“I’m glad that it worked out that way, that you were given that chance.”
* * *
This was it. This was the moment she had been obsessed with over the last week. All she had to do was explain that she had been there that night and that she had suspicions that the case manager that night had been talking about her son when she had told David that there could be a heart available. All she had to do was open her mouth and the words would come, she knew they would.
“Hey, Sarah, Hannah’s here and wanted to know if you had a second to talk to her,” Melody said from the doorway.
She’d missed her chance.
Turning away from David she stood and headed toward the door before turning back. “Didn’t you say you’d like to meet Lindsey’s mother?” she asked.
“That’s okay,” David said, “I’m scheduled in surgery with Dr. Benton this afternoon.”
“Okay,” she said, then turned again toward the door before stopping a second time. “Did you say you wanted to come out to the ranch? This Saturday is therapy day for the kids enrolled in the program if you want to come and bring your son.”
“Yeah, Davey would love that.”
She could feel his searching eyes on her as she left the room. Instead of coming clean with David, she had just managed to make him think she was nosy. There had to be a better way to go about this. If only she didn’t feel that gut-wrenching pain when she thought of that night maybe she could. She’d asked David to share his personal experiences with her, but she’d been unable to share with him her own experiences that day.
She’d been working one on one with David for a week now helping him to understand her side of the cardiac practice and she’d been impressed with how well he interacted with both the young patients and their parents. He’d been up-front with the parents when they’d had concerns about their children’s diagnosis and risks of the many procedures that were necessary. She had no doubt that if it was David in her position that he would have come right out and told her.
But he hadn’t been through what she had been through that night, she reminded herself. His child had survived that night, hers hadn’t. Either way, she had to tell him. The next time she had an opportunity to tell David she’d do it, no matter how much it hurt.
* * *
David pulled his car off the highway and stared down the long dirt road. He’d been driving for almost an hour and had started to think he was lost.
“Are we there?” his son asked, trying to strain his neck to look over from his booster seat in the back of the car.
David looked at the metal sign hanging over the road that swung back and forth with the wind. He hadn’t expected anything this big when Lindsey had been telling him about the horses Sarah had at her house, but from the size of the pastures that ran on both sides of the road he could see he had been mistaken. He looked back up at the sign that read “Henderson’s Horse Farm.”
“I think we are,” he answered his son.
He eased his car down the clay dirt road until he saw the large stables surrounded by a high white livestock fence. He parked the car beside an old gray pickup truck covered in red dust and a new SUV that along with his car looked totally out of place.
After opening the back door to get his son out, he fought with the seat buckle as his son tried to help.
“Hurry, Daddy, I want to see the horses,” Davey said as he pulled against the buckled strap.
“I know, son, but we’re not going to get there any sooner if you don’t let me get this buckle undone,” David said. Somehow he could perform surgery on the smallest of hearts, but the talent for unbuckling the car seat was something he had never been able to achieve. Finally, he freed his son and he watched as Davey ran toward the open door of the stable.
“Woe, slow down partner,” David said as he grabbed his son’s hand, “we talked about this. We don’t run where there are big horses around, do we?”
By the time they had entered the door, Davey had stopped trying to pull against his dad and slowed to a stop as soon as he saw the other children and adults in the building. As Sarah made her way over to them, his son had grabbed him behind his leg and was trying to hide behind him. Davey had a tendency to be shy when he first met new people, but he was too inquisitive for it to last very long.
“Davey, this is Mrs. Henderson. She’s the one who invited us to come see the horses,” David said as he tried to pry his son from behind him. “Remember, I told you she had a horse named Maple.”
“That’s a funny name for a horse,” Davey said, peaking around his father’s leg at Sarah.
Unlike the always neatly dressed Sarah he was used to seeing, this Sarah wore a long-tailed chambray shirt that looked two sizes too big over jeans that had almost faded to white. Jeans that were tucked into a pair of scarred brown cowboy boots. Her hair, usually piled atop her head, was hanging down past her shoulders in thick brown waves and her warm brown eyes seemed to be captivated by his son who had finally come out from behind him, though he still hung onto David’s legs.
“Maybe she’s a funny horse. Do you want to go see her?” she asked as she bent down and held out her hand to his five-year-old son.
David followed the two of them over to where four other children and a short weathered man seemed to be studying a dark brown horse that stood in a rectangular stall.
“This is Davey,” Sarah said as she started to introduce his son to all the other children.
“Hi, I’m Jack Henderson,” the man said as he held out his hand. David put his age around sixty and figured this couldn’t be Sarah’s husband. He shook Jack’s hand and then the man turned toward Davey.
“Hi, Davey. I’m Miss Sarah’s father-in-law, Mr. Jack. Did I hear you say that our Maple is a funny horse?” the man asked as he bent down so that he could talk to Davey.
“I said it was a funny name. I didn’t know horses could be funny,” Davey said.
“Well, horses have all kinds of personalities, just like people. How about I introduce you to some of them?” Jack said as he held his hand to Davey. Davey stared up at him with eyes that pleaded for his dad to let him go explore the other stalls.
“You can go, but remember what I said about running and no leaving the stable without me,” David said, then watched as his son headed off with the older man toward the end of the stalls. He could tell by how the man had interacted with Davey that he had spent some time around children, but Davey could be a handful at times and he really didn’t like letting him go off with strangers. Hearing a loud snort, he turned to see Sarah opening a stall and leading out the large brown horse.
“Josh, you can take Maddie but stay in the north paddock where I can see you,” she said while handing the reins over to an older teenage boy, who took the horse and led him out of the stable.
He watched as she handed the reins of a smaller horse to a young nurse he had seen at the hospital, who took the horse and the other three children out another side door. As Sarah walked toward him, he was aware of how much she looked like she belonged here, while he felt totally out of his element. He forced his eyes away from Sarah and back to Davey.
“He’ll be fine,” Sarah said as she appeared at his side, “Jack will watch him.”
“I know,” he said, though he couldn’t help but check on the progress his son and the older man were making as they seemed to be stopping at each stall.
“I’m so glad you made it,” Sarah said as she looked around the stable. “What do you think?”
“It’s definitely not what I was expecting,” he said, “I was thinking you had a couple of horses in your backyard. This is amazing.”
“It is, isn’t it,” she said. Her eyes lit up with her smile and it was easy to see how much she loved the ranch. “It’s a lot of work, but Jack has a small staff that helps with the horses and keeps up the grounds.”
“
Are all the horses yours?” David asked as he looked at the horses still in their stalls as they walked toward the door where the group of children had gone. He took a look back behind him and saw that Davey was still occupied with Jack as they continued going from horse to horse.
“Only three of them are mine, but we board a few for friends, or Jack does, but most of them are for breeding. This is all Jack’s. I just help when I can. He’s been great about letting me base a therapy program here. The kids love it out here and after spending as much time as they do inside hospital walls, it’s good for them to spend time outside. I give some private lessons to the kids from the hospital that are interested and cleared medically by their doctors,” she said.
“I’m impressed,” he said. “And your husband? I thought I might meet him today. Is he not a horse person?” Though how he couldn’t be if he was raised among all these beautiful animals he couldn’t imagine.
“My husband, Kolton, passed away. We started the therapy program in memory of him,” Sarah said, turning away from him and stopping to rub the neck of a beautiful white horse that was nudging her with his head. David stood and watched the two of them as he tried to think of something to say. But what was there to say? She was so young to have lost her husband. He had noticed that she didn’t mention anything about her family, but he had assumed that she was just a private person when it came to her home life.
“I’m so sorry, Sarah. I didn’t know,” he said. It sounded so inadequate.
“It’s okay. It’s not something I talk about. It’s in the past,” Sarah said as she continued to talk quietly to the horse in front of her, which seemed to comfort both of them.
“And this, Davey, is Sugar,” Jack said as he and David’s son walked up behind them making it easy to change the subject from one that he could see made Sarah uncomfortable.
“So she’s named Sugar because she’s sweet?” Davey asked the older man. David could see the wonder in his son’s eyes as he stared up at the large white horse. He’d heard of people getting horse fever and he could understand them now. He was sure it would be easy to fall in love with any one of the animals.
“She’s named Sugar because she was the sweetest gift I was ever given,” said Sarah. “Do you want to pet her?”
David tensed as Sarah lifted his son up on her hips and showed him the proper way to touch a horse and explained to him how Sugar liked her neck rubbed in long strokes. He’d been a little apprehensive about bringing Davey around the big horses, but after talking with some of the nurses at work, he’d learned that Sarah had a good reputation for working safely with the patients from the hospital. Still, he’d have to buy Davey a safety helmet if he was going to spend more time here. And from the look on Davey’s face, they would be back.
Looking over at the majestic animal, he had to admit he would like to learn more about the horses himself. Maybe this was something the two of them could do together; and Sarah was right, the fresh air was good for children.
“Can I touch her?” he asked Sarah.
She gave him a smile and a nod and he reached out to the horse and rubbed its neck. It was easy to see why his son enjoyed this as the horse leaned her head against him.
“I’m thinking this horse definitely deserves its name. What do you think, Davey?” he asked his son.
“You should see the big black one down there,” his son said as he pointed to the other end of the building. “His name is Thunder. Mr. Jack says it’s because he makes a really loud noise when he runs. Mr. Jack said I might get to ride him some day when I’m bigger. You want to see him?”
Letting Davey down onto the floor, Sarah explained where they would be and David let his son pull him down to where the large black horse whose temperament seemed to match its name stood with a look that seemed to dare the two of them to come any closer. He knew immediately that he would never be comfortable with his son riding such a big horse. As his son rattled off the names of other horses, they headed out to where Sarah was working with the other children.
“That was great, Ryan. Take him around one more time. Loosen up on the reins a bit,” Sarah said as she directed a boy that couldn’t have been over ten. “There, you see. She’s not fighting against you when the bit’s looser.”
David leant against a fence and watched her as she took time with each child, making sure they felt comfortable with the horse as well as that the horse felt comfortable with them. He’d learned so much about Sarah today. He had assumed that Sarah was married after she had mentioned that she ran the therapy program with her father-in-law. He’d never imagined that she had lost a husband. Sometimes he forgot that he wasn’t the only one who had things in their past that they didn’t want to discuss with others.
When Jack returned with a small brown pony, he watched Davey’s eyes light up and there was no telling him that he couldn’t take a ride around the paddock on him. He pulled out his phone and started a search for a helmet with a good safety rating.
* * *
Sarah watched as Jack worked with Davey on the pony he had brought up from the small paddock they had behind the house. She could barely pull her eyes away from the child that looked so much like his father with his dark hair and those beautiful eyes. He had been shy at first, hiding behind his father. Cody had been the same way when he had first met strangers, though like Davey the shyness was short-lived. She couldn’t help but smile when the little boy started giggling over something that Jack had said to him, though inside she felt a sting of pain with the memory of her own son who had loved spending time with his grandfather.
She hadn’t been surprised when her father-in-law had been drawn to the small boy. Though Jack rarely showed his grief of losing his only son and the only grandchild he would ever have, she knew that working with the kids from the hospital helped him as much as it did her and the kids. And though smaller than Cody would have been at Davey’s age, the boy’s excited nature around the horses couldn’t help but remind them both of how excited three-year-old Cody had always been when his grandfather had walked him around the stable telling him about all of the horses he would be able to ride once he got bigger. Only Cody had never had the chance to get big enough to ride one of the horses.
“Thanks again, for letting us come,” David said. “Davey will be talking about this for a long time.”
“I’m glad he’s enjoying it. He and Jack seem to be having fun. Let’s give them a little more time,” she said as she climbed the wood fence that circled the paddock so that she could see the little boy better.
As she had worked with the rest of the kids, she’d given a lot of thought about what she was going to say to David. A part of her desperately wanted to know if there was a possibility that her son’s donated heart had been given to his son while another part just wanted to enjoy the day sitting beside David as they watched his son taking his ride. Once the rest of the children had left, she’d decided that taking small steps to see what she could learn would be the best course for now. She knew she was being a coward in not telling David just yet about the chance that Davey had received her son’s heart, but she also knew that David was a private man and she couldn’t just hit him with that information until she had an idea about how he would take it. She didn’t want things to become strange between the two of them. They would still have to work together no matter what she learned about Davey’s heart.
And she’d have to tell him about losing Cody and right now watching the healthy little boy that Davey had grown up to be, she didn’t want to face the pain of the past. But she could use this opportunity to learn more about Davey.
“I saw Massey in the office with Dr. Benton for her checkup last week. She told me that you were giving her private lessons here?” he asked. She watched as he climbed the fence then slung his own legs across the top board.
“I offer to give all our patients private lessons when they’re well enough to take them. S
he was cleared to start lessons six months after her transplant last year. She’s doing really well. Are you thinking about letting Davey take lessons?” she asked. She watched as Davey broke out in laughter again. It was amazing how after everything the little boy had been through, he was still such a happy child. From things David had said she knew that he had worked hard to let Davey live as much of a normal life as possible. She couldn’t help but wonder where Davey’s mother fit into their life.
“Maybe, someday, but I was thinking maybe it would be good for me to take them first. That way I would know the risks,” he said as he joined her in watching his laughing son.
“That would probably be good for you. It might make you feel better to know how I teach, that is if you want me to teach him.”
“It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just...” David looked over at her as he rubbed the back of his neck with one hand as he held on to the fence with the other. “Okay, maybe I’m a little protective, but it’s not personal. Besides, I can’t have my son outdoing me.”
“I understand, David,” she said. She couldn’t help but think of how Kolton had made fun of how protective she had been of Cody around the horses. “I’d be glad to give you some lessons, but I have to tell you that I’m used to teaching kids, not adults.”
Sarah and the Single Dad Page 3
