“I don't think so, Tang. It's just not worth the trouble. If I don't see her, I don't see her. Besides, I think I found someone else in San Francisco. It's 9:30. Let’s go upstairs, all right?”
“Sure. Just remember, it’s Aunt Catherine, especially in front of Richard. Got it?”
“How can I forget it?” John picked up a box from the table as they headed to the door.
“What's in the box?”
“Just a little something for my Aunt.”
“What is it?” Tang locked the door and used his card key to summon the elevator.
“A music box. Do you think she'll like it?”
“If it's from you, she'll love it.”
The doors opened onto the main foyer of the topmost floor where they were greeted by Tang's two men. John immediately noticed the new large indoor fountain as well as bonsai plants and orchids that seemed to be all over. They found Catherine sitting regally in the living room.
“Good morning, Mrs. Choi,” said Tang.
“Good morning, Tang, John.” Catherine couldn’t hide her emotions. She got up, walked up to John and grabbed him to her in a warm hug. She was teary-eyed and worked hard to hold them back, resulting in a long hug. Finally, she looked deep into John’s face. “How have you been? Things, okay?” She pushed the hair out of his eyes.
“Uh. I've been okay. Here, this is for you.” John handed her his present.
“Thank you, John. This was very thoughtful,” Catherine’s voice trembled. “Did you pick this out yourself?”
“Yes. I hope you like it.”
“Oh, it’s beautiful.” Catherine took the delicate mother of pearl music box from its wrapping and traced its delicate design with her fingertips. She opened it and the soft strains of the Blue Danube waltz played. “Thank you, John. Thank you, I’ll treasure it.”
Tang watched Catherine and John hug each other with equal emotion.
“Tang, please place this in my room and arrange for some tea for us?”
“Yes, Mrs. Choi. Umm, Mrs. Choi, I was to pick up Lauren from the hospital in about half an hour. Did you want to go?”
“No, Tang. Please bring her home. I’ll have Richard take us to the hospital later.
“Yes, Mrs. Choi.” Tang was grateful he’d have a few moments alone with Lauren. He took the music box and left to do her errand, realizing it was her way of acknowledging that they both needed some privacy.
“How is your life in San Francisco?” Catherine asked.
“It’s been okay, but I miss Hong Kong. I’ve missed you.”
“You have? I’ve missed you very much, John.”
The room fell silent as neither knew how to broach the subject of John's banishment.
“So . . . Ahh . . . How is my Uncle?” John asked.
“Oh John, it hurt's me to hear you call him Uncle.”
“Does it, Aunt Catherine?”
“Please, we are alone. Call me Mom.”
“How can I when you know the edict? Besides, were we ever really a family here?”
“How can you ask that?”
“Well, since I've been in the states I've seen what a family is like and I’ve wondered- -”
“Listen John, I worked hard to keep the family here together and strong, despite Rose’s attempts to keep George. Never forget, it was Rose who stole your father from me and drove the wedge that is destroying this family.”
“Did she? I don't think so. I think she is what saved my uncle's heart. She is a good woman filled with love. The only reason you could be jealous of her, is because she has what you never had, George Choi's love!”
“You're not my son! My son wouldn't say such things!”
“You’re right. I’m not your son. I'm your nephew. Remember? Let's face reality, there is no love in this house, we just exist in some game.”
“How can you be so disrespectful? What has that woman done to you?”
“Aunt Rose has shown me compassion and love.”
“And me? I'm your Mother! Don't you think I have loved you all these years?”
“You? Perhaps you did, but I never felt loved. Not here.”
“How can you say that?”
“Okay, Mom. What's my favorite dish? Here's an easier one, what's my favorite color?”
“It's- -” But she didn’t get a chance to answer as John was snapping away.
“You don't know. Before all this happened, when was the last time you and I talked? Do you remember? You don't know, because you've never taken the time to get to know me. Your time was spent with Lauren. When it came to my problems, you sent me to Richard! You pushed me away, just as much as my father did. So Aunt Catherine, how can I call you Mom?”
“I gave birth to you, cared for you, and gave you my love. That makes me your Mother!”
“But it doesn't make you Mom! I've always wanted love, but I don't even know what love is. All I ever felt in this house is anger and tension. I wanted someone to care about me!”
“I do care about you John and love you as only a Mother can love her son. I wish you didn't feel like you do, but don't blame me for your father's edict. I had nothing to do with it.”
“Then why didn't you ever have time for me?”
“I had time for you John, but you never had time for me. The truth, John; you said to face it, so face it. I tried to reach through and talk to you, but you never wanted to know anything. You thought I was just another woman and treated me very carelessly. And even though that hurt, I still tried to talk to you. Remember, just before you went on vacation last year?”
“Yes,” John’s heart sensed something in the tone of his mother’s voice.
“Remember, I tried to talk to you about taking Ze-Shan, but you didn't want to hear what I had to say. The truth John, is that you are very much like your father. When it is going along your game plan and meets your needs, you stop and take the time to listen. When it doesn't fit in with your life style, or is not in tune with what you want at the moment, you could care less about me, or anyone else. Love is a two-way street John and I have tried for years to give you love. But all I felt from you was rejection. Don't push me away now that we need each other.”
“Mom?” John’s heart was opening to the possibility when he saw Richard enter.
“She's not your mother, John, or have you forgotten that?”
“Leave Richard, I wish to speak to my son alone,” said Catherine.
“Now Mrs. Choi, you know what your husband requested,” said Richard.
“Leave us Richard. . . . Now!”
“Very well. It’s nine-forty-five and visiting hours are from ten-thirty to noon.”
“Thank you, Richard, I am very much aware of this fact,” said Catherine coldly.
John astonished, stood up and watched Richard leave. “Well, this is a new one. I've never seen you dismiss Richard before, have you tired of him?”
“Watch your mouth young man! Don't take that tone with me! I've been the one who has been trying to protect you all these years and if you wondered how I've been doing it, look at Richard! I've been using him to protect and guide you, so silence that little mouth of yours and sit back down. It's time we talked, and for once you’ll hear what I have to say! Let's deal with your initial questions first, since that’s the way you judge. Your favorite color is blue, your favorite dish when last I checked, was Braised Abalone, and your favorite girlfriend was Mee-Lee, but I understand there is a new one in San Francisco. Your favorite restaurant was that new French one in Central, where you liked showing off to your friends, by buying them all dinner, although I hear some place called the Stinking Rose is your favorite in San Francisco. I kind of like that name.”
“I didn't think you knew anything, besides that stuff doesn't matter, you still don't know about me. You still weren't there- -”
“And you weren't there when I needed you. After you turned sixteen, nothing I could do or say would keep you close. You just disappeared out of the house. You rebelled and tur
ned away from your family and me. Richard said it was something all young men go through. Perhaps it was wrong to listen to the man, but his was the only male opinion I had. Your father didn't have time for me and had even less for you. Surely, you saw this. Why do you think I sent you to Richard? Why? … Well, I’ll tell you why! So you would have at least one man, to look up to! He wasn't the finest, but he was the best I could find at the moment.”
“I needed your love!”
“You always had it and don’t forget I needed your love, too. I’ve suffered many years because of Rose. If it wasn't for her, your father would have been here to help me raise you!”
“So why didn't you divorce him?”
“For money, position and power. You see even today, as liberal as we women are, a woman in Asia is still defined by who is her husband. We’re trying to change these things and perhaps by the 80's, things will be different, and women will no longer be owned by their husbands, or sold into prostitution by their fathers to settle debts. Don't look away in disgust. Your father's business hasn't been so clean all these years and I've seen lots of his dirty laundry!”
“What about Richard?”
“He'll wait! This is more important!”
John looked at his mother with renewed eyes and opened himself toward her words.
*
Rose paused in the living room doorway and stared at James. Sitting there on her blue sofa, he was bent over and running his hands through his hair as he usually did when perplexed. She could tell he was trying to be brave but she would have preferred if he opened up about what he was feeling. It was a lot easier to get John a wandering soul in need, to sit down and talk. True, it wasn't easy at first and it did take nearly three hours for John to relax, but once he did, the flood of information concerning the danger of her son and his new life was overwhelming. She was shocked by the news that James was far more involved in her husband's business of drugs and extortion than she knew.
Rose looked over at her son and thought how different the two of them were. John was independent and unfocused, but if he were to temper his strength, and focus, he would be a threat to her son's position. Her son, while strong and secure, hadn't left the safety net yet and relied too heavily on others to make his decisions. This wouldn't be so bad for a good leader who listens to his men, but James neglected to weigh the ulterior motives behind those to whom he listened. She went and sat next to James.
“James, it’s not good to keep things bottled up. It’ll only make things worse. Please tell me what is bothering you.” Rose placed her arms about James’ shoulders but he shoved them away.
“Leave me alone Mom, there’s nothing you can do.”
“Let me try helping you. I know this is difficult and painful for you, but - -”
“Mom, there’s too much happening! I came here to try to escape from the bullshit. You said you wanted to have dinner, so I came. Just don't start on things. I know you're upset with Dad and you need to talk, but I can’t talk about what’s bothering me. Okay?”
“James. If you don’t release the pressure by talking, things will only get worse.”
“That's what my dai lows are for. That’s what Charlie and my friends are for; support. I don't need your advice Mom. I have my men.”
“You don't need my advice? You have men you can't trust, who are out for their own gains. Why are you so blind at times to the people around you?”
“I don't have to answer your questions. You don't know things.”
“Then explain things to me. What’s going on? Why are you afraid to let me in?”
“Mother. You are my Mom and there are some things a man just cannot talk about with- - with a- - a- - a woman, especially, his mother. Now please, please leave me alone. I don't need you on my back as well.” James got up and walked to the door.
“Where are you going?”
“I'm going out.”
“Where? To see Susan?” Rose decided it was time to take the kid gloves off.
“So what if I do?” James felt the anger swelling inside himself.
“Nothing, but did you know her brother belongs to the Eagles?”
James stopped dead in his tracks, his hand paralyzed on the doorknob. Turning slowly, he looked straight at his mother in total disbelief. The San Francisco Eagles were an offshoot of the Hong Kong sect that had attacked his father about eight months ago. His mother never showed interest or knowledge of gang politics, let alone that she knew who his enemies were. Susan has a brother. How did she keep such a secret and how did his mother know?
“James, I'm not ignorant of your gang or their activities. Yes, she has a brother; his name is Stephen and he’s in the Eagles. They are your bitter enemy and over what? Portsmouth Square? Do you think I could have been married all these years to your father and not know something about his world? I may not know about all his businesses, but I know more than you think I know. James, you’re all I have. Please, sit down and let’s talk. Shall we?”
James stood by the door as if he were flashed frozen in the spot. “What makes you think Susan's brother is in the Eagles? What do you know?” James soft voice quivered. He turned and looked at his mother. She sat there with her hands neatly in her lap with her eyes narrowed into almost slits. He watched as she stood and walked over to him.
“For starters, I know you’re having trouble with the police, your drug shipments have been intercepted, there’s a traitor and that you have been taking your mother for a fool.”
“Mom, I’ve never thought of you as a fool.”
“Really? Well, your actions make me feel as if that’s all I am to you. Sit down James and let’s have a little talk.” Rose chose not to reveal that it was her recent conversations with John and her first cousin, Richard that illuminated most of James’ current circumstances.
*
Catherine watched as John settled himself upon the new pearl-gray sofa and allowed herself a moment to admire the strength that emanated from her son. She saw changes in John. Good changes, she thought. It wasn't a factor of dress, but of bearing that shone through. There were subtle changes in his demeanor, which indicated he was finally on the right road to manhood. He wasn’t there yet, but she was happy he had taken the first few steps. The gift was one sign, a simple show of respect toward her. These were things he never did in the past.
“Your father, John, has long been a man with an objective, the restoration of Choi family to the honor it once had known. He was a very ambitious young man when he came to speak to my father, who was the Shan Chu back then and it was then, when I met him. The more I think of it, you look a lot like him when he was your age.”
“I know all of this. What of it?”
“What you don't know is Richard's role and how that man has intertwined his life with this family. You don’t know how I fear he may bring down the Choi family.”
“Richard?” John’s attention was transfixed. He looked directly into his mother’s eyes.
“Yes, Richard! Who do you think he is? How would you evaluate him?”
“He's Dad's right hand man, bound by some oath they took years ago. Right?”
“But what about his role within our personal lives? Haven't you ever wondered why your father has a business associate running the house as a butler?”
“I've never thought of it before. What's the deal with Richard?”
“Let us start with his business empire. What businesses does your father own? Who are his closest associates? Who are his enemies?”
“I don't know. He is into shipping; he owns apartment buildings, so that means he's into real estate. I know he owns a couple of factories that make women's clothes, and he has some ships, business stuff. I know he belongs to the Society but - -”
“Than you know only one tenth of who your father is.”
*
“Come back to the sofa James, it’s time to talk.” Rose saw uncertainty in James' stance but was pleased her words had struck a cord.
He was as American as any other person born within the U.S. but out of his desire to be like his father, his customs and attitudes were more traditional Chinese, or rather his image of what traditional Chinese should be which upset her.
Men, thought Rose, can be stupid living life enslaved to ancient rules and roles that are not pertinent to the modern world. It is said there is safety in rules and perhaps, they’re right. If you always follow the rules, mistakes cannot be made as things become predictable. Or can they, she thought. Rules governing a traditional wife would mean that she should mind her own business and leave the outside world to her husband and her son. If she followed the rules, she wouldn't have to be concerned for them; she would rest thinking the man would protect her from all. But with her husband and protector in the hospital, her fallback is either her son, or Richard. She knows her son would do all he could to protect her, but her cousin, Richard, would he?
“Okay, Mom. You spoke the magic words that got my attention. What has the Eagles to do with Susan's brother? I didn't even know she had a brother.”
“That's because you walk around with your mind trying to figure a way to get under her skirt. Sometimes I think your hormones get the better of you.”
“Mother, I have no desire to discuss my sex life just this minute. I’ve got problems. . .”
“And the problems stem from your Uncle Richard, your girlfriend Susan, your rival John, and your traitor. Don't say anything and don't look at me with such a shocked expression. You’re the Choi son, but you act as if you’re a gutter rat more than the fire rooster that you are!”
“Mother- -”
“Don't look so condescending. I’m your mother!”
“I'm sorry Mom, but talking is not exactly what I'm in the mood for.”
“Then sit down and listen. You have choices to make. Either you’ll lay the foundations that will bring you closer to your father and your rightful inheritance or you will push yourself out of contention. Your father is fortunate that he’s going to survive, but if he doesn't, both the society and his business empire would go into a state of fluctuation. Who would settle the storm? You or your brother?”
The Dragon Within His Shadow Page 17
