Nothing To Lose: A Grey Justice Novel

by Christy Reece

  “Thank you. You look quite dapper yourself. And, yes, I’m having a lovely time.”

  He lowered his voice. “Hope you’re not enjoying yourself too much, because it’s time to leave.”

  She replied in an equally quite tone, “Are you sure? Adam’s coming back with a glass of champagne for me.”

  “I’m following Irelyn’s orders.”

  Since the woman knew more about men than Kennedy thought there was to know, she wasn’t about to question Irelyn’s decision. With a cool nod of approval, she allowed Eli to take her arm and lead her through the throng of people.

  Halfway to the door, Adam appeared at her side. “Where are you going? I have your drink.”

  “I want to see Sophia and Violet before they go to bed,” Eli said.

  “Hell, isn’t that why you have a nanny?”

  “Yet another reason why I’m thankful you never had children.”

  “Yeah, you’ll be voted father of the year, I’m sure.” Adam swung his gaze to Kennedy. “I can take you home. There’s no reason for you to leave.”

  “She’s with me, Adam. I will see her home. Why don’t you go pay attention to DeAnne? She looks a bit lonely.”

  “I don’t believe I need you telling me to pay attention to my own wife. At least mine didn’t swallow a bottle of pills to get away from me.”

  Before Eli could respond to his brother’s incredibly cruel jibe, Kennedy said icily, “Gentlemen, if you’re going to act like spoiled children fighting over a favorite toy, I believe I can find my own way home.”

  Eli grabbed her arm and pushed her forward. “You’re going home with me.”

  Before she could respond or even gauge Adam’s reaction, she was out the door. They walked through the lobby of the hotel in silence. Though he still gripped her arm firmly, thankfully he had loosened his hold a little. She could feel the tension in his body and knew that Adam’s last words had hit him where he was the most vulnerable. What kind of man, much less a brother, made that kind of comment about a man’s dead wife?

  The instant they were seated in the car, Eli released her and then slumped back into his seat. “I’m sorry about that. You’d think I’d be immune to Adam’s barbs.”

  “It’s hard to be immune when he strikes cruelly at something so incredibly painful. I’m sure you miss her terribly.”

  “Shelley’s been gone a long time.”

  “That doesn’t mean you stopped loving her or missing her. Death doesn’t destroy love.”

  Sadness and something like bitterness darkened his eyes. Kennedy knew almost nothing about Eli’s relationship with his wife, but she got the feeling it had been complicated.

  “You still love Thomas?”

  The abrupt question surprised her. About to say absolutely, she stopped herself and thought about the question. The answer was yes, of course, but was it that simple? Thomas would always be in her heart and mind. He had been her first love, and for so long, she’d believed her heart could never consider taking the risk again. Now she wasn’t so sure.

  “I will always love Thomas.”

  A fleeting, bleak expression crossed his face. “I’m glad to know that kind of love really exists.” Then, as if they hadn’t discussed anything so intensely personal, he became all business. “How do you think it went tonight?”

  “Good…at least, I think so. He seemed rattled at my lack of awe.”

  “Irelyn read him perfectly. Adam is so used to having women fawn all over him, a woman who doesn’t intrigues him. Add that to the fact that you look sexier than any woman there tonight.” He grinned in a boyish, charming way. “The man is probably in tears.”

  Proving that sophisticated Ice Queen Rachel had definitely left the building, she blushed to the tips of her toes. Sexy?

  Clearing her throat, she touched on a topic that still worried her. “You said that Adam wouldn’t be interested in sleeping with me.”

  “He won’t. Oh, he thinks he will, but when it comes down to it, he’ll want to conquer you, not have sex with you.”

  “And what exactly does conquering mean?”

  “Having you behave exactly as all the other women he’s met. You keep up the attitude, and I guarantee you, you’ll receive an offer to work for him.”

  “How long do you think it will take?”

  “Neither discipline nor patience is Adam’s strong suits. When he sees something he wants, it’s hard for him to rest until he has it. I would expect him to approach you within the next few weeks.”

  Weeks. The thought both excited and scared her. The possibility that very soon she would be offered an opportunity she’d thought she might have to wait years for was stunning. Thank God for Irelyn’s training.

  “I didn’t meet your father. Our eyes met briefly, and that was it.”

  “Staying off Mathias’s radar for right now is a good thing. He’s not the one who’ll bring you into the Slater fold. Adam’s our target.”

  Eli glanced down at his watch. “Would you mind very much if we went to my house first before I drop you off? I really did promise my daughters I’d tuck them in tonight.”

  “That’s no problem. In fact, I’ll call Nick, and he can pick me up at your house. That way, Gunter won’t have to go out again.”

  She didn’t add that she simply wanted to see Nick as soon as possible. She knew he had tapped into the cameras at the party and looked forward to hearing what he thought of her performance.

  A disturbing thought flitted through her mind. Would he prefer the coolly elegant Rachel to the slightly awkward Kennedy? As much as she enjoyed the playacting, she could never be Rachel Walker all the time. But Rachel was more the type that Nick dated in the past. The thought depressing her, she sighed unconsciously.

  “You okay?”

  “Yes.” She grimaced to make her excuse seem more real. “These shoes are becoming more uncomfortable by the moment.”

  “Why don’t you give Nick a call then? That way he can be there not long after we arrive.”

  Taking the cellphone from her purse, she punched the speed dial for Nick. When he answered, she heard the concern in his voice. “You okay?”

  “I’m fine. But would you mind picking me up at Eli’s house?” She recited the address Eli gave her.

  “Be there in ten minutes.”

  She was about to thank him and hang up, but he surprised her by saying softly, “Great job tonight. And you looked just as beautiful on camera.”

  Glowing at the compliment, she dropped the phone back into her purse. It wasn’t until Eli spoke that she realized she’d been staring into space, smiling like a lovesick teenager.

  “You have a close relationship with Gallagher.”

  “He’s been a good friend, and he was my husband’s best friend. They went to school together.”

  “He seems to care a lot about you.”

  Since she was only discovering that the feelings she and Nick had were moving into a realm beyond friendship, Kennedy didn’t respond. How could she talk about something that she could barely comprehend herself?

  They remained silent the rest of the trip to Eli’s house. A giant gate opened just as the car approached, and they traveled several hundred yards along a winding drive before stopping. Kennedy didn’t know what she had expected but certainly not this fairytale, castle-like mansion, including turrets and a door that looked large enough to admit a giant.

  “A bit pretentious, isn’t it?” The wry tone of Eli’s statement cut into what she was sure looked like wide-eyed amazement.

  “I think it’s beautiful…perfect. Every fairy princess’s dream.”

  “That’s what my daughters think, too. My wife had it built after falling in love with a similar one in England.”

  “You had no say in the matter?”

  She had meant to tease him, but the bleak look returned to his eyes. “I was otherwise occupied.”

  She didn’t ask what had kept him from being involved in building their home. Whatever the re
ason, it pained him to remember.

  They were halfway up the steps when an older, heavyset woman opened the enormous door. “The girls were just about to get into bed. I assured them you would be home to tuck them in.”

  “Thank you, Teresa.” He glanced down at Kennedy. “Rachel, this is the children’s nanny and our housekeeper, the completely indispensable Teresa Longview.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Teresa.”

  “Thank you, ma’am.” Teresa beamed at them, her expression easy to read. She thought Eli had brought a date home for a romantic evening. Her words confirmed this. “I’m so happy to make the acquaintance of such a lovely young woman. Can I get you something while you wait for Mr. Eli to return?”

  “Thank you. But I can’t stay.”

  “Nonsense. Mr. Eli won’t be long. I’ll just light the fireplace in the family room.”

  “No, really… You see, I’m not—”

  Eli interrupted. “Teresa, would you mind making some of your famous apple pancakes for breakfast in the morning?”

  The woman’s face went even brighter. “That would be my pleasure, Mr. Eli. Let me double-check and make sure I have the right apples.” She scurried away as if on an important mission.

  “Sorry,” Eli said when she was out of sight. “Thought it would be easier not to explain and disappoint her. Teresa’s been after me to find my children a mother.”

  “So I take it you don’t date often?”

  His mouth took on a bitter twist. “You know what they say, once burned and all that.” His eyes darted to the stairway. “Hope you don’t mind, but I want to catch the girls before they fall asleep. And if I know Gallagher, he’ll be here before I get back.”

  “You go on up. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  She watched him run up the grand staircase with an energy and eagerness she hadn’t seen in him before. Whatever problems Eli had, one thing was certain: He adored his children.

  “Would you care for tea while you wait?”

  Kennedy turned back to see Teresa’s disappointed face. She’d obviously realized that Kennedy wasn’t here on a date with Eli. “Thank you, no. My friend should be here soon to pick me up.”

  “You’re not Mr. Eli’s girlfriend?”

  “No. I’m his executive assistant.”

  “I see.”

  And because she was curious about Eli and his deceased wife, she couldn’t help but ask, “Did you know Shelley, Eli’s wife?”

  “Yes. Poor dear girl. So troubled. Mr. Eli did everything he could for her. You would think those sweet, precious babies would have been enough to keep her happy. She seemed to be getting better, and then one day Mr. Eli found her on the floor in her bedroom. She’d been gone a couple of hours by then. Nothing could save her.”

  “How sad.” She had read the newspaper reports. Shelley had died from an overdose of sedatives and alcohol after struggling with addiction for years.

  Headlights from a car flooded the room. Though she would have liked to know more about Eli and his family, she breathed out a happy, relieved breath. Nick.

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Nick barely paid attention to the mansion as he waited for the door to open. Ever since Kennedy had called him, he’d been focused on one thing only—assuring himself that she was okay. He’d watched her on camera, and though he hadn’t been able to hear her, her facial expressions had been priceless. And so had Adam Slater’s. The man couldn’t have been more obvious that he was enamored of the beautiful and standoffish Rachel Walker.

  He was surprised when Kennedy opened the door. Her smile was bright, but her eyes revealed the stress she’d been under.

  “Thanks for coming to get me. I hated for Gunter to have to bring me home.”

  Nick led her to the car, wanting with all his might to gather her into his arms and tell her how damn glad he was to see her. Instead, he allowed her to make small talk until they were both in the car and back on the road.

  “Want to talk about it?”

  “You saw everything that happened. How do you think it went?”

  “I think you’ll have Adam Slater begging you to work for him within a matter of days.”

  “Eli agrees, though he said it might be weeks.”

  “Were you nervous?”

  “Yes and no. Having already met him helped. Even though that first meeting was a big flop, at least I had gotten over the initial shock. Seeing Mathias was a little more daunting.”

  “Didn’t look like you two spoke to one another.”

  “We didn’t. Eli said that was a good thing. Getting Adam’s attention is our focus, not Mathias.”

  “You did a damn good job of that. Hard to believe this was your first outing.”

  “Thanks, but that’s the key word, isn’t it? First. Even though you and Eli think it will happen quickly, who really knows how long it will take Adam to decide he has to have me as his assistant? If he ever does.”

  “Then we’ll find another way.”

  She shot him an amused look. “Optimism? From you?”

  “Maybe I still have some left.”

  “After what you’ve been through, it would be impossible to not be changed in some way.”

  He didn’t bother to tell her that her disappearance had been a lot harder on him than the bullet that had almost killed him. It’d taken awhile and a lot of work, but he had recovered from his injury. He hadn’t been sure he’d ever get over Kennedy’s complete absence from his life.

  Wanting to forget that hellish time, he moved on to a more pleasant topic. “Hungry?”

  “Starving. How did you know?”

  “Remember, I watched you at the party. You ate exactly half a cracker with some nasty-looking goop spread over it and a few swigs of water.”

  Her eyes danced with laughter. “That goop probably cost more than my first car.”

  “Hope it tasted better than it looked.”

  “Actually, it didn’t. I’ve always been more of a cheese-and-crackers kind of girl.”

  “How about something more substantial than cheese and crackers? Want to have dinner with me?”

  Her expression was almost comical. “Dinner? With you? In a restaurant?”

  “Yeah. Dinner, with me in a restaurant. Why is that such a shock?”

  “I don’t know. Guess I haven’t been to dinner at a restaurant in so long, it surprised me.”

  “Is that a yes or no?”

  “Yes. Definitely, yes.” And then she smiled.

  His breath hitched. That was the smile he’d missed, the one he’d fallen in love with years ago and hadn’t seen in too damned long.

  Ten minutes later, Kennedy and Nick were sitting in an elegant Italian restaurant discussing wine selection. Nick had asked for a table close to the fireplace, and despite the fact that the restaurant was crowded, they were seated within minutes close to a cozy, romantic fire. The ease with which he had gotten what he asked for reminded her that he had dated numerous women and probably knew every trick imaginable to get a table.

  The thought punched a big hole in her bubble of happiness. When he’d asked if she wanted to have dinner with him, she’d been startled but excited, too—almost as if they were going out on a date. But remembering that Nick dated and discarded women as casually as one changed shoes, her excitement quickly ebbed.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Why do you think something’s wrong?”

  “Because I know you.”

  Uncomfortable that he’d read her so correctly, she blurted out the words before filtering them. “Going undercover like this has probably put a serious crimp in your social life.”

  She hadn’t meant to sound so flippant or ungrateful. Instead of calling her out for her catty remark, his response stunned her. “I haven’t dated anyone since Thomas was killed.”

  “No one? But I—”

  He leaned forward and spoke with an intensity that sent goose bumps all over her body. “Did you actually think I could date anyone
, have any kind of normal life, until I found you?”

  Momentarily stunned, Kennedy could think of nothing to say. The pain in his eyes was unlike any emotion she’d seen in him, and her heart ached. She should have found a way to let him know she was okay. She had been thinking only of herself, her needs. She touched his hand. “I’m so very sorry. Forgive me…please?”

  With mercurial speed, his intense look disappeared. “I’ve found you and you’re safe. That’s all that matters.” He dropped his gaze to the wine list. “What sounds good to you?”

  Disappointed in the shift in conversation—she felt as if she’d been on the edge of a major discovery—Kennedy made a couple of suggestions. Nick knew much more about wines than she did. He made the choice and ordered for them. Once that was done, they talked about ordinary things, like weather forecasts and whether the Cowboys would make the playoffs this year. They were munching on their salads when things turned serious again.

  “Do you see Julie very often?”

  He shook his head. “Not really. After I woke up in the hospital and they told me you were missing, we saw each other almost every day. I think when she realized you weren’t coming back, we sort of lost touch. Last time I saw Hank, he told me she was getting even more involved with her charity work than she had before. Even got elected to some state boards. Said staying busy helped.”

  Tears welled in her eyes. “I can only imagine how much she hates me for leaving like that.”

  “I’m sure she doesn’t hate you. When this is over, she’ll be very happy to see you.”

  “I hope you’re right…and I hope I get to see her again. I’d love to think I could go back to my old life…my old friends.”

  “You’d want to go back?”

  “Yes, of course. I—” She stopped herself. For so long it had been her dream to find the people responsible for Thomas’s death, bring them to justice and return to her old life. Resume her old friendships, go back to law school…be Kennedy once more. Now, she realized that might not be possible. That life was the one she had built with Thomas. Her circumstances and appearance weren’t the only things that had changed. She wasn’t the same person she’d once been. Did she even want the same things as before?