The Unbelievable Mr Brownstone Omnibus

by Michael Anderle

  Shay snorted. “Bullshit. Whenever people start taking shots at you, it never stops with the first few idiots.” She frowned. “This shit’s gonna escalate. As fun as fake wizards are, there are real people out there who want you dead. I wouldn’t be surprised if the first guys were just to feel you out. You should be considering getting out of town for a few weeks until we can chase this all down.”

  “No fucking way. I’m not afraid of those assholes. If they have to test me, then they don’t have what it takes to kill me. So fuck them. I’ll kill every one of the bastards who comes at me.” He scoffed.

  Shay rolled her eyes. “It’ll be really inconvenient if someone blows your house up again, and if you have to live at my place, keep in mind it’s gonna be my rules, not your OCD KISS Brownstone shit.”

  James scrubbed a hand over his face. “Fuck. I should issue a public challenge. Just get them to come at me all at once. Tyler can even make some money off it.”

  “No.” Shay slapped her hands on her hips. “No fucking way. We’re not gonna give up any shit to anyone until we know who we’re dealing with. For all you know, the minute you do that, you give them some special spell focus they can use to melt your balls.” She leaned forward. “Not only that, but they already didn’t mind going after you in public. If you issue a public challenge, they might not let you pick a dried-up lakebed. They might just decide to come after you in the middle of LA. You ever think about that?”

  James frowned. “Then I’ll just wait until Tyler and Heather turn something up.” He leaned back against the couch. “I’m annoyed at all this shit. It’s so fucking complicated. How many asses do I need to kick before people understand they don’t fucking come after me?”

  Tyler took a breath and slowly stood, staring down at the message on his computer.

  No, no, no. I don’t want to have to go there again. Not so soon.

  A light knock came from his office door.

  “Come in.”

  Kathy stepped in, a slight smirk on her face. “You going to hide back here all night, Tyler?”

  He frowned. “I’m not hiding. I’m looking into this Brownstone hit.”

  The smirk vanished, overwritten by curiosity. “Any luck?”

  Tyler blew out a breath. “The few things I’ve found make me think this isn’t over, and this is a lot more hardcore magic than anyone realizes.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m going to have to hit some magical contacts.”

  Kathy closed the door, crossed her arms, and leaned against the wall. “So? Dannec doesn’t even charge you that much, all things considered.”

  “If only it were that easy.” He shook his head. “Fuck, from what I’ve found out these guys are linked to serious dark magic. Dannec won’t cut it. I’m going to have to go to the Eyes.”

  Kathy snickered. “That thing or guy or whatever the hell he is redefines ‘creepy as fuck.’” She shook her head. “You’re gonna end up dead if you keep sticking your nose into things you don’t understand.”

  Tyler scoffed. “That’s what being an information broker is. No way you can reach the top if you’re afraid of a few…weird contacts.” He narrowed his eyes. “You know what. You should go talk to the Eyes.”

  She paled. “What?”

  He pointed at her. “You’re always talking about how you want to up your game. Well, time to put on your big-girl panties and prove it. If you want to be more than a third-rate backup for me, you’ll need to learn to deal with guys like the Eyes.”

  Kathy swallowed and forced a grin onto her face. “Sure. Bring it on. If the guy hasn’t eaten you yet, he’ll love me.”

  Tyler smirked. “Keep in mind that whatever he is, he’s not human, so being a hot brunette isn’t going to mean shit.”

  Kathy winked. “Don’t worry, I’ve got a lot more assets than a nice pair of tits and a great ass.” She stepped out of the room and slammed the door too hard.

  More nervous than you’re letting on? Good. You shouldn’t be relaxed around the Eyes. It’s safer that way.

  Tyler fell back into his chair and shook his head. It’d be a good test, and he needed to make better use of the beautiful and intelligent woman anyway.

  Brownstone’s got a whole fucking army working under him now. I’ve been so greedy that I’ve been too afraid to hire another bartender, and I fired all the waitresses.

  He shook his head. Losing to Brownstone in ass-kicking or intimidation was one thing, but some things weren’t acceptable.

  Tyler slammed his fist on the desk. “There’s no damned way I can let Brownstone be a better businessman than me.”

  James wandered down the sidewalk several blocks from his house. Every once in a while, someone would pass him in a car and give him a wave or a nod.

  He chuckled. Although he’d hosted several community barbeque events, it was rare that he walked around his neighborhood. He wasn’t sure if people were more or less comfortable with the famous James Brownstone after those.

  Community outreach wasn’t his goal, though. Ever since he’d almost hit the dog, he hadn’t been able to get it out of his mind. Was the dog a pet? A stray? Some rich family’s dog who had gotten lost and was far from home?

  James grunted.

  Rich family? Shit. I could buy up most of this neighborhood. I keep telling myself I’m not some rich asshole, but I could stop bounty hunting right now and not know how to spend all the money I already have.

  He patted his chest. The last thing he wanted to do was have a major fight in his neighborhood, but if any trouble looked like it was coming, he could bond with the amulet in seconds.

  Shit. Maybe I should just be bonded to Whispy all the time.

  No, that was a terrible idea. He narrowed his eyes. Maybe the only reason he was still in control was that he didn’t keep himself constantly connected to the amulet. What would it be like to have Whispy Doom in his head all the time? The damned amulet could nag him into submission if anything could.

  James kept moving. He needed to find the dog. Once he did, he could get it out of his head, and it’d be one less thing distracting him. One less thing making his life more complicated.

  The seconds stretched into minutes, and then into an hour before he finally caught sight of familiar dark fur in an alley behind a convenience store. James charged toward the alley.

  A couple coming out of the grocery store yelped and hurried back inside.

  Shit. I’m not going after a bounty, people.

  This time he got a good look at the dog. Dark, short, flat coat and floppy ears, good size, probably over sixty pounds. James wasn’t an expert, but he’d read enough websites on dogs when he’d first gotten Leeroy to have memorized many breeds. If he had to guess, he’d say the dog was a mix of a Labrador Retriever and Weimaraner. That made the dog a so-called Labmaraner.

  He wasn’t sure if some people would consider the dog a designer breed or just a mutt.

  The dog zipped down the alley before he could get close to it. James picked up the pace, but despite all his gifts, an impressive sprinting speed wasn’t one of them.

  He reached the end of the alley and looked both ways down the street. No sign of the dog.

  “Fuck. Why is the dog running? Oh, because some huge tattooed asshole is chasing him.” James let out a loud groan and scrubbed his face with his hand.

  There’s got to be a better way to find that dog.

  9

  Kathy tried to steady her hands as she stepped up to the fearsome Kilomea guarding the double doors to the Eyes’ converted warehouse.

  Purple suit and gold chains? Tyler wasn’t kidding. The guy really does look like an ogre pimp.

  The Kilomea silently stared down at Kathy, curling and uncurling his meaty hands.

  Yeah, I get it. You’re super-intimidating.

  “I’m here to see the Eyes,” she managed to say without a single squeak. “On behalf of Tyler.”

  The Kilomea sneered. “What? He piss himself last time he was here, so he se
nds you?”

  Kathy shrugged. “Something like that. Maybe.”

  The bouncer snickered and threw open the doors. “You know where to go?”

  She nodded quickly.

  “Then fucking hurry. I’m only letting you in because my boss says he’s taking a liking to Tyler.” The Kilomea gave her a toothy grin. “Maybe someday he’ll take his soul.”

  He’s just trying to fuck with you. Don’t react.

  Kathy shrugged. “That sounds…interesting, but I should really talk to him. Time-sensitive matter.”

  She managed a grin and stepped through the doors. They slammed shut behind her, and she sighed deeply. A second later, she coughed on the thick smoke in the air and shook her head, hurrying straight down the hallway and doing her best to ignore all the people lying about, not dead, but their minds elsewhere, the flicker of magic around them.

  Always got to find a new way to get high. That’s humanity for you.

  When Kathy arrived at her destination, another set of double doors, she was surprised by the presence of two gnomes. Tyler had told her to expect an elf and a human guard.

  One of the gnomes eyed her with obvious disdain.

  Wonder what a gnome is looking for in a hot woman? Probably not someone taller than him.

  “What?” the gnome barked.

  Kathy straightened her back to project confidence. “I’m here to see the Eyes on behalf of Tyler.”

  The gnomes exchanged glances, and the first one knocked once. He held out his hand. “Your purse. Or you can just give us the gun inside it.”

  Kathy snorted and handed the gnome her purse.

  The gnome sneered. “Enjoy your visit, Miss.”

  Annoyance outweighed her fear, and she rolled her eyes.

  Fuck you. Men are fucking annoying whether they are tall or short.

  The gnome opened one of the doors.

  Kathy stepped inside the dimly lit and empty room and took several deep breaths as the gnome slammed the door shut. She waved her hand to try to push some of the smoke out of her face.

  She sensed them before she worked up the courage to turn toward them, the two solid-yellow glowing eyes not attached to a body. She blinked, and for a second she thought she could make out the vague outline of a shape beneath and around them, but it was gone as soon as she concentrated.

  “Now Tyler sends his underlings,” the Eyes offered in a voice barely above a whisper. “Does he fear me so much, Kathy?”

  The Eyes already knows my name? I didn’t even tell that asshole at the front.

  Kathy shrugged. “Probably.”

  “Do you?”

  She considered lying for a second, but there didn’t seem to be a point. “Yes.”

  A wheezing laugh followed. “Why?”

  Kathy shrugged. “Because I don’t know what the fuck you are, so I can’t even begin to figure out how to deal with you.”

  The creature jumped to another shadowy corner in an instant. “What do you know, then? This is your one chance to impress me. The only reason I do business with Tyler is that he impressed me at our first meeting. If you fail, you will leave this place with nothing. If you fail severely, you won’t leave this place at all.”

  She swallowed, her heart thundering. Her first instinct was to yell he couldn’t get away with killing her and that Tyler knew where she was, but she didn’t voice the thought. The Eyes killed all sorts of people and got away with it.

  “You have a body,” she blurted. “Even though it’s hard to see. I think it’s right where we’d think it should be, however weird it might look.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  Kathy forced her most triumphant grin onto her face. “Pure observation.”

  The glowing yellow orbs wandered from the shadows until they stared right into Kathy’s eyes from inches away. “Explain your observation, little girl.”

  Kathy took a deep breath and slipped her hands into her pockets so he couldn’t see them shaking. “This place. It’s too secure if you’re the ghost you want to pretend you are. Why the big bouncer?”

  The Eyes let out another wheezing laugh. “That’s it? That’s your great proof? I have clients who are indisposed and not capable of protecting themselves. Security is necessary for their benefit, not mine.”

  “Bullshit,” Kathy shouted. She winced.

  Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m not dealing with Tyler here. I need to watch my mouth.

  He moved closer until his yellow eyes were so close they were almost touching hers. A biting chill stabbed Kathy’s face, and she grimaced and forced her own eyes to stay open.

  “Explain,” the creature demanded. “Choose your next words carefully. If they are wrong, you die right here, right now.”

  Kathy managed to keep her body from trembling, even though every instinct in every cell screamed for her to turn and run from the monster in front of her. “The Kilomea might be there to protect your guests, but you have guards in front of your room; guards who disarm people.” She shook her head, her heart still pounding but her confidence building. “That doesn’t make sense if you’re a bodiless demon. If you were immune to guns, you wouldn’t care. You’d let someone shoot you and laugh in their face, and you don’t have the Kilomea take the guns, so you’re less concerned about someone shooting a guest than you claim.” She shrugged. “Not saying someone could take you out with a single shot, but obviously you can be shot. You can probably bleed.”

  The Eyes backed up several feet and took his chill with him. “A deception, perhaps.”

  Kathy shook her head. “You like being theatrical. It’d make more sense for you to let someone try to shoot you. I don’t know why we can’t see your body, if it’s naturally like that or it’s a spell, but I do know if say, James Brownstone came here and decided to kick your ass, you might be in trouble. Even the Eyes can know fear.”

  Complete silence gripped the room. Kathy’s heart beat harder as the seconds ticked away.

  The Eyes’ barking laugh turned into a wheeze. “You impress me, little girl. Let’s talk about your threat—your Brownstone. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?”

  Kathy nodded quickly. “Someone’s trying to kill him. He wants to know who.”

  “What will you give me for this information?”

  She shrugged. “What do you want?”

  He winked back into the original shadowy corner where she’d first spotted his eyes. “Will you give me anything I ask?”

  “I might be inexperienced, but I’m not a fucking moron. There’s no way I’ll give you anything you want.”

  “Clever girl.” The Eyes chuckled. “A freebie, to welcome you to your new world. Next time, it’ll cost a lot more, and there may be a test.”

  Kathy narrowed her eyes. “A test?”

  “I see…potential in you. Younger, more flexible in mind. Brave. Braver than Tyler. Sharper. His mind sees only money. Your hunger is different, deeper. More fundamental.”

  She couldn’t stop the tremors of revulsion that passed through her. “Okay, then. We can…talk about different tests and projects in the future, but what about the information I came for?”

  “One left,” the Eyes wheezed. “One left from the Council. Not a traitor, but not really one of them. He Who Hunts. He craves more now, and Brownstone is the key to something grand…awful or good, I can’t say, but grand. He’s sent men.”

  Kathy looked down for a moment and nodded. “Where is this…thing hiding?”

  “I won’t tell you.”

  “Can’t or won’t.”

  The Eyes disappeared. “Maybe both,” he whispered into her face.

  Her skin crawled. “Is there anything else about it?”

  “Brownstone has already felt their touch. Others have as well. Look for the signs. Look for the tunnels.”

  Kathy stepped back toward the door, sensing she wasn’t going to get much more and wanting to get far, far away from the Eyes and take a shower. “Thank you.”

  When she turn
ed around, she found the glowing yellow eyes right front of her. She hissed in surprise.

  “I’ll be watching,” the Eyes whispered. “Watching to see if you’re worth my further attention.”

  He disappeared again and Kathy rushed for the double doors, throwing both open, snatching her purse from the gnome and running down the hall.

  Heather tapped on her keyboard, trying to narrow down possible locations. From what James had passed along to her, he was being targeted by the last remnants of the Council and their base of operations might be associated with tunnels somehow.

  She sighed and shook her head. It wasn’t exactly like Los Angeles had a shortage of tunnels.

  A click of the mouse brought up a window filled with search query hits, a mix of unusual sightings associated with either tunnels or anything near tunnels.

  Heather narrowed her eyes and clicked on the third entry on her list with a frown.

  “Strange sightings near abandoned subway tunnels,” she murmured. “On the same day James was attacked.”

  On a hunch, Heather clicked to another window, a missing person database. She performed a search for Los Angeles County starting the day of James’ attack. She then checked the same time interval before the day of James’ attack.

  A pretty big uptick. Why hasn’t this been in the news?

  Heather scanned the list and ran searches on some of the missing people. The pattern became clear quickly: runaways, prostitutes, and street people for the most part. The kinds of victims that a city was willing to ignore or at least not pay special attention to.

  Her stomach twisted, and she sucked in a breath. She wasn’t naïve enough to believe any of those people were still alive.

  If I correlate the missing person reports with the subway tunnel sightings, I can probably narrow down the location and get James a search area at least.

  Heather took a deep breath and slapped her cheeks. If the missing people were victims of the last remnants of the Council, it might be too late to save them, but it wasn’t too late to get revenge for them.