The Unbelievable Mr Brownstone Omnibus

by Michael Anderle

  The wizard shouted an incantation, and a bolt of lightning blasted from the wand and struck James’ shoulder. He flew back and slammed into the car behind him, the window cracking.

  Fuck. Glad they didn’t have a car alarm.

  The bounty hunter stood and winced. Whispy Doom was doing something approaching laughing in his mind. He understood why. The amulet had been well-trained on electricity, thanks to Shay.

  One of the other wizards, a skinny guy with a porn-star mustache, launched a white-hot orb of flame at the bounty hunter. James didn’t even bother to dodge.

  He winced as the orb slammed into him, stinging him with a light burn. He’d soloed King Pyro while wearing his amulet. These guys would have to do a lot better with fire and heat to hurt him.

  The third wizard frowned but didn’t attack.

  The non-wizards stared at James, their mouths open. They’d obviously expected him to be dead already.

  “That all you got?” James snorted, whipped up his gun, and opened fire. Shay joined him.

  The enemy’s rifles and pistols came alive, and bullets sparked near both groups. Windows shattered. Three of the thugs went down within seconds, rounds to their heads or chests. Only one man with a heavy weapon, Mr. RPG, was left.

  Several bullets zipped right past James, only to turn around and strike him in the back. They stung but didn’t accomplish much. A pile of half-melted bullets lay beside Shay as well. Her angel ring was keeping her safe.

  James almost wanted to laugh. The two gun mages looked confused and frustrated.

  “Got to do better than just shoot me in the back,” the bounty hunter taunted.

  James rushed away from the Dodge as Mr. RPG lined up his weapon. The shot hissed through the air and blew the Dodge onto the vehicle next to it, forming a fiery pyre of melted metal.

  The car beneath survived, but its blaring alarm joined the cacophony of the battle. The alarm died a moment later when the scarred wizard delivered a zap.

  “Close your eyes, James,” Shay shouted.

  Do not close, the amulet ordered. Adjusting.

  Listening to strange alien amulets was probably a bad idea, but James did it anyway. He winced as pain shot through his eyes.

  Shay ducked into the next row of cars and threw a flashbang. One of the other wizards mumbled an incantation, and the grenade bounced back before going off.

  The following bright flash blinded their opponents, but James’ vision cleared up in less than a second.

  Fuck. That’s cool.

  Reverting vision defense, the amulet whispered.

  James hissed as pain struck his eyes again. He shook his head.

  Why not just leave it on?

  Insufficient resources.

  The criminals were less prepared than the bounty hunter. The entire group of men stumbled back. One man accidentally shot another in the face.

  Shay laughed. “Different ways to take guys down. Damn. I wish I had another on me. I have more in my box.” She gunned down one of the men.

  James shook his head. “Don’t you dare go near my truck until they’re all dead.”

  “Whatever.” The tomb raider squeezed off a few more rounds, and two more men collapsed to the ground. She tried to nail one of the wizards and the bullet bounced off an invisible shield, but her two quick center-of-mass shots at the gun mages had them flat on their backs in a pool of their own blood a moment later.

  Idiots. Should have worn a bulletproof vest.

  The amulet continued to burble happily but quietly in the back of James’ mind, pleased with the death-dealing in the parking lot.

  The bounty hunter didn’t bother with any of the wizards. He methodically aimed and fired at their backup, sending four men to the ground, blood spraying from head wounds.

  The third wizard made careful and quick moves with his wand, and a blue haze surrounded the men. Their instant change in stance and improved aim ended Shay’s and James’ shooting gallery fun.

  Oh, he’s just there to keep them alive, huh?

  James and Shay both nailed the sucker with a rifle at the same time, the bounty hunter in the chest, the tomb raider in the head. He spun like a top before falling.

  No shield. Too bad.

  The rifleman joined the other eleven bodies on the ground. By now, their blood had pooled together to form a crimson lake.

  Every car in the area was riddled with bullets and had new red paint jobs. The delivery van’s windows were shattered, and its back wheels were both flat. Several cars were on fire.

  A bolt of lightning missed Shay by inches. She ducked, reloaded, and shoved her gun in her holster.

  “Down to three versus two,” James shouted. “It was unfair before for you, and now it’s even more fucking unfair.”

  The wizards all raised their wands and chanted something in Latin in unison.

  “Whatever, you can keep trying to use a lightning bolt. That shit’s not gonna work on me.”

  The chanting increased in speed and volume. James tried to put the wizards down, but his bullets just kept bouncing off.

  The bounty hunter holstered his pistol. “Fuck. I think we’re gonna have to get close. Even if I can’t get through with my fists, I can distract them, and you can use the sword.”

  “Try this.”

  She pulled out an adamantine knife and tossed to him. James snatched it out of the air. He liked the weight and balance.

  Shay’s hand dropped to the hilt of her sword.

  The wizards finished their chant. A glowing translucent image of a massive dragon’s head appeared in front of them.

  “What the fuck is that?” James muttered.

  “Something not fun,” Shay suggested.

  Joy blasted from the amulet. Adaptation.

  The dragon spat a pulsating blue-green orb. The bounty hunter leapt back, as did Shay. The orb smashed into his previous location, exploding in a massive wave of blue fire. The wave slammed into James and sent him flying into the air.

  He grunted in pain as he crashed to the ground between the rows of cars and directly in the path of the enemies. The front of his shirt had been incinerated, and the smell of his burned flesh filled his nostrils. Cuts covered his body.

  Not just normal fire, huh? Shit. Glad I have a spare shirt in the truck.

  Yes, the amulet hissed. New damage. Grow stronger.

  Whispy Doom’s exhilaration continued to flood into James.

  I feel like I just went through a shower of burning knives, and you’re happy?

  Adaptation. Grow stronger.

  Shay lay several yards away, not in as bad of shape, but still bleeding from several wounds. Her glow had vanished, and her ring had turned to wood.

  Guess she’s out of power.

  The dragon’s head vanished, and the scarred wizard laughed.

  “You had me worried there for a minute, Brownstone. I actually thought we might not be able to beat you.” He tapped his wand in his palm. “You know what, though. The best part about this is that this isn’t over. After all, you think I don’t watch the news? Think I didn’t hear all about that little half-Oriceran bitch you adopted?”

  James gritted his teeth and let out a low growl.

  Kill the enemy, the amulet roared in his mind. Destroy the enemy.

  The wizard raised his wand and took a few steps forward. He waved some smoke from the nearby burning car out of his face. “You don’t realize who you are fucking with this time, Brownstone. We’re going to kill you here, then we’re going to track down your little daughter. We’ll kill her nice and slow, and the entire time we’re going to tell her it’s Daddy’s fault.”

  James pushed himself off the ground, only distantly aware of the pain beneath the storm of rage in his mind. Shay shouted something, but he didn’t even register it. There was only one thing that he cared about at that moment—killing the motherfucker who had just threatened Alison.

  Yes, yes, yes, the amulet hissed. Sufficient power.

  20 />
  Shay blinked as she watched James.

  Shit, the tomb raider thought. I always knew there was more to that thing.

  Silver-green tendrils shot from the amulet embedded in his chest. The tendrils flattened and spread out, covering his chest, back, and right arm with a textured metallic silver-green second skin. A glowing spike covered his right hand and forearm.

  Shay tried to push her pain out of her mind and pull her sword. She needed to help James before he got himself killed. Just because Whispy Doom had new tricks didn’t mean the bounty hunter couldn’t be killed.

  The scarred wizard stepped back with a frown. “Guess you still have a few cards to play, Brownstone? Doesn’t matter. You’re wounded, and you’re still going to die. I like seeing you struggle. It’s more fun this way. I’m sure it’ll be like that with the girl, too.”

  A bolt of lightning followed. It struck James square in the chest. He stumbled back but didn’t flinch. Another bolt followed. Then another. The electricity crackled around the bounty hunter.

  He only growled in response.

  Porn-star Wizard tried a few fireballs to help his friend. They slammed into James’ chest, darkening the armor there, but not doing much more. Another shot nailed his uncovered upper thigh, burning through his jeans and singing the skin underneath.

  James stalked forward, raising his right arm and the spike.

  The support wizard swallowed and raised his wand to summon a glowing red shield between James and the men. It cut across the entire parking garage, including through several vehicles, but it didn’t damage them.

  The bounty hunter tilted his head and stared at the scarred wizard, not saying anything.

  Shay pulled out her tachi. “Take cover before they use the other spell again.”

  James didn’t even look at her. He let out a low growl and charged the wizards.

  You idiot. They just put up a barrier.

  Fire and lightning struck him every few seconds as the panting wizards finished their incantations, but he continued closing. He slammed right into the red barrier and bounced back.

  The magical attacks stopped, and the scarred wizard laughed again. He wiped the sweat off his forehead. His quick casting was obviously taxing him.

  The man sneered. “Desperation isn’t a strategy, Brownstone.”

  Shay ducked and crept toward the men in the small amount of space behind the cars. She hoped the field was weaker at the edges.

  James stood and slammed his spike into the field. It pierced the barrier with a flash.

  The tomb raider blinked and stopped moving forward.

  What the hell?

  James slashed back and forth until the barrier vanished.

  The support wizard’s eyes widened. “Impossible.”

  The bounty hunter sprinted toward the man and impaled him through the head. He yanked the spike out and spun toward the other men. They stumbled backward, both throwing another attack at his leg. The blackened flesh of his thigh suggested a serious injury, but he continued stalking forward, his eyes locked on the men.

  With a blur, the spike became a flat silver-green blade. After a quick slice, Porn-star Wizard’s head fell from his body.

  The scarred wizard kept walking backward as James advanced on him. A cement pillar stopped his escape.

  “What the fuck are you, Brownstone?” the man yelled.

  James roared and sliced the man’s head off, but his attack didn’t end. He kept hacking and slashing the man’s body. The man’s blood splattered all over him as he continued.

  Shay sheathed her blade and jogged over to the bounty hunter. “It’s over, James. They’re all dead.’

  He spun, growling slightly. “Alison.”

  The tomb raider held up her hands. “Is safe at the school. She’s safe, and these guys are all dead. It’s all over.”

  “Alison,” James repeated. He let out another low growl and glared at the pieces of his last victim.

  Shay sighed. “She’s safe.”

  The bounty hunter gave her a faint nod. The new armor and weapon retracted, and he took several deep breaths.

  “You okay?” Shay asked.

  James nodded. “Yeah. Just got a little pissed, is all.”

  “Yeah, I’ll say.” She shook her head.

  It’s like Whispy Doom got stronger because of his anger. Do we really want him using a weapon that requires him to fucking lose his shit?

  Heather frowned as she stared at the various bright circles on her screen. “Peyton, I think I’ve got something.”

  He mumbled, but she couldn’t understand him.

  She rolled her eyes. “Even my son knows to not talk with his mouth full.”

  “Sorry,” Peyton replied. “What do you mean, you think you’ve got something?”

  “I was filtering through some satellite data, and I’ve got a general direction the last van was going. From what I can tell, it headed to Mar Vista.”

  A crunching sound came over the line.

  “What now?” Heather asked.

  “Wanted some chips, too. Textural counterpoint, you know? Mar Vista, huh? One second.”

  This time she only heard typing and not crunching.

  Peyton laughed. “And you mocked the weirdness reports.”

  Heather blinked. “You’re serious? It worked?”

  “Kind of.”

  “Define ‘kind of.’”

  Peyton chuckled. “Some old woman with too much time on her hands complained to a local neighborhood board about suspicious delivery vans in the area. She says she’s seen one circling the area, and she thinks it’s part of a human trafficking plot.”

  Heather frowned. She immediately clicked to another window on her second monitor to find cameras and drone feeds in Mar Vista. “She didn’t call the cops?”

  “No. She doesn’t trust the cops, because she says, and I quote, ‘The cops are all controlled by the Illuminati, who are controlled by gnomes from Zurich who came over from Oriceran a thousand years ago.’”

  “Sounds like a real credible witness.” Heather snickered. “But, for all we know, she’s right.”

  “Maybe she’s right about gnomes, but she says it was an Andercarr van. Apparently, UPS isn’t controlled by the Illuminati, but Andercarr is. She got a license plate number.” He rattled it off.

  Heather clicked to the Andercarr database she’d hacked and entered the number. “Guess what?”

  “What?”

  “That van isn’t owned by Andercarr.”

  Peyton laughed. “Score one for crazy old ladies.”

  Heather smirked and found several drone feeds. She started feeding their footage into her search algorithm. “Race you to finding the van.”

  “You’re on.”

  The hacker continued sending data to her algorithm as she moved from camera to camera and drone to drone. The bastards were there. They just had to find them.

  “Got it,” they yelled in unison ten seconds later.

  Heather frowned as she looked at the screen. “Shit.”

  Peyton chuckled. “You go ahead and make the call. You need to develop your ‘giving Brownstone good news and bad news’ skills.”

  “Okay.” Heather pulled her headset off and grabbed her phone. She dialed James.

  “Yeah?” James rumbled on the other end.

  He sounds pissed. Then again, he always sounds kind of pissed.

  Heather rubbed the back of her neck. “Good news is, Peyton and I found the last van.”

  “What’s the bad news?”

  “It’s already backed up to a warehouse.”

  James snorted. “Nah. That’s great fucking news.”

  “It is?”

  “Yeah. It means we don’t have to chase their asses.”

  Dannec’s eyes darted back and forth as he handed Maria the potion. They still stood in the aftermath of the last attack, uniformed officers and police cars all over the area. CSI had also arrived, but the contract forensics mage they had on staff
was nowhere in sight.

  “That’s it? One potion?” Maria frowned.

  The elf shrugged. “I’m not a magical pharmacy, Lieutenant, and just so you know, that’s a minor potion. It’ll help you if you’re a little banged up, but it’s not going to help your seriously wounded men at the hospital.”

  “Well, fuck. Thanks for nothing.”

  The elf shook his head and tapped the deflector hanging on her chest. “Just keep in mind that without my help, a lot more cops would have died tonight.”

  Maria gave him a nod. “Yeah, you’re right.” She eyed the potion and then downed it.

  Dannec raised an eyebrow.

  “If it can’t really help my men, then I need to heal myself, because I need to be there when we take down the last of these bastards.” The pain in her leg started to ebb. “Brownstone and Shay took out a whole batch of them, and they found a shitload of artifacts.”

  The elf frowned. “AET took a heavy beating today. How are you going to go after anyone else?”

  “I sent a small team to a different site. They aren’t hurt, and we’ve got enough people from this team who are more than willing to volunteer even if they are a little scratched up.” Maria shrugged. “And if we know where the bastards will be, we can have better equipment ready, too.”

  The elf reached into his pocket and pulled out a small handkerchief. The cloth expanded into a laden bag. He handed it to Maria.

  She took the bag and opened it. It was filled with rifle magazines. “What the hell is this?”

  “We had a discussion not all that long ago where you mentioned a shortage of anti-magic bullets. You’ll be paying for these, of course, but I thought it might help.” Dannec gave her a polite nod. “Now I have to leave. I’m allergic to all this law enforcement.”

  The elf turned and started walking toward the street.

  She watched him go until an indicator on her wrist control informed her that her phone was ringing. Without her helmet, she’d have to take the call the old-fashioned way. She pulled her phone out of her tactical belt and looked at the caller ID.

  “Hey, Shay,” she answered. “Something else turn up?”