Drawn to Lord Ravenscar

by Anne Herries

  ‘I was still feeling uncomfortable with the situation, Lucy,’ Paul said. ‘You should have been Mark’s bride had he not been murdered.’

  ‘Yes...though had he lived...forgive me, I might not have been.’

  ‘Were you ever in love with him?’ Paul’s eyes were intent on her face.

  ‘No, I do not think I was ever in love before...’ She faltered. ‘I loved Mark as a friend, worshipped him as a hero and—and thought that was enough...until...’

  ‘Until what, Lucy?’

  ‘Why are you happy to marry me?’ she asked, unwilling to confess all without some statement of his feelings. ‘I thought you felt guilty because of Mark?’

  ‘I did for a long time,’ Paul said and frowned. ‘Then a letter came and what I discovered made me realise...’ He drew in his breath. ‘I hope it will not hurt you or change your opinion of my brother... Mark was a hero, Lucy—but he should not have asked you to marry him, for he had a lover and she bore him a child.’

  Lucy stared at him. ‘I thought there was something... Did he love her? Was she—was she a lady?’

  ‘Her father was a younger son with no fortune. Rosalind tells me that they were in love. She says he had promised to wed her, though she was not his equal. She was the daughter of a regimental parson and followed the drum with us in Spain.’

  Paul stood up and paced the floor, then turned to look at her. ‘When we marched into France she was left behind because she was heavy with child. I knew that she had been Mark’s lover, but I did not know his intentions towards her. When I asked, he told me it was not my affair.’

  ‘I see...’ Lucy said doubtfully. ‘Do you believe her when she says he promised to wed her?’

  ‘She was not of his class, but she was not a woman of the street,’ Paul said. ‘I can only think she believed it to be the case...and I cannot understand why he came home after the victory in France and proposed to you, Lucy.’

  ‘It was not well done...if he had promised to wed her. Does your father know of her and her child?’

  ‘Yes, I thought it best to tell him he had a granddaughter, for I have no reason to disbelieve her.’

  ‘Was he pleased or angry?’

  ‘At first he was a little angry, but then he asked to see her...that was the reason I was delayed coming here. Now that he has seen the child he believes she is Mark’s, and he means to do something for them.’

  ‘I am glad. I cannot understand why he behaved in a way that seems dishonourable.’

  ‘Nor could I until I came across a letter in his things,’ Paul said. ‘I think that he believed she had died in childbed and the babe with her...soon after we crossed into France.’

  ‘So he proposed to me believing his lover was dead...’

  ‘Yes—and then he received a letter from France, where she had gone looking for him.’

  ‘I noticed a change in him just before we were due to have our engagement ball.’ Lucy was thoughtful. ‘He could not in all honour jilt me—and yet it was she whom he loved.’

  ‘I am so sorry,’ Paul said. ‘I hope this does not hurt you terribly—but I thought you should know the truth.’

  ‘I am glad you have told me,’ Lucy said, but she was looking up at him, searching his face. ‘Is that why you feel obliged to marry me, Paul? I thought it might be because Mama had pushed you into it, but—’

  ‘No, of course it isn’t my reason for asking you to marry me...which I do not believe I actually did, Lucy. So much seems to have happened and I never made you an offer...did I?’

  There was humour in his eyes as he came to the bed and sat on the edge. She looked up at him shyly as he took her hand.

  ‘I thought you were angry with me, because of Mr Havers. He intended to make me an offer, Paul, but...I did not give him hope. I know you must think me a terrible flirt.’

  ‘Have I said as much?’ He laughed as she opened her eyes at him. ‘I was surprised to walk in on you like that, because I thought I might have misjudged the situation. I believed we had an agreement when I left you the previous night, Lucy.’

  ‘Yes, so did I,’ she agreed. ‘But I could hardly tell him and he seemed to be so earnest. I did not wish to hurt...but I should have refused him had he asked. He was merely preparing the way.’

  ‘And I upset you by questioning you? Can you ever forgive me, my love?’

  ‘Yes, I was distressed,’ Lucy said, her cheeks warm as she looked up at him. ‘I thought I had given you a disgust of me...and Mama told Elver and Judith that we were engaged...putting you in an insidious position. How could you withdraw after that without causing more scandal? I knew you could not.’

  ‘Lucy, my foolish little love,’ Paul said and captured her restless hand as it moved on the bedclothes. ‘Surely you must know that I—’

  ‘Captain Ravenscar...’ Lady Dawlish interrupted from the doorway. ‘While I understand your feelings, I must remind you that you are not yet married. Your being here alone in my daughter’s bedchamber is not quite proper. Last night when she was so unwell I overlooked it, but I do not think you should make a habit of it.’

  ‘Please, Mama,’ Lucy begged. ‘Do not send him away. We have had so little time to talk—and I need him here. If he cannot stay, I shall get up and come down.’

  ‘No, you will not,’ Paul said and gave her a firm look. ‘You will rest today or you will not be fit to attend the wedding tomorrow. I shall go away now and perhaps Judith will visit with me next time.’

  ‘Oh, you need not go away if Lucy is distressed,’ her mother said. ‘It is not quite proper, but with everything that has happened of late, I shall be glad to see her happy again. Your wedding cannot come soon enough for me.’

  ‘Mama,’ Lucy cried. ‘Paul has not been able to propose to me properly yet. If you would go away and stop fussing, perhaps he could do so. If I have a reputation to guard, I assure you that Paul will do nothing to besmirch it.’

  ‘Oh, I see.’ Lady Dawlish laughed. ‘In that case, I must oblige you both. I shall return later and I shall expect to see you wearing a ring.’

  She went to the door and looked back with an arch smile. Lucy shook her head as she closed the door behind her.

  ‘Forgive her, Paul. She is very anxious for me to be married and happy, because of what happened before.’

  ‘That is only natural,’ he said and returned to his place on the side of her bed. ‘This is not the most romantic of settings...but I hope that you will do me the honour of becoming my wife...and I very much hope that will make you as happy as I shall be, if you say yes.’

  Lucy laughed, looking up at him with her heart in her eyes. ‘Of course I shall say yes—what else could I do?’

  ‘But will it make you happy?’ he asked as he took her hand once more.

  ‘Very happy,’ Lucy replied.

  ‘Then I hope this ring will please you,’ he said and slid a diamond ring with several large stones in the form of a daisy on to the third finger of her left hand. ‘I thought it was pretty—and there are so many heirlooms waiting for you, my love—but I wanted you to have something different, something just for you.’

  ‘It is beautiful,’ Lucy said as she looked at the lovely ring sparkling on her finger. ‘I love it and I shall wear it with pride.’

  ‘How soon will you marry me, dearest? My father hopes it will be soon, but if you wish for a longer engagement...’

  ‘I would marry you tomorrow if I could be sure of walking down the aisle without fainting,’ Lucy said. ‘We must let Judith have her wedding first and then...we shall go back to Ravenscar and make the arrangements. Do you think we might have the ceremony at your home so that your father may witness it?’

  ‘He tells me that he will come to the church if need be,’ Paul said. ‘But I see no reason why we should not use the old chapel. It has
not been used for a wedding for years, but we still worship there sometimes—when a visiting chaplain will oblige. It is just like you to think of it, Lucy—and it will please my father no end...’

  ‘Then that is what we shall do.’

  Lucy lay back against her pillows with a sigh. ‘I am satisfied, but now I really think I should rest if I am to attend Judith’s wedding tomorrow.’

  ‘Yes, my love, you should certainly rest. I shall visit you again later if your mama will permit me—and if she will not, I shall come after she is in bed.’

  Paul bent his head to kiss her lightly on the lips and then left her to sleep.

  Chapter Fourteen

  ‘Judith made a very pretty bride, did she not?’ Lucy said to Paul as they walked in the cool of the gardens later that evening, when most of the guests had gone. ‘Elver is taking her to Paris to buy her bride clothes, for he would not allow her to visit London before the wedding.’

  ‘Well, she need have no fear now,’ Paul replied and looked down at her. ‘Your cousin is safe and happily married—and we can move on. We should begin to think about our own wedding, Lucy. In the morning we shall all return to our homes. Father will wish to speak with you. I think he hopes we shall make our home with him.’

  ‘Yes, of course. Where else would we wish to be?’ Lucy asked. ‘I am very fond of your papa and should wish to see him comfortable and happy.’

  ‘You do not long for a house of your own? I do have other estates, where we might reside for some of the time.’

  ‘Ravenscar is a beautiful house. I have always felt at home there, Paul. I visited so often as a child; if I was not at your house, you were at mine. Mama will enjoy having me close enough to visit when she chooses.’

  ‘Then I am satisfied. I did not wish you to think that you had no choice.’

  They had stopped walking. Paul gazed down into her face, drawing her close to kiss her softly on the lips; he stroked her cheek with the tips of his fingers.

  ‘As far as I am concerned, our marriage cannot be soon enough,’ he murmured and held her pressed so tight against him that she felt the urgent need in him. ‘When shall we be wed, Lucy my love?’

  ‘As soon as the banns may be called,’ she replied, her eyes warm and tender as she returned his urgent look. ‘It seems such a long time since I first realised that I cared for you in this way, Paul. I think because we were always friends, I saw you almost as a brother—and then, quite suddenly, it all changed.’

  ‘When we danced at that ball?’ Paul asked, his fingers caressing her nape. ‘Before that I knew you were special to me, that you were the girl I wanted for my wife, but I did not know until that moment how much I loved you.’

  ‘So much time wasted,’ Lucy said on a sigh. ‘We must not waste another moment, Paul. You must set the banns as soon as we return home.’

  * * *

  ‘You look so lovely, my darling,’ Lady Dawlish said when she entered Lucy’s bedchamber that morning in August and saw her dressed in her gown of white-silk tulle, which sparkled with silver embroidery and tiny diamonds. ‘Such a beautiful bride...’

  Lucy laughed softly as she saw her mama sniff into the pretty lace kerchief she carried. The mother of the bride was dressed in shades of lilac and looked very attractive herself, a spray of pale-pink roses pinned to her bodice.

  ‘Thank you, Mama,’ Lucy said. ‘Did you see this wonderful string of pearls Lord Ravenscar sent me? It has a diamond clasp that you can wear at the front if you wish. Paul sent me these earrings and a bracelet to match. Was that not thoughtful of them both?’

  ‘I expected no less,’ her mama said and nodded in a satisfied way. ‘I am convinced that they will spoil you, my love. Lord Ravenscar told me how pleased he was that you would be his daughter-in-law.’

  ‘Yes, I dare say they may spoil me, for already I dare not say I like something or it is instantly mine,’ Lucy replied with a laugh. ‘I was a little anxious lest Paul’s father should become ill again, but the prospect of our wedding seems to have revived him. The doctor has warned us that he will be up and down for the rest of his life, but our wedding has given him such happiness. I believe he means to live until we have given him an heir.’

  ‘Yes, I imagine it might.’ Lady Dawlish frowned. ‘Do you mind that he has asked that woman to live on the estate with her daughter?’

  ‘You mean Rosalind Fullerton and little Lizzie?’ Lucy shook her head serenely. ‘Mark did not marry her when they were in Spain, which was remiss of him. If he promised her marriage, he should have kept his word. It was not well done of him, Mama—and he should not have asked me to marry him.’

  ‘What I do not understand is why he proposed to you if—if he loved this woman.’

  ‘I am sure he intended to marry her, but she was left behind when the army made a push into France. She was close to giving birth and they thought she would be better resting in a house they had hired. We are not sure what happened, but we believe that Mark must have been told that both she and her child had died of a fever. I believe it was in an effort to forget her and to put the past behind him that he proposed to me.’

  ‘Well, really, it was too bad of him,’ Lady Dawlish said. ‘If he had not been so thoughtless, he might have spared you so much pain.’

  ‘Yes,’ Lucy agreed. ‘I sensed a change in him just before he died, Mama—and I believe he’d learned that Rosalind was still alive. He did not know how to tell me, for a gentleman cannot withdraw—but if I had told him of my doubts, he would have spoken I am sure. If only he had not been murdered, all might have been settled years since.’

  ‘Well, I suppose it hardly matters now,’ her mama said. ‘You are happy now, my love—and that is all that matters to me.’

  ‘Thank you, Mama,’ Lucy said and looked towards the door as someone knocked and then entered. ‘Judith, you have arrived in time. I was afraid that you might not.’

  ‘We were not sure we could get a passage in time,’ Judith said and came to embrace her. ‘But, as I told Elver, I must get here somehow. We came over on a merchant ship, which was not particularly comfortable, but the crossing was fair and here we are.’

  Lucy hugged her. ‘I am so pleased you are here, Cousin. Tell me, are you happy?’

  ‘I shall leave you to talk,’ Lady Dawlish said, looking from one to the other. ‘You must both be ready in half an hour so do not forget.’

  Lucy looked at Judith’s face as the door closed behind her mother. ‘Tell me truly, my love—is all well with you?’

  ‘Very much so,’ Judith replied. ‘Elver is determined to spoil me, but I do not mind it, because I love him...Yes, truly, it is so, Lucy. Even when I took him I was not sure, but I know now that I could not have chosen better. I feel so lucky to be alive—and much of that is due to you, Cousin.’

  ‘I did very little...it was just a push...’

  ‘But that was not all. You saved my life twice. If you had not realised something was wrong the night I was abducted, I might have died before anyone found me.’

  ‘Well, you did not,’ Lucy said. ‘We shall not think of it again, Judith. Your gown is waiting in your room; you must change, while my maid finishes putting up my hair, for I do not wish to keep Paul waiting.’

  * * *

  Paul turned to look as the music started. The bride was fashionably late, but only by a few minutes, and to his mind she was worth every second he had waited...including the years of desperate longing when he had thought she was beyond his reach.

  He smiled as she came to stand beside him, the delicate scent of her perfume arousing his senses so that he longed to take her in his arms and kiss her. Lucy’s face was visible through the fine veil she wore over her pale-pink satin bonnet. The veil had threads of silver and was trimmed with deep-pink roses, which matched the posy of roses that she carried. They were
tied with silver ribbons, the pink of her bonnet the only touch of colour about her.

  She looked young and innocent, which he knew her to be, and the thought of teaching his lovely young wife the pleasures of love were uppermost in his mind as he thought of the coming night.

  How often he had lain in a lonely bed and wished that she were by his side. For a long time he had believed that his desires were foolish and forced himself to forget the need she had aroused in him, but now his dream was about to be realised and the love swelled in his breast as he looked at her with pride.

  She was the woman he had loved all his life, for years as a playmate and a friend, and she would continue to be his friend throughout their lives because they had always thought so much alike.

  The vicar had begun to intone the marriage service. Paul gave his answers in a clear voice that carried, as did she. Then he lifted the veil and looked down at her sweet face, kissing her softly on the mouth.

  ‘I now pronounce you man and wife...’

  Taking his lady by the hand, Paul led her first to the high altar and then to the vestry to sign the register. Then they were arm in arm and walking from the chapel to the sound of bells ringing out joyously. In the distance the church bells had also begun, a tribute from the village to the marriage of a popular young couple.

  Outside in the sunshine, Paul glanced down at his wife, his right eyebrow arching. ‘Good morning, Mrs Ravenscar,’ he said, a teasing smile on his lips. ‘I trust you are happy, for it is too late to change your mind now—what is mine is mine.’

  Lucy laughed, for she knew he was teasing her in his old way—the way he had teased her all their lives. Sometimes she had been cross with him when they were children playing; she would strike his chest and he would pull her hair, but the bond between them had always been there as they followed their leader and basked in his glory.

  Now Lucy knew that she had always been his. Her foolish heart had betrayed her for a short time, but she had soon come to realise that it was Paul she loved.

  ‘It is all I wish to be,’ she said and took his hand.