The Unbelievable Mr Brownstone Omnibus

by Michael Anderle

  Sergeant Mack shook his head “That’s inaccurate. Those men are no longer criminals. They work as licensed bounty hunters. They hunt down criminals. They are not criminals themselves.”

  “I’ve got statements here discussing how when James Brownstone’s home was being rebuilt, these criminals were acting as local toughs and threatening people, and at least some locals suggest they were stealing building supplies.”

  The lawyer continued, listing a myriad of the sins, real and imagined, of Trey’s gang.

  Trey started to rise, but Aunt Charlyce shoved him down with her hand.

  “What the hell you thinking you doing, boy?” she whispered.

  “That motherfucker’s twisting everything around,” Trey whispered back. “I’ve got something to say, and a nice, shiny shoe to shove up his ass.”

  Aunt Charlyce rolled her eyes. “He’s a lawyer. That’s what they do. The Devil himself is probably afraid to talk to lawyers. Probably sends them straight to heaven just to be safe, and a court of law is no place to put your shoe up anyone’s ass to make a point.”

  Trey glanced at James. The big man’s face was red, and he looked like he wanted to pick up the table in front of him and crack it over the lawyer’s head.

  I feel you, James. I feel you.

  Sergeant Mack laughed, cutting into the government lawyer’s parade of horrible anecdotes. “You know at one point, those criminals as you’re calling them, phoned the police to help us stop some dangerous gang members in that neighborhood. So, you’re telling me that James Brownstone associates with criminals, but what I see is a bunch of young men who now have legitimate jobs and respect the police enough to work with them to stop crime before it happens.” He shook his head. “Most so-called normal citizens don’t even do that. They don’t want to be involved, and—”

  “That will be enough,” Davis snapped. “I’m through with this witness.”

  The cop gave the judge a polite nod.

  The judge looked at James’ lawyer. “Counselor, do you have any questions for Sergeant Mack?”

  “Not at this time, your honor.”

  The judge nodded. “The witness is dismissed.”

  Sergeant Mack stood and made his way back to the gallery

  Davis grinned at Trey. “I call Trey Garfield to the stand.”

  Trey snorted and marched to the witness stand, adjusting his tie to make sure it was perfect before sitting. He was sworn in and glared defiantly at the lawyer.

  You made a mistake, you stupid motherfucker. Get ready to face the smoothest fucking Trey who’s ever lived.

  The lawyer sighed. “We already established that you were in a gang, so I won’t bother going over that again. I want to ask you instead about why you work for Mr. Brownstone?”

  The bounty hunter gave the lawyer a thin smile. “Taking down scumbags and criminals gives me a feeling of accomplishment.”

  “It’s not because it lets you be a violent thug and get away with it?”

  Trey took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “No, that’s not accurate, sir. I’d go so far as to say it’s completely inaccurate.”

  I’ll show you violent thug, you smug son of a bitch.

  Davis clucked his tongue. “It’s just a bit much to believe, you know? That some hardened gang leader turns over a new leaf and decides to become a good guy just because a bounty hunter asks him to?”

  Trey chuckled quietly. “Ever read any Marcus Aurelius?”

  “Marcus Aurelius?”

  “Yes. Oh, I’m sorry, I assumed a man of your education would know about him. Roman emperor, famous follower of the Stoic philosophy. Apparently, they didn’t cover that in law school when they were teaching you how to sue fast-food places.”

  Scattered laughs erupted from the gallery.

  The lawyer’s face reddened. “I know who Marcus Aurelius is, Mr. Garfield. My question is, how is he relevant to the matter of James Brownstone and your criminal past?”

  Trey grinned. “Well, as that man said, ‘The universe is change. Our life is what our thoughts make it.’ Who am I to question the wisdom of a Stoic Roman emperor?”

  More laughter followed.

  The bounty hunter nodded at James. “I don’t deny that I was a criminal, but Mr. Brownstone showed me a better path. He didn’t have to. He could’ve treated me like a piece of garbage, but instead, he showed me respect and held out a hand when I needed it, so I left the street and became better.”

  “I don’t care about that, Mr. Garfield—”

  “He gave me a hand up instead of a handout,” Trey continued, raising his voice. “And allowed me to shift from being street trash to the kind of man who can sit in court and quote Marcus Aurelius.”

  It took all Trey’s self-control not to add “fucking” between the Marcus and Aurelius.

  The government lawyer just stared at Trey, his eyes narrowed and hatred on his face.

  Trey leaned in and grinned. “If you want me to say that James Brownstone associates with criminals, then, yeah, I’ll say it loud and proud. James Brownstone associates with criminals, and many of those criminals, after dealing with him, realize that being a criminal is the path to ending up dead or in prison. Everyone in my gang is now not only law-abiding but taking down other criminals. That means that just by him being around, not even doing his normal thing, he’s making this city and country safer. Now, any other questions, counselor?”

  Take that, motherfucker.

  17

  Trey’s testimony was finished, and the lawyer called up Charlyce.

  A few minutes into the woman’s testimony, Davis was again red-faced and looked like he wanted to slap another Garfield.

  Charlyce gave him a soft smile. “Yes, I admit that I was homeless, and addicted to drugs. I admit to everything you just talked about. I was a shame to my family, myself, and the Lord, but you know what, Mr. Davis? I found God again, and then I found James Brownstone. And now, not only do I not live on the street, I have a full-time job, and I volunteer every week at an orphanage. Mr. Brownstone helped me, just like he helped my nephew. A hand up, not a hand out.”

  Davis frowned. “How do we know you’re not still involved in drugs?”

  “I will gladly submit to any drug testing the court or police want. My only drug is Jesus now.” She nodded and gave the lawyer a happy smile. “You could use a little church, I think, Mr. Davis.”

  The gallery laughed, and the lawyer gritted his teeth.

  “I’m done with this witness.”

  The judge looked at Silverberg, who had a big grin on his face.

  “I think Miss Garfield has already made everything abundantly clear.”

  Davis watched, disdain in his eyes, as Charlyce made her way off the stand. “Your Honor, I’d now ask that the court clerk read my next submitted exhibit, and I need the computer queued up to the next set of video clips.”

  James scrubbed a hand down his face. Things had been going well enough, between Trey and Charlyce’s testimony, but now things had shifted the other way as the court clerk read a police after-action report concerning the bounty hunter’s fight with Lars Hansen in the desert, punctuated with clips from the fight in all its brutal glory.

  Fucking cops seizing all that footage. Guess I should have figured that shit would come back to bite me in the ass. I never thought it would be this way.

  The clerk finished reading the report, and Davis shrugged.

  “Your honor, I think the police report and video clips speak for themselves. Mr. Brownstone basically challenged this Lars Hansen to a duel to lure him out to the desert and then murdered him. We see a pattern here of a merciless killer who takes lives when he has other options. A dangerous man, who shouldn’t be anywhere around a young girl.”

  Alison kept her lips pursed and continued giving the government lawyer a death glare.

  The judge nodded and scribbled a few notes. He looked at Silverberg. “Counselor?”

  “If it pleases the court, I’d like to ca
ll Lieutenant Maria Hall back to the stand.”

  “I object, Your Honor,” the government lawyer spat out. “Her testimony is highly prejudicial and obviously biased.”

  James’ lawyer chuckled and shook his head. “We’ve already established that the lieutenant is an expert in the matter of high-level criminals. In fact, my esteemed colleague is the one who established that. I don’t think it’s wrong to ask her opinion about this desert showdown.”

  The judge nodded. “I’ll allow it. I think I know how to filter out bias, counselor.”

  The lieutenant headed back to the stand and was sworn in again.

  James’ lawyer walked over to her with a smile. He nodded at the other lawyer.

  “So, he maintains that Mr. Brownstone lured a man out to have a duel with him and that it’s cold-blooded murder, but according to the official report, Mr. Brownstone, despite being ambushed, was still offering people a chance to surrender, and even offered this vicious Lars Hansen a chance to survive.” He lifted a transcript he held in his hand. “If I may quote Mr. Brownstone, ‘You’re not leaving here, Lars. I might not kill you, but I’m gonna break your legs at least. Then I’ll call AET and have them pick you up. I’m sure the cops would love to send your expletive to an ultra-max for what you did in Atlanta.”

  The lieutenant nodded. “That’s accurate, and matches with the footage of the fight the department recovered, even if not all of it was shown in court.”

  “How would you parse those last few statements in the context of what you know about James Brownstone?”

  The lieutenant shrugged. “Clearly, Brownstone wasn’t just out to kill the man, and I should also note that the other counsel neglected to show the portion of the fight where Mr. Brownstone disabled men and refused to kill them, but Lars Hansen did. That’s the kind of man Lars Hansen was.”

  A murmur rippled through the crowd. Davis scribbled some notes at his table.

  “And as for Atlanta…” The AET officer locked eyes with James, her next words coming out deliberate and slow. “Lars Hansen killed an entire AET team in Atlanta. Not just that, he’s killed many innocent civilians. What do you think James Brownstone was supposed to do to stop Lars Hansen? Sit down and have tea and crumpets with him? Challenge him to bowling?” She let out a bitter laugh. “The guy even stupidly risked his own life to drag Hansen all the way out to the Salton Sea so not one innocent person was at risk. Yes, he lured the man in a sense, but taking advantage of a dangerous criminal’s arrogance to make sure that no one else gets hurt sounds like something we should be applauding, not punishing, unless we want major showdowns with enhanced criminals to occur in downtown LA.”

  James grunted. It was nice to be understood, but he wished Hall had understood earlier, if only because she might have spoken to Shay on his behalf.

  Silverberg nodded. “Be that as it may, Lieutenant, even if he’s a good man who takes down criminals, he’s still in a dangerous line of work. I think the state would say that’s not something a young girl should be exposed to. What are your thoughts on that?”

  The other lawyer shot up. “Objection. Irrelevant and prejudicial. Lieutenant Hall is not a child psychologist, and not qualified to testify on how Mr. Brownstone’s lifestyle choices might affect Alice Anderson.”

  “Alison Brownstone,” the girl muttered under her breath.

  James’ lawyer laughed. “Your Honor, with all due respect, the state’s whole argument is that Mr. Brownstone is a dangerous man who is unfit to be an adoptive parent because of his profession. I think the input of a police officer in a particularly dangerous line of police work is relevant.”

  The judged nodded. “I’ll allow it.”

  Alison muttered a few choice things about Davis’ parentage under her breath. James resisted a chuckle.

  The lieutenant grinned with a feral intensity. “Should I be allowed to adopt a kid?”

  Silverberg shrugged. “I don’t know, Lieutenant. Should you?”

  She pointed to Sergeant Mack. “Should he? He’s a cop. It’s dangerous. I’m AET. It’s very dangerous. Should anyone in the military be allowed to? Should firefighters? I read an article the other day that talked about how dangerous being a commercial fisherman is, especially with all the sea monsters in the oceans these days. No fishermen allowed to adopt kids? Is that the kind of society we have now? We going to tell people who risk their lives that they aren’t good enough to take care of kids?”

  James’ lawyer nodded quickly. “That’s a good point.” He shrugged. “I don’t know. If we establish here that simply being in a dangerous line of work means you’re not a good parent, I guess the state’s going to have to take a lot of kids away from their parents.”

  The other lawyer glared at him. “Objection. Inflammatory, irrelevant, and prejudicial.”

  The judge shot a warning glance at the first lawyer. “Let’s keep things focused on Mr. Brownstone and Alison Anderson, counselor. Don’t make me remind you again.”

  “I apologize, your honor.” Silverberg shrugged. “I’ve no further questions for Lieutenant Hall, unless my esteemed colleague wants to talk with her?”

  The government lawyer shook his head.

  The judge picked up his gavel. “Lieutenant, you’re dismissed. We’ll have a ten-minute recess before continuing.” He banged the gavel.

  Alison stood and stretched. “I’m going to go get a drink. I’ll be right back.”

  James nodded. “You need any help?”

  “Nope. I’m good. Just need some air before I do something I regret to that scumbag lawyer.”

  James chuckled. “I know how you feel.”

  Alison waved and joined the flow of people leaving the courtroom.

  Shay leaned from the front row of the gallery toward James. “What the fuck was up with you offering them a chance to surrender, especially after that ambush shit? It’s bad enough that you went out to the desert and got yourself ambushed, but it’s beyond fucking moronic that you tried to play nice after that.”

  James shrugged. “I knew I was being taped,” he whispered back. “I couldn’t have everyone thinking I waste people without remorse, even though I mostly do. Lucky I did, otherwise that government lawyer would be going to town on me even more.”

  Shay snorted. “You’re lucky it worked out for you. Next time, kill them like you’re ready to get back in bed and they are making you late.”

  Silverberg returned to the table after a quick chat with the judge and smiled. “Things are going well, I think.”

  James shrugged. “If you say so.”

  The other man chuckled. “Trust me, barring any sort of weird surprises, I’m confident we’ll win.”

  Weird surprises? James was an alien bounty hunter trying to adopt a half-Drow girl. His whole life was one giant weird surprise.

  18

  Fifteen minutes later, James was annoyed by something that wasn’t a surprise. His lawyer had told him to expect a long list of statements about what a mercenary scumbag he was, but hearing them read aloud in the nasal voice of the court clerk annoyed the ever-living fuck out of him.

  The court clerk cleared her throat as she read off another statement. “I don’t get out of bed for less than a level three. Not worth the money. I’m not a charity.” She moved down to the next one a second later. “I’m not a Good Samaritan. I’m a bounty hunter, and I get paid. Come up with some cash, and maybe I’ll look into it. Otherwise, I don’t give an expletive.”

  Davis nodded. “Thank you. Your Honor, let the record reflect that all of those were taken from sworn statements by people interviewed by our office concerning James Brownstone’s attitude. I’ve also submitted into evidence several supplementary documents that contain even more sworn statements concerning Mr. Brownstone’s attitude toward money, and how it’s obvious that money, and not a concern for law and order, motivates him.”

  “Duly noted,” the judge responded.

  Alison rolled her eyes and leaned over to whisper. “Oh, becau
se it’s so wrong to get paid for your job? Not like that jerk is working for free.”

  The judge looked at James’ lawyer. “Counselor?”

  Silverberg smiled. “At this time, I’d like to call Detective West of the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department as a rebuttal witness.”

  The detective was soon at the witness stand and sworn in. He looked comfortable and poised.

  James’ lawyer sighed. “So, that’s a pretty damning list of people claiming that Mr. Brownstone is a scumbag who doesn’t care about anything but money, don’t you think?”

  “Objection,” Davis shouted. “Leading the witness.”

  The judge nodded. “Counselor, ask questions, don’t testify yourself. I won’t warn you again.”

  Silverberg gave a little apologetic shrug. “Of course, Your Honor.” He turned back toward the detective. “You recently had occasion to work with Mr. Brownstone during the investigation into an enhanced serial killer, the so-called Red-Eyes Killer, in Las Vegas, correct?”

  The cop nodded. “That is correct. Detective Lafayette and I.” He pointed toward his partner in the gallery.

  Silverberg nodded slowly. “And did you have any occasion to discuss Mr. Brownstone’s motivation for pursuing the Red Eyes Killer?”

  “Yes, I did, as did my partner.”

  The other lawyer frowned. “Objection. Hearsay.”

  James’ lawyer grinned like a hungry shark. “Were you present at this conversation that Mr. Brownstone had with your partner? That is, did you personally overhear everything said by Mr. Brownstone and your partner.”

  The cop nodded toward Detective Lafayette in the gallery. “Yes.”

  The judge pounded his gavel. “Objection overruled.”

  Davis sighed and shook his head.

  Silverberg gestured toward James. “Please tell us about any conversations you had with Mr. Brownstone about his motivations for pursuing the killer. Anything that would give us insight into whether money is his sole motivating factor.”