Leavin' It All Behind

by Ginna Wilkerson

  * * * *

  At Savannah’s insistence, Duckie pulls into a jiffy store parking lot and checks for car damage. One headlight cover’s busted, the cracked plastic dangling down over the bumper. This sends Savannah into a panic. She paces back and forth. A young man getting gas stares over at them.

  “Jesus Christ, Duckie! Part of Bruce’s body broke the fuckin’ headlight! Shit! Why didn’t you see him?!”

  Duckie takes offense at this. “Hey, you were in the car, too. He’s your asshole husband!”

  “What’s that supposed to mean? I’m responsible because he’s my problem?”

  Duckie sees that her girlfriend is really upset. They need to get on the road, and Van has to calm down enough for them to pick up Serena and the kids.

  “Okay, look. Please calm down. I’m not sayin’ anything is your fault. It was an accident, that’s all. And we don’t know—maybe he’s fine—just a scratch…”

  Savannah looks at Duckie with hysteria on her face. “A scratch! Some part of the poor man’s body shattered the headlight cover. It’s my car, too—and now I’m leavin’ him. I feel like a crazy woman on that TV show Snapped. Everyone’ll think I—hurt him—on purpose.”

  Duckie finally succeeds in getting Savannah back into the car. She takes Van’s hand. “Now look, baby. We don’t know anything about whatever happened to Bruce. We didn’t see anyone else we even know at Mickey D’s. And we’re outta here as soon as we pick up Serena. It’s all okay.”

  Chapter 8: Hittin’ the Road

  Savannah manages to pull herself together enough to get over to Serena’s house. Duckie stays quiet, not wanting to upset Van, who’s still on the edge of panic. The headlight cover is no longer dangling down in an obvious way; Duckie had cleverly secured it, at least temporarily, with duct tape they bought at the Jiffy Store.

  They get to Serena’s place safely, pulling into the gravel driveway. Serena’s waiting on the front stoop, holding Panda.

  Both Savannah and Duckie are more anxious than ever to see Abilene in the rearview mirror, but Serena is having second thoughts.

  “Hey. Are we really goin’? I’m nervous, just a little.”

  Savannah steps out of the car and grabs her little sister in a hug, for the moment forgetting all about the accident and the busted headlight.

  “Serena—we can do this—you can do this. It’s time.”

  Duckie pats Serena on the back. Serena’s face relaxes just a bit, and she goes inside to get Pony and their belongings.

  It takes a while to load everything in Savannah’s car, rearranging stuff and setting up the car seats for Pony and Panda. After about an hour, they finally get suitcases, kids, and cooler wedged into Savannah’s car. As soon as Panda is strapped into her car seat, the hiccups start. Serena takes this as an omen.

  “Van, I’m scared. I just can’t believe I’ll really get away.”

  Before either of the older women can answer, the sound of Cody’s truck rumbles into the driveway. Savannah and Duckie look at each other in consternation.

  All three women are standing there by the loaded car as Cody jumps from the truck and stalks toward them.

  “What the fuck’s goin’ on here? Where are you bitches goin’ with my kids?!”

  Duckie, as the more neutral party, attempts to serve as a buffer.

  “Hey, dude—stay cool, yeah? You left Serena. Now she just wants a chance at a new start…” Duckie takes a step toward Serena, hoping to cool things down.

  Cody explodes. “What are you even doin’ here, dyke? How is this any of your damned business?”

  To her credit, Duckie takes a deep breath, refusing to take this outburst personally.

  “Look, man. Sometimes things just don’t work out. No blame—just what has to happen. Let Serena go with us. It’ll be okay.”

  Cody’s confused thoughts are blazoned across his young face. He wants his freedom, but is obviously feeling the humiliation of failure. Finally, he stalks to the front porch, motioning his wife to follow. Serena goes, first looking back at her big sister for assurance.

  After a brief conversation, Cody walks out to his truck without another word and drives away. Serena then joins the group waiting at the car. With tears running down her cheeks, the young mom climbs silently into the backseat of the car next to her kids.

  Duckie grabs Savannah’s hand and squeezes it, then the two get into the front seat and buckle up for a new chapter in life. For everyone in that car.

  * * * *

  Heading down I-20 toward the junction with I-10, the car full of fugitives is noisy. The babies are fussy, and Panda’s hiccups keep up a continuous pop of air in spite of everything Serena tries. Savannah’s head aches, and she turns up the radio to drown out the noise from the backseat.

  Kenny Chesney’s “Bar at the End of the World” fills the car. Duckie looks over at Savannah; when their eyes meet, they both burst into laughter.

  “Now that’s where we should go tonight, girls,” says Duckie. Serena giggles in spite of herself. The mood in the car lightens up just a hair.

  They all breathe a sigh of relief as little Panda’s hiccups subside and her head nods in sleep. Pony soon follows his sister, and Serena takes this chance to open up an “adult” conversation.

  “Hey, Van. Where exactly are we goin’? I mean, where will we be tonight?”

  Savannah looks over at Duckie, a question in her eyes. She hesitates to say anything without being sure.

  Duckie clears her throat and then speaks, keeping her eyes on the road but obviously addressing Serena.

  “Okay, well—I think we should make Tyler by tonight, or maybe Longview.”

  Serena doesn’t answer right away.

  Duckie adds, “Do you have any cash, honey? For a hotel room, I mean.”

  More silence.

  Savannah speaks up, “If not, it’s okay, Sissy. We’ll figure it out.”

  “No, I do. Have some money, I mean. I took all the money we had in our savings.”

  Savannah looks back at her sister in surprise and admiration.

  “Well, I figured we deserved it. After all, these are his kids, and he basically abandoned us, right?”

  “Of course,” says Duckie. “Don’t you dare feel guilty for one second. We’re proud of you for standing up and takin’ care of your kiddos.”

  For answer, Serena reaches up to pat Duckie on the shoulder. “Thanks, guys. I really appreciate everything you’re doin’.”

  The car is silent for a while then, as they move steadily west.

  About an hour after that, just as they approach the outskirts of Tyler, Texas, Savannah notices a car following close behind. She says nothing, not wanting to worry the others. There’s something familiar about the driver, although he’s not someone she can identify.

  She decides not to say anything to the others—at least, not for now. It’s probably nothin’ anyway.

  It takes no time at all to find a Motel 6 and check in. Serena insists on paying for a second room for herself and the kids. Savannah would never have asked her to do that, but she and Duckie both breathe a silent sigh of relief. Three women and two babies is a lot for one small hotel room. And now the two older women can have some privacy.

  After they help Serena, Pony, and Panda get settled in their room, Duckie and Savannah head to their own room down the dimly-lit corridor. The room smells a bit musty, but mostly clean—at least okay for one night. Duckie breaks out a bottle of Jack Daniels and holds it up with a grin.

  “Time to relax for a bit, baby!”

  Savannah grabs the ice bucket and heads down the hall. As she passes Serena’s room, she can hear the shower running and the TV blaring. For a brief instant, she feels guilty not helpin’ her Sissy more with the kids. But she can’t come to Serena’s rescue every time—and she really needs some time with Duckie after the stress of the past couple days.

  By the time Savannah gets back with the ice, Duckie is in her usual nighttime attire: men’s pajama pant
s and a tank top. Savannah loves this look.

  “Hey, there—aren’t you adorable.”

  Duckie comes over to kiss her, saying, “Thanks, baby. Why don’t you get comfortable and I’ll fix those drinks.”

  Savannah heads for her suitcase and then for the tiny shower. Not that she’s a fanatic about it or anything, but sex always feels better clean. And tonight Van feels like the dust of the road, baby puke, and Abilene itself all need a good washin’ away.

  Chapter 9: Late Night Surprise

  Duckie reaches over the sleeping Savannah to flick on the bedside light. Her girlfriend stirs in her sleep, but doesn’t open her eyes. Swell. Time for me to check things out.

  Duckie is a light sleeper, especially after really good sex. Her body feels alive long after, and her brain races right along with it. Van is literally passed out, but Duckie has heard the noise clearly.

  Two voices outside their door. Two male voices, deep in conversation.

  She grabs her duffel bag, which holds a small pistol. Legal, of course. She had jumped through all the hoops to get a permit, and has carried the weapon since she started the affair with Savannah—”just in case.”

  The voices are still there. Louder now, like an argument. Duckie creeps up to the side of the door, pistol at the ready. Whoever is out there hasn’t even touched the door, though, and she sure doesn’t want an accidental shooting on her hands on top of all the other shit!

  She decides to wake up Van—maybe it’s safer not to surprise her with whatever’s about to happen. They’d all had enough excitement for one day, that’s for sure. Duckie goes back to the sleeping Savannah and shakes her gently by the shoulder.

  “Baby, wake up. It’s okay. Just be quiet.” Savannah blinks her eyes in confusion, then shakes her head as if to clear the cobwebs.

  “Duckie? What the hell?”

  Duckie put a finger to her lips to signal quiet. “Just wake up, please…somebody’s out there. I didn’t want to surprise you, that’s all.”

  At that moment, Savannah notices the pistol in her girlfriend’s hand.

  “What? What the…? And then: “what should we do?”

  “Nothin’ right now. I’m ready. Just wait and listen.”

  Both women then go to the side of the doorway. The men, whoever they are, have stopped talking—maybe they left.

  Then Duckie motions again for silence. They can both hear a shuffling sound, as if someone’s rummaging in some packages or luggage. Then one set of footsteps heads down the corridor. The other soon follows, but not before Savannah clearly hears the voice of Cody Simpkins saying, “Hold up, bro—right behind you. She’s gotta be here somewhere.”

  Savannah mouths the words toward Duckie, Goddamn it! That asshole found her—us. What should we do?

  By now Cody and whoever is with him have moved away down the hall. Duckie sets her gun down, and pulls Savannah down to sit on the side of the bed.

  “Okay, look. He’s lookin’ for Serena for sure. But there’s no way the front desk would tell him which room she’s in. He’s probably just cruisin’ the halls listenin’ for one of them babies to make noise.”

  Savannah nods silently.

  “So I think we should stay put and call Serena, yeah?”

  “I’ll call.” And Van grabs her phone from the bedside table. Seeing the tube of lube there, she’s reminded that just a while ago, this night was goin’ pretty well.

  * * * *

  Pony stirs restlessly in the bed, unused to sleeping anywhere but his own crib. Thankfully, Panda seems totally content in the ratty-looking crib provided by the hotel. Serena sits by Pony, rubbing his tiny back and humming to calm him.

  Her phone rings—she grabs it quickly so the noise doesn’t further disturb little Pony.

  “Hey, Sissy.”

  “Hey. Are you okay?” Serena knows her sister is a sound sleeper, and is never awake in the wee hours of the morning.

  “Yeah, fine. It’s you I’m worried about.” A long pause. “Cody’s here.”

  “What?!”

  “Shh, Sissy. Maybe he can’t find you if you don’t give yourself away.”

  “But does he have any power here? I mean, can he take the kids?”

  I don’t think so—I seem to remember somethin’ about whoever leaves the home officially abandons the kids. But I’m not sure. He can cause a big ruckus about it, I know that much.”

  Panda suddenly sits up and begins to fuss. Before Serena can get to the crib and pick her up, Pony wakes up, too. Serena prays he won’t do the night terrors thing.

  Savannah obviously heard the noise, as her knock sounds on the door shortly after. Serena, holding Panda, lets her sister in quietly. No sign of Cody and friend in the hall.

  “Want me to take Pony?” Savannah whispers. Serena motions to him in silence.

  Van picks the little guy up gently, crooning, “Come on, Pony Boy. Aunt Van’s gotcha.” He settles quickly into her arms and she begins walking slowly back and forth with her little nephew.

  Just as things are starting to calm down in Serena’s room, there’s a loud knock at the door. Serena and Savannah both jump in surprise, and Panda kicks in with her hiccups. Pony wails in terror.

  From outside comes Cody’s voice, “Open up, Serena. Bitch! I know you’re in there. You took my kids from me!” He sounds like he’s been drowning his sorrows somewhere earlier that night.

  Serena looks at her sister in panic. Savannah motions for her to take Panda and go in the bathroom. Then she goes to the door and speaks through it.

  “Cody Simpkins. You hear me? This is Savannah. You got no business here tonight.”

  More pounding. “That’s my wife and my family. Mind your own business, dyke!”

  By now Pony is near hysterical crying. Savannah tries a new tactic.

  “Look, Cody. I know you have a right to see your kids. If you promise to stay calm, I’ll open the door. No funny stuff.” And she slowly opens the door.

  Chapter 10: What Happens Next

  Cody stalks into the room, taking in the scene. Serena appears in the bathroom doorway, holding Panda close. Serena sets her down in the crib. Pony reaches out for his daddy.

  Cody’s face changes as he takes his son, “Hey, there’s my Pony-Boy. Don’t worry, Daddy got your back, little dude.”

  In spite of her fatigue and surprise, Serena manages to take advantage of this softness in Cody’s mood. She comes up close to her husband and touches his arm.

  “Cody, Honey. I know you love the kids. Pony couldn’t stand to be without you. He’s your boy.”

  Savannah gazes at her sister in admiration. Quick thinking, Serena!

  Cody speaks to his wife, “I don’t wanna lose him, Serena.” Then, almost as an afterthought, “Or Panda.”

  Serena is savvy enough not to call attention to this difference in Cody’s interest in his children. All she really wants is a new start. And not to lose her kids altogether.

  Just then, there’s another knock at the door.

  “Come in,” calls Cody, as if it’s his room. Serena shoots him a look filled with daggers, but Savannah motions for her to keep her mouth shut. Then she goes to the door.

  It’s Duckie, red hair a curly mess and a worried look on her face.

  “What’s g…” Then she spots Cody holding the sleepy Pony. Duckie looks like her mind’s racing to process this development. She had made the wise decision to leave her weapon out of the dodgy situation.

  So, what’s happenin’? Cody?”

  Cody turns to Duckie, setting Pony down on the nearby dresser as if getting him out of the way of a fight.

  “What the fuck are you doing here, hey?! You have no business around my kids or my wife.”

  Serena moves closer to Pony to take him off the high dresser. Fear and fatigue fight in her expression.

  With no warning, Cody grabs a glass of water sitting on the dresser and hurls it at Duckie. All three women scream and Duckie moves agilely out of the way. The glass hits
the wall by the door, crashing in a shower of broken glass. Panda starts crying and hiccupping all at once, and Duckie lunges forward to get between Cody and Serena.

  Cody’s momentary softness has flown away, alcohol and anger taking over. He yells, “All you bitches better get outta my way! I’m takin’ my son here and goin’ back to Abilene. And you can’t stop me!”

  Serena is now crying openly, and Pony, still standing on the dresser, reaches out for her.

  And that’s when it happens. The little fellow’s foot slips over the edge of the dresser, and down he goes.

  His squirming body seems to move in surreally slow motion. Serena and Cody both move to catch their son. Duckie grabs Savannah, stopping her from going after Cody with clenched fists. Panda cries ever more loudly, pressing her red face against the bars of the crib.

  Little Pony lands awkwardly on the carpeted floor, barely missing the sharp edge of the bed frame.

  “Oh, my God!” shrieks Serena. “Pony!”

  The toddler lies still for one breathless moment, then breaks into high-pitched shrieks of pain. Duckie is the first of the adults to get a grip and go to his side. The first thing she sees is the tiny wrist of her girlfriend’s nephew, with a sharp white bone poking out. The little guy hits hysteria in a heartbeat, staring at his own wrist in terror. He scrambles up and holds out his bleeding wound, crying for his mommy.

  Serena goes to her son, but Duckie scoops him up before Serena knows what happened. Savannah grabs the bedspread off the bed and wraps him in it, while Duckie runs to the bathroom to get towels. Serena and Cody stare at each other in horror, Cody rooted to the spot where, just a few minutes earlier, he had made his speech of rash bravado.

  Savannah says to her sister, “Serena, stay calm. That’s the best thing you can do for Pony.” Pony is calming down a notch wrapped in the blanket and held in his aunt’s strong arms.

  Duckie arrives from the bathroom and pulls the blanket back from Pony’s arm, wrapping his injured wrist in a towel. Blood still pours out, reddening the towel and the blanket. The little boy’s face is pale and his breathing seems weird.