Falling Softly

by Maria Duffy

  ALSO BY MARIA DUFFY

  Any Dream Will Do

  The Terrace

  The Letter

  A Love Like This

  One Wish

  In Search of Us

  Copyright © 2017 by Maria Duffy

  First published in 2017 by Hachette Books Ireland.

  First Skyhorse edition 2018.

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without the express written consent of the publisher, except in the case of brief excerpts in critical reviews or articles. All inquiries should be addressed to Skyhorse Publishing, 307 West 36th Street, 11th Floor, New York, NY 10018.

  Skyhorse Publishing books may be purchased in bulk at special discounts for sales promotion, corporate gifts, fund-raising, or educational purposes. Special editions can also be created to specifications. For details, contact the Special Sales Department, Skyhorse Publishing, 307 West 36th Street, 11th Floor, New York, NY 10018 or info@skyhorsepublishing.com.

  Skyhorse® and Skyhorse Publishing® are registered trademarks of Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.®, a Delaware corporation.

  Visit our website at www.skyhorsepublishing.com.

  10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file.

  Cover design by Erin Seaward-Hiatt

  Cover photo credit iStock

  Print ISBN: 978-1-5107-3369-5

  Ebook ISBN: 978-1-5107-3371-8

  Printed in the United States of America

  For Lorraine Hamm and Angie Pierce

  Two of the best

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Acknowledgments

  Chapter 1

  Summer 1990

  ‘Promise me we’ll be best friends forever,’ said Holly, swinging her legs as she balanced on the silver-coloured railings outside her house. ‘Say it.’ She looked pleadingly at the seven-year-old boy who’d been her friend since preschool. ‘You have to say “best friends forever” and we link our little fingers and then it will come true.’

  He sighed and rolled his eyes but Holly knew. He pretended to be tough but she knew he secretly loved her. And she loved him. One day they’d get married in a big castle on a hill. It would be Christmas time and it would be snowing. Her dress would be white and she’d have red roses for her bouquet. It would be like a fairy tale and they’d live happily ever after. One day.

  Holly Russo felt like the luckiest girl in the world. The previous week, her dream had come true when her boyfriend, David, proposed. She wasn’t afraid to admit that she’d dreamed of her wedding since she’d been a little girl and there were times she’d thought it would never happen, but now she could start planning to live her dream. The proposal wasn’t exactly the wonderful, romantic moment she’d always dreamed of. It was more like a suggestion. A casual mention that perhaps they should take things to the next level. They’d been sitting having dinner in their kitchen when he’d popped the question – or rather made his statement. ‘I suppose it’s time we made this official and got married,’ he’d said, as he shovelled baked ham into his mouth. But still. David was fabulous. He was handsome, hard-working and he adored the ground she walked on. Only for him, she’d be festering in a spinsterly depression, with a high risk of becoming a bingo-addicted, matronly cat-woman, baking cakes for the church fund-raiser and sitting between her parents watching a string of soaps every night. In truth, David had saved her.

  ‘Are you almost ready, Holly? She’s on her way.’ David’s voice boomed up the stairs with urgency, filling her with the dread of a schoolgirl sitting outside the principal’s office. She was Mammy Wood, although David hated when she called her that. ‘It sounds derogatory,’ he’d say. She’d argue that it was a term of endearment but the former was closer to the truth. David was an only child and, due to his father’s leaving when he was just six, had been brought up by his mother alone. Holly wasn’t completely indifferent to the woman’s hardship – in fact she admired her for rearing her son alone. But he was thirty-five years old now and didn’t need his nose wiped. He owned his own house, had a great career in the bank and was about to get married. And yet his mother still felt it necessary to involve herself in every aspect of his life. And to make matters worse, he encouraged it.

  She looked down at her lilac velour tracksuit and, for a moment, considered changing into something less comfortable. No doubt Mammy Wood would click her tongue and furrow her brow when she saw Holly hadn’t stood on ceremony and worn her Sunday best, but Holly didn’t care. That woman always had something to say about everything. She didn’t really approve of Holly’s job as a receptionist in a veterinary practice and had once made a joke about her wearing ‘Eau de Dog’. Both she and David had thought it was hilarious but it had freaked Holly out and caused her to have multiple showers every day for weeks. Well, Holly was in her own house today so she was going to dress the way she wanted.

  She glanced at her face in the mirror and sighed. Her once-chiselled cheekbones had filled out a lot of late and she was beginning to see the sprouting of a double chin. She elongated her neck, as she’d seen the girls do on America’s Next Top Model, and the extra chin disappeared. She dusted a bit of bronzing powder over her pale face and pulled her mousy hair back into a ponytail.

  ‘Holly, she’s here,’ came an excited voice from downstairs, just as Holly heard the front door swing open. She stuck on a smack of lipstick for good measure and hurried out of the bedroom. But at the sound of her soon-to-be mother-in-law click-clacking on the cobbled driveway, her bravado escaped her. She rushed back into the bedroom and grabbed a pair of black trousers and a peach blouse from her wardrobe. She discarded the tracksuit on the bed and quickly changed before running down the stairs. Maybe when she and David were married she’d find the courage to defy the great Mammy Wood.

  ‘Lovely to see you, dear,’ Mammy Wood said, air-kissing Holly somewhere in the region of her face. ‘And don’t you look lovely.’

  Holly’s inner child beamed at the compliment, which most certainly wouldn’t have come had the lilac tracksuit remained. ‘And you too, Doreen. Come on into the sitting room and I’ll bring in some tea.’

  She took the woman’s Italian wool coat and ushered her and David into the warmth of the front room while she went into the kitchen. She was happy to play host while David schmoozed with his mother because, in reality, it was the lesser of two evils. She rolled out the hostess trolley from the utility room, a monstrosity of a yoke which David had insisted they buy for occasions such as this, and proceeded to set it with their best Ikea china, bought for the very same reason. She made tea in
the large white teapot and took the tinfoil off the sandwiches she’d prepared earlier. A selection of biscuits from an early Christmas tin of Afternoon Tea spotted in Tesco the previous day, and she was ready to wheel the lot in.

  Doreen was perched on the edge of the sofa when Holly entered the room, pen and paper in hand, glasses fixed halfway down her nose. ‘I was just saying to David,’ she said, tapping the paper. ‘We’ll need to start booking things now because all the good venues get snapped up ages in advance. I was thinking, if we decide a date tonight and make a list of churches and hotels, at least it would be a start.’

  Holly’s heart sank. ‘I’m not sure we’ve decided what sort of wedding we want, Doreen. I mean, there’s all sorts these days. It doesn’t have to be traditional.’

  ‘Don’t be silly, dear. Of course you want the big white wedding. Don’t all girls dream of their fairy-tale wedding?’

  She couldn’t argue with that. ‘Maybe so, but it doesn’t have to be in a church or –’

  ‘Not in a church?’ Doreen laughed manically. ‘Well, that’s not up for negotiation.’

  Not up for negotiation? Bloody cheek, thought Holly. She glanced over at David, expecting him to jump to her defence.

  ‘Maybe Mum is right,’ he said, pouring tea into the three china cups. ‘If we decide on the main things, i.e. the church and the hotel, at least we’ll have the venues sorted.’

  Holly’s mouth opened but no sound came out. Firstly, had he not heard her say she wasn’t sure about a church? She hadn’t stepped inside one for years and he knew damn well about her views on the Catholic Church. And secondly, if there was one thing that drove Holly mad it was David’s use of i.e. when he spoke. He must have noticed her annoyance because he reached over and placed his hand over hers.

  ‘Sorry, Holly. Are we bombarding you with too much stuff?’

  ‘It’s not that. It’s just … there’s just a lot to think about.’ She badly wanted to say something but there’d be plenty of time for that when Mammy Dearest went home.

  Doreen shoved the hostess trolley aside and pulled the coffee table closer to her. ‘Right,’ she said, poising her pen above her notes. ‘Let’s talk dates. I was thinking maybe June or July. It’s the best chance we have of a bit of sunshine.’

  ‘But that’s only eight months away,’ said Holly, trying to regain some sort of control. ‘And besides, David and I have discussed a winter wedding. Maybe around Christmastime.’ It wasn’t exactly true. After the proposal, she’d told David how she’d always pictured herself getting married in the snow. He’d teased her about being a kid at heart and that had been the end of the conversation.

  ‘I don’t mean next summer,’ said Doreen, looking at her with a tight smile. ‘We’d never have everything organised by then. I was thinking maybe summer 2017. That would give us a good year and a half to get organised.’

  Holly took a sip from the cup in her hand, not trusting herself to speak.

  ‘And you wouldn’t want a winter wedding,’ Doreen continued. ‘You’d get your death of cold in your lovely dress and so would your bridesmaids.’

  Holly let her rattle on about dates and venues for the next hour, nodding her head and telling her they’d have a think about it all. Then at last, she breathed a huge sigh of relief when Doreen finally stood up and smoothed down her over-the-knee shift dress, announcing that she must go home. Holly walked behind her to the hall, where her coat was hanging, and she couldn’t help admiring the woman’s figure. For a sixty-two-year-old woman, she looked really well. Her legs were shapely and her tiny waist must have been the same size as one of Holly’s thighs. She never allowed a speckle of grey to appear in her blonde hair, which she wore in a youthful bob. Holly was suddenly conscious of her frame as she reached forward to accept the air kisses thrown in her direction.

  ‘Thanks for that, love,’ said David, putting his arm around her after they waved Doreen off and closed the front door. ‘I owe you one.’

  ‘For what?’ She looked at him questioningly.

  ‘You know what.’ He grinned. ‘I know she’s hard work and I know she gets on your nerves but I really appreciate you playing along with her.’

  ‘So is that what we were doing? Just playing along with her? And we’re not going to let her take over the wedding?’

  ‘Of course not. It’s our wedding and it should be our decision.’

  Her heart leapt for joy. She’d thought she was in for a battle – her against the two of them – and she hadn’t fancied her chances.

  ‘So why don’t we continue this discussion in bed?’ he said, taking her hand and pulling her towards the stairs. His eyes told her what was on his mind and she knew she was in for a rare treat.

  David didn’t do spontaneous. At least not very often. Everything in their house was planned with military precision, from the time they sat to eat dinner every evening to the nights they made love. But every now and again, the mischievous David appeared. He’d fly in the face of his own rules and bring a bit of excitement into their lives. Holly loved that David. Not that she didn’t love the other one but that one reminded her of why she’d fallen in love with him in the first place.

  Half an hour later she was in bed looking at the ceiling and listening to David’s contented snores. She went over the evening’s events in her mind and realised a number of things. One, she should have had more trust in her fiancé. Although he adored his mother and sometimes acted as though she was the second coming, his loyalties lay with Holly and he would never let his mother take over their lives. Two, she was a very lucky girl to have a man who loved her so much. Her friend Milly would often say that David was boring but Holly liked to think of him as steadfast and reliable. She’d kissed a lot of frogs and had her heart broken more times than she cared to imagine so a bit of stability in her life had to be a good thing.

  ‘I was just thinking,’ David said, startling her.

  ‘I thought you were fast asleep.’

  ‘I was just resting my eyes. We should go and buy a ring this weekend.’

  A bolt of excitement shot through her. That was the first time he’d mentioned a ring and she had begun to think he wasn’t going to bother. She’d thought of bringing up the subject when he’d proposed but it hadn’t seemed like the right time.

  ‘Holly?’

  ‘Sorry. I was just thinking. Yes, a ring would be nice.’

  ‘How about tomorrow then? Maybe we could even …’

  ‘We could what?’

  ‘No, it doesn’t matter. It was a stupid thought.’

  Holly wasn’t going to let him fob her off. ‘Let me be the judge of that.’

  ‘Look, I meant what I said earlier about not letting Mum take over, but I still want to keep her included in things. She’s asked me to bring her into town tomorrow for a few things so maybe she can come and look at rings with us.’

  Holly’s heart sank but what could she do? Still, she was marrying the man she loved and nothing or no one was going to get in the way of that. Mammy Wood could stick her nose in all she wanted but, at the end of the day, Holly would be David’s wife and his loyalties would have to be to her. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep but something was whirring around in her head and keeping her awake. A little tiny voice pecking at her brain and, much as she hated to admit it, she knew it was the voice of doubt.

  Chapter 2

  ‘Come on, Josh. We’re just going to have to make a start somewhere. If you weren’t such a hoarder, this job would be easier.’

  He nodded and sighed. He found it was the best thing to do these days. Ever since Stephanie had become pregnant, her moods had been all over the place and he, her loving, supportive boyfriend, was the one who suffered her wrath if things didn’t go her way.

  ‘I’ll make up the boxes while you load up the books,’ she said, walking into the study. He followed her without argument. There were hundreds of books there, not just on shelves but in piles on the floor. Josh’s job as a primary-school teache
r required him to possess a lot of literature but, as Stephanie said, he was a hoarder too. Some of those books he’d had since the early nineties, when he’d discovered the Goosebumps series and it was as though he’d uncovered a hidden treasure. His love of books had grown from there and he’d spent every free moment reading. Stephanie told him all the time that he should have a proper clear-out of his collection but he couldn’t bear to part with any of it.

  ‘I don’t mind making a start on things, Steph. But are we sure about this? The move, I mean. I know the van is booked and the deposit is paid, but it’s not too late, you know.’

  Her head shot up and he prepared himself for the onslaught. ‘How many times do we have to go over this? I told you I want to be settled in the new place before the baby is born. It will be twice as difficult to move afterwards. Why are you so against the move? Why are you always fighting against me?’

  ‘You know that’s not true. I’m just thinking of you. Moving is very stressful and with you being four months pregnant, I don’t want to risk anything happening to you or the baby. I’m not talking about putting it off forever – just until after the baby is born.’

  ‘You worry too much, Josh. I’m absolutely fine. And so is this little one.’ She patted her expanding belly and smiled. Her face lit up and he was putty in her hands. Stephanie was the most beautiful woman he’d ever known. Three years his junior, she had the face of an angel and his breath would catch in his throat every day when he’d wake up beside her. He looked at her long blonde hair falling over her face as she concentrated on assembling the boxes and his heart swelled with love for her and their unborn child.

  Three hours later, they were exhausted and they hadn’t even finished packing up one room yet. ‘How about we stop now and order a Chinese,’ he said, watching as Stephanie rubbed her back. ‘There’s no point in overdoing it. We have the whole weekend ahead.’

  To his relief, she relented and he ushered her into the sitting room while he went to get the menu from the kitchen drawer. He smiled sadly to himself as the drawer stuck and he had to expertly twist it slightly to the left and pull quickly to get it open. It had been like that since he and some of his college friends had hosted a house-warming party when they’d moved in ten years ago. He definitely had some great memories of the place. He’d loved living there and would be sad to leave.