Sarah and the Single Dad

by Deanne Anders

  “Not right now, but I would be interested in seeing his labs and of course I’ll talk to Dr. Benton when he comes in this morning,” David said. He didn’t want the woman to think he didn’t trust her opinion, but he was glad that she had consulted Dr. Benton.

  “If you think of anything else you’d like to ask me or if there are any other tests you feel we should run just have the nurse let me know,” she said before she left the room, shutting the door quietly behind her.

  She’d done everything to put David at ease and more, but it was the fact that he hadn’t listened to his intuition when he had first thought that his son was sick that still stuck with him. He’d known something was wrong when Davey had come home from school, but he ignored all the signs because he had wanted to keep his date with Sarah. What kind of father did that make him? He’d put his own desires ahead of his son’s needs. That was exactly what Lisa had done. And he wouldn’t make that mistake again. From now on Davey would be his only priority.

  “It’s going to be okay, Davey,” he said as his son stirred under the covers. “I’m here. I’m not going to ever leave you again. I promise.”

  * * *

  Sarah sat beside Jack in the hard plastic chairs that seemed to line every emergency waiting room. It had been almost two hours since Davey had been brought in. She’d hoped that David would be able to come out and update them, but her patience for waiting till he returned was wearing off.

  “Maybe you should go back there and check on them,” Jack said from beside her. Her father-in-law had been quiet the whole trip to the hospital and had said only a handful of words since they had arrived.

  “I will. Would you like a cup of coffee? I can raid the staff kitchen, they won’t mind.”

  “That would be good,” Jack said, then looked down where he had his cowboy hat in his lap. “If Davey’s awake, I’d really like to see him.”

  “I’ll be back in just a few minutes,” she said as she patted his arm. She knew that Jack was feeling guilty that Davey had been lost while he’d been watching him, but no one could have expected that the boy would take off on an old rundown pony.

  After finding a nurse that she recognized, she’d been able to get the information of which room had been assigned to Davey. Opening the door quietly, she saw David messing with the old blanket that covered Davey.

  “Yours?” he asked as she shut the door behind her.

  “It was Cody’s,” she said as she looked over the little boy lying on the stretcher between the two of them. Davey’s cheeks had lost their bright red color telling her that the fever had broken and his respirations appeared less labored than they had when she had first found him.

  “And the house where you found him, it was yours too?” he asked.

  “Yes,” she said. She’d tried to ignore the existence of that house, her and Kolton’s forever home, but after walking through those rooms she knew that it was time for her to face the house and all the memories it held.

  “Sarah,” said a small voice from the stretcher. Davey’s green eyes stared up at her with confusion. “I had a dream and you were in it.”

  “Hey, Davey,” David said to his son. “How do you feel?”

  “I’m okay,” Davey answered as he looked over at his dad, and then looked back at her. “It was you that I dreamed about. You and Humphrey, and you too Daddy.”

  “It wasn’t a dream,” she said, it had been more of a nightmare, but she didn’t want to tell Davey that.

  “You and Humphrey went on quite an adventure. Do you remember Sarah finding you?” David asked.

  “Is it okay to go and get Jack?” she asked and was relieved when David nodded his agreement. She didn’t think he held any hard feelings against Jack, but she knew there were some people that would have insisted on blaming him. But not David, he seemed to be insistent that it was his own fault instead.

  When she returned, David had set the head of the bed up and was trying to get his son to take a sip from a straw. She felt the older man tense when the boy’s eyes dropped down to the bed when he saw Jack come in beside her.

  “Do you have something to say to Mr. Jack, Davey?” his father asked.

  “I’m sorry, Mr. Jack. I know I shouldn’t have gone off without telling you.” Sarah saw the boy’s eyes shoot to his father. “And I won’t do it again.”

  “That’s okay, Davey,” her father-in-law said as he moved closer to the little boy’s bed.

  “Won’t do what again?” David asked his son in a stern tone that left no room for the boy to scout around it.

  “I won’t go off without telling Mr. Jack,” the boy looked over at his daddy. A silent message seemed to pass between the two of them. “And I won’t go off on my own ever again until my daddy says I’m old enough.”

  “Why did you leave, Davey?” Jack asked.

  “I just needed my daddy, but I promised him that I wouldn’t do that again,” Davey said, then yawned.

  The speech seemed to have taken everything out of the boy as his eyes once more appeared heavy with sleep. The three adults stood and stared down at him until once more he seemed to have fallen back asleep.

  She waited for David to ask her to stay with him, when Jack told her that he was going to head back to the farm, but he didn’t. Still, she wasn’t ready to leave the two of them yet so she made up an excuse to hang around the hospital a little longer.

  “I think I’ll get changed and go up on the unit and check on Lindsey and I might as well round on a couple of the new surgery patients too,” she said. “Will you be okay driving back on your own?”

  “I’ll be fine,” Jack said. “I’ve spent many a night waiting for a mare to drop a foal. I’ll grab a cup of coffee to go.”

  She left the two men talking while she went and got Jack a cup of coffee to take with him, then told David that she would check back with him later.

  After rounding on two new patients and writing an admission note for Dr. Benton, she went to see Lindsey. Entering the room, she was surprised to see Lindsey was not only awake, but the large ECMO cannulas that had taken the blood from her body and then returned it after oxygenation had been removed. While the little girl’s color was still pale, some of the fluid that had been collecting in her body causing the swelling of her face and extremities had decreased, leaving her looking more like herself.

  “Hey, Sarah,” the little girl said with a small smile.

  “Lindsey, I’m so happy to see you,” she said as she went to sit down beside her on a chair that she’d last seen Hannah asleep in. “Where’s your mother?”

  “She had to go to work. I thought she might have been fired again—that’s what usually happens when I get sick and she has to spend a lot of time here, but she says her new boss understands.”

  Sarah didn’t know what to say. Had any of them really ever bothered to think about how hard it would be for Lindsey’s mother to keep a job while having to go back and forth to the hospital on a regular basis?

  She left Lindsey to get some rest and headed back to check on Davey only to find that he had already been moved to the pediatric acute care floor. Deciding that she would look in on him before she headed home, she looked up his room number.

  “Hey,” she said as she stuck her head in the door to Davey’s room to find David standing beside his son’s bed watching his son sleep.

  “I used to do this all the time. Just sit there and watch him sleep wondering how long I would have him with me. He’s been so healthy since the transplant that I’ve just taken it for granted that he would be okay.

  “I dropped my guard, Sarah. I got caught up in my own life and forgot that keeping Davey safe has to be the most important thing in my life right now. It was my responsibility to keep Davey safe. Just mine. And instead of looking after him like I should have, I left him when I knew something was wrong.”

  Did he re
ally believe that he was in this alone? Didn’t he realize how much she cared about his son?

  “I understand that you’re upset. It’s been a rough night, but you don’t have to go through this by yourself. I love Davey. Jack loves Davey. We all want to be there to help you.”

  “Don’t you see, Sarah. It’s been me and Davey for years now and we’ve made it work. I’m sorry, it’s just better that for right now I spend my time concentrating on Davey.”

  Sarah stood, staring at him. David hadn’t explicitly said that whatever it was that they’d shared was over, but Sarah understood nonetheless.

  She took a deep breath and chose her words carefully. “If you truly believe that, David, then I’m the one who’s sorry. You can do everything in your power to keep the people you love safe and there are no guarantees in this life. Things happen. It’s not anyone’s fault, that’s just the way life works.” Then she held her head high as she turned and walked away, desperate to get out of the room.

  She wouldn’t let him see her cry. David had stood there and ripped out her heart and he hadn’t even realized it.

  For the first time since she’d lost Kolton and Cody she had let herself feel hope for a future and all it had gotten her was more pain. Just the possibility of a new family with David and Davey had made her feel alive and now she felt torn in two.

  * * *

  “What’s wrong?” Jack asked as she came to sit by him at the table the next morning where he was reading the newspaper. “Is it Davey?”

  “Davey’s fine,” she said, not wanting him to worry. “I’m just tired.”

  “And since when did your being tired cause you to cry?” Jack asked. “Sometimes just sharing what’s troubling you can be a help.”

  After the death of Kolton and Cody Sarah had spent hours talking to Jack. He’d been the only one to understand what she was going through because her loss had been his loss too.

  Pouring herself a cup of coffee from the pot on the table, Sarah told Jack everything. He listened as she explained how she had first seen David that night at the hospital when they had lost Cody and the suspicions she had concerning the donation. She told him about the notes they had both sent to the organ procurement organization and how they were waiting for responses. She admitted to Jack that what she was feeling for David had become deeper than friendship, then ended with how David had pulled away from her because he didn’t feel he could have a life himself and be there for Davey.

  “Look, David’s upset right now. He might not be thinking straight because he’s concerned about his son, but I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He cares for you, Sarah. It doesn’t sound like he had much of a relationship with his first wife, not like you had with Kolton, so he doesn’t understand the feelings he has for you. Tell me something,” he said as he pushed back from the table. “What would you have done if Kolton had tried to push you away?”

  “I’d have pushed back at him,” Sarah said as she realized where her father-in-law was going with the conversation.

  “It seems David’s first wife ran at the first sign of trouble. Maybe that’s what he’s afraid of. Maybe he just needs someone to push back at him instead of running away,” Jack said before getting up from the table. “What do you tell your students when they fall off a horse?”

  “I tell them to get back up there. You can’t let one fall stop you,” she said as she smiled for the first time that day.

  “Then it’s time for you to get back on that horse,” Jack said with a smile before he headed out the back door leaving her to consider his advice.

  CHAPTER TEN

  THE PHONE BESIDE Sarah’s bed was ringing. She could hear it, knew that she needed to answer it, but she couldn’t seem to find it. She turned over and felt the hard case under her left hip.

  “Hello,” she said as she hit the button on her phone. Looking outside she realized it was still dark. Had something happened to Davey? Suddenly awake, she grasped the phone and checked the caller ID. It was the hospital. “Hello? David?”

  “Sarah? It’s Betsy, from the cardiac unit. I’m sorry to wake you, but Dr. Benton said you’d want to know.”

  “Know what, Betsy? Is something wrong with Davey?” she asked as she jumped out of bed. She was sure she had left a pair of work pants lying out on her bedroom chair.

  “I’m sorry, I don’t know anything about Davey,” the unit coordinator said.

  Sarah sat down hard on the chair that she’d been balancing against as she tried to coordinate her legs enough to get them into her pants. “Betsy, it’s—” she looked over at the clock by her bed “—four o’clock in the morning—can you please tell me why Dr. Benton wanted me called?”

  “Oh, yeah, it’s Lindsey. He wanted you to know that they have a heart for her,” Betsy said.

  “Hang on, just a sec,” Sarah said.

  She finished pulling on her pants, and then started looking through her closet for a shirt.

  “Are you still there?” Betsy asked her as she came back on the phone. “The charge nurse wants to talk to you.”

  “Sarah, it’s Tammy. Sorry about all this confusion, but Dr. Benton said that you could help.”

  “Of course, what do you need?” She’d be glad to help if someone would just explain to her what was going on.

  “It’s Hannah. We can’t get her on the phone,” the charge nurse said. “We’re going to get Lindsey ready, but we really need to get her mother here.”

  Sarah found a pen and wrote down an address. It wasn’t far from the hospital, but it wasn’t a neighborhood that she was familiar with. “I’m headed out now. Tell Dr. Benton that I’ll have her there.” She just hoped that it was a promise she could keep.

  * * *

  An hour later, Sarah drove into a small group of apartments that had seen better days, though it was doubtful that they had ever been much to look at. Checking the house number on the piece of paper, she knocked on the door and waited. A startled Hannah came to the door and soon Sarah had her dressed and on the way to the hospital.

  “I’m sorry. I worked closing last night, and then I had to study.” Hannah said.

  “What are you studying for?” Sarah asked, though she had seen the books lying out on the small table in the small living room.

  “I’m taking nursing courses,” the young woman said, then looked away. “You probably think I’m wasting my time.”

  “I think that is great. Does Lindsey know?” Sarah asked.

  “Yeah, but I didn’t want her to say anything,” Hannah said.

  Sarah pulled into the parking place and turned toward her. “Lindsey loves you and I know she’s proud of you. I’m proud of you too. This transplant will change both of your lives and if I can help, I will. I mean that, okay?”

  Sarah was beginning to realize that Hannah had been too proud to ask for help or maybe she hadn’t felt that she could ask for help. As Sarah watched her head down the hallway at a run toward her daughter’s room, she thought of the other person she needed to see that didn’t want to accept help.

  * * *

  David jerked awake. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep—he’d just been going to rest his eyes for a moment. He looked down at his watch and saw that he’d slept most of the night. Stretching, he stood to check on Davey who seemed to be sleeping comfortably, and was shocked to find Sarah asleep in the chair across from him. He’d assumed that she had gone home hours earlier. After checking Davey’s forehead and pulse, he moved over to Sarah.

  “Sarah,” he said as he squatted by her chair. He watched as her eyes blinked open then widened when she saw him. “What are you doing here?”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” she said, then gasped, “What time is it?”

  “It’s early. Why?” he asked, then moved away from her, away from the temptation to take her in his arms. He needed to keep her at arm’s le
ngth until he could learn to control himself better around her.

  His life had never been a peaceful one. It had been messy and stressful with an ex-wife that had cared more for her career than for their child who needed a lot of medical attention and care. He had accepted that this would be his life after Davey had been born and Lisa had left. And as Davey had lain there in his crib, not knowing that his mother had walked out on them, he had promised his son that he would always be there for him, that he would make whatever sacrifice he needed to take care of him. Turning away Sarah had to be the hardest sacrifice he had ever made.

  “Did Dr. Benton call you?” Sarah asked as she moved over to where he stood beside Davey’s bed. “About Lindsey?”

  The little girl’s name brought him back to whatever it was that Sarah was saying.

  “What about Lindsey? Did she have a relapse?” he asked. The girl had seemed to be improving when he had last seen her. Had that been two days ago or had it been three days? The days were all starting to run together now.

  “No, it’s a heart, David. They have a heart for Lindsey,” Sarah said as she grabbed both his forearms with her hands.

  “That’s wonderful. I know Dr. Benton had his doubts that she’d get a transplant in time, but that doesn’t explain why you’re here.”

  “I thought you might want to assist the transplant team and I knew you’d feel better about it if there was someone to stay with Davey for you,” she said as Dr. Benton opened the door.

  “I hope I’m not interrupting, but we’ve got an ETA from Dr. Dreaden and Anesthesia is about to take Lindsey back to the OR,” Dr. Benton said.

  David looked from the doctor to Sarah.

  “I’ll be right there,” he said, then waited till the doctor had closed the door.

  “I’ll take care of him, David. Go help with the surgery. You know you want to. We’ll both be waiting for you when you get back,” Sarah said before taking a seat next to his son’s bed.