He’d never had one.
Alex kept his gaze trained on the street. “I got along okay.”
Jennifer started at that. Meaning what? That he’d been involved with some woman who had fawned over him. The idea sent spikes of jealousy through her. And she had no right to feel jealous over Alex, did she? “Oh.”
He gave her a sidelong look. “What’s that oh for?”
“I just realized you probably had someone else there.” Maybe having a parent fret over him wasn’t what he’d wanted.
“Actually, I got along on my own. I’ve never lived with a woman.”
Jennifer absorbed that information. It pleased her. More than it should have. Still, loving him, it hurt to think he’d gone through such a rough time alone. “You should have had someone taking care of you.”
“It wasn’t that bad.”
“I wish I’d known,” she whispered.
Alex wished she had, too. He would have really enjoyed having her fuss over him. “Would you have taken care of me?”
She saw the twinkle in his eye, knew he was baiting her. “I would have at least checked in on you. Made sure you had help when you needed it.”
“I’m used to living alone. I don’t know any other way to live.”
His answer saddened her even more. Essentially he was telling her what she already knew. Alex had no plans to settle down with a wife and kids. His lifestyle confirmed it. Now he’d cemented it in her head.
No matter how much she loved him, he wasn’t going to ever change.
Until now, she’d still held out hope Alex would someday return her love. It was time to accept that he didn’t love her and to get on with her life.
Without him.
As they pulled into the office parking garage, she decided to wait a few more days, then she’d take a pregnancy test. That would make it three weeks since they’d made love. Surely by then, the results would be reliable. But whether she was pregnant or not, she needed to start thinking about leaving her job. She’d begin looking at other options of employment. She couldn’t continue working with Alex.
Because every day she did, her love for him grew deeper.
Alex waited until Jennifer pulled out of the parking garage in her car, then pulled out behind her. Worried she was too tired to drive, he followed her to her apartment to be sure she made it home all right. Once she was inside, he headed to his own condominium on the Chesapeake Bay.
Jennifer’s family had made quite an impression on him. He’d never seen that kind of bond between a family. It was so unlike his own he couldn’t stop thinking about how cordial they were, how easily they’d accepted him being there with Jennifer.
He wondered if he had what it would take to be a part of a family like hers. Alex frowned. Who was he trying to fool? He hadn’t been raised in a loving atmosphere, hadn’t been nurtured by his own parents, so what made him think he could nurture Jennifer?
He wasn’t the kind of man Jennifer needed. She wasn’t interested in a brief affair. She wanted a home and a family. Alex knew nothing about making a relationship last more than a few weeks. If he pursued a relationship with Jennifer, he’d only hurt her when he failed her.
And hurting Jennifer was the last thing he wanted to do.
Ten
The next morning Jennifer woke up with a vicious stomachache, the kind she often had when her period was due. But her period didn’t usually include nausea so arresting she thought dying might not be a bad idea. And she’d missed her period a week ago.
Oh, God.
Could she be pregnant?
She lay there a few more minutes, but instead of getting better, the nausea worsened. Flying off the bed, she rushed for the bathroom, barely making it before she lost what little was in her stomach.
Sweat beaded her forehead. Sitting on the edge of the tub, she wet a washcloth and pressed it to her head. Then she spotted the pregnancy test she’d left on her bathroom vanity. Until now, she hadn’t been able to bring herself to take it because she knew if it was positive, she wouldn’t be able to put off leaving her job any longer.
Now, she no longer had a choice.
Her stomach still whirling, she reached for the box. Minutes later her suspicions were confirmed.
She was pregnant—with Alex’s baby.
The delight she should have felt was assuaged by the knowledge that she would never be able to share this happy moment with him. Even if there was a chance he’d want to be a father to their child, Jennifer knew if she told him the truth, that she’d gone on the ski trip with him because she’d wanted to get pregnant, he would never believe she had tried to confess to him before they made love.
Gathering her strength, she got up and shuffled to the kitchen. She’d heard that dry toast and tea might relieve the symptoms of morning sickness. It was all she could do to wait for the microwave to heat the water for the tea. By the time it was ready, she was no longer interested in drinking it.
A new wave of nausea hit her and she carried the toast and tea to her bedroom, placed it on an end table and climbed back into bed. She’d lay there just until she could get the toast down, then she’d get ready for work. Glancing at the clock, she figured she’d only be a half hour or so late.
After a few minutes she was able to down half the toast and a few sips of the tea. So far, so good. Ten minutes later, with a little something in her stomach, the nausea began to subside.
That’s when she made the mistake of getting up. No sooner was she on her feet than she was racing for the bathroom. And the process started all over again as she lost what she’d eaten.
Jennifer decided walking was a bad idea. She crawled back to the bed on her hands and knees and climbed into it. Reaching for the telephone, she called Paige to tell her she wouldn’t be coming in.
Alex walked into Jennifer’s office and stopped when he saw Paige Richards straightening her desk. The petite, younger woman looked up at him, Jennifer’s purse in her hand. He’d forgotten Jennifer had dumped the contents of it on her desk when she’d gotten the call about her father.
“Where’s Jennifer?” he asked, checking his watch. He’d consulted her schedule on the computer. She didn’t have a meeting planned this morning. Maybe she’d taken off to be with her father. Had she gotten bad news during the night?
“She called in sick,” Paige told him as she stuffed Jennifer’s wallet into her purse. “What happened here?”
Alex explained that Jennifer’s father had been taken to the emergency room last night and she’d left in a hurry. “Are you sure she said she was ill?”
Paige stopped what she was doing and looked at him. “What?”
“Are you sure she didn’t say a family member was ill?” he persisted, thinking Paige must have misunderstood.
“Yes, sir, I’m sure. She said she didn’t feel well.” Paige picked up a compact and a tube of lipstick and tossed them into the purse.
“Did she say what was wrong with her?” Other than being exhausted from being at the hospital for hours, Jennifer had seemed fine when he’d left her.
“No.” Finishing her task, Paige walked toward him. “Is there anything I can do for you?”
Alex shook his head. “No, thank you.” He stared for a moment at Jennifer’s empty desk. Maybe he should check on her, just to be sure she was okay. No. Bad idea. He dismissed it as soon as it popped into his head. Jennifer had a lot of family members who would be there for her if she was ill.
But would they? With her father becoming ill last night, wouldn’t her family be tied up taking care of him? Surely, Jennifer’s mother was at the hospital now. And maybe even her sister. Who would make sure Jennifer was all right?
Assuring himself he was worrying needlessly, Alex decided not to go to her. He was probably the last person she’d want to see on her doorstep. And everyone was entitled to feel sick enough to stay home for a day. It didn’t mean she was seriously ill.
Though he’d made the decision not to check on Jennifer,
he hadn’t been able to put her out of his mind. Several times during the day, searching for a legitimate reason to call, he’d picked up the telephone, only to put it back down.
Later that night when he left work, he thought about stopping by her apartment. He could take her purse to her, tell her he thought she might need it. In the end, he decided not to. If she was feeling better, he’d look like an idiot.
Arriving at work the next day, though, he went straight to Jennifer’s office and found it empty. Grabbing her purse, he checked with Paige, only to find out Jennifer had called in sick again.
Okay, now he had a legitimate reason to check on her. No one missed two days of work unless they were really sick. Maybe she needed something and she wasn’t able to get out of the house, he reasoned as he drove in the direction of her place. He’d check on her, see if she needed anything, then leave once he was satisfied she was all right.
And he wouldn’t touch her. Touching her would be a mistake. A big mistake. Because if he touched her, he’d kiss her. And he’d promised to keep his hands off of her.
Braking to a stop at her apartment, he surmised she was home alone because there were no other cars parked out front. He got out and headed for her door, berating himself for not checking on her sooner.
The incessant chimes just wouldn’t stop. Jennifer felt as if she’d just fallen asleep even though the clock on the bedside table told her she’d been resting for an hour. Realizing the chimes, which were still ringing and pounding through her head, was the doorbell, Jennifer managed to open her eyes and roll off the side of the bed. Now all she had to do was find a way to get to the door.
Her stomach refused to cooperate. The morning sickness she’d had yesterday paled in comparison to the nausea storming her today. Intending to go to work, she’d gotten up early. No sooner had her feet hit the floor than she’d raced to the bathroom and heaved.
It had taken all of her strength to make some toast and tea and get back to her bed. Though she’d hated to, she’d called in sick again. Yesterday, she’d begun to feel better late in the afternoon, but still weak, hadn’t felt like going in. Hopefully, her body was beginning to adjust to the sickness and she’d recover later today, too. If so, she planned to venture out to the store. Saltine crackers were at the top of her list. A quick search on the Internet had suggested eating a couple of crackers and drinking something warm before she got out of bed to alleviate the nausea.
The doorbell chimed again and Jennifer cursed the person who had the nerve to push it as she went to answer it. She knew it wasn’t her mother. This morning when she’d had a moment of sanity, she’d called to check on her father, told her mother she wasn’t feeling well and assured her she’d see them over the weekend.
Taking a look out of the peephole, her heart leaped to her throat.
Alex!
What was he doing here? She pulled her robe tighter around her as she watched him. Yes, there he was, standing on her doorstep, looking gorgeous…and very uncomfortable. Apparently he didn’t make sick calls very often.
She turned the lock and cracked open the door. Alex stood in front of her with her purse in his hands.
“Hi,” she said peeking through a three-inch opening. She glanced at her purse and assumed the obvious. “You didn’t have to bring me my purse. I could have gotten it tomorrow when I came in.” Darn. She did need her purse. She didn’t have any cash lying around the house and she wanted to run to the store.
Alex cleared his throat. “Paige said you were sick. I thought I’d stop by to see if you need anything.” He clutched her purse tighter in his hand, not liking the way she looked—as though she was deathly ill. “How are you feeling?” Stupid question, Alex. Any idiot can tell she’s barely holding herself together.
“I think I’m better today,” Jennifer told him, wishing he’d just hand her purse to her and leave.
That was pretty doubtful, Alex thought, by the anemic tone of her skin. If this was better, he didn’t want to think about how she’d felt yesterday. He cursed himself for not coming over earlier to see for himself that she was all right. “Can I come in?” he asked, wanting to visit with her a few minutes to judge for himself.
“You’d better not,” she answered, trying to conjure up a reason that would make sense to him. “I think I’ve got the flu.” It was the only thing she could think of to say. It wasn’t as if she could tell him the truth.
I’m pregnant with your child, and I’m so sick I can barely hold my head up.
She had to be very careful here, had to keep him outside. Get him to leave. ASAP.
No sooner was that decided than she felt the next swell of nausea attack her stomach. Leaving him at the door, she bolted for the bathroom.
Alex watched her disappear, then stepped inside and closed the door. He realized where she’d gone when he heard her in the bathroom. Tossing her purse in a chair, he found her leaning over the toilet, trying to hold her hair from her face as she braced herself with a hand on the toilet.
“Here, let me help.” He gathered her hair in his hands and held it until she finished. “You need to see a doctor.”
Jennifer closed her eyes for a moment to gather her strength. Then she looked at him. “No, I’ll be fine.” He was right, of course, but for the wrong reason. A doctor could probably prescribe something to help her with the morning sickness.
Or was it too early in her pregnancy? Sheesh, she was new at this. She had no idea. After rinsing her mouth out over the sink, she straightened and saw herself in the mirror. Her hair was disheveled, her face void of makeup. Her thin robe left little to the imagination.
As if looking like this you could lure a man to your bed—especially Alex.
“Well, at least get back in bed,” Alex told her.
“All right.” Despite the fact he was the one telling her what to do, she thought that was a great idea.
Alex followed her to her bedroom and helped her into bed. “Can I get you anything?” He began running his hands over her, touching her face, shoulders and arms.
“What are you doing?” she demanded, smacking his hands away.
“I’m checking to see if you have a fever.”
“I don’t.”
“You feel clammy,” he observed.
“Nausea will do that to a person.”
He chuckled. “You get grumpy when you’re sick.”
“You find my misery funny?” she retorted, her tone agitated. She wanted him to leave. Now.
“I find it adorable,” he admitted. “Do you have anything to take for the nausea?”
Jennifer had no idea what she could take while she was pregnant. “I don’t want to take anything. I was going to go out later for some crackers.”
“I’ll go pick some up.”
“No.” She shook her head. “I can take care of it myself.”
“Where’s a house key?” he asked, ignoring her. “I don’t want you to have to get up to let me in.”
“I’ll be okay. You don’t have to shop for me.”
Alex ignored her. “Where are your keys?”
Caving, Jennifer told him. Yawning, she gave in to the drowsiness that surrounded her and welcomed sleep, which provided her an escape from facing the embarrassment of Alex taking care of her.
When Jennifer opened her eyes again it was late afternoon. She looked across the room to see Alex sitting on a chair he’d dragged from the kitchen to her bedroom.
Her bedroom!
“Alex.” Stunned he was still here, it took her a few moments to make sense of it. Then it all came rushing back to her. The man she loved, the man whose baby she carried, had seen her throw up. Great.
“You’re awake.” Alex left the room, then quickly returned with a cool, damp washcloth in his hand. The bed dipped when he sat beside her and pressed it to her forehead. “How are you feeling?”
“Better.” She didn’t want to move. Her nausea seemed to have calmed down, and she had the suspicion moving even her pinky would
bring it back. “What time is it?”
Even though there was a clock on the nightstand, out of habit he glanced at his watch. “Three-thirty.”
“You’ve been here all day?” she asked, forcing herself to remain still.
“I didn’t want to leave you alone.” While he’d watched her sleep, Alex had come to the realization that he cared for Jennifer more than he ever intended. Leaving her hadn’t been an option. He wanted to stay the night with her. Except, if he did, he just wasn’t sure that he could keep his hands off of her. Even though she was sick, he wanted her. No woman had ever affected him like Jennifer.
It scared him, but not enough to make him walk away from her.
“I’ll be fine. Really.” She tried to convince him with her tone.
“We’ll see,” was all he said. Alex put his palm against her forehead. “You don’t feel warm. Maybe the worst is over.”
Jennifer’s pulse quickened at his touch. Her gaze met his and she read the desire that flashed through his eyes before he was able to conceal it. Her attraction to him was going to be hard to fight if he stayed much longer. And as much as she wanted him, it would be wrong to encourage any intimacy between them.
The afternoon turned into evening. Alex waited on Jennifer relentlessly, making her tea and bringing her crackers he’d bought at the store while she’d slept. Around five o’clock, she began to feel well enough to attempt a shower.
When she came out of the bathroom fifteen minutes later, her hair washed and somewhat dry, her teeth brushed, she felt almost human again. Alex was waiting for her, trailing her movements as she started for the kitchen.
“Where are you going?” he asked, stopping her with his hand on her arm. Her hair was slightly damp and she smelled like roses. She’d slipped on another nightgown and robe, but this thicker one hid her tempting curves. His stomach muscles tightened.
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