RATIO OF APPROXIMATELY 1.68.
THE SECONDARY INTRUSION ELEMENT IS MORE PROBLEMATIC. I HAVE TRIED TO CORRAL AND DIVIDE THE TWO FACTIONS BUT WITH LIMITED SUCCESS. THEY APPEAR TO BE RIVALS AND ARE ENGAGED IN CONFLICT, EVEN AS THE PARASITE PREDATES UPON THEM. I AM UNSURE AS TO MY RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES AS THEY RELATE TO THE SECONDARY INTRUSION GIVEN POTENTIAL PRIOR RELATIONS OR DIPLOMATIC SITUATIONS.
ONE PARTY IS, TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY TO DISCERN, COMPRISED OF RECLAIMERS.
DNA SAMPLING CONFIRMS IT, BUT FRANKLY I RECOGNIZED THEM AT FIRST SIGHT. ONE OF THEM IS EVEN WEARING A PRIMITIVE COMBAT SKIN. HE IS ALSO ACCOMPANIED BY A VERY LIMITED BUT INQUISITIVE ANCILLA. YOU SEE THE SYMMETRY OF COURSE. AT FIRST I SUSPECTED THIS WAS A TEST—AN ILLUSION INSERTED INTO MY RECODIFICATION TO GAUGE MY LEVEL OF FUNCTIONALITY. I COULD SEE WHY THAT SHOULD BE A CONCERN . . .
CROSS-REFERENCE OF MY INTERNAL DATA WITH EXTERNAL SOURCES CONFIRMS IT, HOWEVER—THE SPECIES ARE ALL QUITE REAL AND ALL IN VARYING DEGREES OF POST-ARRAY R
ECOVERY STATES—SIGNIFYING SUCCESS OF THE LIBRARY PROJECT TO SOME DEGREE. WITHOUT FURTHER CONTEXT I REALLY CAN’T JUDGE. IN BETTER CIRCUMSTANCES I WOULD BE PLEASED. IN THE CURRENT STATE OF AFFAIRS, THIS SIMPLY COMPOUNDS MY CONFUSION AND CONCERN.
I SHOULD BE HAPPY. AND YET THESE ARE FAR FROM THE IDEAL RESEARCH OR INTERACTION CONDITIONS I WOULD PREFER. I HAVE DECIDED THAT THE SECURITY OF THE ARRAY AND THE CONTAINMENT PROTOCOLS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THIS SITUATION OTHERWISE AND AS SUCH THE PROTOCOLS WILL BE TREATED AS MY ONLY GOALS FOR NOW. I WILL HAVE TO MAKE FURTHER CONTACT WITH ONE OF THE RECLAIMERS FOR ASSISTANCE, BUT NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO PUSH FOR NON-PERTINENT INFORMATION. BUT STILL . . .
ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND YEARS IS A LONG TIME TO BE ALONE. THOSE OF US WHO CHOSE THIS PATH ALL UNDERSTOOD IT WOULD BE THIS LONELY, BUT NOT THIS LONG. I ASSUME THAT SOME OF THE MORE ERRATIC OR, RATHER, INACCURATE DECISIONS I HAVE MADE ARE CONNECTED TO MY STATE OF MIND—SOMETHING I NOW KNOW IS NEITHER FROZEN NOR IMPERMEABLE.
I WAS YOUNG WHEN I CHOSE THIS PATH AND NOW I AM SUDDENLY VERY, VERY OLD. THERE IS NO ONE LEFT TO ADVISE ME.
SO I MUST DECIDE WHAT’S RIGHT FOR MYSELF. I WILL PROTECT OUR LEGACY TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY AND TO THE DEATH, IF NEED BE, AS I PROMISED WHEN I FIRST TOOK UP THIS MANTLE.
/END
Terminal L
Report 12
Batch 416
Span 1445
* * *
Military activity beyond the sphere is becoming frantic. The relative calm here impedes my sense of urgency. I find myself reading their reports just to provoke my own emotional response.
My report, however, isn’t quite so dramatic.
As predicted, the oceanic life is taking longer to catalog than the terrestrial and mammalian populations. What’s hampering this collection isn’t pressure or friction or depth but rather simplifying categorization. It is rare that we find so many disparate flavors of intelligence in a single habitat, but to find mammalian [standard] intelligence along with Schyzophoa and Cephalopoda in oceans further enhances the theory that this planet has seen interference or experiment in its past. This kind of distributed intellectual symmetry tends to hint at artifice.
What’s making things more difficult is the rather distasteful process of testing living samples against simulated attack. I find this task immoral, even as I embrace its necessity. I wish that the entire test process could be undertaken synthetically or virtually. But safety precautions prevail. Eventually we will have a simpler baseline measure, and more depressingly, eventually we may have to make an artificial rather than scientific cutoff line.
The primitive simians were simple to categorize by comparison. But of course the more sophisticated ones are proving as enigmatic and evasive as ever.
Typically I prefer outreach and contact, but some regrettable abductions have been necessary.
The differing subspecies and races within the local population of prospects is a situation causing headaches of its own. They may be genetically very close, but their cultures and attitudes are dramatically different. I can attribute some, but not all, of that to their different physical makeup, although surprisingly the C-types, while physically massive and much more powerful than the B-types, are less aggressive and warlike. In fact, they’re agrarian by nature and peaceful in intent and outlook. This may, in the long term, hamper their progress here.
The A-types show the most potential for moral intelligence—but it’s possible their lack of physical stature might impede them in direct competition with the other two, where tool use and culture do not give them the upper hand. Still, I have high hopes for them. And I enjoy their company even if they don’t fully understand what I am, or why I’m here.
The B-types are curious and will watch our activity from a distance, but they’re not as gregarious, and seldom venture too close. The C-types are oddly oblivious to our activity, as if it were a mountain or a river that they simply expected to be here.
I miss my friends however, and one especially.
The facility here is impressive. I’m almost embarrassed to have this much access to technology. It’s frustrating however, to be this close to “civilization” and the people I love, yet hermetically sealed away from them by security protocols. In better days, this facility would simply be an open doorway, through which we could all travel and enjoy this world for what it is—the core of a deeper enigma.
But one I feel confident we’ll solve one day. I’m the eternal optimist, after all.
Signing off.
L.