The Unbelievable Mr Brownstone Omnibus

by Michael Anderle

  He nodded toward the bikers. “What do you think those guys would do to me if they thought I had given them up to Brownstone?”

  Kathy laughed. “Brownstone? I think they wouldn’t do shit.”

  “Huh?”

  “The guy’s dog dies, he takes out houses filled with people. His girlfriend gets grabbed, he rushes across the city to kill whoever dared to do it.” Kathy leaned against the bar and shrugged. “You might be Brownstone’s bitch, but he’s the damned Scourge of Harriken. Being associated with him isn’t such a bad thing.”

  Tyler sighed. “Don’t know.”

  A rough-looking elf sat down at the end of the bar.

  Kathy started toward him before winking over her shoulder. “Just saying, if you’ve gotta pick a side, you might as well pick the winning one. I think you know who wins whenever someone goes up against Brownstone.”

  Tyler rubbed his chin as he considered that. A moment later the door opened, and Maria strode inside in full uniform.

  Fuck. Talk about things getting complicated

  The AET lieutenant marched up to the bar and jumped on a stool. “I’m off-duty, so give me something decent.”

  Tyler chuckled and grabbed some vodka. “How about a White Russian?”

  Maria shrugged. “Fine by me.”

  The bartender started mixing the drink. “Everything going okay?”

  “So far. We’re still tracking the thieves, but at least nailing down the circlet has the brass satisfied. The consulate was making noise about being unhappy that Brownstone was attached to all of this, but they suddenly did a one-eighty.”

  Tyler finished mixing the drink and set it in front of the woman. “They did?”

  “Yeah. First, they’re all, ‘He’s a disruptive element who probably harbors a bias against Oricerans, and we don’t want him involved in the recovery of the artifacts.’”

  The bartender snorted. “Brownstone is racist against Oricerans? He adopted a half-elf girl. He’s taken down more wizards and witches than Oricerans.”

  Maria shrugged. “That’s just what they said, but then not that many hours later, they contacted the police chief and expressed their full support for Brownstone being involved. They even said that if he needed extra resources, they could look into it. Don’t know. Politics is above my pay grade and gives me a headache.”

  Tyler chuckled. “Humans, elves, gnomes, witches… It’s all the same shit in the end. Everyone’s trying to put one over on everyone else.” His smile drifted away, and he sighed. “Without Brownstone’s contact lending him that artifact, I don’t think we would have gotten there in time.”

  “Yeah, from what we can figure, they probably got spooked by the circlet getting hot and knew you guys were coming.” Maria smiled at Tyler. “I came here about that, by the way.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Maria picked up her drink and took a sip. “I wanted to give you a personal thank you without being distracted by police shit.”

  Tyler waved a hand dismissively. “It’s no big deal. Shit, if I'm honest—and it annoys me to admit this—Brownstone did the heavy lifting. I mean, not like I didn’t do anything. He got the artifact, but then I got the intel that you guys were somewhere in Koreatown. It’s no big deal. He did all the kicking-down-doors shit.” He shrugged. “And like I told you, I need you to help enforce the Black Sun’s neutrality. If you died, the next AET lieutenant might not be so keen on supporting a guy like me.”

  The woman gulped down half her drink and let out a long breath before leaning in. “Look, I know what it takes to go into a situation where you don’t know what’s going on or the kind of danger you might face. I even know what it’s like to go in behind James Brownstone, and when I do that, I’ve got armor, a whole tactical team, and a pile of fancy toys to protect me.”

  Tyler stared into the woman’s dark eyes, unsure what to say.

  Maria grinned. “Your nuts must have been playing footsie with your tonsils. But we’re not kids. We should be real about this shit. I like you, and I know you like me. And I don’t like you because I think you’re the kind of guy who’ll kick down doors and charge into a warehouse to save me.” She looked around a bit before leaning over the bar and closer to Tyler. “But the fact that you showed up there with a gun? Not going to lie. It was an unexpected aphrodisiac.”

  Tyler opened his mouth to offer a retort or at least a response, but “Uh…” was all he managed.

  The cop grinned and threw back the rest of her drink. “I’ll be seeing you again soon, Tyler.” She winked. “All of you.”

  Maria set her glass and rose. She headed toward the front door, swaying her hips as she went.

  Kathy walked back over from serving the elf. She patted Tyler on the shoulder.

  “You are so screwed, and I mean that figuratively.” The brunette nodded toward the departing Maria. “And as soon as she can manage it, literally.”

  14

  Tak leaned back in the chair in his office and took a long, deep breath. The Council wouldn’t want excuses. They would want results, or at least the promise of results.

  It doesn’t matter. Everything is still proceeding well enough. We all knew there would be some losses along the way in this operation. Their cause can’t be achieved without the occasional setback. They aren’t naïve enough to believe otherwise.

  He couldn’t stall any longer. They were expecting a report, and the longer he waited, the more annoyed they’d be.

  The dwarf retrieved a small coin inscribed with glyphs and set it atop a flat wooden disk. A pulsating circle of light surrounded the disc, and a low hum filled the air.

  A few seconds later, six hooded and robed figures appeared in front of him. He’d almost believe they were here if he didn’t know better. The fact that they weren’t allowed him some small comfort.

  If I knew who they were, would I even care, as long as they kept rewarding me?

  “Report,” barked one of the figures. Even without seeing the face Tak could tell it was a male, probably an elf of some sort.

  The dwarf could never be sure who was in charge. Even though it always seemed like the same six people, it wasn’t always the same individuals in control of the conversation.

  Of course, it might not be the same six. It’d be easy enough to fake a voice and general size, especially via this remote link. They obviously all have powerful magic.

  Tak cleared his throat. “The project is proceeding per your instructions, but there have been some complications. That said, we are still well within the margin of error, and I don’t anticipate any issues with the overall completion of your goals.”

  Another figure stepped forward. “Complications? Elaborate.”

  This time the voice was feminine but husky.

  “The authorities were able to track my team to the first location before the vans split up. One of the men was killed on site, but he was disposable, so that’s not that important.”

  Several of the robed figures exchanged looks, their faces still hidden from Tak.

  A shorter figure stepped forward. A dwarf or gnome, perhaps.

  Could I end up on this Council someday if I prove my resourcefulness and loyalty?

  “Any artifact losses?” the short figure inquired.

  Tak nodded. “The authorities have the circlet. My men were forced to abandon it.”

  “Why would you abandon the circlet?”

  The dwarf shrugged. “There was a heat-resonance tracking spell being used that made it clear the circlet was being followed.”

  The short figure took a deep breath. “Unfortunate. We wished to study the circlet. Its abilities would have been useful for our plans.”

  “I understand that, but I was also told that a loss of any single artifact was well within the parameters of this operation.”

  The shorter figure shook his head. “I hope for your sake that this remains a single lost artifact.”

  The first speaker spoke next. “That was the only loss thus
far?”

  Tak nodded. “Yes, the rest of the artifacts were successfully evacuated, and with the authorities distracted, further anti-tracking magic was implemented. The minor artifacts, per your instructions, are already being disposed of in the local black market. The van that was carrying them is being used as a decoy.”

  The tall robed figure nodded. “The circlet is an unfortunate loss, but we will tolerate it—provided there are no further mistakes. The authorities don’t realize the importance of everything you’ve taken. Perhaps leaving the circlet behind will reinforce that erroneous idea.” He shook a dark-gloved finger. “But remember, Tak, when you serve the Council you earn great rewards if you please us, and agony if you displease us. Rhazdon was weak and short-sighted compared to us.”

  Oh, please. Do you think you scare me with Atlantean boogeymen? Such threats are beneath both of us.

  Tak kept a slight smile on his face. They wanted his fear, but he wouldn’t give it to them. He didn’t care about whatever inscrutable plans the Council had. The only thing that mattered to him was that they provided the rewards promised for completed jobs.

  “I’ve taken on several jobs for you in the past,” the dwarf offered, “and I’ve never failed you. I won’t fail you this time either. I will do what is needed and make the necessary sacrifices.” He held up four fingers. “There are four remaining vans with artifacts. Four clients. Everything’s proceeding as you ordered. Everything’s been transferred and consolidated. One contains generic artifacts to be sold for more funding, a second carries the artwork artifacts, a third has the artifacts for research, and the last will go into your vault. My men are implementing a plan to avoid being tracked.” He gave them a defiant stare. “I presume this meets with your approval?”

  “You are following directions well,” the tall figure replied. “We’ll grant you that, but there are still plenty of opportunities for the authorities to track you.”

  Tak shook his head. “The authorities had their one good chance at the warehouse, and they only managed to get the circlet. I won’t fail the Council, I promise you that. I know the price of failure.”

  The hooded figures all nodded.

  Another figure moved forward smoothly, as if gliding forward rather than taking steps. Even the outline of the robe around its body was unnatural and too stiff.

  “See that you don’t,” rasped the figure, its voice hollow. “Or I’ll be coming to visit you.”

  Heather rolled into the living room. Her son Noah closed the door behind her. He dragged in a small rolling suitcase before locking the door.

  The woman sighed. It was hard to even look at her little cherub’s face without feeling guilty. “I’m sorry, sweetie, that I couldn’t just share one more day with you. All that fun and sun. I know I promised a whole week, and… I’m just so sorry.”

  Noah shook his head. “It’s okay, Mommy.” He walked over and pulled her into a hug. “I love you, Mommy. We got to play a lot.”

  She offered him a bright smile. “I have to work tonight, but we can put on some cartoons and eat pizza. You just think about what sort of pizza you’d like. I’ll order any kind you want.”

  He cheered. “Yay! I want Hawaiian.”

  “Sure, sweetie. We can order a large Hawaiian, and I’ll order pop for you, too.”

  “Yay.” Noah clapped his hands together.

  “Why don’t you take your suitcase to your room? You can pull out those Disney pajamas we got and wear them later.”

  Her son bounced a few times. Heather sighed again as Noah scurried to his room with a happy look on his face.

  I hate that I have to do this to him, but helping James is the only chance we have for a real future in which we don’t have to be afraid anymore. I know he wouldn’t have called me back in if he didn’t have a good reason.

  Or is that just what I’m telling myself to feel better?

  Heather shook her head and rolled into her bedroom. She would make it up to Noah, but she needed to take care of business first. She pulled out her phone and called James.

  “Hey,” the bounty hunter rumbled. “You back in town? Or, shit, guess you could have helped from anywhere.”

  Heather sighed. “No, not really. Sure, I have the skills to do it, but I don’t want to be doing work while in a hotel room with shitty Wi-Fi, let alone around my son.’

  “Fuck. I’m really sorry about this.”

  “It’s okay. You don’t decide when criminals do what they do. Well, you did with Lars Hansen, but usually, you don’t decide.”

  James grunted.

  Heather allowed herself a chuckle. “Anyway, I just got back. I haven’t had a chance to check on anything about the museum yet, but I’ll hit the ground running tonight.”

  “Good to hear. Really gonna need your help with this shit.”

  “Is there anything in particular you want me to focus on?” She rolled over to her computer and moved the mouse. The screen lit up.

  “There were five vans at the warehouse,” James replied. “They were disguised as Andercarr delivery vans, but I have no fucking clue if the assholes have changed that since people saw them at the warehouse. The LAPD’s got drones flying around, but it’s not like they can stop every single delivery van out there. Do what you can to help track them down first. They hacked the surveillance system at the museum so it might help you to look into that. You know better than I do how to look into shit using computers.”

  Heather cradled the phone between her shoulder and cheek as she started typing. “Need any active drone support?”

  “Nope, not really. I’ve got Shay with me, so I’ll have someone guarding my back.”

  The hacker clucked her tongue. “Working with your girlfriend. Don’t know if it’s a good idea.”

  “It’s fine. Shay and I share the same philosophy on beating people down. Oh, yeah, that reminds me. Just so you know, Peyton will be working this job soon. Is that gonna be a problem?”

  “Nope.” Heather chuckled. “If anything, it’s good.”

  “Good?” James asked.

  “Yeah. This will let me prove who the better hacker is.”

  The wizard smiled as he looked out the window.

  The sun hung low in the sky. It’d be setting soon. Even if the building lights and signs made sure it was never truly dark in Los Angeles, a little extra cover would help disrupt the authorities’ attempts to track them.

  The wizard tried to push the lingering fear out of his head. Word was that James Brownstone might be involved with tracking the artifacts.

  What do I care if Brownstone is involved? He’s a bounty hunter, not some bloodhound or a god. Last few major showdowns involved people coming to him. There’s no way he’ll track us down, not with the magic anti-tracking we have now.

  The man licked his lips, his heart pounding. He needed to concentrate on his immediate task and get things ready for the next artifact transfer.

  Fuck Brownstone. He hasn’t dealt with an organization like us before.

  The SUV sped toward a highway tunnel, traffic dense around it. Most people would have been annoyed to have driven into rush-hour traffic, but the driver of the SUV couldn’t stop grinning. Everything was going according to plan.

  Yeah, just follow the plan, and soon we’ll be safe and away from Brownstone.

  The wizard reached underneath his jacket and pulled out his wand. “We’re almost there. This is going to go quickly once I start. Make sure you’re paying attention, so you don’t kill us.”

  “I know how to avoid accidents.” The driver snorted. “Just give me a countdown. That way I’m not surprised, and you don’t got nothing to worry about. Just do your thing, Harry Potter, and let me do mine.”

  “Fuck you. Call me that again, and I’ll use this wand on your dick.”

  The driver grinned. “Make sure the guys in the van are still ready. You’re sure about that spell behind us?”

  “Yeah. It won’t last long, but it’ll last long enough.” The wiza
rd glanced down at the phone in the console and the last text.

  Closing on the tunnel. Get ready

  “They haven’t sent another message,” he announced.

  The driver nodded. “Then make a little magic happen, baby.”

  “Five,” the wizard began, “four, three, two, one.”

  Time to make a distraction.

  The driver jerked the wheel hard to the side. The wizard raised his wand and muttered an incantation, and a bright flash lit the darkened tunnel. Five cars ahead of them, the very unfortunate driver of a sedan suddenly had to contend with two simultaneous blowouts.

  Tires screeching and rims sparking, the sedan swerved, and the driver of the pickup behind the car slammed on his brakes.

  Too damned slow. The vehicles collided, and several more cars behind the wizard’s SUV hit their brakes as well. The hideous crunching of metal echoed through the tunnels. Debris shot up and around, some colliding with the tunnel roof and sparking.

  Shit. That worked better than I’d planned.

  The two men gritted their teeth as a car slammed into them from behind. The briefest blue flash revealed the protection spell cast over the SUV. More and more cars stopped.

  A shower of debris fell as traffic ground to a halt.

  The wizard opened the window and looked both ways. With a truck and multiple cars on their side in front of them, no one would be getting through the tunnel anytime soon, and with all the cars behind them, the police and wrecker responses would be slowed.

  He grinned. His phone chimed with a text.

  Good job. We’re about 10 cars back. See you soon

  15

  Peyton rubbed the back of his neck as he stared at his screen. Long-range drone footage had helped him spot the five vans as they’d initially departed, but he’d lost them after that. His search of the dark web had helped him locate the items on the black market, and he’d passed that information on to the Professor directly at Shay’s request.