Falling Softly

by Maria Duffy

  ‘Josh! Wh– what are you doing here?’

  His face was flushed from the cold but he was smiling as his words tumbled out. ‘It was at the bus stop in Dublin city centre. Four o’clock on a Friday afternoon.’

  ‘What was?’ Holly’s voice was barely a whisper as she stood looking at the man she adored.

  ‘You were wearing a pair of white jeans and a yellow T-shirt. It was hot. Really hot. And you were worried you’d feel sick on the bus.’

  ‘Josh, I don’t follow.’

  He put up a hand to shush her. ‘You hated travelling alone but I was going to stay with a friend in Dublin because I had an interview for a part-time job the next morning.’

  Realisation began to dawn on her but she stayed quiet, holding her breath as he spoke.

  ‘The bus was rattling towards the stop and you were hyperventilating. So I kissed you. Long and soft. And you calmed down instantly. You got on the bus and I waved you goodbye. That was our last kiss, Holly. I never forgot it. I never forgot anything about you.’

  Holly couldn’t find any words as tears began to pour down her face. It was the thing that had haunted her. Their last kiss. She’d blocked it out of her mind but he’d kept the memory. He’d remembered every little detail, even after all this time.

  ‘Come with me,’ said Josh, holding out his hand. ‘Please. I want to take you somewhere.’

  ‘I can’t. Everyone is at Carina’s and they’re waiting for me. It’s a tradition.’

  ‘Do you want to come, Holly?’

  All she could do was nod.

  ‘Right then, let’s go. We’ll be no longer than an hour and I promise I’ll drop you to Carina’s on the way back. How does that sound?’

  ‘Okay.’ Her head was spinning trying to keep up with what was going on as Josh took her hand and led her out to his car. She got in without question and actually pinched her own arm hard, just to make sure she wasn’t in the middle of a dream.

  ‘Where are we going?’ she said, looking at his face and noting the cuts and bruises. She instinctively wanted to kiss each and every one of them but she didn’t dare. Not until she knew what was happening. A bolt of excitement shot through her and, although she’d just been whisked away from her house on Christmas night by a man she’d broken up with thirteen years before, there was nowhere else she’d rather be.

  ‘Just wait and see,’ said Josh, keeping his eyes on the road. ‘Sit back and relax, Holly. Trust me, I have a lot to say but I want to wait until we get there.’

  They sat in silence for the next twenty minutes, during which time Holly went through every possible scenario in her head. She hadn’t a clue what he was up to, but it wasn’t long before they were in a quiet part of the countryside and he was parking the car in what seemed like the middle of nowhere.

  ‘Put this on,’ he said, handing her his jacket. ‘It’s going to be freezing.’

  Holly did as she was told and they got out of the car. It was almost pitch dark but she took his hand and allowed him to lead her. It occurred to her that she trusted him implicitly. And she would have followed him anywhere he’d asked. Josh had been right about the cold and she could feel the tip of her nose go numb as they headed into the darkness. They were going uphill and Holly was beginning to get out of breath.

  ‘Almost there,’ he said, putting a supportive arm around her.

  And then she saw it. It was like the one she’d always imagined. A castle on top of a hill. It was in ruins but it was beautiful to her. He’d brought her to the place of her dreams and she gasped at the sheer beauty of it as it rose into the darkness. Tears sprang to her eyes as she looked up, and she let them fall. And then Josh took her two hands, turning her to face him.

  ‘Holly, I know we’re both a little broken at the moment. I know we have scars which will take a long time to heal. But I’m hoping you’ll allow us to heal together.’

  ‘You remembered, Josh,’ she said. ‘You remembered about the castle on a hill.’

  ‘Of course I remembered. I told you, I never forgot a single thing about you. And I know it’s not exactly as it was in your dream, because in your dream you were getting married. But I thought the next best thing was to bring you here so that I could ask you.’

  Holly’s heart began to beat almost out of her chest. ‘To ask me what?’

  He gazed into her eyes and, despite his beaten-up face, she thought he’d never looked so beautiful. His piercing blue eyes shone in the dark and the dimple bounced in and out on his left cheek. And suddenly he was down on one knee, putting one of her hands to his mouth and kissing it gently.

  ‘Marry me, Holly Russo. Please say you’ll marry me. I let you get away once before and I’ll do anything to keep you from getting away again. I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. Please say you’ll marry me and we can make your dream come true right here, at your castle on a hill.’

  Tears poured down Holly’s cheeks but she didn’t care. ‘I love you too, Josh. I’ve always loved you.’

  ‘Is that a yes?’ he said. ‘Because if I don’t get up from this position soon, I’m likely to add a dodgy back to my list of injuries.’

  ‘Yes, yes. Of course it’s a yes.’

  He stood up and wrapped his arms around her. And then suddenly the sky seemed to brighten and they looked up to realise it was snowing. Big fluffy snowflakes falling all around them. Just like in her dream. But this was reality. And Holly had never felt so happy in all her life.

  One day they’d get married in a big castle on a hill. It would be Christmas time and it would be snowing. Her dress would be white and she’d have red roses for her bouquet. It would be like a fairy tale and they’d live happily ever after. One day.

  Acknowledgments

  For me, writing is the most wonderful job in the world. I feel lucky and privileged to do something I love every day and call it work. I adore the process of thinking up new characters and giving them life. I love forming their personalities, deciding what they’ll do for a living and being in charge of their destinies. If I like a character, I can reward him or her with a nice new job, a fancy car or even a lottery win. If I don’t like them, I can give them a nasty toothache, fire them from their job or push them under a bus. I love, love, love losing myself in another world – a world of my own making – a world where I literally rule! But like all jobs, sometimes things don’t go to plan. Sometimes I sit in front of a blank screen and can’t write a single word. Or worse still, I read back what I’ve written and realise it’s nothing but a load of rubbish. They’re the times that I want to hurl my laptop out the window and wish for a nice, steady nine-to-five job where I can clock off at the end of the day and go and watch Coronation Street. There have been a lot of those times over this last year. I’ve had moments of real doubt, wondering if I’d ever get this book written. Wondering if my writing days were numbered. Wondering how the hell I’d managed to have five books published when number six was refusing to cooperate! There’ve been tears, tantrums and a lot of over-eating (it’s important to feed the brain – mainly doughnuts and Belgian chocolate). I suppose what I’m saying, in a very roundabout way, is yay for me! I’ve managed to work through the storm and produce a book that I’m very proud of at the end of it all. But the truth is, I would have given up on many occasions if it wasn’t for the wonderful people in my life who cheer me on, encourage me, support me and love me through it all.

  I’ve said it so many times before but my husband, Paddy, is not only the love of my life but he’s my very best friend. He’s such a support to me, both practically and emotionally, and I really couldn’t do any of this without him. Our four wonderful children – Eoin, Roisin, Enya and Conor – are such a blessing and again, I couldn’t do this job without their input. I often discuss storylines with them and they’ll go away and think about what we’ve discussed and come back to me with their ideas. They read my books and let me know (sometimes with brutal honesty) what they think. Having four children and a crazy dog makes o
ur house pretty chaotic, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. So thank you Paddy, Eoin, Roisin, Enya and Conor (and a special mention to Bella!) for all your love and support and for bringing so much joy into my life.

  Thanks to my wonderful parents, Aileen and Paddy Chaney, who I love very much. They’ve always encouraged me to follow my dreams and I wouldn’t be where I am today without their endless support. Thanks to my brother and friend, Gerry Chaney, for all his help with photographs, technical stuff and especially for all the good advice. Thanks also to his wife, Denyse, who I consider to be the sister I never had. Denyse reads all my first drafts and her honest and straight-forward input is invaluable to me. Thanks to my extended family – brothers-in-law, sisters-in-law and especially my very lovely mother-in-law, Mary Duffy. Family is very important to me and I feel lucky and blessed with the one I have.

  I have so many friends who’ve been my cheerleaders over the last year and I know, without a shadow of a doubt, I couldn’t do this without them. To my very best, long-time friends, Lorraine Hamm, Angie Pierce, Dermot and Bernie Winston, Rachel Murphy and Sinead Webb – thank you for always being there. For putting up with me not returning your calls for ages and for forgetting special occasions (I’m not coming out of this well, am I?). It’s a sign of true friendship when we don’t speak for weeks or even months and then take up where we left off with no sign of awkwardness. Some of my writing friends I’ve only met in recent years but consider them now amongst my best friends. Michelle Jackson, Niamh Greene and Denise Deegan – thank you for the weekends away, the laughs and the drunken book ideas which will never see the light of day! Your friendship means a lot to me. Thank you Niamh O’Connor for always giving good advice and reassurance and for always being there. Thanks to the Avoca gang (you know who you are!) for all the chats, laughs and potential storylines. Our coffee mornings always fill me with inspiration and more importantly send me on my way with a smile on my face. I’m very lucky to be part of a wonderful writing community both in this country and in the UK. Writers are such a support to each other and without them, I wouldn’t have the confidence to do what I do. There are way too many to mention but I want to thank all of you writers who’ve helped and encouraged me since I began to write. You’ve come to my launches, listened to my moans, advised, encouraged and made me believe in myself. I’m very thankful for each and every one of you. I want to give a special mention to one person without whom, my writing would probably still be in a drawer at home. Vanessa O’Loughlin from Writing.ie and Inkwell Writers is a wonderful source of knowledge and help to aspiring writers in this country. She’s always on hand with advice and encouragement and I’m lucky to call her a friend.

  I seem to be using the word ‘lucky’ a lot but it’s exactly how I feel. Writing the book is just one part of the process and I feel extremely lucky to have such a wonderful team of professional people around me who work so hard to get the book onto the shelves. To my agent, the very fabulous Madeleine Milburn from the Madeleine Milburn Literary, TV and Film Agency. Thank you, Maddy, for all your help and support and for believing in me. I love being a part of the agency and look forward to many years ahead of working together. Thank you to the wonderful team at Hachette Ireland, especially my editor, Ciara Doorley, whose magic touch always makes my books better. Sometimes I think Ciara is crazy when she asks me to drastically change a scene or a character, but annoyingly, she’s always right! Thanks to Joanna Smyth for all her patience and help, and for always knowing the answer. Ruth Shern deserves a special thanks for putting up with me on our annual day out, when we visit bookstores. I’m sure she goes home with her ears ringing and her head pounding from listening to me chatter all day. Thank you to the rest of the team at Hachette – Breda, Jim, Bernard and Siobhan. It’s a pleasure to work with you all. Lastly, thanks to Emma Dunne for her editing on this book also. Her keen eye spotted a lot of things that I was just too goggle-eyed to see myself.

  Book bloggers are a very important part of the writing process for authors as we wait with trepidation for that first review. Most of these bloggers don’t get paid for what they do and yet we’d be lost without them. So I want to say a huge thanks to all the wonderful bloggers who read and review my books. Again, there are too many to mention but I want to say a special thank you to one in particular. Margaret Madden from Bleach House Library is a wonderful lady who offers endless support to authors. She’s completely selfless with her time and even sends out ‘Happy Mail’ if somebody needs cheering up! So thank you, Margaret, for everything. Thank you also to the book-sellers who do such a wonderful job in promoting my books. I still get teary-eyed when I walk into a shop and see a display of my books or spot some in a window. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.

  So last but not least, to my readers. I still can’t believe that people go into actual book shops and pay actual money to buy my books! It’s a real honour and it fills me full of pride. Your generosity allows me to wake up every morning and do what I love and call it a job. And hearing from my readers is my favourite part of the whole process. I love getting emails, tweets or facebook messages so please keep them coming. You can contact me through my website at www.mariaduffy.ie or on twitter at @mduffywriter. You’ll also find me on Facebook. So thank you from the bottom of my heart, my lovely readers, for your continued support. I hope to entertain you with my words for many years to come.

  Lots of love,

  Maria x