Circle of Secrets

by Lauren Tisdale

  “It’s time.” Mike’s voice interrupted her looking at herself as he poked his head in the door with a smile. She nodded and inhaled deeply, then smiled. Susanne handed her the bouquet of lilies, orchids and roses in summer colors with a teal ribbon wrapped around the stem that she held. On her right hand she still wore the diamond ring Tommy had given Helen so many years ago.

  Chantelle and Lyndsay were escorted down the makeshift aisle of petals on the beach, guests on each side sat in white folding chairs and watched as they ascended towards the altar. Carlos stood next to the Officiant awaiting Marissa with his hands held together in front of him. His parents sat in the front row, Rosa shedding tears that she wiped occasionally. Helen and Susanne had been ushered to their seats on Marissa’s side of the aisle. Many of Carlos’ friends and co-workers sat on his side, supporting him on his big day. Sophia walked down with one of Lyndsay’s older sons, a bright smile on her face. The music changed to the wedding march and everyone stood to honor the bride. Marissa looked up at Mike and blew out a slow breath, holding onto the crook of her father’s arm.

  “Hold tight Princess, I won’t let you fall.”

  Besides her heels being so high, walking on sand was going to be difficult. She realized that and stopped him from walking. “Wait.”

  “You changing your mind?”

  She laughed and shook her head no, then peeled the heels from her feet, setting them aside on the patio. The music continued to play and everyone waited and watched for Marissa. She smiled at her father and he chuckled, taking her hand and placing it on his arm again and began to walk. Once her bare feet hit the soft sand, she closed her eyes and savored her great decision to take the heels off.

  Turning the corner, she saw all of their family and friends standing and awaiting her. Her smile grew bigger as she locked eyes with Carlos and never took them off of him.

  Mike led her down the aisle towards Carlos and everyone watched, commenting on how beautiful she was; Rose teared up more. Once they reached the front, the officiant spoke, “Who gives this woman away today?”

  “Her mothers and I do.” Mike said confidently and the officiant nodded. Mike took Marissa’s hand and placed it into Carlos’ hand and stepped back to his seat next to Susanne. Helen smiled at him and then looked back at the couple. She wished Tommy could have seen his daughter get married. Tyson took her hand and squeezed gently. Her father would have loved to see his granddaughter get married, but they were all here in spirit, even her mother. Her sons and their wives and children sat behind them all watching as Marissa became Carlos’ wife. After the officiant said his piece he announced that the couple wanted to recite their own vows. Marissa turned and handed Chantelle her bouquet and in turn Chantelle handed her a folded piece of paper she had held for her. The officiant looked at Marissa first so she began.

  “All my life I never knew who I was, as a person, I mean. I was trying to find myself and where I belonged, until I met you. You brought something out in me that I didn’t even know was there myself. You helped me grow stronger, more confident and you made me realize there is truth in happily ever afters. I want to grow old with you and make you happy every day.” Her lip quivered and her voice broke as she swallowed and blew out a breath to continue. “I want to be behind you in everything you decide to do and help you succeed in doing them. I love you with my full heart and soul and I can’t wait to start our life together.”

  Carlos swallowed and continued to hold her hand in his own, listening to her words. He reached into his pocket and fished out his own folded piece of paper and began to speak and recite his own vows. “I never thought I could be this happy. Seeing you smile makes me smile, your laugh makes me laugh. I love everything about you and I think I always have. Ever since the day I first met you, I knew there was something about you, there was this pull to you that I couldn’t explain. You’re an amazing woman, I’ve been blessed by the gods and have been granted the best luck in the world, and I’m not even Irish.” Everyone laughed and he smiled, then continued. “I love you with all that I am, and all that we are together. Without question, you are it. You are the one and I cannot wait to grow old with you and see what our future brings us. Wherever you are, that’s where home is. You and Sophia are my world, my home.” Marissa wiped a tear from her cheek and smiled up at him. He slid the paper back into his pocket and wiped the other side of her face then took both of her hands into his own and repeated after the officiant. Marissa did the same and then presented his ring to him, sliding it on his ring finger while she looked into his eyes. He took her hand and slid her wedding band onto her finger while promising for better or for worse.

  “I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss your bride.” Carlos smiled and stepped closer to Marissa, pulling her against his chest and lowering his head to claim her lips in a soft kiss that lingered for a few beats. Everyone stood and applauded, watching the couple exchange a kiss. Tears ran down cheeks, eyes were misty and smiles were all around. Breaking the kiss, they both turned hand in hand and proceeded down the aisle, followed by the bridesmaids and groomsmen.

  Once they arrived at the reception in the limo, Carlos took a moment to place his hand on the side of her face and kiss her deeply for the longest time. Everyone had arrived and were now waiting on their entrance. When he pulled back and looked into her eyes, she felt like her breath had caught in her throat. “We’re…married,” she said, thinking out loud.

  He chuckled and nodded. “I guess we are. How do you feel?”

  “I feel…amazing. I’ve never loved anyone more than I love you.”

  “Let’s go greet our guests, Mrs. Martinez.”

  She smiled brightly and nodded, excited. When they entered the room, the DJ announced the couple as Dr. and Mrs. Carlos Martinez and everyone applauded. The beats to their first dance began and Carlos led her onto the dance floor and pulled her close to him, swaying to the song. Everyone watched them in awe as the couple danced and looked at one another longingly. It was as if they were all alone in their own little world, no one else around at all.

  “I love you,” he whispered and she smiled, placing her forehead against his and continued to sway.

  “I love you, too,” she whispered back.

  After toasts, dancing, bouquet and the garter toss they were roaming around socializing with all of their guests. The food being served smelled so good and the taste was out of this world. After Marissa shared a dance with her father, he pulled her to the side and Susanne approached them with a smile.

  Carlos made his way over and Mike handed Carlos a small packet of papers. “Inside are passports and travel information. Tickets and instructions as well. Congratulations on the wedding, your mother and I are sending you two on a honeymoon to Costa Rica. You’re going to stay at the Playa Nicuesa Rainforest Lodge in a private wooden cabin.”

  Marissa just gaped at her father and didn’t know what to say. Carlos exchanged a look with Marissa then looked back at Mike.

  “Wow, I—I can’t…Mike, Susanne…thank you. Really.”

  “Mom, Dad…are you serious? This must have cost a fortune!”

  “Don’t worry about that, I’ve had that money put aside for your wedding since you were born. Trust me.” Susanne chuckled and nodded. Marissa looked at the tickets and shook her head.

  “This is amazing, oh my God, thank you! I love you both so much. What about Sophia?”

  “Well, about that. She was actually going to stay with us until Helen offered for her to spend the summer in Tennessee, providing that you two okay that.”

  Marissa exchanged a look with Carlos and then looked back at her parents.

  “I don’t see a problem with that. Does Sophia want to?”

  “Seems to. She’s excited about spending time with the new baby Olivia.”

  Marissa laughed and nodded, “I’ll speak to Helen about it and let you know before we leave. Wait, when do we leave?”

  “Tomorrow night.” Mike answered.

>   “Tomorrow night? Wow, uh that’s like, soon.”

  They all laughed and Mike nodded. “It’s your honeymoon, of course it’s soon.”

  Marissa hugged her father tightly and then her mother, Carlos did the same.

  “We really do appreciate this, this is spectacular. Good thing I’m off for a week for the wedding.” He grinned and looked down at Marissa. She smiled and poked his chest.

  “You’d better be, mister.” Giving him a playful wink she spotted Helen and Tyson dancing to the slow song playing and smiled. She could tell that they were in love but she wondered what it would be like if Tommy were here. To meet and dance with him. When the song ended and Tyson went to get another drink Marissa excused herself from the others and went over to talk to Helen.

  “Helen? I mean, Mom?” She smiled and shook her head, trying to get used to calling two women mom. Helen turned and smiled, reaching out to hug her daughter.

  “You looked so beautiful today, it was a touching ceremony. I’m so happy for you, we all are.”

  “Thank you. I couldn’t have done it without you here, I’m so glad everyone could make it. Listen, I heard you might be interested in having Sophia over during this summer break. Is that true or is she exaggerating again?” she asked with a chuckle.

  Helen smiled. “She did mention it and I offered to have her to come over. Sophia seems to love the children. I hope that’s okay, I mean I didn’t mean to cross any boundaries.”

  “Oh no, not at all. I just wanted to make sure that it was okay. Anytime you’d like to have her over I’m fine with it. So is Carlos. So I guess it’s set, she’ll stay in Tennessee with you while we are on our honeymoon.”

  “Your honeymoon? Oh, wonderful. Where have you two decided to go?”

  “Well, we were just surprised by my parents with a honeymoon to Costa Rica.”

  “Costa Rica! Wow, that’s amazing, Marissa. You’re going to have a blast, just please be careful. I’ll speak with Susanne and we’ll work something out, I promise.”

  “Thanks, Helen…I mean, Mom. Sorry, it just takes some getting used to.”

  Helen smiled and nodded, pulled her into a hug and said, “You take as much time as you need and call me whatever you feel more comfortable with. Just know I love you and I’ll always be here for you.”

  Marissa held onto her mother tightly and closed her eyes. “Thank you, for everything. You’ve given me so much.”

  “No, no…you’ve given me my faith back.” Helen pulled back and cupped her face. “You’ve given me a part of myself I thought I’d lost forever.” Marissa smiled and hugged her again. Her life was finally, finally complete. There seemed to be a future for her and she thanked God silently for giving her everything she could have dreamed of….and more.

  * * * *

  A long relaxing week of being in Costa Rica had Marissa missing home and her family. Carlos was eager to return to work, it made him happy--saving lives. The island they stayed on was beautiful in so many words. The wooden balcony overlooked a landscape that took their breath away, especially during sunrise hours. The time away from reality was nice and it allowed her to connect deeper to Carlos in ways even she didn’t think possible. She stood on the balcony holding the coffee mug in her hands as the steam rose slowly from the cup. His arms wrapped around her waist from behind and kissed her neck, and she smiled and continued to watch the sun rise over the horizon. “It’s so beautiful,” she said softly and leaned back against his chest, running a hand along his arm that was around her waist.

  “Yes, you are.” He chuckled. “Oh, you meant the sunrise. That, too.”

  She shook her head and smiled brightly, turning her head to the side and up so that she could kiss him.

  He placed a sweet kiss on her lips and teased her before fully claiming her mouth, causing her to turn in his arms to deepen their kiss. His tongue massaged hers in a passionate rhythm while his hands clutched her sleep shirt then moved up to cup her face and the kiss became hot and demanding. Soon her back touched the wall and his fingers found the hem of her sleep shirt, pulling it over her head and breaking the kiss only long enough to shed the material standing between him and her luscious skin. Never had he kissed her with such hunger, such need and ferocity. She moaned into his mouth and held onto his shoulders as he lifted her, wrapping her legs around his waist and linking them at the ankle. He moved them to the bed without letting go of her. His mouth causing searing heat to rise at every spot he kissed; her jaw, her collarbone, her breast. His tongue teased relentlessly between her legs as she cried out, the sensations washing over her in waves. Her back bowed up as he kissed his way back up, making her skin ignite with heat with every kiss he placed. When he entered her, skin against skin, she gasped and held onto his arms tightly. The pleasure he gave her was out of this world, making it much more passionate because of the love they shared. He was her everything, her future, her forever. That morning they spent in a hot, needed desire that had spontaneously erupted and made her shiver at remembering it. Their lovemaking seemed to go on for hours, before she knew it, it was lunch. He claimed she was insatiable and she blamed it on him being so irresistible. Her health was so much better now, it made their vacation even better.

  She smiled and touched her lips, closing her eyes and remembering. He placed his hand over hers and gave it a squeeze as the stewardess refilled his drink. Marissa opened her eyes and looked over at him with a grin. They were on their way home from a long week away and that morning’s events were still replaying in her mind, same as most of their days. She couldn’t get enough of him, relishing the way he held her in his arms, every time he kissed her with such passion it made her head swim and knees get shaky. She was so in love with this man, she was so lucky.

  When they finally arrived back home, Helen called to see how their trip had gone and Marissa told her about the things they had done and seen. Snorkeling had been her favorite pastime, among other things that caused her to blush at the thought. Helen said she’d be back with Sophia that weekend to give them time to unpack and sort things out. Sophia was excited to talk to her again and ask what they did. Marissa told her about the trip and Sophia squealed with delight, wanting to know every detail. When Marissa mentioned pictures, her daughter became ecstatic and couldn’t wait to see everything. They’d bought a few things from the island for Sophia and couldn’t wait to see her face when they gave them to her. Marissa promised to see her soon and ended the call, sighing an exhausted jet-lagged sigh she stretched out on the couch, soon falling asleep.

  That weekend couldn’t come fast enough, and they finally had Sophia home. She wouldn’t stop talking about her visit with Helen in Tennessee. Olivia was growing so much and would be turning one soon. Sophia talked about getting to play with the other kids, and even though they were much younger than her, she’d had fun and baked cookies with Grace and Abby when they came over. Marissa was so happy to hear they had fun.

  “I’m gonna go check on my plants, Grandma Helen says I should water them regularly.” Sophia smiled proudly and grabbed her watering can then headed outside. Carlos would be home soon and Marissa decided to get up to get dinner started and wait for him to return before they gave Sophia her gifts. As the meat seared in the pan, she felt a bit of nausea hit her hard and clutched the sink. The smell of the food was foul and made her stomach turn, and she felt dizzy and sat down, closing her eyes and taking long, slow deep breaths. This feeling was all too familiar, she’d always seemed to get nauseated when her kidneys would start acting up. Pressing her lips together hard she said a silent prayer that it wasn’t starting again, not now, not when she was so happy. The prayer was short-lived as she stood and rushed to the bathroom, spewing lunch into the toilet.

  After twenty minutes, she began to feel better. Returning to the kitchen she finished cooking and occasionally a tear fell from her eyes.

  “Are you okay Momma?” Sophia questioned as she entered the kitchen with her gardening tools.

  “Oh yeah
, of course. Just thinking of some things. Nothing bad, I promise.” Sophia nodded and continued on her way to wash up and get ready for dinner. Carlos made it home in time for dinner and she smiled, greeting him at the door with a warm hug and sweet kiss. Dinner was spent talking about their trip, Sophia’s visit in Tennessee and her plans to go to Susanne and Mike’s house for the two weeks with Sam like she had the past few summers. Marissa promised she’d speak to her mom about it and after dinner they surprised Sophia with a shell bracelet and necklace, a t-shirt with a beach scene on the back and her name airbrushed on the front left side breast. She was overjoyed with the gifts and thanked them numerous times.

  After her bath, Sophia begged Marissa to let her wear the t-shirt to bed and of course she couldn’t say no. “Wait until Sam sees this! She’s gonna be so stoked.”

  Marissa smiled and nodded, “Oh yeah, I’m sure she will.”

  Carlos and Marissa had established a nighttime routine with Sophia that she loved. They both tucked her in and she insisted she was too old for stories, which they respected. Instead, they talked about whatever she wanted. Sophia snuggled down in her bed and smiled up at Carlos. “Do I call you Daddy now?”