Katie's Dream

by Leisha Kelly

  “Yes,” Julia agreed. “Come here, sweetie. I’ll take you.”

  She went. They both went. And I didn’t know what to do but go back to shining my shoes. I didn’t really know if what I’d said was bothering Julia or not. She was much too kind to say anything about it in front of Katie. But she was so good-hearted, especially with kids, that I guess I shouldn’t have worried.

  “You did the right thing,” she said when she came back in the kitchen. “She’s claimed us like family already. If they don’t find her a home, it wouldn’t be right just to put her with strangers in an orphanage or something.”

  “You’re an incredible woman. We’ve only known her a few days.”

  “She’s seen a lot in that time. Franky getting hurt. And the results of the first fight I’ve ever known you to have.” She reached and touched my cheek.

  “It wasn’t much of a fight.”

  “Pretty one-sided?”

  I looked down at the shoes in my hand. “Yeah.”

  She sat down beside me. “What possesses him to keep after you? Can’t he see you’re trying to be peaceable?”

  “I don’t know, Juli. I guess he’s always been kind of blind.”

  “Then we need to ask Pastor Jones to pray for him tomorrow, along with Franky.”

  I sat quiet, considering. “Do you really think I should go?”

  “Of course you should! You mean because you’re going to have quite a black eye for tomorrow? Is that why you’re wondering?”

  “Yeah, I guess. I’m not anxious to have everybody looking me over.”

  “They might think any number of things. But you have nothing to be ashamed of. You didn’t provoke him or even hit him back, did you? You can’t help it if someone flies off the handle, any more than I could.”

  Those words churned my blood. “If he lays a hand on you again, I’ll do more than hit him.”

  She put her hand on my shoulder. “You know what I think?”

  I looked over at her. “No.”

  “I think I’m blessed. You don’t seem mad at me. But you could be.”

  “Why would I be mad at you?”

  “I think you know why. Don’t you?” She put her arm around me and kissed me on my bruised cheek. It hurt. But I wasn’t about to tell her.

  “I can’t blame you, Juli. If I didn’t know better, I wouldn’t believe myself.”

  “But I know you. I’ve seen your heart. That should be good enough.”

  “It’s hard to argue with what looks like evidence. But at least we know now that the guy might be older and rougher than I am.”

  She smiled, relief apparent in her eyes even by the light of the oil lamp. “You’re right. That’s wonderful!”

  She hadn’t been sure. She’d been acting so sweet and wonderful to me even when she wasn’t sure. For a minute that bothered me. But then I thought, that’s love. “I love you, Juli. For being willing to hug me even if I was a lying bum.”

  “Oh, honey, I never meant anything like that.”

  “But if it were true, you’d stay with me, wouldn’t you?”

  She squeezed my hand. “It isn’t true. You told me it isn’t. But if it were, I couldn’t throw my whole life away. I need you. And I always will.”

  “I don’t know about that sometimes. Seems like you could handle anything whether you had a man here or not.”

  She looked a little upset suddenly. “Well, I guess I could if I had to! If you’re talking about just any man. But I’m not! I mean it when I say that I need you! And I believe you too. Katie’s father is some mean old ruffian that happens to share your name. That’s all. And you’re good enough to take in his little girl and love her already! I see that you do.”

  I took her hand. “I think you do too.”

  Julia was quiet for a moment. “More than that, she loves us.”

  SEVENTEEN

  Julia

  Sunday morning was just as hurried as ever. Maybe more so, because every time I about got something done, little Emma Grace started spreading pans across the kitchen or trying to undress herself one piece at a time. We ended up eating nothing more than yesterday’s leftover corn bread with milk over it. And Emmie threw hers on the floor.

  “My shoes is too tight,” Sarah complained.

  “They weren’t so bad last week,” I tried to coax her. She had to wear shoes for church, even if she never wore them at home in the summer. And we had no others for her.

  “Maybe she’d fit mine,” Katie said suddenly.

  “But you’ll need them.”

  “I can try hers. Mine is too big for me anyway.”

  “They are?”

  “Yeah. Mama got ’em from a big box, an’ they never did fit right, but she said I’d grow.”

  “A big box?” Sarah asked. “I thought new shoes come in little boxes.”

  “They’re not new. They came from a big box outside the Wyatt Hotel where folks throws away stuff. Only I don’t know why anybody’d throw away shoes. They must be real rich or not very smart.”

  “Well, girls, you can swap and try them if you want to. It can’t hurt.”

  Rorey looked on while Sarah and Katie eagerly tried on each other’s shoes. To my great surprise, they were both satisfied.

  “They fit real good, Mommy!” Sarah declared. “I gotta thank God for shoes now!”

  “Are you sure those are all right on you, Katie?” I asked, not wanting her to be obliging at her own expense.

  “They’re nice. Better than the others.”

  But just in case, I leaned down to feel the toes, and sure enough, they seemed to fit her fine, with even a little growing room. “Well, all right. If you’re both sure.”

  “We’re sure,” Sarah said for both of them. “I think that means we fit together perfect.”

  Rorey scowled. “Well, both pairs is kinda ugly.”

  “That’s okay,” Sarah answered back, not the least upset. “Until school starts, we don’t have to wear them except Sunday, anyway.”

  I put bows in the girls’ hair while Robert tied the tie that Emma had made for him, and Samuel pulled Emmie Grace out of the empty potato bin she’d managed to crawl into.

  “Look, Daddy! New shoes!” Sarah proclaimed proudly.

  “And see mine!” Katie added, training her eyes on him.

  I knew she was still looking for the acceptance she’d felt last night. And Samuel smiled at both of them.

  “I see. Who would have thought? Smart thinking, Katie.”

  She beamed like she’d been called a queen.

  “I wish I had new shoes,” Rorey complained.

  “At least yours will do for now,” I assured her. “I’m afraid you aren’t the only one needing new shoes this year.”

  “Even Pa does,” Rorey agreed. “He patched his boots for the ’leventy-hundredth time, an’ they’s started to fall apart.”

  “We’ll have to be praying on all that,” I told her. “You’ll help me, won’t you?”

  “All right. I guess so,” she said, seeming to feel better about it already.

  Charlie Hunter was right on time, but he seemed earlier than usual, because I was in the middle of changing Emmie Grace for the third time. I knew we really should start training this child, but neither Lizbeth nor I had gotten around to trying. When Charlie pulled up and honked, I was in such a hurry that I poked the baby with one of the pins by mistake. She cried, and I felt terrible.

  “So sorry, sweetie.” I tried to comfort her, lifting her up to my shoulder. She started tugging my hair down, and I made her quit, which upset her all the more.

  Samuel offered to take her, but she didn’t want to go to him this time. So she stayed with me, fussing and carrying on until we were outside and Sarah said, “Look, Emmie! Bunny rabbits!”

  Emmie looked and got real quiet. I looked too. Three big rabbits, helping themselves to the green beans and cabbage we would need so much. I handed Emmie to Samuel whether she wanted to go or not and ran at the garden with a sho
ut.

  Charlie just waited, and all the kids watched, probably thinking me a sight, running across the yard in my Sunday clothes.

  “We can’t keep them out while we’re gone,” Samuel said.

  “Well, I can sure try while I’m here.” I watched the furry thieves go hopping away from me toward the cornfield. “Where is Whiskers? This is his job.”

  Robert whistled long and shrill, and Whiskers came loping out of the barn, stopping in front of me to stretch.

  “I wish you’d nap out here,” I told the dog. “Maybe the rabbits would stay away.”

  “Least it ain’t deer,” Charlie Hunter put in. “Over by Belle Rive, they’re having a terrible time keepin’ the deer out.”

  “They’ve been in the corn around here too,” I told him, suddenly very weary. We struggled constantly, against weather and animals and prices and the whole economy around us. And I was tired of it. More tired than I’d even realized.

  “Ready to go?” Samuel seemed to be asking everybody.

  I hurried to crowd myself into Charlie’s car along with the rest. But for the first time in so long, I wasn’t feeling real about going to church. I was going because we always went, but I didn’t feel like it. I would have rather stayed home all by myself and talked to God in the vegetable garden, keeping the rabbits away at the same time. I would ask him why times were hard, even for praying people. I would ask him why he’d taken Emma and Wilametta last winter when we were so unprepared. I would ask what we were supposed to do about Katie and Edward. And why Franky had to get hurt. And what we were to do now.

  “We’re not supposed to have all the answers,” Franky had said. Well, maybe that was just fine. But I didn’t see why we couldn’t at least have some.

  What if Edward came back again? After all he’d done! What then?

  Seventy times seven. The words popped into my head before I could begin to think what they could mean. Seventy times seven. I knew I’d heard them before, I’d read them before, but I didn’t remember when. And I didn’t want to think about it.

  Little Emmie snuggled up to me, and Charlie took to driving as fast as always, faster than anybody else I knew, but I’d come to like it. I guessed he was in a hurry to get back to his new wife, whom he always left in town when he came to get us. She walked the few blocks to church, and he drove seven miles to pick us up. I’d told him over and over he didn’t have to come, that we’d find another way, but he wouldn’t quit. He said he’d pledged to God and Emma Graham to make sure we got there as long as we wanted to go.

  He was a marvel, I guessed. One of those friends that if you thank God for him every day, it still isn’t enough. Pastor and Juanita Jones were the same way. Precious and kind. I loved to see them, to get the chance to sit and talk to Juanita. She’d been wonderful last Christmas and was still just as wonderful to us. If it hadn’t been for her, I wasn’t sure how I could have handled it all. I shuddered even now, just remembering.

  I saw Samuel looking back at me and knew he was wondering if I was all right this morning, but he didn’t ask. He was a jewel, even more than Juanita. There he sat with his puffy black eye and bruises, but he didn’t seem the least bit concerned over himself. Maybe nobody would say much of anything about how he looked. I hoped not. But just as I was thinking that, Charlie Hunter turned his head slightly in Samuel’s direction and started with the questions.

  “What happened to you? Walk into the barn door?”

  “No. It’s a long story.”

  “We got a while to church,” Charlie maintained. “You mind tellin’ it?”

  “I’d rather not.”

  Charlie gave him an odd look. “Okay.” He was only quiet for minute, turning a corner and then glancing at Samuel again. “I see your company’s still here. Bet that’s been fun for Sarah. Best times I remember when I was a kid was when cousins came to visit.”

  “She’s not our cousin,” Robert replied. “We don’t know what she is.”

  “Robert!” I exclaimed in dismay. Why in the world would he say something like that, right in front of her?

  “We claim her as kin,” Samuel said quickly. “My family’s kind of mixed up and distant.”

  “Not sure what that means,” Charlie admitted. “But I knew you were family when I saw you in town the other day.”

  Charlie always had an innocent way of looking at things. He didn’t ask for more details and didn’t seem bothered at all that Samuel didn’t supply any. He would have taken Katie for a cousin and left it at that if Robert hadn’t said anything. And Samuel’s bruises! Walking into the barn door was a perfectly reasonable explanation to Charlie. Unfortunately, that wouldn’t be what most people would think of first.

  I was considering Hazel Sharpe and her abrasive tongue as we parked along the street in front of the church. Too bad everybody couldn’t be like Charlie and his bride, Millie. She was waiting for us under a tree in front of the church, looking like she would swoon with delight when he got out of the car.

  “What’s church going to be like?” Katie asked again nervously.

  “Sometimes it’s dull as old nails,” Robert volunteered. “But other times it’s good as radio.”

  “Robert John—” I started.

  But Charlie was laughing. “Dear ol’ Emma taught him to speak his mind, Mrs. Wortham! You can tell he remembers his lessons. Besides, that was quite a compliment to the pastor. Good as radio even once in a while’s doing mighty fine, I’d say.”

  I let it go. If I was going to talk to Robert about “speaking his mind,” now was not the time.

  I walked toward the church, carrying Emmie Grace, who’d amazingly gone to sleep over my shoulder. Katie reached her little hand into Samuel’s as Charlie left us to join his wife. Through the open church window, I saw Hazel Sharpe and wondered if I could dare sit with her the way I usually did once Sunday school got over. She tolerated it, sometimes without speaking to us at all. But today I knew I couldn’t trust her to hold her tongue. Of course, maybe it would be worse if I didn’t sit with her. Maybe she would think we had something to hide, something to be ashamed of.

  Sarah and Rorey ran on ahead of us, looking for their Sunday school friends. Robert lagged behind me the way he usually did. But Samuel walked up the church steps boldly with Katie at his side. He could never be that much of a liar, I thought. If it were really true, what Edward says, he’d be ashamed to show his face here.

  I thought Samuel very brave, like Daniel must have been, knowing he was facing a den of lions. Sure, this was our church family, but there were a few members who could bite and claw with the best of them. I took a deep breath and followed my husband, knowing we were already drawing glances.

  “I heard about him,” Ella Cole was whispering to Magnolia Burns as we walked past. “Can you believe it?”

  I nearly tripped on the stair. Emma Grace opened her eyes with a start, and I eased her little head back down to my shoulder. Why should I think they were talking about us? So what if they were? God knew the truth.

  For a moment, Samuel turned his eyes to look at me. God knows the truth, I thought again. And maybe he’s the only one who needs to. Who cares what anybody else thinks or says?

  I watched my husband take another step toward that church door, even as Harold and Bernice Walker were starting in our direction and looking at us so strangely.

  At least Samuel was here, presenting himself to God— bruises, accusations, and all. That was what mattered.

  I smiled, feeling ready to conquer the world at my husband’s side. I didn’t think I could be shaken. I didn’t think one soul here could upset me, not even Hazel Sharpe, no matter what they’d heard or what they said.

  “Mr. Wortham!” Harold Walker was calling. He didn’t say Samuel, the way he usually did. I wondered if he and Bernice had been waiting for us. They lived next to the church and were usually among the first inside.

  “Mr. Wortham!” he called again, even though Samuel had already stopped on the stair and tur
ned around.

  “The Bible teaches us to be frank with one another,” Harold started out, all in a rush. “You know, if we have somethin’ again’ a brother to go to him an’ all . . .”

  Samuel nodded, not saying a word. I had a feeling he knew exactly what was coming. And I wasn’t nearly as prepared as he was.

  “Some fella come up here yesterday lookin’ for the pastor. I tol’ him where to find him, but when he found out I was church folks with you, he tol’ me some of his business, so I could pray on it, you know. An’ it’s just about kept us up all night, being concerned about you and all.”

  Bernice was standing beside him, nodding her head and looking at me like I was some poor lost child.

  “Now, we understand that your personal business is your own,” he went on, “but when it comes to the family of God—”

  Samuel cut him off impatiently. “Just tell me what he said.”

  Harold stopped, looked at both of us and then down at Katie. “Well . . . he said quite a lot. That you were befriending us all for gain, that was one thing.”

  “I haven’t asked for anything,” Samuel said simply. “I haven’t taken anything either.”

  “You’ve taken quite a lot, seems to me,” Harold argued. “Ever since Christmas, folks has been givin’ you all kinds a’ things. Scarves for the kids, peach preserves . . .”

  Samuel bowed his head.

  “We’ve appreciated every bit,” I said quickly. “It would’ve been a hard winter for us and especially the Hammonds without the church’s kindness.”

  Harold’s eyes narrowed. “Kindness is one thing, but when it comes to takin’ advantage—”

  “I haven’t asked for anything,” Samuel repeated, starting up the stairs again. “And my brother just likes to make trouble.”

  “He said you was the trouble,” Harold pressed, following Samuel up a step. “Having us all hoodwinked ’bout what you done to Emma.”

  Samuel turned around, and I saw the fire in his eyes. He could have said plenty. He could have done a thousand things. But he only sighed and turned away again. “Believe what you want to believe.”