My Every Breath

by Brittney Sahin

  “Secondly”—he shoves away from the counter and comes back to me, as if the small distance is too much to bear—“I’ll do whatever makes you happy. And being here makes you happy, right?”

  My eyes fall shut as his question sweeps through my mind.

  “I used to think it would. I used to think that, if only I could make my way back here, everything would be okay.” My breath catches in my throat at the touch of his hands on my shoulders.

  “And now?”

  “Now, I only care about being wherever you are.” Maybe it sounds cliché, like something from a Harlequin novel, but it’s true.

  “And what if I feel the same?” His thumbs caress the sides of my bare arms, then one finger slips beneath the strap on my shoulder.

  “Then I think we should get back to New York. I also think that, maybe, you’re avoiding your family for some reason.” I open my eyes. “You should come clean with Grace and Corbin. Tell them who you really are.”

  His lips lift, and his eyes focus on mine. Like flecks of gold glistening beneath the sun, there are bits of amber within his blue eyes. “And who am I really?”

  “You’re a good man.”

  He huffs out a breath and lets go of me. I can tell he’s going to back away, so I grab his biceps, demanding his attention.

  “You have a family, Cade. Maybe your parents are screwed up, but you need to hold on tight to your brother and sister and never let go. You’re lucky to have them, and they need to know how you really feel—that you care about them.”

  “They know,” he grumbles.

  “But they don’t know everything.” I swallow, knowing what I’m about to say will completely eviscerate anything left of his fun, flirty mood. “They don’t know about Samantha and how your father blackmailed you.”

  “What good would come from telling them?” he bites out.

  “It’s a start at truly building a solid relationship. You’re never going to be the brother they need if you keep your walls up. This would be a giant step in the right direction.”

  His lips tighten, his face hardening, and I’m worried I’m losing him.

  “Why can you be so open with me, but not with them?” I palm his face, the prickliness of his beard tickling my hand.

  “Because you and I are . . .” He lets his voice trail off as his hand comes up to cover mine. Then he lifts my palm and kisses it. “You’re the woman I love, so it’s different.”

  My heart stutters in my chest, and my stomach drops.

  His blue eyes are shielded by his lids now, and he angles his head down. “Shit, I fucked that up. I was planning on telling you in a more romantic way.”

  I make a fist and tuck it beneath his chin, tipping his head up, needing him to look at me. “Are you kidding?” A thin layer of liquid forms over my eyes, the tears threatening to fall.

  “What?” He finally looks at me.

  “I’m not a girl who needs romantic gestures.”

  “And what do you need?”

  I sniffle. “You.” I sling my arms around his neck, and he holds me against him as I whisper into his ear, “I love you, too.”

  26

  Cade

  “Wow.” Corbin scrubs a hand through his hair and rises to his feet. “He’s even more of an asshole than I realized.”

  My shoulders arch back, and my spine stiffens at the realization of what I’ve done, of what Gia helped me understand I needed to do.

  The truth about everything is exposed, and my past is no longer a secret.

  “I’m so sorry.” Grace crosses the room to where I’m standing in front of the desk, and she reaches for my arm. “I wish we could have been there for you.”

  I shrug. All of these emotions are still a little foreign to me, and I’m not fully equipped to deal with them.

  She rests a hand on her growing stomach and rubs her belly. “Thank you for finally opening up, though.”

  I nod, still not sure what to say.

  “And when do we get to meet the woman who’s responsible for the new you?” she asks.

  Gia and I returned to New York a few days ago, and today was my first official day back at the office. I hadn’t planned on inviting Corbin and Grace here to spill the truth of my ugly past, but my hand had lifted the phone and called them, as if on autopilot.

  I blame Gia for this.

  I fight a smile when I think about her.

  It’s our first day away from each other since she ran off to Brazil a month ago, and it hurts like fuck.

  “We can get dinner soon.”

  Corbin folds his arms and leans back against the wall of windows. “And you guys are really going to move in together?”

  “That’s the idea.” I didn’t want to have a fresh start in a home where I’ve had dozens of women over. And I want Gia to have a say in where we’ll live. She deserves it after living the last ten years beneath someone’s thumb.

  Plus, she’s moving back to Manhattan for me, to a place she never thought she’d step foot in again. I want her to be happy.

  Hell, I want her to be more than just happy.

  “Have you seen Jessica since you’ve been back?” Corbin’s jaw locks tight, and there’s a pinch of anger in the muscles in his cheeks. He’s thinking about Jerry, I’m sure. He was closer to him than I was, and it killed him when he learned his friend was dirty.

  Jerry’s fiancée felt the burn the most, though, when he went to jail.

  “She stopped by my place yesterday.” I sigh. “I owe her a lot. If it weren’t for her, I don’t know how this would have all turned out.”

  “And Owen?” Grace lifts a brow. He’s one of her husband’s best friends, so I’m sure she’s hoping I don’t hate the guy.

  “I understand why he did what he did.” I’m trying to, at least. If I’m going to be the good guy Gia claims I am, I have to support Owen’s actions, which led to the takedown of a terrorist. My own desires can’t trump that. But when it comes to Gia’s safety, everything feels secondary.

  “Did you ask Jessica about her extracurricular activities with the government?” If I hadn’t been so busy these last few weeks, I’d still be curious about who the hell Jessica and Owen really are.

  Grace smiles. “She’s still sticking with that whole classified mantra. Even Noah can’t get anything out of Owen, so I have to assume that whatever they’re into is pretty hardcore.”

  “This is all surreal.” Corbin drags a palm down his face, the skin pulling down from his eyes. “I think I need another vacation just to digest everything I’ve learned this week.”

  Both Grace and I look at him.

  “What, a month in Vegas wasn’t enough?” she asks, shaking her head.

  “Are you kidding? A month in Vegas is like work. I need to go somewhere I can just chill. Maybe Ibiza.”

  “Yeah, uh, no. You and a party city like that—I can’t take time off to go over there and bail your ass out of prison. And Gia might speak Spanish, but I’m doubting any amount of smooth talking will get you out of a jam.”

  His mouth spreads into a wide grin as he rubs at his jaw. The man lives for this shit. “Says the guy who took on the mob, and oh yeah—a goddamn human trafficker.”

  “That was me being on the right side of the law.” My arms flex at my sides. Can’t I have a minute to relax? “Just do me a favor and stick around for a while. I’m too young to start taking blood pressure meds.”

  “Nah, man, you’re old,” Corbin says, and Grace nudges me in the side playfully.

  “Don’t remind me.”

  There’s a knock on the door, and then I see Gia peeking through the little glass window alongside it.

  My heartbeat picks up at the sight of her.

  “Guess you’ll be meeting her sooner than I thought.” I flick my wrist, motioning for her to come in.

  A shy smile lights up her face when she notices I’m not alone. I stride across the room, anxious to get to her. “Hi.” I kiss her on the lips without thinking twice about
it.

  “Hi,” Grace says right away and approaches her.

  Gia starts to reach out to shake her hand, but my sister goes in for the hug.

  Another surprise. Must be the hormones.

  “It’s so nice to finally meet you,” Grace says.

  “You, too.” Gia smiles and then gets caught off guard when Corbin bear hugs her next.

  “Easy there.” I roll my eyes at my brother. He’s trying to rattle me on purpose by hanging on to her longer than necessary. It’s been a while since we’ve been in the boxing ring together, and I’m thinking he’s in the mood for a kick in the ass.

  But, shit, that’s the old me talking.

  Then again, fuck that—that part might always be me, and I’m fine with that.

  “Okay.” I rest a hand on his shoulder. The smirk on his face when he lets Gia go is evidence he can’t help but try and get himself in trouble.

  And since maybe I’m like the dad in the family, since our actual dad is shit, I’ll cut him a break, for now.

  “Well.” Grace lifts her shoulders, her eyes smiling, her face bright. “You are ridiculously beautiful.”

  A soft pink creeps up Gia’s cheeks. “And you’re having twins, I hear. How do you feel?”

  “Oh, you know . . . fat. And bread is like crack, but hey, if the babies want it, I gotta eat it.”

  Silky laughter floats to my ears, and Gia’s eyes blaze to life.

  “Well”—I clear my throat—“maybe we’ll have dinner this weekend, and you can get to know each other. Obviously, bring Noah.” I’m hoping they’ll get the hint and leave. I’ve been away from Gia for eight hours, and I need my hands on her. “And tell him thanks for keeping you safe while I was gone,” I add.

  Grace smiles. “Like he’d have it any other way.” She winks, then we exchange a few more words before they leave.

  “I had no idea they’d be here. Sorry to interrupt,” Gia says once the door is closed.

  “Yeah, well, thanks to you, we had that heart-to-heart you insisted upon.”

  “Really?” Her lips crook into a smile, and I reach out and pull her against me. “Well, Mr. King, I think you deserve a reward.”

  “Say that again.” I nip at the bottom of her plump pink lip.

  With heavy-lidded eyes, she looks at me, the passion there. “Mr. King.”

  I reach around and grab her ass, her jeans still chilled from being outside. It’s been snowing since we got to the city, and I think we both miss the sunny weather in South America.

  “I was looking at a loft near here, so I thought I’d stop by and see you.”

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “And I brought you something.” She reaches into her pocket and pulls out one of my red ties. “I noticed you didn’t wear one today, and I thought maybe it could be useful.”

  My cock hardens as she steps back and demonstrates, threading the red material through her mouth.

  “So no one hears me screaming while I sit on your lap during a conference call.”

  I start to laugh, unable to stop myself. “You’re testing me, huh? Seeing if I was serious.”

  She lifts her shoulders and looks up at the ceiling as if she’s so innocent.

  Yeah, right.

  I take the tie from her and wrap it around my hand several times. “There’s no way I’ll risk anyone hearing any of your grunts or moans.” I palm her face with my other hand. “Those sounds are reserved for me.”

  My tongue slips inside of her mouth, tangling with hers, and she arches up against me. Even with the heavy material of her coat between us, her heart is pounding so loud, it goes through the fabric and straight to my chest.

  I reach down, adjusting myself, the thickness against my dress pants growing uncomfortable. I pull away before I’m unable to stop myself from yanking down her pants to bury myself balls deep.

  She’s panting when she steps back. “Okay, well, why don’t you hang onto it for later, when you get home.”

  I tuck the tie into my pants pocket and work at my sleeves, rolling them to the elbows. It’s too damn hot in here now.

  “Where are you off to now?”

  “One more place to look at, and then I’m going to cook us up one of my mom’s dishes.”

  “I could get used to this.”

  “Good, because I’m not going anywhere.”

  And I never want her to.

  She kisses me on the cheek, and I grab hold of her wrist. She gasps when I pull her back against me so she can feel how hard I still am.

  “Be sure to think of me while you’re on your next call.”

  “Oh, I’m pretty sure you’re all I’ll be thinking about.”

  I kiss her again, hard and long, to give her something to think about, too.

  On the way out, her phone starts ringing, so she digs into her purse.

  “A realtor?” I ask.

  She shrugs before retrieving it. “It’s Mya.” With the phone pressed to her ear, she waves to me over her shoulder and opens the door. “Hey, everything okay?”

  I head back toward my desk and tuck my hand into my pocket to feel for the tie, anxious for today to end so I can get home and see her in nothing but this.

  27

  Cade

  My brows pinch together as I try to figure out what I’m looking at.

  Gia’s back is to me, a marker in hand, and she’s studying the massive whiteboard in front of her.

  We moved into our new place only two days ago, so there are boxes littered all over the floor and stacked up higher than Gia is tall. She insisted we do everything ourselves, instead of letting the movers help.

  She’s stubborn. What can I say?

  “What is this?” I drop my briefcase on the floor in the office and come up behind her. I press a kiss to her shoulder. She’s only in a black tank top and a pair of shorts that barely cover her ass cheeks.

  She sets her marker down on the cluttered desk by the whiteboard and faces me. “Well.”

  I want to pull her in for a hug after a long day at work, but there’s a shade of fear in her eyes, shadowing her face.

  What the hell is going on?

  “Gia.” I step back to fully assess what’s on the board.

  At least thirty pictures of women are taped up there. Some have circles around them, and others have the word MISSING beneath in large print.

  I look back at her, worry darting through me enough to make my brow nearly sweat.

  “You know how I’ve been meeting with Mya every week since we’ve been back?”

  “Yeah.”

  “We, um, haven’t just been hanging out.”

  Jesus Christ. I already know what’s coming, and maybe I kind of expected it, but I’m still not prepared.

  She turns to the side and points to the board. “These are the women Connor and his men have already found, but there are still a lot more out there.”

  “And what does this have to do with you?” I didn’t realize Mya’s friends were going to keep their promise and actually track the women down one by one.

  “This is what I’m meant to do.” She places her hands in prayer position and rests them against her lips. It’s obvious she’s worried I’m going to say no, which is why she’s been keeping this from me.

  I want to be angry, but maybe I would have gone off the handle with worry had she approached me with the idea too soon.

  It’s been seven weeks since Carlos was taken down, but I’m not sure if enough time will ever pass before I won’t be concerned about Gia involving herself in something dangerous.

  She reaches for my arms, holding my wrists. Her big hazel eyes, so full of compassion, capture mine. “I’m only doing research and helping Connor and his men go through files. But . . .”

  I lift a brow. “But?”

  “I’d like to be directly involved in what happens to the women once they’re safe.”

  I release a ragged breath, my nerves fraying by the second. “How so?”

  Her hands skirt
up my forearms until her fingertips bite into my shoulders, urging me closer to her.

  “I spent the last ten years of my life coming up with ideas to help my mom once she was found. I knew that it would be difficult for her to move on with her life after being”—she stops for a moment to take a breath, the memory of her loss gripping her—“um, captive for so long.”

  I fight the urge to close my eyes.

  “This is my purpose. This is what I’m meant to do with my life. I couldn’t help my mom, but I can help others who were taken.” She swallows, her eyes glistening from unshed tears.

  “That means you’ll be traveling a lot. And the idea of you being away from me—” I cut myself off and back out of her reach. “No. I can’t risk something happening to you.” I drag both palms down my face.

  I bow my head and take a moment to think.

  “I would never tell you no.” I blow out a breath. “But I’m also not willing to let you do this alone.”

  “I’m not alone. Mya’s helping out on the side, and Connor’s security team is taking on a major role in this.”

  “That’s not what I mean.” I slowly turn around.

  Her soul, her love for humanity, is bright and damn near intoxicating.

  “When you need to travel, I’ll travel with you.”

  “You have a company to run. You don’t need to do that.” She palms my cheek, our eyes connecting. “And besides, someone from Connor’s team will be with me. I’ll be safe.”

  “I can work from anywhere, and you know that.” I lift her hand from my face and press my lips to her tattoo. “I’m not going to lose you.”

  “And I’m not running. This isn’t me running. I promise,” she says, her voice shaky with emotion.

  This move on her part makes sense.

  I get it.

  But I can’t tolerate the idea of her going anywhere near the line of fire.

  “So I sell the company,” I say a moment later, the realization hitting me hard and fast.

  It was a job I was born into, a position I was groomed for, but is it something I want or need to be happy?