by Jae
Dawn tried to hide her flinch and turned around with a polite smile.
Aiden's young colleague stood in front of her, offering her a glass of champagne with a boyish grin. "I noticed you don't have anything to drink yet. Ruben Cartwright," he said with a charming little bow.
Dawn took the offered glass even though she had no intention of drinking the champagne. With so many people around her, she wanted to be in full control of her senses. "Dawn Kinsley," she said, "but you probably already knew that." She knew that the young detective had helped with a few parts of the investigation in her case.
He grinned at her. "Of course. I never forget a beautiful woman."
Dawn stared at him in surprise. She had expected him to refer to her case and not answer with a compliment. Is he flirting with me? He has to know I'm gay, right? For a few seconds, Dawn felt completely overwhelmed, unequipped to handle it. His flirting made her uncomfortable and insecure, not only because of the rape, but also because he was Aiden's colleague and it was clear that he had no idea that she was Aiden's girlfriend.
Then, after he just continued to smile at her without hitting on her more aggressively, Dawn noticed that she also felt a little flattered. She realized that this was probably the way Ruben Cartwright treated all women, gay or straight, and it felt good to have him treat her like any other woman, not like a rape victim.
"Can I get you something to eat?" Ruben offered gallantly.
"Don't bother, my friend," another male voice interrupted, "she's here with someone else."
They turned to see Jeff Okada approach, Aiden right behind him.
Ruben Cartwright groaned. "You're not trying to tell me that she's your date?"
"Better." Okada's lips stretched into a gloating grin. "She's Aiden's."
Ruben almost choked on his punch. "Aiden is gay?" he rasped.
"Come on," Okada clapped him on the back, "that's hardly a surprising revelation."
"It is to my cousin," Ruben muttered.
Dawn felt Aiden's familiar presence move in behind her. Wordlessly, Aiden handed her a glass of apple juice and took the glass of champagne from her. "Are you through discussing my love life and my sexual orientation?" Aiden asked her colleagues. Dawn knew her well enough by now to hear the mixed emotions of amusement and exasperation in her voice.
"Discussing?" Ruben repeated. "You have to know about something first to be able to discuss it. You really could've told us that you're already..." The detective's gaze strayed toward Dawn. "...otherwise... engaged."
"Maybe I would have, had I been aware that I was a client of Ruben Cartwright's dating agency," Aiden shot back.
"How about I show you where our esteemed hostess stores the edibles while the two of them are busy butting heads?" Jeff Okada gallantly offered Dawn his arm.
Dawn didn't hesitate for more than a second. Despite her now instinctive caution when meeting male strangers, she couldn't help liking Aiden's colleagues. She felt at ease with them. "Lead on," she said, resting her hand lightly on Okada's arm, "but please stay away from the broccoli."
"I think someone who's spreading ugly rumors about me is wandering these halls," Okada said as he led her away. He handed her a plate and watched as Dawn picked a few tidbits from the buffet. "Has Aiden already introduced you to the other wives?"
Dawn looked up from the prawn cocktail. "The other wives?" she repeated with amusement. "So, I'm a wife now? I wasn't aware of any recent changes in my marital status."
If she had hoped to see the experienced detective flustered, she was disappointed. "You may not wear a ring yet, but just the simple fact that you're here tells me a lot about your relationship with our favorite female detective," Okada answered, his face expressionless.
Dawn nibbled on a pickled gherkin. "Why's that? From what I've seen so far, every detective brought a date."
"Sure, everyone always brings his or her – what my partner likes to call – 'squeeze of the month,' just to have someone to kiss at midnight, but I never make much of an effort to learn their names because I know they won't even last until the next party," Okada explained straight up.
"So what makes you think that I belong in the 'wife' and not the 'squeeze of the month' category?" Dawn asked with the same openness. She wasn't sure why, but out of all of Aiden's colleagues that she had talked to so far, she liked this man best. She had discovered that he was a real gentleman with a soft heart and a keen intelligence that he hid behind a mask of sarcasm.
Okada snagged another piece of broccoli from the buffet. "Aiden's never brought anyone to any of the parties before. She wouldn't have bothered to risk having to explain why she showed up with a woman, and a former key witness at that, if she thought that she would attend the next party alone again."
Dawn was stunned – and happy – at that insight. I really hope he's right about that. "You said your name is Okada, right? Not Renshaw?" she asked, referring to the SAD's forensic psychiatrist.
The corner of Okada's mouth lifted into a half smile. "I've been married four times, so I guess you could say that I hold an honorary degree in crisis psychology."
"Is he giving you a hard time, Dawn?" Ray Bennet sidled up to her, taking on a protective stance that reminded her of her brother. "Okada is infamous for driving psychologists mad. In his last psych evaluation, he answered the question about the 'most disturbing experience during his career' with 'my second marriage.'"
Dawn smiled at Ray, then at Okada. "I'm divorced, too, so I can relate."
"Well, on that positive note, I think I'll go and rescue my partner from Aiden's wrath," Okada announced and walked away.
Suddenly alone with her girlfriend's partner, Dawn found herself a little tongue-tied. She fidgeted with her glass of apple juice. Is this how Aiden felt when I took her home for Christmas dinner with my family? She had watched the interaction between Aiden and Ray, and it reminded her very much of her relationship with her brother. Now she felt as if she was trying to win the approval of a big brother.
"Thanks for talking to Rebecca earlier," Ray finally broke the silence, "and for offering to get her in contact with your friends in the Art Department."
Ray's daughter had been ecstatic when she had discovered that Dawn liked to draw and paint, too. Rebecca planned to study art history at Portland State University. "No problem," Dawn answered. "Your daughter is a really nice young woman." She smiled when she saw Ray shudder at the thought of his little girl being a "young woman" who would soon leave home.
When Ray reached for a carafe of juice to refill her glass, Dawn used the pause in conversation to look around in search of Aiden. It took a moment to find her, for she was sitting in a quiet corner – with Kade Matheson. They were deeply in conversation, leaning close to each other to be able to hear over the increasingly loud party. The DDA had set her wineglass down, and Dawn saw her lightly touching Aiden's forearm whenever she made a point.
Ray handed Dawn her glass and followed the direction of her gaze. For a few seconds, he observed Kade and Aiden, and then he looked into Dawn's eyes. "Don't worry," he said, "Kade is not a threat to you."
Dawn bit her lip. She hadn't intended to reveal her stupid insecurities to Aiden's partner. But now that he had brought up the topic, she didn't want to let the opportunity to learn more about the relationship between Aiden and Kade pass her by. God knows, neither Aiden nor I have been eager to bring up the topic of Kade Matheson with each other. "Because she's straight?" she asked.
Ray shrugged. "I assume that she is, but no one ever had the balls to ask her to her face, and Kade likes to maintain an air of mystery. But even if Kade wasn't straight, it wouldn't matter – Aiden is the most loyal person I know."
Dawn didn't doubt it for a second. She had always known that Aiden would never cheat on someone with whom she was in a committed relationship. She trusted Aiden, but sometimes she still asked herself if Aiden wouldn't be much happier with a woman like Kade Matheson at her side – a woman who was elegant and confident in eve
ry situation, someone who shared a part of her work life, whom she could hug or kiss unexpectedly without her flinching back. Someone without the emotional baggage of a rape victim.
As if feeling Dawn's gaze on her, Aiden looked up and their eyes met. Aiden smiled and raised an eyebrow that silently asked, "Everything okay?"
Dawn gave her a smile and a nod.
Aiden's other brow joined the first one, forming an, "Are you sure?"
With a quick glance at Kade, who was leaning back and observing their silent interaction, Dawn nodded again. She was feeling okay – or at least a lot better – now that she had seen how readily Aiden had directed her attention away from Kade and toward her.
Their eye contact was broken when Susan Bennet waved for Aiden to follow her into the kitchen. Kade stood too, and for a second, Dawn thought that she would follow Aiden, but the DDA strode toward her instead.
"Ray." Kade's nod could have been a greeting as well as a dismissal.
"You'll have to excuse me now," Ray said. "I think my presence is required in the kitchen. Leaving my wife and my partner alone to gossip about me is usually not a bright idea."
For the first time since she was more than a victim to Aiden, Dawn found herself alone with Kade Matheson. She suppressed the urge to instantly start with small talk to fill the awkward silence, curious to see what topic of conversation the attorney would choose.
"I hear you're back at work," Kade commented.
Dawn furrowed her brow. Did Aiden tell her that? Does she talk about me... about our relationship with Kade? Does Kade even know that we're in a relationship? She had a feeling there wasn't much that escaped Kade Matheson's attention.
"The Matheson clan has more informants than the Mafia," Kade said as if reading her thoughts.
She's a prosecutor, Dawn reminded herself. She's used to reading body language, so you better be careful if you don't want her to read you like a book. "Yes, I'm back at work," she finally answered. "Not at my old job, though. I decided to work with families and kids, with a few teens and young adults thrown in, who have problems coming to terms with their sexual orientation."
"That's important work." Kade's face revealed no emotions.
Is that the politically correct Matheson way of telling me that she's okay with my own sexual orientation... and my relationship with Aiden? Dawn wondered. "It's a nice change of pace from working with rape survivors."
"I can definitely understand that," Kade said with a decisive nod. "After prosecuting white collar crimes, transferring to the sex crimes unit was... well, let's just say it's been a challenge."
Dawn suddenly began to wonder about Kade, the person, and not just Kade, Aiden's possible love interest. What made a talented, ambitious woman from a wealthy, influential family choose a job that has a frustratingly low conviction rate and doesn't get much media attention? Why did she become a prosecutor? I'm sure her family wanted to see her as a partner in a big shot law firm. "The detectives that I know always tell me that working with living victims is the hardest," Dawn said.
Kade swirled the wine in her glass. "Yes, but some of them wouldn't trade it for anything else."
She's talking about Aiden, Dawn realized. "For some, it's the only thing they know how to do – and the one thing they feel they have to do."
"The only thing they feel they have," Kade added, sipping from her wine like a southern lady.
"That's not true, though. They are and they have so much more than just the job." Dawn let her gaze wander around the room, taking in all the laughing people. "These people are almost like a family."
Kade turned so she could look at the same things that Dawn did. "A family," she agreed quietly, "complete with a strict but softhearted mother, an eager younger brother, and a weird uncle."
Dawn had to chuckle as she looked at Lieutenant Swenson, Ruben, and Okada.
"And what's your role in that nice little family analogy?" Aiden asked as she came up behind them.
"That's easy – I'm the utterly brilliant but completely underestimated, underappreciated sister," Kade answered, still looking at Dawn.
Sister, Dawn's mind repeated.
Aiden chuckled. "You forgot painfully shy and modest sister. So, what part does that leave for me?"
Kade nonchalantly turned to her. "The protective family dog," she suggested.
Juice dribbled down Dawn's chin and drenched her blouse as she laughed. My expensive, white silk blouse, Dawn added, grimacing as she looked down. Which is almost transparent now. "Damn."
"It's not that bad." Aiden reached out one gentle finger to flick a drop of juice from Dawn's chin. "At least you didn't drink red wine."
Dawn pulled the wet, cold fabric away from her skin with two fingers. She noticed that Aiden was heroically trying not to look anywhere but into her face.
"Come on," Aiden lightly gripped Dawn's elbow, "let's find Susan and ask her if she has something you can wear."
Susan readily gave them access to her wardrobe. "What's it gonna be?" She lifted a see-through blouse from its hanger and grinned back at Dawn. "Something sexy?"
"Don't tease her, Susan," Aiden growled from somewhere behind them.
"Her?" Susan winked. "It's you I want to tease."
"Something less transparent than what I'm already wearing would be nice, thank you," Dawn interrupted them.
Susan handed her an elegant, dark red blouse. "Aiden, please show her where the bathroom is."
Dawn followed her friend down the hall.
Finally, Aiden stopped and opened a door for Dawn. "Are you okay?"
"Why wouldn't I be?" Dawn turned to look up at her, suddenly aware that they were alone for the first time that evening. "It was just a little juice."
"That's not what I meant." Aiden reached out a hand and, after a second of hesitation, let it rest against Dawn's cheek. "Are you okay with being at the party? I'm sorry that I keep abandoning you."
Dawn covered the hand on her cheek with her own. "Abandoning? Aiden, we're not joined at the hip. You're allowed to leave me for a while to talk to your friends."
The guilty expression on Aiden's face faded. "I hope no one tried to hold a piece of broccoli above you while I wasn't looking."
"No. Jeff Okada has been very nice to me. He's a real sweetheart," Dawn said with a smile.
Aiden's fingers tickled under her chin. "I think he has a soft spot for you. And Ruben's still pouting because he's no longer allowed to try and charm you with his lame one-liners."
Dawn leaned back against the doorjamb. "You mean one-liners like 'would you like to have coffee with us?'" she quoted one of the first things Aiden had said to her.
"That wasn't a line," Aiden protested. "And you shot me down pretty fast."
"Not because I wanted to," Dawn said, "but I couldn't very well cancel a patient's session because I wanted to go out with a cute detective that I had just met."
For a second, Aiden's amber eyes narrowed at the teasing "cute" as Dawn had known they would, but then Aiden chose to concentrate on the rest of the sentence. "Would you have agreed to go out on a date with me if we had met again under different circumstances?"
Dawn had waited for that topic to be brought up. Her own thoughts had circled around those what ifs for months now. What if she had accepted Aiden's offer to go out for coffee the first time they met? What if she hadn't made Aiden run away by asking her to speak to her group of pregnant rape victims? And, most of all, what if she had never been raped? "I would have hesitated because you're a cop and I promised myself to never again get involved with one of the boys – or girls – in blue."
"But?" Aiden prompted.
"But if you'd been persistent, I would have finally said yes." She lifted her eyes to Aiden's face. "Would you have been persistent?"
Aiden looked down at her boots.
Dawn sensed her reluctance. "Please, tell me."
"I can't really see myself going out of my way to get close to a shrink," Aiden said, one corner of her mouth li
fting into an apologetic half smile. "At least not emotionally close."
There was something that Aiden was holding back. "But...?"
Aiden rubbed her neck, head down, looking up through her lashes with a mixture of childlike innocence and full-blown seduction. "Well, if I met you in a bar, after a stressful week, I'd have tried to get you into bed."
Dawn had long since suspected that Aiden normally was the one-night stand type, preferring sex without emotional entanglements, but to think that she would have gotten the "love 'em, leave 'em" treatment from her hurt nonetheless. She knew that Aiden was a woman with intense emotions and passions. From time to time, she would need to let go of her tight self-control. Dawn suspected that sex was that kind of release for Aiden, but she was no longer in a position to give her that. "Where does that leave us now?"
