Conflict of Interest

by Jae

  Aiden's eyes widened into the classical "deer in the headlights" look. For a moment, she appeared almost afraid to answer the simple question.

  Dawn, well aware of Aiden's harmless infatuation with Kade, could almost hear her panicked thoughts: Is this the point where I have to decide between a possible relationship with Dawn, which would not be easy, and the safe admiration for Kade?

  "It's a simple, honest question, no trap, no encrypted message, no ulterior motive. I just want to know if you think Kade would be interested in joining us for a drink," Dawn told her.

  "You're the mind reader, not me. Why don't you decide for yourself if she wants to accompany us or not?" Aiden suggested with a smile.

  Dawn slowly walked across the courtroom. She stopped right in front of the prosecution's table and waited until Kade looked up. "Hi," she began. To her surprise, she found herself a little shy now that she was facing the object of Aiden's infatuation. Kadence Matheson was beautiful, confident, and secure, the way only a person whose feeling of personal safety had never been violated could be. Dawn knew she could never hope to match up to that in Aiden's eyes. "My family is planning to go out and celebrate. Would you like to join us?"

  Kade snapped her briefcase shut and started to politely shake her head.

  "Oh, come on, Counselor!" Ray Bennet shouted from the gallery. "Live a little!"

  The DDA hesitated and glanced down at her watch.

  "Come with us, Kade," Aiden said from behind Dawn. "It's too late to get any real work done anyway."

  "All right." Kade shouldered her briefcase as a soldier would his rifle. "But remember: I'm a woman with expensive tastes," she warned them with a smile.

  Aiden, who appeared utterly content now that she was flanked by Dawn on one side and Kade on the other side, just laughed. "Who said this was an all expenses paid invitation?"

  * * *

  I should have known we would end up in some cop bar, Kade thought with a wry smile. Being surrounded by beer-drinking, laughing, boasting cops didn't bother her in the least. She knew exactly what horrors they had to face every day. She knew that for each time they went out for a celebratory drink, there were at least two other times that they sat here staring broodingly into their beer glasses, seeking comfort in each other's presence.

  Kade contentedly sipped her wine and leaned back in her chair at the head of the table. Over the rim of her glass, she watched her companions.

  Mrs. Kinsley was visibly relieved to have left the trial behind her. She laughed cheerfully at the story Ray was telling about his four daughters.

  Her silent friend, the intriguing Lieutenant Vasquez, smiled too, but half her attention remained on Dawn. As a police officer, she was much more aware that winning the trial didn't automatically stop the torment the victims had to go through.

  Kade followed her gaze and studied Dawn. Her key witness was deep in conversation with Aiden, their heads bent closely together because of the loudness of their surroundings.

  Now that's interesting. Kade raised her brows. Everyone else at the table would probably think nothing of it, but years of examining witnesses on the stand and watching suspects through the one-way mirror had honed Kade's skills of observation. In addition, she knew Aiden's body language. Like most cops, Aiden preferred to keep a certain distance between herself and whomever she was talking to – unless she happened to be attracted to her conversation partner. That was what had ultimately tipped Kade off about Aiden's possible feelings for her.

  Aiden and Dawn weren't touching, and the topic of their conversation was probably just small talk, but Kade could feel a connection between them anyway. Something was developing between them, something more than just the relationship of a victim and the detective working her case. Well, well, well... Kade took another sip of her wine. I guess I'll have to do without the company of one Detective Aiden Carlisle in the courtroom during her lunch breaks from now on.

  She had long since suspected that Aiden was not immune to the charm of an attractive woman, and Dawn Kinsley was both charming and attractive. Away from the tense atmosphere of the courtroom and the presence of her rapist, Dawn's smile was warm and genuine, and the wine had lent a little color to her pale cheeks.

  Kade noted with mixed feelings how her gray-green eyes shone when Dawn looked at Aiden. She wasn't jealous, nor did she view herself as being particularly narrow-minded. Despite her awareness of Aiden's admiring gazes, she had never really considered a relationship with her or any other woman. Work had always come first, but you couldn't be a Matheson and not be even a little regretful to lose the flattering attention of an admirer.

  Kade's thoughts and the conversation between Dawn and Aiden were interrupted when one of the men who'd sat drinking at the bar tapped Dawn on the shoulder. "Hey, beautiful lady. How about a dance?" He offered her his none-too-steady hand.

  Dawn looked over her shoulder toward the dance floor, which was the general size of a postage stamp. No one was dancing. "No, thank you," she declined politely.

  "A game of pool, then?" the man offered, nodding at the pool tables.

  "No, thanks," Dawn said again.

  Her admirer wouldn't take no for an answer. "Oh, come on, just one –"

  A low growl from Aiden interrupted him. She pressed tense hands against the table and started to rise.

  On the edge of her vision, Kade could see that Del Vasquez had taken up a similar position.

  Dawn's fingers on her forearm held Aiden back. Their gazes crossed for a second, and Dawn shook her head almost imperceptibly. "I can handle it, thanks," Kade heard her whisper.

  To Kade's surprise, the protective Aiden obediently sank back onto her chair without any protests.

  Dawn turned toward the waiting man. Kade could see that she had to force herself to hold his stare without flinching back from the smell of beer on his breath. "I'm here with my friends and my family, so I don't want to dance with you, play pool with you, or do anything else with you, okay?" Her voice was soft but firm.

  For a second, the man stood frozen as if he couldn't believe that he had been shot down until one of his buddies called from the bar, "C'mere, and leave her alone, Sim. I know these guys. They're with the SAD."

  While the half-drunk man stumbled back to his friends, Kade watched Aiden squeeze Dawn's now trembling fingers under the table.

  It was her first confrontation with a man after her rape, Kade suddenly understood. She wanted... needed to prove to herself, and to Aiden, that she could handle it on her own, without the help of her knight with the shining badge. Aiden, my friend, I think you've found your match. Kade raised her wineglass in a silent toast to the courageous woman.

  * * *

  In over twenty years on the job, Del had seen a lot of cases that never went to trial or were lost by a helpless DDA for lack of evidence. She had dealt with victims who hadn't been able to identify their attacker but couldn't understand why he was acquitted, more times than she could count. Her relief at not having to deal with any of those things in Dawn's case was profound.

  They had won, and Del fully intended to buy the victorious DDA a beer or two. She turned to look at Kade Matheson and found her talking and laughing with Carlisle.

  "And to think that you managed to win in Linehan's court without her holding you in contempt. Not even once!" Aiden teased, obviously familiar with Kade and her past courtroom experiences.

  "Being held in contempt is not half as bad as losing the keys to your handcuffs," Kade answered haughtily, but a small, playful wink took the sting from her words.

  "I didn't lose them," Carlisle protested. "I just said that to scare the perp into confessing."

  Kade gave her a sarcastic nod. "Oh, yes, of course."

  "Yes," Carlisle insisted. "That's my story, and I'm sticking to it."

  "Uh-huh. And do you lose the keys to your handcuffs very often, Detective?"

  Del leaned back and watched them. Are they flirting? The DDA and the detective were obviously at ease w
ith each other, and Del wondered if Carlisle's reaction to her request to be "hooked up" with Kade Matheson had held a hint of jealousy. I certainly couldn't blame her. Matheson's a looker, and she pulls that arrogant no-nonsense attitude off better than any other woman I know. If even an old warhorse like me is impressed, there's no way in hell that Carlisle could be left cold. But where does that leave my little grasshopper?

  She turned her head to look at Dawn, who sat silently staring into her wineglass, not attempting to interrupt or get involved in the conversation between Carlisle and Kade Matheson. She didn't try to redirect Carlisle's attention back to herself.

  Dawn looked up, as if sensing Del's gaze on her, and smiled.

  Del raised a questioning brow. "You okay?"

  "I'm fine," Dawn said.

  Del looked back at Matheson and Carlisle, who were still teasing and laughing. I bet you're not fine with that. Having known Dawn for almost all her life, she had sensed Dawn's interest in Aiden Carlisle from the start, but she knew that Dawn didn't feel in a position to pursue a relationship with her just yet. I just hope she doesn't waste her trust and feelings on a woman who's not really available.

  "Dawn..." Del started. She had never interfered with any of Dawn's relationships before, even when she'd known from the start that neither Caleb Montgomery nor Maggie Forsyth had been right for her. Now, though, Dawn was so vulnerable that she couldn't help trying to warn her. "Are you really sure that Carlisle is available for a relationship?"

  Dawn leaned over the table, making sure that no one could overhear them in the loud bar. "I'm not even sure if I'm available for a relationship just yet," she answered honestly. "For now, I just want to be her friend."

  For now, yes. But will Carlisle have the patience to wait until you're ready for more when she could have a woman like Kade Matheson right now? Del rubbed her chin and watched Carlisle interact with Kade again. "But –"

  "Stop worrying about me, Del," Dawn said with her trademark kind smile.

  "I can't," Del confessed. "It's my job to worry about you; I inherited it from your dad."

  Dawn reached across the table and patted her hand. "And you do a great job, really. But in this case, it's not necessary. I'm well aware that Aiden likes Ms. Matheson."

  Del eyed Kade Matheson's elegant lips, her aristocratic nose, and the slender legs. "Well, what's not to like?" she muttered.

  "I thought you had a thing for Latinas?" A teasing grin made the gray-green eyes sparkle.

  Del's lips echoed the smile. "I'd make an exception for her." Dawn's laugh warmed her heart, and she watched as Carlisle turned her head at the sound of her laughter. The detective's eyes searched out Dawn's face, and she grinned when she saw the smile on it.

  When Carlisle turned back to her own conversation, Dawn leaned toward Del again. "Aiden likes Kade. She admires her, but I don't think that she would want to start a relationship with her. It's more like one of those worshiping from afar things – safe because you know that it will never become reality. Besides, Kadence Matheson doesn't swing that way."

  "Ah." Del waved dismissively, but in her mind she wasn't so sure. Kade Matheson may have never "swung that way" in the past, but she didn't strike Del as the type to vehemently oppose the possibility. "When you start to sound like a shrink, I know it's complicated."

  Dawn laughed again. "There are some things that even the gold bar on your uniform couldn't change, hmm? You cops just love psychologists."

  Del grinned. Let's hope that a particular one of us will learn to.

  CHAPTER 23

  "GOOD GOD!" AIDEN groaned as she bent down to peer at the report on her desk more closely. "Is that a 'g' or a 'b'?" She turned the file and threw it onto the desk in front of hers.

  Ray studied the words for a while. "Hmm. Could be an eight, too. Maybe even an 'h'." He threw the file back to Aiden.

  Frustrated, she gathered her files and emptied her cup of coffee.

  Ruben looked up from his own work when she stood. "You're not going to jump from the roof because you can't read the memo the lieutenant tacked onto your last report, are you?"

  Aiden snorted. "Hardly. I think I'll go down and try to find someone from the hieroglyphics department to help me read this."

  "Well, I have this theory." Okada ignored the groans of his colleagues at the word "theory." "It's not a coincidence that the guys and gals with the sloppiest handwriting always get promoted fastest. No one wants to spend hours trying to decipher their reports anymore."

  "I'm sure the lieutenant would be very happy to hear what you think about the qualifications that got her this job," Aiden commented dryly.

  Ray leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms behind his head. "You going to pay our friends from ballistics a visit?"

  Moving toward the double doors, Aiden nodded. "We won't get any further on Powell until the lab confirms a ballistics match. And it'll be good to get out and take a break from all this reading." She rubbed her burning eyes.

  "Could you bring me back a salad?" Ray asked.

  "Sure." As Aiden left, she heard the other detectives tease him about being put on diet by his wife. At least he's got someone who cares about his health. Aiden had dedicated her life to her job. It was the one thing that she could really be proud of, the only time she felt good about herself without reservation. But still there were times when she realized that maybe there was more to life than the job. Ray had a beautiful wife and four kids; Ruben had a girlfriend and his whole life ahead of him, and even Okada had three or four ex-wives – Aiden had lost count a long time ago – to whom he paid alimony. Aiden was the only one who didn't have a bond with any living human being. Thinking about significant others, relationships, and her lack thereof conjured up a mental picture of Dawn, and Aiden violently shook her head to chase away these thoughts.

  Aiden dropped their bullet off for analysis at the crime lab, but instead of heading straight back to the precinct, she decided to use her lunch break for a little walk through Waterfront Park, just two blocks from the Justice Center.

  She strode along the Willamette River, breathing in the cold November air until she slowly felt her tension fade. She slowed her pace and took the time to look around. The wind was tugging at the flag that was flying over the Portland Police Memorial at the end of the park, and Aiden mentally saluted the colleagues who had lost their lives in the line of duty.

  Slowly walking closer, she could make out the circular form of the memorial and the red cobbles that formed a star. A woman was standing in front of the memorial wall, her blond hair blowing in the wind.

  Aiden stopped to look at the woman. She looks like Dawn, she thought and then rolled her eyes at herself. Oh, great! Now everyone you see reminds you of her. Cut it out, right this instant.

  Try as she might, she couldn't help herself. Her gaze wandered back to the Dawn look-alike, who had her back to her. She had the same blond hair and the same petite, lithe body.

  Stop it! Her hair isn't even as long as Dawn's. She shook her head at herself and resolutely walked on.

  The path circled around the memorial, and Aiden still found herself sneaking glimpses at the solitary woman. Finally, she was able to see her in profile. "Dawn?" she called before she could stop herself.

  The woman whirled around. It was Dawn Kinsley. A smile lit up her features when she saw Aiden. "Hi!"

  Aiden walked over to her. "You cut your hair," she noticed with surprise. The blond hair didn't reach almost all the way down Dawn's back any longer. The ends now just brushed her shoulders.

  Dawn nodded self-consciously and tugged the blond strands back on one side, revealing a cute ear. "Yes, I... I wanted a little change," she said quietly.

  Aiden knew that it wasn't uncommon for rape victims to change the way they looked. In addition, pulling her long hair had been one of the ways in which Gary Ballard had tried to keep Dawn under control during the rape. "It looks good," Aiden said and meant it.

  "Thank you," Dawn answered with a
hint of a blush. "What are you doing here?"

  Aiden stuffed her hands into her coat pockets. "Um... I was dropping something off at the ballistics lab, and now I'm taking my lunch break. You?"

  Dawn bit her lip. "Visiting my dad." She smiled sadly and touched one of the names on the memorial wall. James Kinsley. "I always come here on his birthday. I think he'd like it better than me going to visit his grave."

  Aiden watched her lovingly trace every letter on her father's plaque, one of twenty-six that represented Portland police officers who had been killed in the line of duty. She watched the emotions play across Dawn's face. She could almost feel the connection between Dawn and her dead father, and it was painful to realize that she would never share a similar bond with either of her parents.