Buttons and Blame

by Penelope Sky

  Cane and I met at the base. The winery would function without me for the time being. My assistant knew exactly what to do in my absence. Honestly, I was just a figurehead at the compound. The only reason why I was there was because I enjoyed the view, the scent, and getting out of the house.

  We stood in the warehouse where no one would overhear us, surrounded by weapons of destruction. One explosive in this place could result in a bomb that was nearly atomic. There were crates of grenades everywhere. They would create the most damage.

  I slowly paced the area, rubbing my fingers along my jawline. “How many men do we have?”

  “Sixty. But I think I can get twenty more.”

  “What are you paying them?”

  “A lot,” Cane answered. “But I got the best men on the job.”

  “What’s our plan?”

  “Pretty straightforward. We ambush them straight on.”

  “How do we know Tristan is even there?” I challenged.

  “A source of mine said he just returned from a meeting in Croatia.” Cane leaned against the table with his arms over his chest. He still looked sickly, getting progressively worse every day Adelina was a prisoner.

  “You need to eat something. You look like shit.”

  “And I feel like shit,” he said darkly.

  “What about Lizzie?” I questioned. “She’s the biggest problem here. The whole reason Adelina didn’t run in the first place was to protect her.”

  “She’s either dead or being held somewhere else,” Cane said. “Tristan said she was ugly and no one wanted her. Maybe she’s in a different part of the house. Or maybe they killed her because she wasn’t useful.”

  “Did it sound like they killed her?”

  Cane shrugged. “He wouldn’t give me a concrete answer. Smart asshole.”

  “I saw we hit the whole building hard. If she’s there, great. If she’s not…then that’s too bad.”

  “I agree. Adelina will just have to deal with it.”

  I kept pacing, my hands moving to my hips. “Nightfall?”

  “Yeah. I think it’s the best time. We’ll have a boat approach from the coast. We can hit them on two sides.”

  “That’s a good idea.”

  “We’ll blow out all the windows and hit as many casualties as we can. Then we’ll strike from the front.”

  “But what if Adelina is in the way?”

  “Her room is in the front of the building.”

  “But there’s no guarantee that she’s there,” I reminded him. She could be with Tristan in his bed for all we knew.

  Cane swallowed the lump in his throat. “I suppose.”

  “I say we enter the house on all sides and take out the guards silently. The less time we give them to prepare, the more likely it is we can get out with Adelina.”

  “Alright. Let’s do it your way.”

  “Okay.” I kept pacing.

  “How’s Pearl taking all of this?”

  “You already know the answer to that, Cane.” I stopped in front of him and eyed the tables with nearly completed weapons. My whole life had been about guns. It was more comfortable to hold a weapon than a glass of scotch.

  “Is she going to be a problem?”

  “Definitely. I’ll have to drug her and smuggle her out.”

  He sighed. “Why am I not surprised? I’m sorry you have to do that.”

  “She wants to hit Tristan with us…says she’d rather die with me than live without me.”

  Cane’s expression hardened. “You don’t have to do this, Crow. If you want to leave with her, I completely understand.”

  “No. I’m in this—for better or for worse.”

  Cane nodded in gratitude.

  “When should we do this?”

  “Tomorrow night,” he said. “If we wait any longer…”

  He didn’t need to finish the sentence. “I agree. Let me know when you have the other twenty men.”

  “I will.”

  “And should we recruit anyone else?” I asked. “As backup?”’

  “I’m not sure if anyone would help us, considering who Tristan is. They probably want to stay out of it.”

  “Yeah, probably.”

  “I’ve made all the arrangements for Pearl. Lars is going with her.”

  “Good. Would hate for anything bad to happen to that old man.”

  Lars had been with my family since I was born. I’d never seen him slow down or take a break. We were his family, and he enjoyed serving us. “If we die, I know his loyalty will shift to her. She needs someone to look after her.”

  “We both know that’s not true.”

  Button could handle herself, just not in a gunfight. “Do you think she loves you?”

  “Yeah. She seems annoyed with me most of the time, but I know she—”

  “Not Pearl. Adelina.”

  Cane’s face fell at the question. “I don’t know… I hope she does.”

  Hopefully, this wouldn’t all be for nothing. Even if we got her out and defeated Tristan, it would be shitty if she returned to America and moved on with her life. It would make all of this sacrifice a bigger burden. But that probably didn’t matter to Cane. Whether she wanted to be with him or not, Cane would risk his life to save her anyway. “Well, you’re about to find out.”

  I came home later than I usually did since I was organizing things at the base. Button probably already had dinner, and she was anxious for me to get home. We would have another argument about her staying behind.

  An argument she would lose.

  I suspected she was going to fight me every step of the way. I’d have to arrange for the men to transport her while she was unconscious. She would wake up in a beautiful place, one of the few places on earth that matched the beauty of Tuscany. She would be pissed at me—but she was always pissed at me.

  She wasn’t in our bedroom when I came home, probably avoiding me. I showered then went downstairs into the dining room. She wasn’t there either. It didn’t smell like food, so it seemed like dinner had never been served.

  I left the dining hall and ran into Lars.

  “Hello, Your Grace. Is there anything I can do for you?”

  “I’m looking for Button.”

  “She’s outside, Your Grace.”

  “Thanks, Lars.” I walked past him.

  “Your Grace?”

  I turned around. “Yes?”

  He wore a restrained smile. “Not everything is as bleak as it seems…” He drifted away and walked back into the kitchen.

  I had to scratch my head at the comment. Lars had never been cryptic before. Perhaps his comment had to do with the fact that they were both leaving tomorrow. If that was his way of trying to make me feel better, it was a waste of time.

  I walked onto the patio and found her sitting on one of the lounge chairs. Her legs were crossed and pulled toward her body, and she sat perfectly straight. She had the posture of someone doing yoga without the mat.

  I took a seat beside her.

  She didn’t look at me or acknowledge me. Her eyes were focused far ahead, looking deep into the night. There was a breeze, so the leaves of the trees rustled and moved. The property was surrounded by grapes and olive trees. I’d spent my life growing up here, and while there were painful memories, there were a lot of great memories too. It’d been in my family for generations. It would be difficult to ever part with it. I’d imagined growing old here with Button. Hopefully, that would still happen.

  I stared at her profile, willing her to speak to me. I knew she was in a bad mood, still upset about the decision I’d made. But it didn’t matter how hard she fought me, she wouldn’t get her way. I wouldn’t be able to risk my life knowing she was risking hers. I had to keep her safe. It was my entire life’s purpose.

  “I hope you aren’t still angry with me. Because I would hate to spend my last night with you like this.”

  She closed her eyes for a long time, like my words pained her.

  I waited f
or her to say something, to snap out of this mood. Maybe my words made her feel guilty. I hoped she felt guilty. I was only trying to do the right thing for her. If I did otherwise, I would be a terrible husband.

  “I’m not angry with you, Crow. And I think I should go to Santorini with Lars.”

  She’d actually come to her senses.

  But she never came to her senses.

  She always fought me tooth and nail, refusing to give up until it was over.

  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t suspicious. “I’m glad you’ve had a change of heart.”

  She opened her eyes again and gave a slight nod. “It’s for the best.”

  I liked it when she was cooperative like this. Made my life a lot easier. But this wasn’t the woman I married. My wife was fiery, argumentative, and so stubborn I wanted to strangle her. “Why are you being so reasonable right now?”

  She continued to stare straight ahead, not looking at me.

  I knew there was a reason for her attitude change. I could feel it all around her. Her mood was entirely different. She was docile, submissive, quiet. She was sitting outside in the backyard because she was contemplative. She’d been thinking about this all day.

  “Button?” I pressed.

  She finally turned her face my way, and in the light of the moon, I could see the reflective moisture in her eyes. I could see the way they shone with emotion. When she blinked, a tear bubbled over and streaked down her face. “Because I’m pregnant.”

  It was the last thing I’d expected her to say, but when the words hit my brain, they had no impact at all. They bounced right off, not penetrating my hard exterior. It took long seconds for me to digest what she said, to absorb it until it finally took on meaning.

  I was going to be a father.

  Button was having my baby.

  I watched the tear roll all the way down her cheek until it reached her chin. It pooled into a heavy drop before it fell to the chair underneath her. Normally, I wiped away her tears with my thumb. Sometimes I kissed them, tasting the salt on my tongue. But now I just stared at her.

  The timing couldn’t be worse.

  I was about to risk my life to save Adelina. I might not survive. I could leave Button and my baby all alone. She was smart and strong, and she had millions to cushion her through life. But it would be so much easier if I were around to take care of them both. My baby might grow up without a father. My wife would be a widow.

  They would be alone.

  I knew this wasn’t intentional, so I couldn’t be angry. We hadn’t talked about raising a family just yet. It was something on Button’s mind, but we had years before we had to talk about it. This was sudden, unexpected.

  Button watched my reaction, her eyes glued to my face. She didn’t break down into tears, but the fear was in her expression. She was afraid of what I might say. She was afraid of my disappointment, my anger.

  I wasn’t disappointed.

  I wasn’t angry.

  I wasn’t sure what I was.

  I didn’t consider myself to be a family man. Raising kids didn’t fit into my limited patience. But the idea of making something with the woman I loved, having something that would outlive us both, made my chest feel warm. Just as Cane and I were the legacy of my parents, I would have my own legacy.

  How could I be anything less than happy?

  My wife continued to watch me, scared and uneasy. She knew I wasn’t ready for this. She knew a baby didn’t fit into our plans.

  Minutes later, I finally spoke. “Button.” My hand moved into her hair, and I kissed the corner of her eye, absorbing the moisture onto my lips.

  She released the breath she was holding, obviously relieved by my soft reaction.

  I kissed her other cheek before I pulled away. “Everything is going to be okay.”

  “You aren’t angry?” she whispered.

  “How could I be angry?” My hand moved to her flat stomach even though there was nothing to feel. She was just as slender as always. But deep down inside, there was life in her. Our love had created something, something that would soon have a heartbeat. “You know how sexy you’re gonna look pregnant?”

  She finally smiled, her eyes still wet.

  I smiled back. “Nothing to be scared of. We were going to start a family someday anyway.” I had mounds of stress on my shoulders. I was afraid for my life as well as hers. Even without Tristan in the mix, I had the Skull Kings to worry about. But I wasn’t going to put that stress on my wife. Many women waited their whole lives to be pregnant. I wasn’t going to take this glowing happiness away from her.

  “But the timing—”

  “It is what it is.” I rubbed my hand across her stomach.

  “It was an accident…”

  “I know.” I brushed my lips along her hairline. “It’s a good accident. In nine months, we’re gonna have something we love more than anything in the world—including each other.”

  She nodded, new tears bubbling. “I was scared of what you would say…”

  “You’re giving me a gift, Button. All I feel is happiness.”

  “Really?” she whispered.

  “Yes.” I pulled her into my lap and placed her legs over my thighs. She was the same weight as she’d always been, but now she seemed so heavy. I was carrying my wife and my baby, a baby that couldn’t be seen. I buried my face in her neck as I held her, comforting her. “It’ll be alright, Button. I promise.”

  “What’s up?” Cane walked into my study later that night, a pistol on each side of his harness. He was ready for the ambush even though we had a whole day ahead of us. He helped himself to the booze on the coffee table and took a seat.

  The fire was roaring, and there was a bucket full of ice cubes. Button had gone to bed, and now I could finally be alone with my thoughts. I’d made love to her slowly, my eyes on hers the entire time. With every thrust, I buried myself inside her. I loved her in the way she needed to be loved. I told her everything would be okay without words. I promised to take care of our family, all three of us. “I can’t help you, Cane.”

  He stared at me with his glass in his hand. “You changed your mind?”

  I nodded.

  He sighed in disappointment before he downed his entire glass. He set it on the table then wiped his mouth with the back of his forearm. He stared at the fire, his face a mask of annoyance. “I respect your decision, but you should have told me sooner. I’m gonna have to rework this plan.”

  “I told you as soon as I could, Cane.”

  “Did she change her mind about the whole thing?”

  “No…I did.” I rubbed my hands together before I told him the news. “Pearl is pregnant.”

  His face completely changed the second the words were out of my mouth. He turned from disappointment to shock. The surprise slowly faded away from his face as the news hit him in the heart. He visibly softened, and soon enough, a smile emerged. “Shit…congratulations.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I… This was an accident, right?”

  “Completely.”

  “Wow.” He ran his hand through his hair before he dragged it down his face. “I mean…wow.”

  “Yeah.”

  “How do you feel about it?”

  “The timing is terrible. But that doesn’t matter. We’re having a baby, and I want her to be happy.”

  “But are you happy?” he pressed. “Come on, it’s just us.”

  “I am happy,” I said honestly. “I’m not ready to raise a family right now, but that’s my son or daughter. I already love whoever they are. But now that there’s a baby in the picture…I can’t help you with Tristan.”

  He gave a slight nod. “I understand, Crow.”

  “I can’t leave my child fatherless.”

  “You’re right. I understand why Pearl feels that way too.”

  “I haven’t told her I’m staying with her.”

  “Why not?”

  I shrugged. “We haven’t done much talking
since she told me…”

  He chuckled. “Gotcha. Then what are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know. I think I’m gonna take her to Santorini until this blows over. I don’t want both of us to be stuck in the cross fire.”

  “That’s a smart idea…just in case things go south.”

  “I’m sorry I can’t help you, Cane. You know I would be there—”

  “Don’t worry about it.” Cane raised his hand to silence me. “You belong with Pearl. I don’t think less of you.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Wow, I’m gonna be an uncle.” He leaned back into the couch and interlocked his fingers behind his head. “That’s crazy. I never thought I would be an uncle.”

  “Just don’t be one of those annoying uncles that disobeys me the second I turn my back.”

  “Oh, you know it’s gonna happen. Let’s just be honest.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “Do you think it’s a boy or a girl?”

  “I just found out she was pregnant three hours ago.”

  “So?”

  “I don’t have a guess.”

  “Are you hoping for a son?”

  “I couldn’t care less what they are. Boy or girl, I’ll love them the same.”

  “I just hope they don’t have your mean stubbornness. If you’re lucky, they’ll take after her.”

  Since Button was the better version of me, I didn’t disagree with that. “If I’m lucky.”

  Cane stood up and straightened his jacket. “Well, I’ll let you get back to…whatever you were doing. I’ll let you know how it goes.” He stood on the other side of the coffee table, his hands in his pockets.

  I stood up. “Thanks. Good luck.”

  He nodded. “I’m optimistic.”

  “He might suspect you’re coming.”

  “I know.” He continued to stare at me, out of words to share.

  I stared back, wishing I could say something good. This could be the last time I ever saw my brother. We had our differences and he pissed me off, but he meant the world to me. I came around the table and hugged him. I hadn’t hugged him in years.

  He hugged me back.

  “Love you, man.” I stepped back when the affection lingered a little too long. I had to throw the word man in there to make it less intimate, less emotional. Cane and I didn’t do this sort of thing.