My Way

by Moana Hope

  ‘These are massive TV numbers, and beyond our expectations. It is thrilling for the AFL and our women players,’ McLachlan said in a statement on Sunday.

  ‘The 6365 crowd at Whitten Oval and the TV viewers watched a fast, skilful and ferocious brand of football, and the women provided a great taste of what’s to come when the national league begins in 2017.’

  The match also took social media by storm with #AFLWomensGame peaking as Twitter’s seventh top trend worldwide on Saturday night.

  This was the line that I loved reading over and over again: ‘It was the largest overall average audience in Melbourne of any game during the 2016 home and away season.’ Ten years before, I could never have imagined that something like this would happen.

  The huge ratings numbers ignited a lot of discussion in the media about whether the players in the AFL Women’s competition were going to be paid enough. The AFL had offered a deal of $25,000 for marquee players, $10,000 for priority signings and $5000 for other listed players. Health insurance was not part of the deal, and there was no commitment to ensure that the players in the women’s competition would be provided with footy boots and runners by their clubs, even though that’s what the men’s contracts stipulate they are entitled to.

  To be honest, I wasn’t that fazed by the pay situation. People kept coming up to me and saying, ‘Oh, but you should be getting paid much more if you get to play in the AFL Women’s.’ But the way I looked at it was completely different from how everyone else did. My point was that when the men first started they didn’t get that much money. They got bugger all. They had to build things up over time. But even when I said that, people wouldn’t listen. They were saying, ‘Gillon McLachlan is ripping you off. He’s got all these sponsors on board and he’s not giving you your share.’ Some women even started social media campaigns to try to get more money for the players in the AFL Women’s comp.

  I appreciated the efforts of those people who wanted to support us and get us more money, but whenever anyone would listen I told them this: the AFL is allowing us to live our dream by bringing the competition forward by three years. Plus, we are only playing eight rounds, plus finals. Plus, right now we are paying fees to play. So we are going from paying fees to getting paid. It’s a massive step up.

  I asked Nicole Graves her thoughts on the pay issue, and she agrees with me.

  The girls don’t care about the money. They just want to play footy and be on TV. The money is a bonus. They should be paid, absolutely, but all the media hype about whether they’re being paid enough wasn’t coming from many of the players. The girls are just rapt that they can play the sport they love at an elite level.

  Regardless of the pay debate, my life was going completely haywire—in a good way—since I kicked those six goals for the Bulldogs. The media wanted me to do so many interviews and people wanted me to go to events. There were so many amazing opportunities being presented, I was like, People are asking me to come to their do? Sometimes I was sort of in shock at how lucky I was. I didn’t know how to be a celebrity, and the more I went to events and people wanted photos, the more it was like, This is weird, but it makes me feel so happy. I found myself sitting on panels during the AFL finals series with the likes of Cameron Ling and Matthew Richardson, and the next minute I was talking to Nathan Buckley. And they all seemed to like me for who I am. I felt like I was lost in the best possible dream.

  In terms of people wanting to know me, I think my appearance on Australian Story was just as important as kicking the six goals for the Western Bulldogs. I felt a real sense of acceptance after being on the program because people now knew who the real me was, so they didn’t need to judge me any more. They now knew that all my tattoos have deep meanings, that they aren’t some bogan accessory.

  Although I was getting ready to start training with Collingwood, I considered myself very much a Bulldogs person during the finals. I received so many lovely messages on social media from Dogs supporters who wanted to thank me for playing so well in their jumper. In Grand Final week, I received a message on Instagram from the mother of a young Bulldogs fan. The girl had asked her parents for badges to wear to show her support for the Dogs, but the only faces she wanted on the badges were mine and Susan Alberti’s. How cute is that! The mum sent me a video showing the little girl pointing to a picture of me and saying, ‘Moana Hope’. Then she would point to a picture of Susan and say, ‘Mrs Alberti’.

  I ended up getting in contact with the family and I found out they were coming down from Queensland to go to the Grand Final. I met up with them at the Whitten Oval the day after the Bulldogs won the premiership. I told them I was going to give the little girl a footy jumper. They thought it was just going to be any old jumper, but I actually gave her the jumper I wore when I kicked six goals. The kid hugged me like I’ve never been hugged before. It was such a beautiful moment. So the Bulldogs will always have a place in my heart. I think their supporters are amazing. I can’t thank the club enough for helping me turn my life around.

  11

  A whirlwind

  THE TWO MONTHS after the 2016 footy season ended were an absolute maelstrom of activity. So many opportunities came my way, and my manager, James Pitcher, teamed me up with the most amazing group of personal sponsors. I became an ambassador for Melbourne City Mission, Harness Racing Victoria, Moreland City Council’s Active Week, Gameday Mouthguards and even the latest Star Wars movie. I was invited to speak at business lunches and run footy clinics in places like Warrnambool and Tasmania. I launched a new women’s team in the Melbourne suburb of Yarraville and I was even asked to address a group of grade five kids at Melbourne Grammar School, as the teachers felt that my story would inspire them. I felt like a fish out of water at such a prestigious school, but I think my talk went down well. I told the kids about where I had come from but also about the need to be true to yourself and to pursue your dreams, even if that means going against the grain.

  Much later I asked James about his recollections of this amazing time:

  The interest in Mo was absolutely staggering. People were ringing me non-stop about her, and sometimes they would say, ‘Oh, and what male players do you look after?’ I mean, we manage superstars like Gary Ablett and Jack Riewoldt, but Mo was every bit as popular as them. There was seriously a period of time over the summer in which Mo was more popular than our male athletes.

  I even had calls from corporations wanting to get her to speak to their executives and employees. Mo ended up addressing people at Lendlease, which is a business that is genuinely trying to increase the number of women in its senior roles. Then I had a call from Macquarie Bank—the ‘Millionaires’ Factory’—to [ask her to] talk to a team of their bankers in Sydney about her journey and the things she has overcome to get where she is today.

  My favourite sponsorship deal of all the ones on offer was with Nike. Remember, I had been the kid so desperate to wear the swoosh that I had drawn it on sweatbands and headbands and t-shirts. Then, suddenly, I was signing a deal with the company that I had been obsessed with all my life. When they sent me a pair of footy boots with the hashtags #hope and #23 (my footy number) on them, I nearly cried. Nike signed me up to be part of their Women’s Athlete Group, which features a number of up and coming female athletes. It is an honour to be in it.

  I attended many functions during this time where I felt really out of my depth. I remember going to a dinner with all the marquee players and Gillon McLachlan. They sat me next to Gill and I was panicking because I saw that there were three knives and three forks on the table in front of me. I had no idea what was going on. At home when I was growing up, we just had a spoon each. It didn’t matter what you were eating, you had to make do with a spoon. So here I am sitting next to Gill, wondering what to do with all the cutlery, and then the waiter comes over and puts my cloth napkin on my lap. I am thinking, What the fuck’s this all about—I can do it myself, mate! We never had napkins at our place when I was a kid. So life has become qu
ite bizarre now that I am out of the bubble that I grew up in.

  In early November 2016, I was invited to attend Oaks Day at Flemington as a guest of Emirates, the airline that sponsors Collingwood. I went along with Ellie Blackburn, who is one of the Western Bulldogs’ marquee players. I was quite anxious beforehand, particularly about what to wear. I knew all the women would be wearing expensive dresses, but I didn’t want to put myself in clothing that I wasn’t going to feel comfortable wearing. In the end, I decided to rock up in a pair of $40 grey pants from Myer, along with a cheap jacket-and-hat combo—oh, and the pearls that Susan Alberti gave me. On my way to the races I sent out a tweet saying, ‘When you’re the only girl at the races not wearing a dress but rocking some pearls—just me …’

  I hoped that the people in the Emirates marquee would accept me for who I was, although I was a bit worried about getting knocked back at the door because I didn’t look like the other girls and wasn’t wearing any make-up. The thing is, I have been stopped from getting into clubs over the years because I wasn’t wearing a dress and heels. So when I got to the door and the person checking the wristbands smiled and waved me through, I was like, Wow, they accept me—this is cool.

  I didn’t know what to expect. I just thought it was going to be like a little tent, and I’d hang out with some mates. As soon as I walked in the entrance, I was like, Holy shit. It was like the epic party scene in the movie The Great Gatsby. I felt really intimidated. Everyone in there was a VIP or a celebrity—someone who had a big-shot reputation. And then there was me. The chick from Glenroy who plays footy. I couldn’t stop thinking,You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. How did I get invited to this place? It was so intense that I went straight to the bar and knocked back a couple of calming drinks.

  All the women and all the men looked amazing. Of course, the women were in these beautiful dresses, and they had headpieces the size of the room, and some had chains of diamonds coming down over their faces and, for a short time, I found myself wondering, Do they think I missed the memo about the dress code? Once I might have suffered a full-on panic attack in a situation like this, but now I had come full circle and didn’t care what anyone thought about me. I was being myself, and I was proud of that.

  As I looked around, I thought, I’m here because I’m a footballer and you’re possibly here because you own half of Melbourne. But I didn’t turn my nose up at them and think they were bad people for living in this glamorous world, as I once would have. The thing is, most of them were lovely, and some of them were seriously cool people.

  The most amazing person I met was Turia Pitt, who suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body when she became trapped in a bushfire while running an ultra marathon in Western Australia in 2011. Since then, Turia has become known around the world for her positive attitude. Her face was disfigured by the burns, but she has become a crusader for the idea that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. She may no longer look like the model she once was, but she is an amazingly beautiful person. Turia has also made a huge impact through her efforts to raise money to help burns victims in the developing world. And as if all that isn’t inspirational enough, prior to Oaks Day she had completed the Hawaiian Ironman competition, which involves a 3.8-kilometre swim, a 180-kilometre bike ride and a 42.2-kilometre run. She had finished the entire event, all three courses, in just fourteen hours.

  I first saw Turia while I was waiting to be served at the bar. I thought, Oh my God, I really want to meet you. I was too shy to go up to her, but the next minute she was patting me on the shoulder because she wanted to meet me. She had watched the episode of Australian Story and she said to me, ‘I’m a big fan of yours.’ I turned to her and replied, ‘Seriously, I just play footy. You are out there saving the world. I am a massive fan of yours.’

  A bit later I met ‘Magnolia’ Maminydjama Maymuru, who was the first Indigenous model to represent the Northern Territory in the Miss World Australia competition and is now the face of Melbourne’s Chadstone shopping centre. She was just blown away by me, because she played football growing up even though now she’s this big-time model. I couldn’t quite believe it when she asked to get a photo with me. I remember joking with her, ‘You’re the famous person and you’re asking me for a photo? It’s just weird!’

  My only disappointment was that I had been hoping to meet Michelle Payne, but in the end it didn’t happen. I can really relate to the way that Michelle has risen to the pinnacle of her sport despite her humble beginnings. I thought her win on Prince of Penzance in the 2015 Melbourne Cup was one of the most amazing sporting achievements I had ever seen. But the thing I love the most about Michelle is the way she cares so much for her brother, Stevie, who has Down’s syndrome. Michelle doesn’t treat him any differently from anyone else, and that’s how it should be. Like my sister Vinny, Stevie has so much to offer the world. I also admire the way Michelle has to fight for everything she gets in such a male-dominated sport. And even though she has achieved so much, she still seems to be down to earth, really normal.

  Before my day in the Emirates marquee was over, a reporter and photographer from The Age had bailed me up for an interview and a photo, then Channel Seven had asked to interview me as part of their telecast of the races. I remember saying to the people from Channel Seven, ‘Do you know who’s in this tent? Jen Hawkins is in there, Turia Pitt is in there, stacks of famous footballers are in there, surely you don’t want to interview me?’ But they did. It was all very surreal.

  A few times I had to go outside the marquee and just gather my thoughts for a while. But people kept coming up to me and asking for photos or just to say hi. Here I was, dressed in cheap clothes and looking like a bloke, and everyone thought I was great. It made me feel so good inside. I posted a photo of my outfit on Instagram and the response was amazing. People loved that I had gone to such a glamorous event and had just been myself. I received messages from a lot of young girls saying that I was such a great role model for them. I had shown them that you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. I was very pleased that I could help others be themselves.

  I try to get back to everybody who messages me something positive on social media. I think that if they have taken the time to send a message, then I should take the time to acknowledge them. I realise now how many of the people who message me see me as a role model, and responding to their messages is a way that I can give back to them and encourage them. So many of the young women who message me are inspired that I have kept playing footy, despite the amount of people who look down on us, and still think it’s just a bunch of butch lesbians involved in the women’s side of the game, instead of the reality, which is that we are a wide range of women from many walks of life. Girls have the right to feel good about playing footy, and that is something I can now help others with. I know it means a lot to many of them if I even just take a few seconds to write, ‘Thanks for your support’, when they get in touch.

  Around the time that I went to Oaks Day, a young girl sent me a message on Instagram that read, ‘You’re my inspiration.’ I looked at her Instagram feed and saw that she played football, so I wrote back, ‘I see you play footy, that’s awesome, keep at it.’ Her mum then messaged me on Facebook. It was an amazing message and it went something like this: ‘I just want you to know that what you’ve done today has changed my daughter’s life.’ The mum wrote at length about how her daughter had suffered depression and other mental health problems, and had thought about suicide. She had watched her daughter read my message and had been amazed at the impact it had. She wrote to me that she had never seen her daughter smile so much for such a long time. Her daughter is now in a much better place. She is not worrying about what people at her school think about her and she is really getting stuck into playing footy and trying to reach the AFL.

  To be able to have an impact on people like this is an amazing gift. When I think back to when I was that girl’s age, I would have given anything to have a role model who contacted me to s
ay that playing footy was a cool thing for girls to do. But I didn’t have that. I think I might have written letters to some of my idols, but of course there was no social media back then, so it was much harder to get a reply. It’s so much easier to communicate with people now, so the least I can do for the young women looking up to me is to reply to their messages. I’m not saying I’m responsible for changing their lives. Even with the girl I mentioned before, I’m sure there are a lot of people close to her doing some great things to get her back on track. I don’t want to overstate what I can do for people. But when people send me positive messages it gives me such a lift, so I know that to send messages back the other way can be just as powerful. If I can help people be themselves, and not feel pressure to conform to how other people think they should be, then I want to make sure I put in the time and effort to do just that.

  The people who send me messages probably don’t realise just how much they also inspire me. I had a message from a bunch of guys who started a group for Movember, the annual fundraising event to raise awareness of men’s health issues. There were fifteen of them and they didn’t know what to call their group. But they were so in awe of me and my story, they called it the Mo Hope Group. I thought that was pretty good, and witty. So I jumped online, donated to their group and started sharing their story on social media. For me, doing things like that is much more important than going to glamorous events and meeting famous people. Don’t get me wrong, I love getting the chance to do these other things and I am very appreciative of all that has come my way. But giving back to the community and sharing my good fortune with others means so much more to me.

  In late 2016, I had a message from a lady in Tasmania, whose daughter was a big fan of mine. So when I went down there to do a footy clinic, I met up with them and had a kick of the footy with the daughter. She was so thankful and it made me feel so good. When I was messaging the mother whose daughter had depression, I straightaway asked if they were in Melbourne, because I thought I could maybe go and kick the footy with the daughter once a week or something like that. It turns out that they live in Western Australia, so I sent her a footy jumper and have promised to meet up with them when I can. Making connections with others is where my power lies. That’s where I can make the biggest difference to people’s lives, particularly young women who are shy and insecure, like I was at their age.