She wanted his heart.
Nine
Jennifer walked into her office, her whole body aching as if it had been dragged behind a car. She could hear Alex’s voice down the hall and her chest tightened. How was she ever going to face him?
She didn’t get much of a chance to think about it. As if he’d known by instinct she had arrived, he walked into her office as she was taking off her coat. She looked up. Unable to read his expression, she walked behind her desk and sat down.
“I need to talk to you, Jen,” Alex said, approaching her desk. “I’d like to apologize for last night.”
She winced at the mention of their interlude in his office. What could she say to excuse her behavior? “It was my fault—”
Alex threw himself into a chair. Sitting forward, he balanced his chin on the tips of his fingers and stared directly into her eyes. “Dammit, Jennifer, don’t.” Guilt paralyzed him.
Jennifer couldn’t look away as a rush of tears sprang into her eyes. “Alex—”
“I’m the one who is responsible for everything that’s happened between us. Not you,” he told her, his tone harsh. But his anger was clearly self-inflicted. “In Vermont, I agreed not to touch you when we returned home. These past few days it was obvious you weren’t having any trouble living up to our agreement. I was the one struggling with keeping our relationship restricted to business.”
He shook his head, then pinned her with another hard stare. “You have my word I won’t step over the line with you again.”
She nodded, trying to think of what to say. He thought she didn’t want him. But he was so wrong, so terribly wrong.
Before she could speak, her telephone rang. She pushed the intercom button. “Paige, please hold my calls.”
“Jennifer, you might want to take this. It’s your sister and she says it’s an emergency.”
Alarmed, Jennifer picked up the telephone. “Lil?” She listened for a moment, then fell back into her chair when her sister explained her father had fallen ill. “Oh, my God! Where is he?” she asked, barely able to get the words out. After listening another minute she put the receiver down and yanked open her desk drawer where she’d put her purse only moments ago. When she stood, her legs almost gave out beneath her.
Alex had been watching her the whole time she was on the telephone. It was obvious from her agonizing expression she’d received bad news. “What is it?” he asked, his tone gentle now as his concern for Jennifer grew.
Jennifer blinked away tears. “My father. They think he’s had a heart attack.” She opened her purse and searched for her keys. “I’ve got to go. I’ve got to get to him before…” She didn’t finish the sentence. Unable to locate her keys, she panicked and dumped the entire contents of her purse onto her desk. Spotting them, she snatched them up. Without bothering to gather the rest of her things, she started around the desk for the door.
Grabbing her by the arm, Alex stopped her as she tried to pass him. “I’ll drive you.”
“No, I—”
“Don’t argue with me. You’re in no condition to drive,” he insisted, not wanting anything to happen to her. Then, he added, “Let me, please.”
Numb, Jennifer nodded. “All right.”
Alex grabbed her coat as they left and helped her into it in the elevator. By the time they were in his car, she’d begun crying softly. Heading out of the garage, he asked, “Where is he?”
She glanced in his direction. “The hospital on Colley Avenue.”
Good. Only a few miles from their office. “We’ll be there in just a few minutes.” She didn’t answer, just clutched a tissue and dabbed at her eyes. Alex wished he could say something to make her feel better. He reached over and took her hand. “Try not to worry.”
“I can’t help it.” She sniffed. “My dad is just so full of life. I never…never even thought about anything happening to him.” It was hard to get the words out, hard to think her father could actually die.
Her suffering was painful to watch. Alex couldn’t imagine what she was going through. He wasn’t close to either of his parents. It made him wonder what he’d be feeling if something happened to either one of them. “Did your sister…Lil, right? Did she say what happened?”
“He was helping a neighbor move some furniture and he just grabbed his chest and collapsed. They called 9-1-1 and paramedics arrived on the scene very quickly. My mom was there by then, Lil said. She went with them to the hospital, then called my sister.”
“So your mother should have someone with her now?”
“I don’t know. Lil lives in Ghent. She may already be there.”
“Try not to worry,” he told her as he made a left onto the street that led to the hospital’s parking lot.
“Thanks for the ride, Alex. You can let me out in front. Someone can give me a ride back to my car,” Jennifer said, not wanting to tie up the rest of Alex’s evening.
Alex shot her a dark look. “I’m going in with you.” He told himself it was the least he could do for her, but the truth was he couldn’t leave her in her present condition. She was hurting and he wanted to be there for her, which totally floored him. Before he had time to think about the reasons, he’d pulled into a parking space and shut off the engine.
Jennifer nodded, deeply relieved. She hadn’t been looking forward to walking inside alone. By the time she was out of the car, as if she’d lost most of her strength, her body refused to cooperate. Her nerves felt stretched to the limit. Alex took her by the arm, leading her to the emergency entrance of the hospital.
“Mom!” Jennifer cried, spotting her mother as they stepped inside. “How is Dad? Have you heard anything?”
The woman who approached them was shorter than her daughter, with a short, stylish haircut and very attractive features. Her eyes were swollen with tears. “Oh, honey, I’m so glad to see you.” The two women hugged. “We don’t know anything yet. I was with your father until just a few minutes ago when they sent him for tests. Tony arrived moments later. He’s talking to the attending physician to find out what he can. They asked me to step out until they’re done.”
The tightness in Jennifer’s shoulders relaxed a little. Although her brother worked at another hospital, she knew he’d be able to find out her father’s status a lot faster than they would. With tears in her eyes, she said, “Mom, this is Alex Dunnigan, my boss. He drove me here. Alex, my mom, Janet Cardon.”
Janet Cardon took Alex’s hand in both of hers and patted it gently. “Alex, it was kind of you to look after Jennifer. Thank you so much,” she said, her tone grateful. “I appreciate your being here with her.”
“It was my pleasure, Mrs. Cardon,” Alex assured her, amazed at the woman’s ability to make him feel so at ease with just her expression. It took the sting out of Jennifer’s description of him as her boss. More proof she’d moved past the intimate weekend they’d shared and he hadn’t.
“Please, call me Janet.”
“How was Dad when you were with him?” Jennifer sniffed, trying to hold back a fresh wave of tears.
“Sedated. He didn’t say anything during the ride here,” she answered solemnly.
Looking around for her sister, but not seeing her, Jennifer asked, “Lil’s not here yet?”
“She should be arriving any minute. She had to make arrangements to leave the children with a neighbor.” The words were barely out of her mouth before Janet glanced over their shoulders to see her oldest daughter. “Here she is now.”
Jennifer turned and waved to her sister, who rushed to join their group. Alex stood by Jennifer’s side as she hugged both her sister and the man who had arrived with her. Still fighting tears, she turned toward him. “Alex, this is my sister, Lil, and her husband Robert Kanton.” Her voice broke as she made the introductions.
He shook both of their hands. Lil Kanton resembled Jennifer some, but she could have been cut from the same cloth as her mother. Her brown hair was cut short like Janet’s, giving her a stylish, sophisticat
ed look for someone who was twenty years or so younger. The man with her appeared older than Alex, graying at the temples, and at least ten years older than Lil.
“It’s nice to meet you, Alex,” Lil said, shooting a look to her sister that he couldn’t read.
“Thank you. I’m sorry it’s under such trying circumstances.”
As Janet filled Robert and Lil in on what was happening to her husband, Alex stood quietly beside Jennifer. He wasn’t sure what to think about the way this family pulled together over a crisis. It amazed him. And made him aware of his own disappointment in not having a family to rely on. He knew if it was him back there in the examination area, he wouldn’t have one person waiting out here for him.
His gaze went to Jennifer, who was still clearly upset. He put his arm around her and pulled her to him. She buried her face against his shoulder and cried. The muffled sounds racked him with pain. He’d never felt so helpless. Alex held her in his arms until her sobbing slowed. When she looked at him, her eyes were red, her cheeks tear-streaked.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Don’t worry about it. You needed to let that out,” he said softly, wishing he had the right to kiss her tears away. He stopped himself from pulling her back into his arms.
They’d become quite a large group standing in the middle of the room. Janet directed them to a group of chairs in the far corner where they wouldn’t be in the way of others.
Jennifer turned to Alex as he sat beside her. “Are you all right?” she asked.
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”
She rolled her eyes. “Alex, it isn’t as if you’re used to being in this type of situation every day.”
“You have a nice family,” he commented. Each of them had been friendly to him. “You’re lucky to have them.” Just because he’d never had that kind of support and love, didn’t mean he didn’t recognize its value for Jennifer. “How about you?” he asked, stroking her hand with his thumb.
“I just wish Tony would come out and let us know something,” she said, trying to ignore the shivers of awareness stealing through her at his touch.
Offering her comfort, Alex put his arm around her. “You’ll find out something soon.”
His strength was just what she needed. It was all she could do not to lay her head on his shoulder. “I hope so.”
“Would you like something? Some coffee or a soda?” he asked, wanting her to be as comfortable as she could be.
Giving him a brief smile, Jennifer answered, “My throat is dry. A diet soda would be nice.”
“Be right back.”
As soon as he was out of his seat, her sister got up from hers and sat down beside Jennifer. “My goodness, Jen, your boss is gorgeous.”
“Lil, don’t start,” Jennifer warned her. “He’s just being nice. That’s all.”
“Yeah, right,” Lil scoffed. “Everyone has a boss who drops everything at work to take their employee to the hospital.”
“He didn’t want me to drive while I was upset.”
“Ah. That’s why he had his arm around you, too, right?”
Jennifer smiled, despite herself. “Stop.”
“He’s got the hots for you, baby sister.”
Maybe he does, Jennifer thought. But she wanted more than a man who lusted for her. “You’re wrong,” she said.
“Oh, please. Are you going to tell me you feel nothing for that man?”
“I’ve worked with him for five years,” Jennifer answered, and tried to keep from sounding defensive.
Lil chuckled. “You didn’t answer my question.” She was studying her sister’s expression, then suddenly, she leaned closer. “Sheesh, Jen, I was just giving you a hard time. But you’re crazy about him, aren’t you?”
“No!” Jennifer knew she’d answered much too quickly. Lil had always been astute at reading her. With frustration, she realized she had no chance at all of fooling her sister. Her gaze searched the room to be sure no one was paying them any attention. Her mother was involved in a discussion with Robert, so Jennifer said quietly, “There’s really no hope of a future with Alex. He’s a confirmed bachelor.”
“All men are, honey. Robert didn’t want anything to do with marriage and kids. He’d been adopted, and he’d never gotten over his mother giving him up at birth.” She glanced at her husband. “I loved him enough to wait until he figured out he couldn’t live without me.”
Jennifer looked at Robert, then back at her sister. “He’s so sweet. You’re lucky, you know.” There was a wistfulness to her tone. “You’ve got it all. A great husband, kids, a wonderful house. And now a baby on the way.”
“You’ll have that one day, too,” Lil said.
“I don’t think so.”
Not with Alex.
“Here you go.”
Alex stood in front of Jennifer and she looked up as she accepted a soda from him. His arms held sodas, his hands coffee. “You’re gonna drink all that?” she asked with a smile.
“No, but I thought someone else might want something.”
“That was so thoughtful, Alex. Thank you.” She helped him to unload his bounty and place it on the table beside her mother.
“There’s Tony,” Robert said a while later, and they all stood as he came over to them.
“Dad’s gonna be all right,” he said quickly, wanting to assuage their anxiety. “He didn’t have a heart attack.”
Jennifer held her mother’s hand. “What was it?” she asked.
“Angina.”
“Are they sure?” Janet asked, her expression still etched with worry.
“Yes.” Tony went into a full description of angina. “The doctors believe they’ve caught it early. Dad’ll have to change his diet and start exercising.” Tony put his arm around his mother and hugged her to him. “He’s going to be okay, Mom. Now you’ll get to nag him even more.” He grinned and encouraged a smile from her.
Janet laughed despite the tears of relief that ran down her cheeks. “I’m going to enjoy every minute of it, too.”
Everyone took turns asking Tony questions. Jennifer felt Alex’s hand on her shoulder, and she smiled at him. “I’m so relieved,” she whispered. To her brother, she said, “Tony, this is my boss, Alex Dunnigan.”
The two men shook hands and Alex met Tony’s gaze. It was obvious from his speculative expression he suspected there was something between him and Jennifer.
Alex swallowed past the hard knot in his throat. The only thing between him and Jennifer was lust. And apparently he was the only one lusting. Jennifer had stopped him from making love to her last night when they were in the office.
Tony excused himself and took his mother to see Jennifer’s father. Only two people were allowed at one time, so they all took turns until everyone had seen him. Alex cooled his heels waiting for Jennifer. Any other time he would have sat in one of the chairs and thumbed through a magazine, but each one of her family members went out of their way to include him in their conversations. Each time someone came out, they had more news of Jennifer’s father’s condition.
He was relieved when Jennifer came back to the waiting room. Not because he didn’t like talking with her family. He did. They seemed like really nice people. But he’d wanted to see her, needed to be sure she was all right.
“I’m ready to go, Alex,” she told him as she walked up to him.
“You’re father’s staying, then?” he asked.
She nodded. “They’re going to keep him overnight as a precaution. They want to do a stress test tomorrow morning.”
“What about your mother?”
“She refuses to leave.” Which surprised none of them. “She wants us to go home and get some sleep in case she needs us tomorrow.”
They said goodbye to everyone and walked out to the parking lot. She hadn’t expected Alex to stay with her. Jennifer was touched by his compassion when he’d held her while they’d awaited news of her father.
“I appreciate your staying with me
, Alex.”
“I was glad to do it. Your family is wonderful.” They gave him an insight into why Jennifer was so kind and thoughtful. After meeting her family, it was easy to see why she wanted forever with a man.
“You can take me back to my car,” she told him as they approached his vehicle.
“You sure?” he asked. “I can drive you home, then pick you up in the morning.”
“I think I’d like to have my car tonight. Everyone assured us my father would be all right, but I’d feel better knowing I had transportation if I needed it during the night.”
He nodded. Her reasoning made sense, but he fought the disappointment of not driving her home. “You look exhausted,” Alex noted as he pulled out of the parking garage.
“I am.” Jennifer rotated her head, stretching her neck muscles.
Alex reached across the seat and began to massage her shoulder. Jennifer sighed and rested her head back on the seat.
“Mmm, that feels great.”
“You’re really tense,” he commented. Now that the crisis was over, he was more aware than ever that he shouldn’t be touching her. He’d given his word he wouldn’t.
She turned her head to look at him. “Thanks again, Alex. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”
He shrugged. Glancing at her, he said, “Your family really pulls together in a crisis.”
She smiled. “They can be trying sometimes, but when there’s a crisis, we all pull together. I love them.”
He could see it in her eyes. “I’ve never known that kind of support,” he admitted, surprising himself.
“Really?” She thought for a moment. “What about a few years ago when you broke your ribs?” she asked, remembering when he’d fallen during a rock climbing venture when a strap hadn’t been secured by his partner.
“What about it?”
“Didn’t your father help you?”
He gave a harsh laugh. “Not hardly. I think his exact words were, ‘I told you to stop taking those kind of risks.’” Not exactly supportive. But then, his parents hadn’t never been there for him.
She sat straighter in her seat. “Are you saying when you broke your ribs you didn’t have anyone at home helping you?” Her tone indicated her anger. She couldn’t believe his parents had been so uncaring. No wonder he didn’t know what it was like to be part of a caring family.
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