Circle of Secrets

by Lauren Tisdale

  “I heard the argument. Are you okay?”

  She sniffled, “I will be. I’m not getting rid of my baby. He can’t make me. I won’t do it.” She looked towards Elijah and wiped her eyes, her right hand running along her protruding stomach. “Feeling this baby moving around inside of me, growing, surviving…I can’t just give it away to some stranger.”

  “Little sister, I understand where you’re coming from. I really do. But what about your future? What about all the plans you had, a career, you just going to give all that up?”

  “It’s called sacrifice. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to ensure that my baby has everything he or she needs. The baby’s needs come first, Eli.”

  He looked away from her, as if knowing it was pointless to try to argue with her. She was stubborn and it ran in the family. Nodding, he looked back at her, “I guess you’ve made up your mind. Just remember Mom and Dad only want what’s best for you. I leave for state next fall. I won’t be here to help like I want, and I worry about you.”

  “Don’t worry about me, Eli. I’m a survivor, I always was. I always will be.”

  “Of course I worry about you, Helen. You’re my sister. This baby is my niece or nephew and I’ll love them just the same. I just question if you know what you’re getting into. Raising a baby isn’t easy, you’ll be mostly alone. Mom and Dad can only help so much, but after you’ve gone against their wishes…”

  “So I’ll do it alone, I’ve done it this far. What happened to believing in me and all that I could do? You all underestimate me, never give me enough credit. I’m stronger than you think!” She rose from the bed and moved over to the large window of her room, looking out into the twilight sky as the sun began to descend behind the horizon, the sky a mixture of orange, blue and white. Her eyes moved down to her rounded belly and she smiled softly. “This baby keeps me strong…keeps me going.” She looked up at Eli and smiled softly, he returned her smile and nodded in understanding.

  “It is your life, and who am I to tell you you’re living it wrong? I forget how stubborn you are sometimes, little sister.” He chuckled and she smiled bigger.

  “I get it from you, big brother. After all it runs in our family, doesn’t it?”

  “Mom! Mom! Do you hear me? Pass the rolls please?”

  Helen blinked a few times as she came back to the present. Tyson II was looking at her with a grin as he held a hand out for the rolls. “What were you daydreaming about, hm?” he asked as she smiled and passed him the basket of rolls.

  “Oh, nothing…just thinking, I guess. Don’t mind me,” she said as she looked down at her plate and picked at her food. Soon there was a knock and the kids ran to the door to greet her father.

  “Ah, you started eating without me, eh? I see…” Joseph chuckled and walked over with the potato salad and set it down, kissing Helen’s cheek and taking a seat.

  “Happy Mother’s Day Cupcake,” he said sweetly to her as she smiled and thanked him. Ever since her mother lost the battle with breast cancer five years back, each holiday or gathering made her miss her mother. It was her father she was worried most about. Living alone, he was still “healthy as a horse” as he liked to say, but she knew he was fighting with his achy bones.

  “Hey Grandpa, guess who got promoted?” Brent chimed in as they began to talk about his new job and the baby’s due date.

  “I still say it’ll be a boy. You just wait,” Joseph said. Abigail laughed and rubbed her stomach, letting out a sigh.

  “Well, be it boy or girl I just can’t wait until this baby is out of me.” Everyone chuckled as Grace placed her hand on her stomach and squealed with joy when she felt the baby kick.

  “Won’t be long now, for sure.” Grace said in a sing-songy voice.

  Mother’s Day dinner had gone off without a hitch and the food was amazing. Her daughter-in-law Grace, and son Tyson II, helped her clean up as Abigail and Brent kept all the kids occupied. Helen’s husband and father sat at the table discussing the latest political and sports news. “Mom, I got all this. It’s Mother’s Day. You shouldn’t be lifting a finger.”

  “Oh, TJ. Hush now. It’s only a few dishes,” she said with a chuckle. She finished drying the dishes listening to the squeals of laughter from the kids as Brent tickled them and picked them up, playing the airplane game. Abigail sat in the recliner rubbing her belly, smiling and laughing as the kids laughed. She rocked back and forth as she sat peacefully watching her husband play with all of the kids. Helen smiled as she looked upon all of them. Her little family was perfect; if only…if only…shaking the thoughts from her head she went into the family room, taking a seat on the sofa.

  Her husband and father were deep in conversation as they normally were; her father loved Tyson Sr. He found him to be perfect for his daughter since he came from a stable, well-known family. Tyson was a physician at the local hospital who specialized in general medicine. Helen was an RN at the same facility. That made him even more perfect in her father’s eyes.

  Her thoughts always strayed to what her life would have been like had she married Tommy. Sure, they would have been working middle class, but she was fine with that. Coming from money didn’t make you fulfilled. Didn’t mean anything either. It was values. It was passion and love…and family. The rest of her family didn’t know about her past, only Tyson, her husband, did. Many a night she’d awakened to her screams with tears streaming down her face. He understood and he was there for her.

  She’d met Tyson when she was in medical school. Both were studying at the Vanderbilt University School of Medicine in Nashville, Tennessee. She had wanted to be a doctor, but once she met Tyson and fell in love, she wanted to start a family. So she used her credits to get her Registered Nursing degree. They had a great life together; he was a great father and husband. But…he wasn’t Tommy. She still held on to Tommy in some sense, and Tyson understood.

  “I’m afraid I have to get going.” She heard her father’s rough voice saying his goodbyes. Smiling, she stood and gave him a hug.

  “Thank you for coming, Dad,” she said. He gave her a smile and began to kiss the grandkids and great-grandchildren goodbye.

  “I’ll walk you out, Pops. We have to get going soon, too. Bath and bed-times are coming up.” Tyson Jr. chimed in as Grace nodded. Hunter, their oldest child, ran to his grandpa Tyson and hugged his leg. Maggie who had just turned two only a few months ago raised her arms to be picked up by her father. Grace stood and began to hug her brothers- and sisters-in-law good-bye.

  “It was a great day, we enjoyed it,” Grace said as she hugged Helen.

  Chuckling, Helen replied, “It’s always a great day when I have my beautiful family here.”

  Brent lifted Jaxon, their oldest son, from his mother’s lap where he was beginning to fall asleep. He extended a hand to his wife Abigail as she laughed and pulled herself up with his help. She looked like she was smuggling a basketball under her shirt. Any day now, really. They wanted to be surprised and didn’t know what she was having, or how many. It reminded Helen of how she’d felt when she was pregnant all those years ago.

  “Thanks, Mom. I’d better get these two home as well. Have to work tomorrow,” Brent said as he gave her a hug while still holding Jaxon, who was seconds from falling asleep. Kissing Jaxon’s forehead and hugging Brent, then Abigail, Helen smiled.

  “Thank you so much for coming and making my day wonderful. Happy Mother’s Day, girls,” she said to both of her daughters-in-law.

  After kissing and hugging everyone good-bye, Helen and Tyson Sr. stood on the veranda watching them get into their cars to leave. Her father waved from his car window and pulled out of the drive. She laid her head on Tyson’s shoulder and sighed.

  “Something wrong, Helen?” he asked as he looped an arm around her back, gently rubbing the side of her arm.

  She shook her head before responding, “No, just thinking, that’s all. I had a great day. I always do when the kids come. Did you see how big Maggie has gotten s
ince last month?” she said as she looked up at him, smiling.

  He returned the smile and nodded. “They grow fast, that they do. We raised some great boys, and they sure got lucky with their wives, just like I did.”

  Kissing her forehead, he held her to him. She knew he had so much love for her. He’d bumped into her going to the chemistry lab that day in college and she was thankful for him knocking her papers everywhere. Otherwise, he may never have gotten up the nerve to talk to her, she could tell by his nerves that day.

  “Let’s go in before these mosquitoes eat us alive,” he said with a light laugh. She swatted her arm just as he said that and they turned to enter the house.

  The thunder had begun shortly after everyone had left and Helen prayed her family arrived at their homes safe and sound. She closed and locked the door to the house, turning off the porch lights and going into the family room to take a seat next to her husband in her regular place. He had his recliner, she had hers. As he switched on the television they began to talk about what to watch that Sunday night.

  “I heard there is a game tonight,” he suggested. She smiled and nodded.

  “You watch your game, I have some reading to catch up on, anyway.” She reached down into the end table’s drawer and pulled out her latest Danielle Steel novel, opening it to where she’d placed her bookmark.

  “Are you sure? It’s Mother’s Day. You should have control over the remote.”

  She shook her head. “Honestly, nothing is on that interests me. Go ahead.”

  The sounds from the squeaks of sneakers on a gym floor started as he watched the basketball game. Sports never did interest her much. She’d watch football occasionally, but found it hard to keep up with. As she delved deeper into her book, she barely heard the phone ring. It wasn’t until Tyson began speaking that she realized he was on the phone.

  “Yes, I understand. I’ll be there in ten minutes,” he said into the receiver as she placed her bookmark back in her book to mark her page before closing it. He stood quickly and put the phone back down before looking at her and sighing.

  “Helen, sweetheart. Your father has been in an accident. From what I understand it isn’t major, but they called me, knowing he’s family. He’s stable right now, but I do not know the extent of his injuries.”

  Before he could continue after the word ‘accident’ she had risen from the couch, as he took her hands in his, explaining. Her face was full of horror and she raised a hand to her open mouth as she listened. “We-we have to go! Now!” she said as she fumbled to move around him. He nodded and rushed to grab his keys. She grabbed the umbrella from the closet and stood waiting by the door.

  Soon, they were pulling into the University Medical Center in town. Her heart was pounding away in her chest as she worried about her father. Once the doors slid open she rushed inside with Tyson trailing behind her. The rain had subsided slightly and their shoes made squishy sounds down the linoleum hallway. They approached the nurses’ desk in the emergency room, and her voice was shaky as she began. “Yes, I’m here for Joseph. Joseph Burrow. My husband…he…he’s a doctor. Dr. Morrison.”

  The nurse nodded and grabbed a file, motioning them to follow her. “Yes, ma’am. This way.” They followed as she entered trauma room three, Helen rushed to her father’s side while Tyson took the file and looked it over. Joseph grumbled and flinched as she startled him. Taking his hand in hers, a tear fell from her eye. “Dad, are you okay? What happened?”

  “We have him sedated because of the pain, Mrs. Morrison.”

  “What happened? Was it his fault? How badly is he hurt?” Helen pleaded for answers. Tyson nodded to the nurse as she left, probably assuming that Helen’s husband would explain it to her.

  “It says here that he has a severe fracture in the lower tibia and trauma to the ankle joint. Lacerations and contusions across his chest, due to the airbag and steering column. His left shoulder was dislocated but they fixed that early on. He’s in the neck brace for now just as a precaution. No internal bleeding. Stable heart rate and pressure. Says that he was hit from passenger side impact.” As he placed the folder on a nearby rolling table, he went over to her and rubbed her shoulders as she looked at her father.

  “Will he be okay?” she asked weakly as she held Joseph’s hand while he slept.

  “I’m almost certain he will.” Tyson reassured her, placing a hand on each of her shoulders. She brought her free hand up to cover one of his, and sobbed, partly from fear and partly from relief that it wasn’t any worse than this. Since losing her mother she and her father had become closer than they ever had been. She’d always been a daddy’s girl, but now he was the only parent she had left. It was rare that she talked to her siblings. Closing her eyes she said a silent prayer as the nurses continued to get him comfortable and worked on getting him set up with IV’s and equipment. It was going to be a long night.

  Chapter Two

  Marissa grabbed her keys and turned around, remembering she needed her wallet. An exhausted sigh left her mouth as she bustled around the house looking for her phone and purse. If her head wasn’t attached, she’d lose that, too.

  “Looking for this?” Her daughter held Marissa’s purse in her hand, extending it with a smile.

  Stopping dead in her tracks Marissa turned and shook her head. “Where was it this time?”

  “Same as always, Momma. In the kitchen.”

  Sighing, she nodded and took her purse, placing it on her shoulder and looking around for her phone.

  “Check your purse.” Sophia suggested.

  Narrowing her eyes slightly she did as her daughter suggested. There it was…phone, and wallet as well. Letting out a small laugh, she sighed. “Wow, I’m really losing it.”

  Tapping her watch, Sophia reminded her. “Not losing it but we’ll be late if we don’t leave now.”

  Marissa had no idea what she’d do without her little girl. Only nine years old, but so very wise and smart for her age.

  As soon as they were in the car, she got ready to start her car and remembered her car keys were in her pocket. Quickly reaching for them and starting her small car, they pulled away from the drive. “Buckle up, Soph,” she said into the rearview mirror.

  “Done, Momma.” The little girl smiled back at her mother before looking out the window to watch the trees pass. Same routine every Tuesday. Doctor appointments, more tests, more waiting. Marissa had been having trouble with her kidneys for two years now, and her doctor was working closely with her to make sure it did not get worse. Sophia had watched her mother take numerous medications and go through numerous rounds of dialysis which all seemed to help--until she’d have another flare up and the problems would be back.

  They arrived at the office where Dr. Carlos Martinez practiced. The silver-plated sign with his name above the small window of the door showed the correct door among the many doors that all looked the same. The offices housed a cluster of doctors all specializing in different things. She held the door open for Sophia, then entered herself as the door closed behind her. Sophia took a seat in the waiting area as she always did and pulled out her small handheld game system. It kept her occupied.

  “Marissa Hayes, for the two o’clock with Dr. Martinez,” she said to the receptionist who took the correct file and placed it on the desk.

  “Insurance still the same?”

  Marissa nodded.

  “Sign in please.” The receptionist said, handing her a pen. Marissa signed her name and placed the pen back on the desk as the woman stood and removed the sticky note with her name, placing it on a different clipboard behind the desk. The medical laws were getting stricter about what doctor’s offices had to do to ensure the privacy of patients. She nodded and smiled after the receptionist said they’d see her soon. Making her way to where Sophia sat, she sat down and watched her daughter play the game.

  “Are you winning?”

  “Eh, not this round. I’ve been stuck for a while,” Sophia said without taking her
gaze from the small screen.

  Smiling and turning to the side table full of magazines, Marissa pulled one from the pile. “Oh! Look. Britney Spears and Justin broke up,” she said playfully to her daughter, pointing to the magazine cover.

  Her daughter giggled and added, “Yeah Momma, where’ve you been? That’s been since March.” Sophia playfully shook her head at her mother’s lack of familiarity with the latest Hollywood news.

  Placing the magazine back down and grinning, Marissa placed an arm around her daughter’s shoulders. “By the way, those roses were beautiful. I want to thank you again for such a great Mother’s Day gift. Did Grandma help you pick them out?”

  “No, I picked them by myself…but she just might have loaned me the cash,” Sophia said before giggling again.

  “Miss Hayes.” The nurse called out Marissa’s name as she opened the door leading to the back room. Sophia and Marissa stood and began to walk toward her. Marissa had become good friends with this nurse, because of Marissa’s frequent doctor’s visits. They spent lots of time together and their children played together.

  “Lyndsay, good to see you. Have a great Mother’s Day this weekend?” Marissa asked as they walked down the hall.

  “Oh yes! Girl, I was treated like a queen, but that should be every day,” Lyndsay said as she let out a laugh and playfully hit Marissa’s shoulder.

  “Don’t they get that?” Marissa said, smiling.

  “Ms. Lynsday! When can Samantha and I play again?” Sophia chimed in, excited.

  “Well, soon, of course!” she said as she hugged Sophia. “I’ll tell her you said ‘hi’, okay?” Sophia nodded. Lyndsay opened the door to the exam room and stood aside for them to enter. “Dr. Martinez will be in soon, okay?” Marissa nodded and took her purse from her shoulder, placing it on the table off to the side. Sophia took a seat on the chair as her mother hopped onto the exam table. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Marissa prayed for good news. Her thoughts were interrupted when Dr. Martinez opened the door wearing his famous smile. She’d been seeing him for the last year, getting her kidneys under control.