Nothing To Lose: A Grey Justice Novel

by Christy Reece

  Nick rubbed his grit-filled eyes. Sleep wouldn’t come for a long time. How could he rest when her last words to him continued to slam into him with the force of a jackhammer? She had seen straight through him. The excuse he’d thrown at her—that she would never get over Thomas—had been a coward’s attempt to hide his own guilt.

  She had once asked him if he had talked with Thomas after his death. He’d thought about it a lot. When he was a kid missing his mother so much he’d wanted to smash the world to bits, talking things out with her had helped. Self-therapy? Some people might have laughed, but he knew to his soul that talking to her had helped him survive.

  Something else that had helped him survive had been Thomas. Without his friendship… his persistent, unending cheerfulness, Nick figured he’d have been dead or in prison by now. If for no other reason than what Thomas had meant to him…done for him, he owed him this.

  Taking a shaky, determined breath, he stared into the darkness and said, “Thomas… I—”

  He rolled his eyes. Damn, he felt stupid. What he’d done as an eighteen-year-old kid was a lot harder at thirty-three. But if he didn’t get this said and out of his system, there was no way in hell he was ever going to find any peace.

  “I…” Rubbing his hand down his face, he blew out an angry, desperate breath. “Guess you know by now that I’m in love with Kennedy. Have been for a long time.”

  He paused, trying to come up with the right words. Then, as if a dam burst, they exploded, “Thomas, I’m sorry. So damn sorry. I never meant this to happen. When you started dating Kennedy, I was happy for you. You guys were great together. You loved each other so much. Then the longer I knew her, the more I realized that I couldn’t stop thinking about her. She was sweet and beautiful…so incredibly kind. She could light up a room just by walking into it. And her smile is like—” He stopped, shook his head. “You already know all that.”

  He took a breath. “Remember the summer before you guys got married…right after you announced your engagement? Remember I disappeared for a few days? Told you I had some family business up north I needed to take care of? That wasn’t what happened. I stayed in my apartment, forced myself to come to terms with the truth—you and Kennedy were meant to be together. You made her happy, and I know she made you happy.

  “Then everything blew up. You got killed. Believe me, I would have done anything to prevent that. Not only because it hurt Kennedy so much, but because…well, I loved you, too, man. You were the best friend a guy could ask for.”

  He swallowed hard, cleared his throat. “The thing is, Thomas. I still love her…I always will. That year and a half that she disappeared was about the worst time of my life. I’d lost you and then got shot. That was bad…real bad. But Kennedy…not knowing where she was, if she was okay.” He shook his head. “That’s a hell I’ll never get over.”

  “So…here’s the thing. I love her…want to be with her for the rest of my life, and I really need you to be okay with that. I promise to cherish and protect her.” He let out an abrupt laugh. “That is if she’ll have me after I’ve been such an asshole the last few weeks.”

  He cleared his throat again. “So…uh…that’s it. That’s where I am.”

  Nick sat there for several more minutes. He didn’t know what he’d thought would happen. A lightning bolt? Some kind of vision of Thomas giving him a thumbs-up? Of course, nothing like that occurred. He still felt silly and foolish.

  The longer he sat there, the more he realized that he felt something else, too. A lightness, a lessening of guilt…an increasing feeling of relief as if he’d just gotten something major accomplished. And he guessed he had. Thomas was up in heaven, he had no doubt about that. And he’d heard Nick’s confession. Everything was out in the open. He hadn’t felt this free in years.

  Wiping tears from his face he hadn’t even been aware of, Nick turned his gaze back to the monitor. Expecting to see the woman he loved sleeping peacefully, he jerked upright at the sight of an empty bed. Where was she?

  He leaned forward, trying for all he was worth to see beyond the limited view of the camera. Then he saw her. The camera’s angle caught a small section of the mirror, giving him a minuscule view of her bedroom door, showing Kennedy, dressed in black, creeping out her bedroom.

  Dammit, no. This wasn’t their plan. Where the hell was she going?

  Chapter Thirty-eight

  Blood pumping with adrenaline, a jubilant Kennedy returned to her room. When she’d left half an hour ago, she’d had little hope of finding the room on her first try. She had been set on eliminating a small area each night, believing her search would take days, if not weeks. If she hadn’t been specifically looking, though, it would have been easy to miss.

  The door to Adam’s office was so large that the eye saw that and nothing else. Unless you were looking for something else. To the left of the door was a small alcove with a security pad. To a casual observer, the pad appeared to be a thermostat control. She’d examined the device thoroughly and was convinced it was a keypad to get inside. Did a door slide open or the wall push in? She didn’t know…that would have to be discovered later. Her goal for the night had been accomplished, and she was quite pleased with herself.

  Of course, if Nick could see her, he would most likely want to spank her. Her only comfort was that at three in the morning, he would be asleep. He’d told her he wouldn’t sleep until he saw her get into her bed and turn off her lights. Then he would rest. When he woke in a few hours, he would have no idea that she had made a major find.

  She stifled a giant yawn as she practically ripped off her clothes and fell into bed. Her last thought before she drifted into a sound sleep was how impressed everyone would be when she told them what she had found.

  Nick was at Eli’s office just after dawn. He knew Kennedy was safe—he’d seen her come back less than half an hour after she’d left her bedroom. That didn’t lessen his worry or anger. In fact, seeing her saunter back in like nothing had happened had pissed him off mightily. Just like the night of the dinner party, she had gone off-script and disobeyed a direct order.

  The instant he had seen her sneak out of her room, he had called Justice. Though the man had shared Nick’s concern, he had urged caution. Showing up at Adam’s mansion in the middle of the night as Grimm, her asshole ex-boyfriend, demanding to see her, might have caused more harm than good. However, he’d been disturbed enough to get Eli on the phone. They’d been in the middle of a conference call discussing a possible extraction plan when Kennedy’s bedroom door had opened and she’d returned.

  Just where the hell had she been sneaking around at three in the morning and who had seen her?

  A security guard had been waiting at the front door of the Slater House building and had sent him up to Eli’s office. He sat in the outer office, waiting for Justice and Eli to show. He didn’t want to gang up on Kennedy, but she needed to know the risk she had taken was unacceptable. She was there to listen and report back, not to go out on her own and get herself killed.

  The elevator doors opened, and both men walked out. They looked only slightly less disturbed than he felt.

  “Did you talk to her?” Nick asked.

  Eli shook his head. “I called Adam and told him we were having trouble with a project that Rachel had headed up. He agreed to let her come to the office to iron things out. I don’t like asking favors from him but didn’t feel we had a choice.”

  “I agree,” Nick said. “I’d like to talk to her alone.”

  Justice nodded. “No problem, but before you do that, something happened last night that both of you should know about.”

  Nick was about to ask what when the elevator doors opened again, and there was Kennedy, safe, secure and looking only mildly curious. When she saw all three of them together, she rushed forward, her eyes wide with worry. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

  “Why don’t we go into my private office?” Eli said.

  The instant the door was
closed, Kennedy whirled around. “What’s happened?”

  “Before Gallagher has his say,” Justice said, “I need you to know something, Kennedy. The man directly responsible for Thomas’s death…the man who arranged everything, is dead.”

  Her legs suddenly weak, Kennedy found the closest chair and sat down abruptly. Nick came to stand beside her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

  “How do you know…how did it happen?”

  “We received a report last night.” Justice said.

  “Did someone shoot him or something?”

  “No, he had a heart attack.”

  That seemed so unfair. This evil man had arranged for innocent people to be murdered, but he got to die of natural causes.

  “This was Irelyn’s source,” Kennedy said. “Is that going to cause any problems in our plans?”

  “No. He hadn’t been useful to us in a while.”

  Grey stooped down in front of her, his expression sincere, compassionate. “I wanted you to know so you can decide if this is enough.”

  She stared at him blankly. “Enough?”

  “Do you want to stop pursuing the Slaters? I know you wanted the man responsible for Thomas’s death to pay. Now that he’s gone, I wanted to give you an opportunity to withdraw. We will continue to go after them, but if you choose not to, I understand.”

  She was shaking her head before he finished his sentence. “That man might have arranged the murder, but he was hired by the Slaters. They still need to pay.”

  “And you want…?”

  “I want to continue. We’ve come too far to back out. It won’t bring Thomas back but Adam and Mathias are responsible for his death and need to pay for their crimes.”

  He nodded and then stood to face Nick. “And Mr. Gallagher?”

  She just realized how quiet Nick had been. Glancing up at him, she was stunned at the decidedly unfriendly look he was giving Grey.

  “Kennedy and I need to talk. Then you and I will discuss the matter and a few others.”

  “As you wish.” A slight amusement entered his eyes. “I look forward to that discussion.”

  His gaze dropped back to Kennedy, the compassion she’d glimpsed before now gone, replaced by a hardness he rarely showed her. “You need to know something else. I stand by whatever decision Mr. Gallagher makes. Understand?”

  No, she really didn’t. Of all the bizarre ways to start her day. She’d been woken from a sound sleep by Adam’s voice coming over the intercom like some kind of otherworldly entity. He had mentioned the ability to contact her this way, but waking up to his voice had been jarring. When he’d told her that Eli needed help with a project she had headed up and could she get to his office immediately, she’d sprung out of bed like a slingshot. Something major must have happened for them to arrange a meeting.

  And now this announcement, along with everyone’s odd behavior. Eli was standing in the background, silent but as solemn as the other two men.

  “Is that agreeable to you, Mrs. O’Connell?”

  Grey’s hard voice shook her out of her stupor. Why was he suddenly acting so harsh with her and speaking so formally?

  “That’s enough, Justice,” Nick growled. “Kennedy and I will talk and decide together how we’ll proceed.”

  “Very well.” He glanced at his watch. “I have several issues I need to attend to, so I’ll take off now.”

  He strode toward the door and was almost out of the room when Nick called after him, “We’ll talk soon, Justice.”

  Without turning back, Grey said, “I’m sure we will,” and closed the door.

  “Well, I guess while I’m here, I’ll get some work done.” Eli headed toward his formal office. “If you need me, let me know.”

  Somehow, Kennedy got the idea he was talking directly to Nick.

  The instant the door closed, leaving her alone with Nick, she jumped to her feet and whirled to face him. “What on earth is going on here?”

  Nick battled within himself. At first all he’d wanted to do was shake Kennedy until her teeth rattled. But now, seeing her safe and sound, his first instinct was to hold her close. He chose a combination of the two. Cupping her face with his hands, he covered her mouth with his, savoring the soft, sweetness of her lips, swallowing her gasp of surprise.

  Before she could respond, he pulled away, grabbed her shoulders and shook her slightly. “What the hell were you thinking?”

  “What on earth are you talking about? Will you please tell me what’s going on?”

  “Why don’t you tell me where you were at three this morning?”

  “What? I don’t…” Comprehension came quick. “I was going to tell you about that. I—”

  “What’s the number one thing I told you not to do?”

  “You told me not to take any chances, but I had to do this, Nick.”

  “Dammit, you still don’t get it. What would have happened if Adam or one of his staff had caught you?”

  “I was going to tell them that I’d lost my earring and was looking for it. I even had one in my hand to show them.”

  She looked so damned proud of herself he wanted to kiss her and then shake her all over again.

  “Did you ever consider that Adam might have people watching you just to make sure you’re not out to betray him?”

  She huffed out an exasperated breath. “So this meeting…this overreaction, is all because I went searching? Nick, I—”

  “Overreaction? Just what kind of reaction was I supposed to have when one moment you’re asleep and the next you’re sneaking out of your room? Do you honestly think that Adam wouldn’t have you killed at the first sign that you’re not who you say you are?”

  “I know exactly what he’s capable of, but how am I supposed to just sit back and wait when I know I have a viable lead?”

  “Because that was our agreement. We’re a team…remember? If you get some intel, you find a way to let me know, and then we’ll decide how to proceed together. Going off on your own isn’t going to accomplish anything other than get you killed.”

  The conflict was there in her beautiful eyes. She was so damned independent and stubborn. How ironic that he found those qualities so attractive and yet they might end up getting her killed.

  She released a ragged breath, and he knew he’d finally gotten through to her.

  “Fine. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”

  “You had to know I’d have my eyes on you.”

  She grimaced, guilt shadowing her face. “I thought you would be asleep. That I could be gone and back before you noticed.”

  He struggled not to explode again. “You knew I’d be pissed.”

  “Yes.” She sighed again. “I admit, it was stupid. Okay?”

  Before the discussion ended, Nick needed her to know where he stood. “Do that again, or anything remotely similar, and you’re off the case. Understand?”

  Temper flared in her eyes, but thankfully she decided not to argue the point. Instead, he saw a slight smile curve her lips as she said, “So now can I tell you what I found out?”

  “Yes, as long as you promise you won’t do it again.”

  “I promise. Okay?”

  He nodded, satisfied. “Okay, what did you find out?”

  Even though a part of her still smarted from the lecture, she was mature enough to know that Nick was right. She’d acted impulsively, and if she’d been caught, it might’ve destroyed their entire plan.

  Still, she hadn’t been caught, and she did have something to share. “When Adam was showing me around the mansion, his butler interrupted us to tell him he had a call and suggested he take it in the ‘secure room.’”

  “Secure room?”

  “Yes. That room was definitely not on the tour and isn’t on the blueprints of the mansion.”

  “I’ll be damned, the bastard’s got a secret room.”

  Smiling brilliantly, she added, “And I found it.”

  “Where?”

  “Right next
to his office is a keypad. It’s designed to look like a thermostat, but on closer inspection I realized it’s a security keypad. I felt around the area, and there was a long, narrow indent in the wall that I believe is an opening.”

  “I’m not even going to think about what would have happened if anyone had seen you feeling around the wall.”

  “They didn’t, so let’s get past that and talk about how we’re going to get into the room.”

  “I’ll talk with Justice and Eli. We’ll discuss scenarios during your spa day on Friday. Sound good?”

  “Yes.” She glanced down at her watch. “I guess I’d better go. Adam’s driver is waiting outside to take me back to the house.”

  Kennedy forced herself to head to the door. If she stayed any longer, she would bring up issues he wasn’t ready to deal with yet. Her hand was on the door when he called out, “I had a long talk with Thomas last night.”

  She turned back to him. A lump of emotion jumped to her throat. She knew that had been hard for him…and maybe even harder to admit. “Did it help?”

  “Yeah…a lot.”

  “And?”

  His eyes locked with hers, he walked slowly toward, saying softly, “When this is over, I want to take you to a tropical island and make love to you for days on end.”

  Happiness bloomed throughout her body. “Sounds perfect,” she whispered.

  Standing before her, he continued in that soft, growling voice she loved “And I’d like to talk to you about another kind of partnership. A permanent one.”

  “Sounds even more perfect.”

  Lowering his head, his breath warm and sweet on her face, he placed a soft kiss on her forehead, her nose and then her lips. “I love you Kennedy. Forever, for always.”

  Before she could respond, he kissed her with a reverence and tenderness that brought tears to her eyes and made her heart swell with emotion. Kennedy let him set the pace for the kiss, understanding that Nick was finally letting go of the guilt and pain he’d felt for so long.