by Anne Herries
Could he bring himself to forget the dreams he’d carried so long? A stormy look touched his face. If Lucy Dawlish married the Earl of Daventry he would have no choice but to find a woman who would make few demands on him.
He imagined that Judith Sparrow would do her duty in the matter of heirs for Ravenscar. After that, they could live their own lives.
If that was all he could expect of life, then so be it.
* * *
Judith asked Lucy if all was well at Ravenscar and nodded when told that Paul expected to visit them in Bath the following week.
‘I wished I might have come with you this morning,’ she said, ‘but I had promised Charles that he might drive me out one last time before we leave for Bath. He says that he shall come down, but I hope he will not. He is devoted to me, but just a boy. In time, such devotion becomes a little wearying. He would not suit me as a husband at all—I need a man, not a lapdog.’
‘That is unkind,’ Lucy said, feeling out of patience with her. ‘It might have been kinder not to encourage him so much.’
‘Are you cross with me, dearest?’ Judith asked in surprise. ‘I assure you I have never encouraged Charles. Indeed, I have been frank with him and I behave to him as I might a younger brother—but it makes no difference. Indeed, I believe he feels safe flirting with me, because he knows I would never marry him.’
‘Oh...’ Lucy blushed and felt foolish. She knew that her cross feelings towards her cousin had nothing to do with Charles Benson and everything to do with Paul Ravenscar.
‘Do you encourage Captain Ravenscar?’ she asked, her cheeks hot. ‘He was speaking of his marriage this morning. I believe he means to marry because he needs an heir. I do not know if he has hopes of you, Cousin?’
‘He may have,’ Judith admitted. ‘I find him interesting...though, at the beginning, I admit I was determined to teach him a lesson. He seemed arrogant the first time we met, but I have discovered that he is not so at all...it was rather a distance in him. I dare say it may have something to do with the death of his brother.’
‘Yes, I expect so,’ Lucy agreed. She’d thought Paul cold and reserved at first, but gradually he had become more like the man she’d known...though older, of course. Everyone had changed over the years.
Perhaps she expected too much in thinking he ought to be the lively, carefree man she’d once known.
‘I think he might make a pleasant husband for the right person,’ Judith went on. ‘However, I am not certain he would suit me, for I do not want to be buried in the country. I should need an assurance that he did not expect me to live at Ravenscar the whole time.’
‘Paul is determined to make his father’s estate prosper. I dare say he would be happy to visit London for the Season and an occasional visit to Bath or—’ She saw Judith’s expression. ‘You should not marry him if that is not your wish, Cousin.’
‘Perhaps I shall not,’ Judith replied, shrugging her shoulders. ‘As I said earlier, I have not yet decided. I may meet someone in Bath I like better...perhaps an older man. Captain Ravenscar is quite young.’
‘Yes, not much older than I am,’ Lucy said thoughtfully. ‘Yet he seems older...’
‘Yes, he has an air of distinction,’ Judith said. ‘It is his experience in the war and as one of Wellington’s aides, I dare say.’
‘Yes, perhaps,’ Lucy said, though she believed it was the terrible murder of his brother that had changed him from the daredevil prankster he’d been as a boy and a young man. He was certainly a man of the world now and must be admired wherever he went.
‘Well, I must see to my packing,’ Judith said. ‘I shall not take all my things with me. Some may remain here and be sent on when I decide where to reside. I shall buy new clothes in Bath, though I hope to visit Paris before too long.’
‘Will you take a companion?’
‘Only if I cannot find the right husband,’ Judith said and laughed. ‘Where is Lord Daventry? I thought he escorted you this morning?’
‘Yes, he did—but he went off to speak to Papa about something.’ Lucy arched her brow. ‘Did you wish to speak with him?’
‘Oh, no...nothing that will not keep,’ Judith said. ‘Excuse me, I must decide what I need to take with me.’
Lucy was a little puzzled by her cousin’s manner. She had quite thought Judith meant to have Paul if he asked her, but now she was not sure. Her cousin seemed to think that love mattered very little in the arrangement of a marriage, for if she loved Paul surely nothing else ought to matter.
If only Lucy could be as practical about her own marriage. She had thought she could when she spoke to her mother but now she had her doubts.
* * *
Lucy had finished sorting through her gowns and left the packing to her maid when she came back downstairs later that afternoon. She decided to sit in the garden for a while and went into the back parlour. The French windows were open and she could feel the warmth of the sunshine filtering into the house.
Stepping outside to the terrace, she made her way across the lawns towards the rose arbour. When she heard voices she stopped, listening. That was Judith’s voice and...yes, Lord Daventry. Their voices were raised, as if they were quarrelling.
‘Can you not forgive me for what happened so long ago?’ George was asking in an angry voice. ‘Had I known how you felt, I should never have left you so abruptly...you made me angry, Judith.’
‘We quarrelled,’ Judith replied. ‘You deserted me. I wept bitterly, but you did not write, nor did you return...and I had no choice but to marry Sir Michael. My father demanded it.’
‘His fortune was more than I could ever expect to enjoy at that time. I dare say it was not such a sacrifice for you...’
Even as Lucy hesitated she heard a cry of anger and then what sounded like a slap. Feeling guilty and embarrassed, she turned away and walked quickly to another part of the garden. She ought not to have listened to a private conversation. Yet had they kept their voices lower she would not have heard.
She frowned as she thought of what she had heard.
Judith had been quarrelling with Lord Daventry and it seemed it was not for the first time. Lucy was not sure what it all meant—had there been something more than a flirtation between her cousin and the earl in the past? Had Judith been in love with him?
Lucy was stunned, for she did not know what to think. Judith had said their past acquaintance had been slight, but it had not sounded that way to Lucy. Why would they be arguing in such a heated manner if they had not been more than friends?
She felt a little sick in her stomach, for if there was something between them...why had Judith not made it plain to her from the start?
Why would Daventry pay so much attention to Lucy if there were a long-standing affair between them? It could not but reflect badly on him and was surely reckless. She could see no reason for it—unless he wished to arouse Judith’s jealousy?
The thought stung Lucy, humiliating her and making her feel hot. She had been imagining that Daventry was thinking of making her an offer, but now it seemed that she had merely been his tool in making Judith notice him.
She felt angry and embarrassed, but not, she realised, broken-hearted. Her pride had received a knock, but her heart had always been protected.
Lucy wandered away deep into the garden. She was shivering, though the afternoon was very warm.
Why had Judith accused the earl of deserting her? It sounded like a serious matter and Lucy was shocked. Ought she to ask Judith what her feelings were towards the earl? She had warned Lucy of him, because she said he was a rake—had she good cause for her warning?
* * *
Lucy would have spoken to Judith that same evening, but there was never a chance to be alone with her, and, when the time came to retire, she had found herself quite unable to raise the subject
.
‘Goodnight, Cousin. Sleep well. The day after tomorrow we shall be in Bath.’
‘Yes, are you excited?’
‘I think so...a little.’
‘You should be, for I am certain you will make a stir,’ Judith said. ‘You will find yourself much admired, I believe. If I were you, Cousin, I should keep an open mind for a while.’
She was warning Lucy against Daventry!
Lucy thanked her and wished her goodnight again, for there was no way that she could ask her about her feelings for the earl after that. If something had happened before Judith’s marriage, it belonged in the past...and the confidence must come from Judith herself.
Lucy was thoughtful as she undressed. It seemed she’d been wrong in imagining that the earl’s attentions to her were more than mere flattery.
She had believed that he would make her an offer before too long had passed, but perhaps she had read too much into his compliments—and she was not the only one to do so.
He had been very particular in his attentions at her dance. Surely he would not have acted in such a way if it were her cousin he wanted? Lucy was puzzled by his behaviour—unless he hoped to torment Judith into breaking her silence? Lucy had noticed the reserve in her when the earl was present and he might have been driven to flirting with Lucy just to distress her cousin.
If that was the case, he was despicable! Yet he could be so charming and perhaps she was wrong to suspect him of such deceit.
Lucy sat at her window, looking out long after her maid had left her. She had no desire to sleep and felt more confused than ever. Perhaps the earl had come to her home with the intention of offering for her, but had met Judith and remembered that he had once cared for her. If that were the case, his behaviour might be excusable, though had Lucy fallen in love with him she must have been hurt.
However, Lucy would not wish him to feel that he must make her an offer. In fairness, she had only considered the idea because Paul had shown her that he no longer loved her—if he ever had.
She had thought the earl might suit her if she could not have the man she truly loved, but now made up her mind to draw back a little. In Bath she would meet many new friends and perhaps she might meet a gentleman who made her swoon with love for him. Otherwise, she might find herself upon the shelf, for she had met no one in Italy and there was certainly no one living close to her home she would wish to marry...other than Paul Ravenscar.
Paul, it seemed, was in need of a wife and Lucy was sure he was considering her cousin. Judith did not love him. Supposing he married her only to find that she did not care for him? Lucy found the idea distressing and her throat caught with tears. Paul had suffered enough; he deserved to be happy.
It was all such a muddle. Why did no one speak openly about their feelings?
Her heart told her that she still had deep feelings for Paul, but he appeared to like Judith more than he liked Lucy. Oh, yes, he was her friend and they had a long history of happy times in their childhood—but men looked elsewhere when they thought of marriage. Paul seemed to think the kind of marriage Judith wanted might suit him...for the sake of some heirs.
Lucy was aware of a curious pain about her heart. She wanted Paul to be happy when he married and she could have borne it had he married Judith, if she cared for him...but if she still had a feeling for Daventry...
Oh, it was all supposition and mystery! Lucy went to bed, wishing that she had not overheard those raised voices in the garden.
* * *
The journey to Bath was uneventful. Lucy could see nothing in George Daventry’s manner to show that he had changed his allegiance from her to Judith. He was scrupulously polite to them both, charming to everyone and especially to Lucy’s mama, making sure at every stop that all the ladies were comfortable.
Lord Dawlish had been glad to relinquish the chore of escorting his family to Bath, for he preferred a quiet life in the country. Lady Dawlish was grateful for the earl’s care of them and forever remarking to Lucy what beautiful manners he had and how considerate he was.
‘It is so comfortable to travel with a man of address,’ she told her travelling companions. ‘A servant will do what he can, but a man of the earl’s consequence can secure the best rooms with just a lift of his brow. What an admirable husband he will make some fortunate young lady.’
‘Yes, it has been a comfortable journey, Aunt,’ Judith said, looking thoughtful. ‘We have reason to be thankful to Daventry.’
The earl had chosen to ride beside their carriage, leaving more room for the ladies to sit as they wished. A heavy travelling coach lumbered behind with their baggage and maids, and Daventry’s groom was driving his chaise with his valet for company. They made an impressive show as they arrived at the various inns to change horses, choosing to spend the night in a large and busy one where the food was excellent. The ladies all had rooms in the quieter side of the house and were able to sleep tolerably well.
Because of the ease with which everything had been arranged they arrived in good time at the house Lord Dawlish had secured for them. A large end-of-terrace dwelling, it had several good bedrooms. The ladies had rooms on the first floor and the earl was given his choice of rooms on the top floor. Once all the baggage had been brought up to the various bedchambers, the arrivals were able to tidy themselves before taking refreshments in a large elegant parlour at the back of the house.
Daventry excused himself almost at once. ‘I shall make an exploration of the town,’ he said to them with his charming smile. ‘I wish to discover whether we have acquaintances in Bath and put our names down at the Assembly Hall so that the master of ceremonies expects us at the next ball.’
‘We shall not go to an assembly for three days,’ Lady Dawlish told him. ‘We must all have new gowns and accustom ourselves to our surroundings first—but we might go to the theatre tomorrow evening.’
‘I shall secure a box,’ Daventry promised and went off, leaving the ladies to explore the house, and the two younger ones to take the opportunity for a walk after nuncheon while Lady Dawlish had a little rest on her bed.
‘How pleasant it is to be in Bath again,’ Judith said as they strolled away from the Crescent. ‘I think if one were forced to live alone with a companion, it might be the very place.’
‘But you do not truly consider it?’ Lucy asked.
‘I shall marry if the right offer comes my way,’ Judith replied, her eyes sparkling. She nodded to a matronly lady and her daughter as they passed. ‘The Standish family is here then. I knew them well once...’
‘Tell me...’ Lucy took a deep breath. ‘What does Lord Daventry mean to you, Cousin?’
‘Why do you ask?’ Judith said, her manner suddenly alert. ‘Has he said something to you?’
‘Nothing... I heard you speaking with him in the garden the day before we left home. I thought you seemed angry, though I heard only a few words.’
‘Well, I had best be plain with you, Cousin,’ Judith said. ‘I have reason to be angry with him. I was barely seventeen when we met and...I lost my heart to him for he flirted with me outrageously. I had not then been out in society and I thought he cared for me...that he meant to offer for me...but then he left me without even a word to say where he meant to go.’
‘Oh...I am sorry he mistreated you,’ Lucy said. ‘It was cruel of him. Do you still feel something for him?’
‘No, nothing,’ Judith replied. ‘I married Sir Michael and forgot him. What you heard was a quarrel between us. I fear I demanded to know if he intended to behave properly towards you and he asked me what business it was of mine. It led to recriminations...but then he apologised and we made up our quarrel.’
‘I see...’ Lucy saw that it had cost her cousin to speak calmly. ‘Were you much hurt when he deserted you?’
‘More than I can tell you,’ Judith said. ‘In
deed, he did me a wrong, Lucy, for we had been seen kissing and there was gossip, which led to some loss of reputation for me...but he has explained to me why he left without a word and I think it best forgot.’
‘I am glad if he was able to explain things to your satisfaction, but I still think him careless to abandon you, especially if he had exposed you to gossip. He should not have aroused expectations in your mind if he did not intend—’ Lucy broke off and blushed. ‘Forgive me. It is not my affair.’
‘You have a right to know, for you think of him as a possible husband,’ Judith said seriously. ‘Apparently, he was called away to his uncle’s side. He left a letter for me, but I did not receive it. I think my father might have destroyed it. Papa did not approve of George Staples, as he was then. He had not then become the earl, you see, and if his cousin had not died of a fever, still unwed, before his father died, he would not have inherited the estate.’
‘He was not wealthy, then?’
‘No. He had very little but a career as a professional soldier.’
‘Your father wished you to be secure?’
‘Sir Michael had asked for me and, because he was rich, my father persuaded me to accept him.’ Judith’s face was pale, her hands trembling a little. ‘He was kind to me and I did not regret my decision, although I never loved him. We were happy enough in our way and I mourned him sincerely when he died.’
‘But you are free now... Would you not wish to marry the earl if he asked you?’
‘I am not sure that I should. I have changed,’ Judith said. ‘When I first saw him again my first thought was to warn you—but it was unfair of me if he cares for you. If you are satisfied to be his wife, you should accept his offer.’
‘Daventry is charming and thoughtful,’ Lucy replied. ‘Yet I cannot but think it was wrong of him to desert you—but if he claims to have left you a letter... Are you certain he does not still care for you?’
‘I do not think he cares for me, though I dare say he likes my fortune—’ Judith broke off with a conscious look. ‘Perhaps I wrong him... Ah, here comes a gentleman I know.’ She smiled as a gentleman came up to them and bowed.
